The White Zinfandel Scare of the 1980′s produced lingering aftershocks of dumbassness of which I was heretofore unaware. It’s 2009, and men are terrified of rosé wines. So quoth Stingray, reporting from the Spinster Sommelier Department. Apparently, when non-oenophile men and women attend her wine tastings, men eschew the rosé without fail, but women, of course, slurp it up like sponges. Stingray has to talk these chump dudes down from their anti-rosé panic attacks, explaining that pink wine is red wine, and that, although it made her gay, drinking it will probably not make them gay.
Homphobia. Is there anything it can’t explain? Such as the dumbest wine label I’ve seen in a while: Vinum Cellars “It’s OK” Rose. Apparently when people are reassured by hipster marketing that it won’t turn them into pansies, even mediocre rosé flies off the shelves. Vinum is sold out of the 2007 vintage.
It is always wise, Stingray says, to avoid wines with stupid, pronounceable names such as “It’s OK,” “Zen,” or “Kung Fu Girl.”
I say, let the rubes skip the rosé if they want to. Especially if it’s this rosé. Leaves more for me.