May 05 2009

Spinster aunt recommends intellectual busywork as countermeasure against occupying forces

Milkweed bugs on antelope horn
Heatwarming milkweed bugs stick their butts together on a clump of antelope horn.

Everyone is always asking me how to smash patriarchy.

“It’s all well and good,” they say, “this vague, spinster auntly consciousness-raising crap in the Age of Funfeminism and Liberal Dudes, but where’s the practical solution?”

Well, I sure as hell don’t know. Nothing I’ve tried so far has worked, with the possible and imperfect exception of dropping out of society.

Dropping out of society is not a flawless gambit, to be sure. The patriarchy-smashing is localized to one’s immediate sphere of influence, and is entirely illusory, regardless of the depth to which one drops. You may be so far off the map that only the mosquitoes can find you, but Dude Nation, that icky subsidiary of the megatheocorporatocracy, still owns the map, confounding at every turn the efforts of spinster aunts who just want a quiet life without quite so many assholes in it.

You might, for example, find in your bathroom a paperback entitled Emergency by New York Times Bestselling Author Neil Strauss, who “takes us on a white-knuckled journey through America’s heart of darkness as he scrambles to escape the system.” You might thumb through it because, what a coincidence, you’re scrambling to escape the system too, and besides there’s nothing else to read in there except the Christmas catalog from Dover Saddlery. In so thumbing, you might come across this paragraph:

In the Golestan Shopping Center, women wrapped in burkas shopped for designer jewelry. Though the only skin showing was the front of their faces peering out from beneath black chadors, at least one in twenty of those faces had a bandaged nose from recent plastic surgery. My cab driver later told me that Iran was the world capital of nose jobs, proving that even in a culture like this, a woman’s vanity could not be kept down.”

Though, as a New York Times Bestselling Author, Neil Strauss ought to be on top of the world and above such things, he nevertheless feels it necessary to prove something unpleasant about women as a class.* He isn’t about to let the prooflessness of his argument keep him from doing it. And there you are, reading it. Thus has a misogynist dickwad wormed its way into your private bathroom.

Are you about to say, “Twisty, you dumbass, you were just asking for it, picking up a book written by a New York Times Bestselling Author”?

Don’t say it! Consider the implications!

Because no, I wasn’t just asking to feast my eyes upon that offensive (and poorly written) statement. The thought that it might amuse me to read some dude’s pronouncements on the inferiority of women never even entered my lobe. Like any rational human, the spinster aunt is seldom compelled to seek out abuse. Particularly when in the bathroom. But ours is a society wherein one does not have a reasonable expectation of freedom from bigotry, sexism, exploitation, and knobbery, on the grid or off, on the toilet or off.

Which is why I can only suggest an intellectual fortress approach to coping with membership in an oppressed class. It goes like this:

You know that thing you really enjoy doing? The thing that gives you the illusion that your life has meaning? With me, it’s sitting around looking at bugs with their butts stuck together. With you, it’s probably weaving god’s eyes out of rainbow yarn or something. Well, whatever it is, do it all the time, and with a sort of vengeance. Because the more you focus your lobe on shit that has actual philosophic value, the fewer the lobal chinks through which New York Times Bestselling Authors can slither.

* New York Times Bestselling Author Neil Strauss’s other works include Jenna Jameson’s autobiography, the seminal How To Make Love Like a Porn Star, proving that New York Times Bestselling Author Neil Strauss is an asshole. The only “system” he wants to escape is some imaginary one where women have an iota of human dignity.


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  1. pheenobarbidoll

    Pico de gallo does it for me. I eat it and pretend the P doesn’t exist. My only dominance issue comes from jalepeno onion ratios. Jalepenos oppress onion in my pico de gallo. But even the jalepeno knows nose jobs are from the P.

  2. Pinko Punko

    Twisty did not just namecheck dreaded elemntary school craft project “god’s eyes” (apostrophize and capitalize to one’s own specification), did she? Oh yes she did!

    If I could go back in time I’d call mine “Space Magic Dude Checking out yer Boob with Lecherous Denunciation/Representation of Patriarchy”

  3. tinfoil hattie

    Like any rational human, the spinster aunt is seldom compelled to seek out abuse.

    Aaah, but some of us were so abused for so many years that even when we escape the abusive situation, we still seek out abuse as a reflex. Even when we think we are behaving rationally. To us, that isrational behavior.

    I blame you-know-what.

  4. rubysecret

    How does Mr. Strauss know the bandages were not acquired by having had a husband, rather than a plastic surgeon, attempt to rearrange her features?!
    And if women were truly vain, they would believe in their hearts that their original, natural born eyes, noses, boobs and chins were the fairest of them all. Ack! My brain needs a bath after that, fer shure.

    You’re right. Birds, bugs, turtles, and colorful yarn crafts. Ahhh, better.

  5. Pantsuit Sally

    Ah, yes, that pesky female vanity! That’s right- all teh menz think women are beautiful just the way nature made them, but those silly wimmins just have to go around getting cosmetic surgery for vanity’s sake. Well, that and the delightful tickling sensation that comes from cutting up one’s skin and having bones broken and artfully rearranged. And don’t forget the recovery time- just an excuse for them to laze around the house and eat bonbons. Yep, it’s a regular ol’ lady utopia.

  6. Chocolate Tort

    Rubysecret, I like this: if women were truly vain, they’d believe that their natural features were the fairest of them all. As a matter of fact, I do like staring at myself in the mirror and making faces; if I’m not the fairest one by my own calculus, at least I’m a pretty interesting one.

    But when I and other women stare into mirrors to get that one last stupid eyebrow hair that refuses to budge or to bemoan a blemish no one else can even see or to rub off blush that looks just a little TOO blushy-y, that’s not vanity. That’s poor self-image resulting from a constant barrage of commentary on the not-quite-to-porn-standards looks of actual women by the media and dudes on the street.

    If those are the only things I worry about when I look into the mirror, I know I have it easy. But when I’m not making faces or admiring the various wounds I incur (fencing, hikes through the woods), it’s not vanity.

  7. Butterflywings

    Chocolate Tort, Ruby Secret – thirded. You are so right.

    I love how women are expected to take care of our appearance, or we’re mannish or a slob, but at the same time, such care is taken as proof of our fluffy dizzy ‘vanity’ and lady-ness.

    Oh and YES to Twisty’s thesis. More time doing things we actually care about = less doing patriarchy-pleasing crap – such as oh, excessive beautifying.

  8. Red Robin

    I love how women are expected to take care of our appearance, or we’re mannish or a slob, but at the same time, such care is taken as proof of our fluffy dizzy ‘vanity’ and lady-ness.

    Such care is also admissible against women as proof of asking to be raped. A lack of care, on the other hand, is likely to lead Dudes to wonder, “Who’d rape HER?” IBTP.

  9. PhysioProf

    Those milkweed bugs are fucking coolio!

    One of my informants who knows from bugs tells me that the difference in color of the two bugs in your picture depends on how long since the last molt. Immediately after molting, the color is yellowish, and becomes more orange over several hours.

  10. Jezebella

    I would like to congratulate you on using the word “seminal” to describe a book correctly for the first time in the history of the English language. Thank you.

  11. Dr. Helmet Breath

    Another feather to Neil Strauss’ cap is the literary gem, “The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pick-up Artists,” a book he authored wherein he infiltrated the “seduction community” to become a pick-up artist. He maintains his pick-up artist persona not only in the service of his noble journalism but to enrich his own life, as he has given personal seminars on pick-up artistry in which he teaches a bunch of chumps how to A) flaunt their god-given, well-deserved male entitlement and B) treat women as if they are inscrutable aliens from the planet Zorg. So you know, no surprise there.

  12. rubysecret

    What’s being called vanity is really self-loathing, in the war=peace tradition. It would be splendid if we could see an upsurge of REAL female vanity of the “I was 100% awesome the minute I was born” variety. Free mirrors for everyone.

  13. Chai Latte

    Here’s how we end the Patriarchy:

    1. Put it in a box
    2. Put that box inside another box
    3. Mail that box to ourselves
    4. And smash it with a HAMMER!!

    Brilliant brilliant brilliant! Genius, I say!

  14. slythwolf

    Chai Latte, don’t forget to don your implausible 15th-century-Aztec mad scientist garb with goggles.

    I remember, lo these many years ago when I used to read “women’s magazines”, those obnoxiously omnipresent articles of feminine pornification propaganda, one of them had an article about how Iran was the nose job capital of the world.

    The reason behind this, claimed the article, was that women in Iran were expected to pornify themselves to as high a degree as possible, and then display this pornification only to their husbands. They had, the patriarchy asserted, a duty to present as beautiful a face to their husbands as money could buy. The article engaged in some pearl-clutching about the idea that a woman’s femininity practices should benefit only one man, as opposed to the natural and good American system where women’s bodies belong to all men.

  15. Sutton

    @ Red Robin: I beg to differ. A lack of care leads to the suggested patriarchal cure, to wit, “What she needs is a good fuck.”

  16. HistoricUpstart

    @Chai Latte – “Yzma, put your hands in the air!!” I literally know every word of that movie.

  17. keshmeshi

    Just goes to show that the New York Times bestseller list is nothing but a wretched hive of scum and villainy. A decent book winds up there, what? Once every decade?

    And it’s just so hard to understand why, in a country where women’s features are so fetishized as to be forbidden from public view, those women would feel insecure about their appearance.

  18. keshmeshi

    Oh, and in reference to your Twitter comment. Capitol = the building in which governance (more or less) takes place. Capital = the city which is the seat of governance of a country/state/province.

  19. Kelsey

    I work in a motor-sports store with an overwhelmingly male clientele. I see dudes come in and spent the equivalent of a month of my rent on a single pair of boots, when a lot of these men are just weekend warriors that don’t race professionally and a sturdy (but less bad-ass) pair of work-boots would do the same job at half the cost. Of course they have every right to spend their money as they wish, but I just find it odd that no one ever criticizes THEIR vainglory spendthrift ways. So now, whenever I hear some jackass complaining about those shallow, vapid, materialistic bimbos and the bottomless pits in their souls that can only be filled by high heels, designer dresses, and plastic surgery, I laugh and laugh. And by laugh, I mean dig my neurotically-chewed nails into my palm and try to stop my eye from twitching.

  20. magriff

    Hopelessness sucks, so do bug butts. I’m going to brush up on Andrea Dworkin now, before I lecture on Pornography tomorrow morning in front of a bunch of wide-eyed Freshmen. Thought I was doing something Good but guess I’m not.

  21. Antoinette Niebieszczanski

    Weaving those little pot-holders out of wool loopies does it for me. And contemplating the blooms on my wisteria.

  22. speedbudget

    I do Stampin-Up. I frigging love making cards out of shtuffs. Plus, it totally consumes every part of your mind, this picking the best colors and patterns and placements and it goes on and on. And then, it’s over. And it’s back to reality. But now you have some cards to send to people wherein you can put little Blamely notes.

    And you know what? Fuck this Neil dude and his entitlement. I just wish, just once, some Dewd could set his entitlement aside for just a minute and imagine what it’s like to live in such an oppressive society that you can’t even leave the house without an escort, and then you have to have permission slips and whatnot. And then try to navigate that world while also having to be smexy but not too smexy but very smexy but not too much. And then risk getting killed by your husband for the slightest of reasons.

    And then take that experience and imagine what it’s like to live here, where we are “free,” but still constrained by very real fears of rape and assault and degradation if you look too good or not good enough, where you are constantly graded and scored and your whole worth is based on what you look like. And then try to avoid the siren call of plastic surgery.

    I doubt Neil Asshat would make it very far.

  23. Pantsuit Sally

    Butterflywings, you are absolutely correct: no matter what women do, it’s always wrong. If women engage in all the makeup/hairstyling/dieting/grooming crap, men are annoyed at how much time and money they dedicate to it, and they call them high-maintenance and lament the lack of “down-to-earth” women. When a woman doesn’t buy into all the drag, she’s accused of “letting herself go”. Her lack of attention to her appearance gets translated to a lack of pride in her appearance, which is interpreted as evidence of her lack of self-esteem. It really is like living in Opposite Land, where satisfaction with one’s natural state somehow gets twisted into an indication of self-hatred.

  24. K

    Twisty, thank you for giving me another reason to knit!

  25. gayle

    May 5, 2009 at 10:33 pm

    “Hopelessness sucks,”

    You’re right. It’s also the lazy way out. Join NOW or The New Agenda or Planned Parenthood– whatever floats your boat– and do something, even if you’re convinced it won’t change the world. It might change a teeny tiny piece of it.

    I guarantee you nothing will improve if we all convince ourselves it’s hopeless.

  26. The Hedonistic Pleasureseeker

    ” . . . a quiet life without quite so many assholes in it,” the modern equivalent to a room of one’s own. I keep the mainstream media (newspapers, magazines, television, and bestsellers) out of mine, which helps, but I still have trouble with Invading Forces.

    I spend my hard earned disposable income on new door locks, evergreen bushes and hedges, and silver-sprayed windows, so said neighbor will FINALLY lose track of my whereabouts while I’m at home, and not come into my house “looking for my cats” while I’m away, etc. If these don’t work, I’m buying a gun.

    I hear scientists have invented an invisibility cloak using nanotechnology and something called metamaterial. Perhaps there is hope. The Invisibility Burka. How about an invisible house?

  27. undercover punk

    Twistyyyyy, hear my cheer: S-E-P-A-R-A-T-I-S-M!! The dreaded S word strikes again!

    I strive to CREATE NEW VALUES and to SHARE them with others. I disassociate myself from the megatheocorporatocracy, but I remain firmly invested in the Joys of Life—which include LOVING women for everything we are and savoring the deep emotional connections that we are uniquely capable of.

  28. Twisty

    Undercover punk, it’s a nice dream, but dudes still own the world. Separate? Why not? I don’t think it will smash patriarchy, though. It can only address the immediate concerns of a few individuals. Thus leaving millions of non-communal non-lesbian disenfranchised persons hanging in the lurch.

    Also, I disagree that women are “unique.” This is the patriarchal lie that got us into trouble in the first place.

  29. Barbara P

    “Vanity” really is the correct term. The work to keep up appearances is all in vain; it is meaningless. That’s how I always interpret it, anyway.

    Of course, this means that last sentence from Neil Strass doesn’t make sense. It should read: “especially in a culture like this, a woman’s vanity [pursuit of meaningless favor from men] could not be kept down”.

  30. Twisty

    Fuck Neil Strauss. Although I usually give away books I don’t need, my habit, when encountering misogynist paperback crap that isn’t even written good, is to tear that shit up and throw it out, lest it fall into the hands of an impressionable youngster.

  31. undercover punk

    Oh, Twisty, you said my internet name!

    From what I understand of Life on Twisty Faster’s Ranch, separatism essentially *is* your M.O. You just won’t use my favorite word.

    Now, because I refuse to hold my breath for the Revolution (lest I perish or disrupt my delicate cerebral balance), I will never KNOW whether there are inherent differences between men and women.

    In the meantime, female socialization and the encouragement of “female virtues” has resulted, in my humble opinion, in a superior female capacity for the depth and complexity of emotional connection that I crave. Additionally, the emotional connection *between* women, being something that men will NEVER be able to participate in by its very definition, IS unique.

    Anyways, I can not save every woman or convince them of The Way Forward. But I can help myself. Merely by doing so, I demonstrate the availability of alternatives to self-sacrificing worship of Dude Nation, as you call it. I also attempt (through my ranting & blogging) to make other women aware that they, too, have the option of creating new values for themselves and their lives. At the very least we seek comfort and solidarity in our communications, gaining strength to continue resisting patriarchal values.

    Female agency is undoubtedly limited by oppression, but I will *never* resign myself to its unconditional occupation of my being. I Separate with Pride.

  32. blondie

    even in a culture like this, a woman’s vanity could not be kept down.

    Ughhh! On occasions of such outraging, empty-headed, smug lying, my best resort is to lie on the floor next to the best dog in the world for several minutes of blood-pressure-lowering bellyrubs and dog communion that passes all understanding. If the best dog in the world is literally out of reach, I just have to fume and fester.

  33. orlando

    This dude, who is supposed to be an intrepid adventurer engaging with the exotic, can’t even be botherd to learn the difference between a burqua and chador. Because all that weird foreign stuff is the same. Ah, Mr Strauss – you can run but you can’t escape the prison of your own tiny mind.

  34. Felicity

    I love my dreams because strangely patriarchy and gender don’t enter them, it’s spiritual and about human experience as opposed to gendered experience. A lot of books hurt to read, so drenched in culture and prejudices. I don’t watch TV… This is my escapism. Maybe my imagination and writing are threatened because I don’t read and come across every day experiences enough through popular TV/ books. But I’m sure the most imaginative people are those who can think without bringing in culture to their writing. So much writing could be great if it didn’t flatter culture and gender roles. The best writing is that which comes from the heart and human experience – those rare moments when the prejudiced reach out to the oppressed on a human level, when thoughts and emotions we all share are more important than thoughts stemming from hatred and prejudice and narrow culture definitions of norms.

    Why a lot of adults like to write about the world through a child’s point of view, it’s the most imaginative and has the most potential because it’s unmarked by culture. This isn’t a new message, that children are ‘clean slates’ and ‘innocence’ over experience… but sadly the dude writers writing about it somehow found it fine to be dismissive and hateful of women. While they abhor society because of its prejudices and recognised the potential for the greatest writing being free of prejudice and hate, they still found a place in their hearts to put the womenz second to men.

    So I create my own writing space free of prejudice, but as a woman stretch this out to imagine women are human experiencing everything humans naturally do. This is how I solve living my normal life. Trying to embrace the human level with people, and see hatred of women as only institutionalised, even if this is in mainsteam media – it’s still an institution. Anything TRYING to make women out inferior separates itself from the reality in trying. I place culture and attempts to undermine women in a box, as they’re just institutions.

    In the long term I hope women see through the dudez! I hope they see the importance of being independent as a woman. I hope marriage fades out with the century it came from.

  35. Maureen

    I buy comfortable shoes. I bitch online. I attempt to chip away at the Patriarchy with my inadequate hammer and chisel, trying to make life somewhat more tolerable for we who are trapped in it and perhaps making it easier for a future generation to escape.

  36. wordsjustfail

    Twisty isn’t saying that we shouldn’t try to change the world or smash patriarchy, but we may have other talents that would flourish if we redistributed some of our time and energy to them. There’s this part in the Second Sex on the independent woman that is especially relevant to this discussion; basically, De Beauvoir argues that there haven’t been as many female writers who write about universal themes because it’s difficult for them to reach out and claim the universe as their own when they are constantly reminded of their second class status. Ignoring patriarchy is one way of fighting it (of course, it depends on who’s doing the ignoring and in what situation) but patriarchy sometimes wastes our energies by forcing us to be constantly conscious of it. We can’t smash patriarchy any more than we can smash capitalism. There is no revolution, no positivist progression, because everything in the past is currently encoded in the present conditions. Okay, I won’t subject you all to the rest of my critical theory rant, but if you want to read a very good argument for why we can’t “get outside” of culture, I suggest the Culture Industry by Adorno and Horkheimer.

  37. Agasaya

    It depends upon what it is you are trying to undermine. Patriarchy is undeniably in charge but capitalism isn’t practiced in the USA. Once corporations were awarded the status of citizenship and the right to know the contents of the products you purchase was denied consumers, it became a form of gangsterism.

    If we alter the law to require full disclosure of product contents as part of the contract between vendor and buyer, consumers can again regulate the marketplace, a la capitalistic philosophy. We choose to offer our money for goods and services which meet our criteria for objects worthy of purchase. Disclosure of faults in products has smashed any number of businesses. On a larger scale, it changes the marketplace as it did in Europe (trickle down felt here).

    Capitalism was undercut by misdirection and the use of a term which had ceased to be used as meant in economic theory. Democracy has also been misused – we are a Republic, a rather patriarchal and supremacist model itself.

    So, that might indicate another look be taken at the concept of committed relationships and marriage (in its civil sense). The forms they take can support or undermine the patriarchy regardless of whether they take place between persons of one or two genders. It might involve marriage or other less formalized union.

    Why recommend people deprive themselves of certain beneficial human experiences in the name of sacrifice? Better to exemplify the actual type of relationship which honors self-sufficiency and interdependence; that equal form of need which draws people together to increase their power and quality of life. It is the subjugation and mandated dependence of women which ensures men don’t have to actually compete for partners or work to keep them via their accomplishments. Sex becomes their ‘right’. Retention of superior status is a matter of economics and a culturally defined form of ‘duty’ among the brainwashed. That is not a relationship but a form of kidnapping.

    There is no such thing as separate but equal. There is only equality or a pretense of it.

  38. liberality

    This post is the reason why I keep coming back here. You can’t read these kinds of ideas anywhere else on the web that I know of. And the comments are just as good and thought provoking too.

  39. Lara

    In the Golestan Shopping Center, women wrapped in burkas shopped for designer jewelry. Though the only skin showing was the front of their faces peering out from beneath black chadors, at least one in twenty of those faces had a bandaged nose from recent plastic surgery. My cab driver later told me that Iran was the world capital of nose jobs, proving that even in a culture like this, a woman’s vanity could not be kept down.

    But of course, no mention by dickhead male author that perhaps a combination of White Supremacist beauty standards and misogyny (which go hand-in-hand) could have anything to do with Iranian or Middle Eastern women’s attempts to make their noses smaller. *snark*

    As far as doing an activity that helps me be with myself, and away from the cultural and mental assaults of the Patriarchy, photography really does the trick for me. I am really in my element when I am taking photographs. Also, eating great food helps too.

    Now, as far as making a difference in our society, in trying to fight Patriarchy, I don’t think dissociating yourself completely from other folks, and from society, helps anyone, really. If we expect to fight systems of oppression we have to work together, as a community. Humans are social beings, and we cannot form our senses of self without connections and relationships with others. Feminism is (or should be) about helping ALL women rise up, not just ourselves or a few individuals. Feminism is about WE, not about ME. So whatever way you can try to help, whether it’s volunteering at a women’s shelter or clinic, speaking out against oppressive legislation, defending an abused or ostracized woman in your family or community, etc. etc., you are helping fight the Patriarchy in some way, even if it at first seems small.

    With regard to the fabulous bug photo, I was going to say that I am happy, as a human, that I don’t “make love” to another human by sticking my butt against the other’s, but then I thought of heterosexual penis-and-vagina sex and now I am not really sure which is worse…

  40. Bushfire

    Twisty, you always sound sarcastic when you talk about your nature posts being heartwarming, but I find they legitimately warm my heart. I’m on sick leave from work right now and I think this post validates my desire to do nothing but paint watercolours until I feel better.


  41. Cottonpants

    A lack of care leads to the suggested patriarchal cure, to wit, “What she needs is a good fuck.” –Sutton

    But, ah, not if you’re fat.

    Having been fat all my life, I have never once feared walking outside alone at night, even when passing men on the sidewalk in deep shadow. In fact, 3-4 AM is when I usually go for walks. The fact is that fat women aren’t considered, in any context, to be either sexual or sexually desirable. The very notion is laughable to most people.

    Honestly, I’m much more likely to be simply shot in the face out of hatred for fat people. Because, if what I’m told is true, the size of my body wholly disgusts all normal people, and by merely stepping outside my house, I am committing an aggressive, hateful attack against innocent eyeballs.

    Life sure is grand.

  42. Jezebella

    Cottonpants, sexual desire has nothing to do with who gets raped. I too am too fat to be hawtt, but that doesn’t make either of us any safer, I’m sorry to say.

  43. Cottonpants

    Hi, Jezebella. I definitely agree that physical attractiveness is not the sole measure of one’s rapeability. It may even be only loosely related. But I just don’t know why anyone would be motivated to rape a big girl. I mean, you can’t exactly brag to your frat buddies about it.

    And, whether or not rape has anything to do with sexual desire, it still remains that it involves sex. And I just think that fat women are so utterly nonsexual in the public mind that even the thought of putting your dick in one (even in an act of violence) probably doesn’t even occur to most men. Or, if it does, it’s probably met with sheer disgust.

    What would be the point of physically asserting your dominance over a fat woman, anyway? Everyone “knows” big girls are bottom-of-the-barrel, below even “normal” women. It’d be like a man raping a dog (a nonsexualized, “lesser” being that is commonly thought to be subservient to humans) to assert his dominance over it. Very few people would do that, I think. For one thing, it’s not exactly socially acceptable, and the raper would have to endure the raping process as well. Instead, said asshole would probably just kick or otherwise harm said dog. Which is why I fear being shot in the head a lot more than I fear being raped.

  44. Lara

    Cottonpants, how or when you feel safe or unsafe is up to you, and that’s how you feel, so I respect that. But I have heard of some articles or websites a year or so ago in which male authors talk about stalking fat or big women on the streets and trying to get these women to have sex with them almost on the spot (i.e.: trying to rape them). The men saw it as a challenge of sorts. :/
    I cannot for the life of me find the article now, but I think I remember the act by men of stalking and aggressively flirting with or attacking fatter or bigger women on the street being called “pigging” or “porking.” Something along those lines. Men rape women because they want control over them, and if fat women typically threaten or disgust men, then men could easily rape or attempt to rape fat women as well. A woman’s conventional sexual attractiveness is just a lousy excuse that men use to justify raping us, when they know in the back of their minds that how a woman looks has practically nothing to do with their behavior towards women.

  45. felicity

    “called “pigging” or “porking”

    Disgusting really..

  46. StillWater

    Wonder how many other women have included weight in their protection scheme. At 215 pounds I’m using it as a security blanket. I’ve been street-harassed while I was in the car a few times and in those situations my size probably didn’t factor into it.

    Weirdly I think most of how I decided to look was based off not looking like a woman on the television or in the movies, ever.

    So far, so good…

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