You can heave your sigh of relief; no BBC News chimp-biology-is-human-destiny post will be inflicted on you today. Not that every effort wasn’t made. But inexplicably, this morning’s Beeb feed was all full of non-ev-psych patriarchy stuff. The headlines all sounded like paperback bestsellers or Hollywood blockbusters. “Cyberspies infiltrate US power grid.” “How can pirates be stopped?” “Ugandan spy jailed for AIDS fraud.” Spies and pirates!
I did notice that the UK’s “top counter-terrorism officer” got sacked after he was photographed waving top-secret documents around on the street. I had a chuckle about that.
You know, the more I read about the zany antics of British politicians, the more they remind me of the Texas legislature.
The Texas lege, for those who have the misfortune of not being Texan, is widely regarded as the most ape-shit hilarious lege in the land.
But I digress.
Since the BBC couldn’t deliver the goods, I was forced to click on the next feed, the Huffington Post. Breaking news! “Hillary channels Michelle.” Apparently Clinton was spotted wearing a jaunty belt and flowery brooch, sending shockwaves throughout the galaxy. A few clicks later, it became clear that the Huffington Post employs legions of people to report with deadly seriousness — as though lives were at stake — on the personal appearance of political women. Check out this irrelevant admonishment:
When Oscar de la Renta lambasted Michelle Obama last week in Women’s Wear Daily for wearing a cardigan to meet Queen Elizabeth II – sniping, “You don’t go to Buckingham Palace in a sweater” — he betrayed a disdain for the First Lady’s sense of style that is at the heart of the fashion establishment’s criticism of her. [cite]
Fashion establishment? Mang, if I were running the feminist revolt, the first thing I’d hurl several thousand grenades at would be the Fashion Establishment. Racist, sexist, fascist, classist, consumerist, misogynist, and snobby; fashion’s just an ugly little package of old-world patriarchy wrapped up in overpriced taffeta made by indentured slaves in the Northern Mariana Islands. Who the fuck cares if Obama goes to Buckingham Palace in a sweater? Would it give the fucking Queen an aneurysm? Would it cause global warming? Would it throw the economy in the toilet? Think of the children!
Fuck that gasbag snob Oscar de la Renta, and fuck anyone who thinks his asinine occupation exhibits an iota of philosophic value. And while I’m at it, fuck the British monarchy, too.
Well, that about wraps it up. I’ve gotta go oppress some fire ants. I will be wearing what I would wear to Buckingham Palace: dirty breeches, rubber boots, and a crummy University of Texas baseball cap.