«

»

May 16 2009

Hugs, Twisty: swinesploitation

Sexy pig stripper spreads its trotters for your dining pleasure. From super-gross White Castle ad (link below).

Sexy pig stripper spreads its trotters for your dining pleasure. From super-gross White Castle ad (link below).

Hi Twisty,

Remembering your post about the SuicideFood blog I thought you might be interested in this super-gross ad, featuring a stripper pig.

Also, I really enjoy your blog!

Melanie

Dear Melanie,

It was extremely thoughtful of you to send in a super-gross ad, for indeed, super-gross ads always interest me, particularly when they’re savage and deathy. And what could be more savage and deathy than an actor in a pig suit doing a porny dance and getting doused with “a come-hither barbecue sauce” to promote a fast food pork sandwich?

This pig so desperately craves to be consumed, it’ll dance for pervy strip club vermin, get’em drunk, and get’em off, too!

In case you missed it, the excellent Suicide Food blog skewers marketing gimmicks, ads, and logos that portray food animals as eager, grateful recipients of that highest honor a human can bestow: their own slaughter.

It is with an icy shiver that I recall the cold sweats I incurred once upon a time at the White Castle on Manchester and Big Bend in Maplewood, Missouri. A stifling hell-hole of boozy despair, that place. There wasn’t any air in there, just a miasma of grease, steam, and PCP. We’d go there at 3 in the morning after some vulgar binge, when we were so blotto we thought nothing of eating rotting garbage. The hamburgers were like lukewarm reconstituted scabs.

Anyway, for its super-gross conflation of pornography, misogyny, antiswine-ism, and fast-foodularity, as well as for the putrescent food fouls it perpetrated upon my drunken person in the early 80′s, White Castle wins today’s Ditwuss Award.

Hugs,
Twisty

25 comments

2 pings

  1. Digger

    “The hamburgers were like lukewarm reconstituted scabs.”

    Yes! This is exactly the description I’ve tried to come up with re: White Castle burgers, but have never been able to articulate. And I wasn’t even drunk.

    The pig porn commercial is just wrong. But I bet they think they’re being cute.

  2. Squiggy

    My very best laughs are reading my beloved Twisty everyday. This one did not disappoint. Your description of White Castle burgers- hilarious for it’s aptness.

    Food as Porn. Double Puke. In “Skinny Bitch” the description of pigs being murdered for people’s pleasure, one of my most haunting, horrifying images in a lifetime of ghastly images of Livin’ La Vida Patriarchy.

  3. Jodie

    I like the new header.

  4. B. Dagger Lee

    Long ago, I used to pass a shoe store with a little stuffed (taxidermy not toy store) alligator in its show window holding up for my inspection a pair of shoes presumably made out of alligator skin.

  5. la sooz

    I know the exact White Castle of which you speak. I think that intersection is haunted. It has always made me uneasy and I never knew why. Somebody burn some sage over there, stat.

  6. Human Bean

    What fucks with me is that I know there’s a room where a bunch of post-grad art and marketing communications people sat around and talked about how Totally Ossum this commercial would be.

  7. Hattie

    That commercial was ungood. I’m not a purist about these things, but how clumsy and stupifying that was.
    If you have not yet killed your television, do it now!

  8. SargassoSea

    And the really fantastic thing is that the whole flipping world is now being run by dudes who find this commercial Oh So Funny.

  9. moodygirl

    Whenever I see crap like that White Castle ad, I remember the good old days of stuff like this:

    http://www.ripetv.com/picks/comedy/snl-flame-broiled/

  10. Shelley

    You STL locals, do any of you seem to remember someone actually lighting himself on fire in the middle of that intersection, maybe twenty years ago? I honestly remember hearing about it, and it would not be surprising, given that place.

  11. speedbudget

    I just read The Pornography of Meat. Suffice it to say, that ad proved Carol Adams’ thesis.

    I am going to make a plaque for my new house, much like the ones that say “The Joneses,” except mine is going to say “Savage Death Island.”

  12. Adam Myerson

    The ad is gross for lots of reasons, but did no one catch that this is a reference to the movie Flashdance? Aspiring dancer, iron-worker by day, stripper by night? Any critique is incomplete without taking that into account!

  13. tinfoil hattie

    Awesome commenter by dude on the youtube site:

    “I mean imagine getting weird stripper juice splashed in your face…and then licking your fingers. The connotation there is…AWESOMELY GROSS!”

    Yes, because strippers spew “weird” juices all over men’s faces and expect them to lick it off! And like it!

    Oh, wait.

  14. rainie

    White Castle burgers, onion chips, cheese stix and chocolate shakes are one of my guilty pleasures. Yes, I understand all that is wrong with them, yet, they occasionally really hit the spot. No, I do not drink alcohol. That ad however is offensive in a variety of ways and makes it less likely that I will eat White Castle food.

  15. Twisty

    “did no one catch that this is a reference to the movie Flashdance? “

    Everyone caught that, which is why nobody mentioned it.

  16. Antoinette Niebieszczanski

    B. Dagger Lee, that’s profoundly upsetting. My mom used to have an alligator purse, complete with paws, claws and head (with teeth and little glass eyes, natch) that gave me nightmares when I was a wee one.

    The Judge and His Wife used to occupy the pew in front of ours at church. She wore one of those hideous fur wraps (even in August) that looked as if the minks were chasing each other around her shoulders. As a kid, I couldn’t figure out why anyone would want to wear such a thing. Come to think on it, I still do.

    And White Castle burgers disturb my digestive tract to such a degree that I can’t even stand the smell of them. Makes me want to heave.

  17. larkspur

    Oh, Antoinette, that made me remember my grandmother’s fur stole with the glittery mink appendages still appended. It was fascinating to me, and I did not have the wit to disapprove, but I could never figure out why someone would want to wear it on purpose.

    When I was a kid, getting a mink coat was a big deal, something that every woman was supposed to dream about, and every man was supposed to acquire for his woman. The cave-people symbolism is obvious, but the imagery was, I think, not as durable as furriers would have assumed. I doubt that “having a mink coat” is high on the list of things the average American (and otherly-nationed) woman thinks is important. Except if you live where it is very very cold, but small mink carcasses would be inefficient.

    Huh. Now I remember playing Barbies with the two little girls next door, Betty and Patty. Their dad was a furrier, and gave them scraps to play with, and from time to time, they would bestow some exotic little bits on their friends.

    Time marches on, but the oppressive patriarchal dominionist hegemony never gets left behind. Savage Death Homeworld.

  18. Antoinette Niebieszczanski

    My dislike wasn’t rooted in morality; the thing just creeped me out. I suppose the fact that I still remember it (I was six at the time) speaks of sick fascination.

  19. larkspur

    Encreepification was my feeling as well. Also, I hated clowns, jack-in-the-boxes, having the closet door open as I went to sleep, and any arrangement of dolls that meant they’d be looking at me when they came alive at the stroke of midnight.

    But I’m straying away from the topic of the post. H1N1 kind of makes more sense. I don’t think swine are terrorists, I’m just saying. And I don’t want anyone to get sick. And yes, I’m going to run like hell on the day that the pigs get organized and break down the pens.

  20. birkwearingblamer

    That commercial is wrong on so many levels!

  21. Lara

    That commerical.

    Why?

  22. Level Best

    The new header is the best thing I’ve seen today.

  23. Katie

    You know someone with way too much confidence thought this was like, the best idea ever, dude.

  24. Cottonpants

    Yes, because strippers spew “weird” juices all over men’s faces and expect them to lick it off! And like it!

    Oh, wait.

    Well said. Thank you for that, Tinfoil Hattie.

    Also, let me just say that I am really glad the “pig” is a gender-ambiguous person in a loose-fitting fursuit and not a chubby young woman in tight pink spandex and a pig nose. The ad is clearly still exploitative and disgusting, but it is kind of morbidly interesting to see where they drew the line between “acceptably sexist” and “unacceptably sexist”. I wonder what that thought process was like.

  25. AileenWuornos

    I’m not sure what made me feel more enraged and disgusted – the ad itself or what it was advertising. Women’s bodies of course are like meat, something to own and consume.

  1. Vegan Rumblings at I Blame The Patriarchy « Stephen C. Rose

    [...] Hugs, Twisty: swinesploitation [...]

  2. V for Vegan: easyVegan.info » Blog Archive » White Castle: Now with edible porcine strippers! (1983 vintage)

    [...] procrastinated. The video has since made its way ’round the interwebs; see, for example, I Blame the Patriarchy and Suicide [...]

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>