Does anything say “For the lovagod douse this flame of heartwarmth before I self-immolate!” like a pair of striped bark scorpions caught inadvertently in a spider trap under the frigidaire? The great romantic tragedy of this tableau: it is likely that these two were in the throes of a heartwarming courtship ballet when their tender …
Monthly Archive: May 2009
May 31 2009
Spinster auntism lives
Oh yeah. I forgot to mention that, for good or ill, I’ll continue publishing blogularisms until the next batch of pointless criticism drives me completely underground. I mention this because some of you have expressed an interest. To those who have not expressed an interest: I bet you’re bored as hell, reading this. You should …
May 30 2009
Fictional character returns to home planet
Twisty caught the red-eye back to Obstreperon last night. Her work here, she said, was done. Before she left she implanted a Blame-U-Lator in my lobe (the device will enable her to inject feminist dogma directly into my brain from anywhere in the space-time continuum). Then she rolled up in a ball and had me …
May 29 2009
Pay no attention to that ghost writer behind the curtain
Holy shit. I come back from a simple blown lobe, and what the hell. I observe that that grubby stinkpot Jill has gotten above herself, flyin too close to the sun an’ that. It is of paramount importance that you disregard anything she says. She’s unhinged. Teams of experts have confirmed it. I mean, she’s …
May 28 2009
Cuntalinagate
Just checking in to see how my “indictment” is going. I see I have been voted off Savage Death Island. Brilliant. Oh, looky. I’m likened to Don Imus! Ha! Good one. And several demands for a public apology, as though I were some elected official who has trodden upon Roe v Wade in a pair …
May 27 2009
Spinster aunt has an appointment in town, so this is all the post you get
Venomous sicariid (male) enjoying its last heartwarming moments in the Spinster Araneae Compound. May 2009. U.S. Ambassador Susan Rice said Tuesday that North Korea is “trying to test whether they can intimidate the international community” with an underground nuclear test and launching of short-range missiles. Well, color me intimidated, Susan. Whenever crazy dictators start blowing …
May 23 2009
Spinster aunt disagrees with columnist she agreed with that one time
This cuntalina opines in the Daily Mail that women who don’t have kids “lack [...] an essential humanity.” That’s why she only wants “working mothers” on her staff. Her job is something she calls a “hack.” I don’t know what a “hack” is, but it apparently requires a familiarity with the experience of child vomit …
May 22 2009
Spinster aunt emits guffaw at Sarah Haskins vid
Troubled by that TV commercial where the laundry detergent teddy bear mascot tries to drown a woman in a giant hot tub filled with pink laundry, but instead of calling the cops or trying to kill the teddy bear, the woman is grateful, and the teddy bear puts up a Do Not Disturb sign so …
May 22 2009
Hugs, Twisty: join us as we curl our lip at whiny dads
Dear Twisty, I just read a book review, titled “From Patriarch to Patsy,” linked by Ann Bartow at feministlawprofessors.com and I’m excited to let you know that, not only has feminism succeeded in gaining us equality, we really are now oppressing the men. I am so excited about my total control of reproduction and my …
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Savage Death Island Motto
Take it or fucking leave it and get the hell away from me.
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