Shut up, woman!
Say what you will about Spinster Aunt Global’s Comparative Language Lab; our legendary world-famous notoriety is well-known for two reasons. One is our extraordinary subtlety, an almost, um, what’s the word … undetectable expertise in our field of study.
The other is that we’re perpetually contemplating opening a branch office in Crete.
The latter of which would mean brushing up on our Greek. To that end, I recently took it upon myself to type the word “woman” into one of those free online English-to-Greek translators. There I found a range of extremely useful idioms. I know you will be as excited to learn them as I was.
Note: another of the award-nominated legends of our celebrated high-quality lab is that we famously don’t know how to make the Greek alphabet display in WordPress, so the gist of today’s post is presented in the exciting JPEG format!
Since they have no practical modern application, I haven’t bothered to include translations of the three less pejorative phrases suggested by the translator (“woman doctor,” “woman suffrage,” and “woman plays an important role in …”).
Maybe you’re wondering why I didn’t type “man” into the translator, by way of fairness or comparison. As a matter of fact, I did, but holy cow. Whereas “woman” returned a dainty 1 1/2 pages of results, the search on “man” returned twenty-effing-nine pages! I guess I just didn’t feel womanly virtuous enough to tackle such an embarrassment of riches. So if you need to know Greek for “man is the measure of all things,” “I captured fewer men, but I won the game,” or “man began to observe the cycle of seasons,” you’re on your own.