The iPhone used to be the purview of elitists and geeks. A current Apple commercial says it still is, attempting to illustrate the unsurpassed coolness of its product by demonstrating that it can be used to read books and MRIs.
However, now that iPhones have filtered into the mainstream, they are little more than mediocrity-delivery devices. And less.
As of this writing, the 20 “Top Paid Apps” at the Apple iPhone Lifestyle section contained:
1. Bikini Blast
2. Bible Shaker
9. Sexy Spin
18. Bikini Girls 2
19. Sexy Bikini
“Lifestyle.” Man, I love that word. A set of behaviors and beliefs for which you must buy how-to manuals and that you must update constantly with the latest accessories.
That Bible Shaker is a crack-up.
Are you praying for someone to get healed? Shake out a healing scripture to back up your prayer and pray God’s Word [...] In these dark and troubled times, you need to be equipped with the Sword of the Spirit. What better way to live your life than with God’s answers right at your finger tips. [sic]
But what’s with all the sexy bikinis? Is this Austin Powers’ iPhone?
Recently released, but too stupid even for the Top 20, were:
Of course the iPhone has applications that emulate “Spin the Bottle,” but just try to take a decent picture with the damn thing. Sex before functionality, that’s Apple’s motto. Who needs video and sound recording, cut-and-paste, and for the lovamike, the ability to send a fucking photo with my text message, when you can click on a “foreplay” button and hit that shit?