“It seems that men can happily re-appropriate the word “slut” if they simply re-appropriate feminist outrage. Outrage about women’s unyielding subjection to shame is, of course, the logical segue into outrage about men’s ever-threatened right to be promiscuous.”

The sarcasm may be lost on some dudes, though. Post is here.

The reach of the patriarchy’s toxicity is truly mind-boggling.

Please stop giving your energy to men.

Absolutely… I think you hit it with the link between sexual liberation and in- fighting. But P is never too far behind! Patriarchy has twisted our sexual liberation in every way possible. Making it about looking the best we can for men against all odds, turning it into a competition for them has turned us cold against each other.

Housing-on-demand should be available to any woman who wants it, instantly liberating millions from the shackles of co-habiting for financial reasons. *That* would be fucking revolutionary.

There is limited (and very inadequate) housing assistance available for women here in the U.S. But they get it if, and only if, they have procreated and failed to secure the sponsorship and supervision of a male. They also must be extremely indigent. Unpartnered childless women who are poor can fuck off and die, since they didn’t even succeed in getting their proper role half right.

Still, I echo everyone else here who advises against having children. Inasmuch as my life has been a cavalcade of stupid mistakes and ill-advised decisions that have led me to my current position of being on the brink of bankruptcy, and facing the prospect of having to live with my Nigel, I look back with profound gratitude on the fact that I realized long ago that motherhood was a bogus trap and I opted out of it. Face it, any occupation that the Patriarchy slathers with so much unctious flattery as motherhood has got to be some of the most shitty unpaid oppressive bullshit imaginable. Hell, even nuns get modest accomodations and (usually) don’t have to fuck some entitled prick and birth babies for him.

I presume your SO is being flippant. I get her point, but I gotta bring up a few points.

The flip side is that even a strong relationship based on mutual blah blah blah still may not produce good sex. Bummer.

You’re right. My SO was being sarcastic about the study’s findings, and you are absolutely correct that the correlation between feminism and fulfilling relationships is much more complicated than the study lets on.

But this brings up an interesting question: if this is yet another uncritical sociology study from the bowels of the Cultural Enforcement Department in academia, why isn’t it railing against feminism? Why didn’t they twist the results into yet another frothing anti-feminist rant?

Perhaps some progressive trailblazing women have made it past the P’s guards and into publishing positions in the sociology field?

thebewilderness & Twisty, I can only speak for myself, but my experience with other ladies in the kitchen is one of great FUN and many pleasantries. It might be because of the people I choose to spend my time with, whether family or friend. I will admit that things DO get a little heated when we leave the kitchen while the food cooks in the oven for a round of Scrabble (no men allowed in our game!), so maybe that’s our outlet for competition that prevents it from entering the kitchen. Nevertheless, I think that the tradition of gender separatism designed by the patriarchy is not entirely detrimental to female relationships with each other. Certainly before the industrial revolution when the division of gendered labor was less centralized, women were each other’s primary companions. Maybe my historical vision of female relationships has been blissfully skewed by Lillian Faderman’s “Surpassing the Love of Men”— please feel free to correct me— but I wonder if the “in-fighting” and intense competition between women isn’t in some part a reaction to the “sexual liberation” that enabled us to have “new” relationships with men, rather requiring us to be “good girls” and virgins until marriage? Now that it’s more or less “acceptable” for women to have multiple partners, now that we’re “allowed” to have lots male “friends,” we see a new threat in each other. I’m thinking out loud here; what’s your reaction? I’m not sure that this theory would apply to familial relationships, women seem to be quite coercive and even abusive about their expectations for each other within the context of family units (which expectations are often patriarchy-based!), but do you think the causal relationship between sexual “liberation” and “in-fighting” might apply to our platonic relationships with other women?
I have a vague recollection of reading this analysis somewhere before…anyone? If true, this is yet another reason to give heterosexuality the boot! Incidentally, I’ve found that some straight women who do not have many female friends are able to be friendly with my partner & I, probably because we’re not threatening to her (or, in turn, threatened by her) in her eternal quest for male attention.

This is not a feminist work, and I think she’s got quite a few things wrong, but it is a fascinating read with lots of interesting ideas.