Jun 05 2009

Another emergency non-post

Rural Wi-Fi connection still down. The thunderstorm responsible for my involuntary disconnection from the cut-throat world of internet feminism also took out my cistern pump. This means, my young urbanites, that there is nothing to impel the flow of water from the well to the bunkhouse. I discovered this yesterday in the most brutal manner imaginable, when, in the middle of the nice hot shower meant to rinse away the crusty residue of the previous evening’s debauch (the wood-nymphs again; they’re a raunchy bunch), the water left in the pressure tank just ran out. And there I was, a half-soaped aunt, with an appointment in town in less than an hour.

Country life is a continuous adventure, often unrinsed. It is also an antidote to patriarchy poisoning. A lot of readers complain when I wax poetical about the charms of some obscure grasshopper instead of spraying the aerosol whupass on Saudi Arabian misogyny or condemning the actions of lunatics who murder abortion providers, but I tell you: the perceivement of grasshoppers is at least as important as those other things. And not just from some la-la-la eccentric amateur naturalist perspective, either. Grasshoppers — and every other non-human being — once appreciated, are more easily identified as members of the casualty class of human domination culture.

Once I have the internet back, I will enlarge on this connection between feminism and grasshopper appreciation, but probably you already get where I’m going with this.


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  1. INTPagan

    Holy shit, this is win. Patriarchy is a worldview that puts humanity at odds with the planet, and yes, sometimes getting away from humanity does an amazing job of putting that in perspective.

  2. Chris Clarke

    “When you can snatch the patriarchy from my hand, grasshopper, then you will be ready to leave this blog.”

  3. TwissB

    Silly me. Taking this rusticating phase seriously, I naively thought you were out frolicking with Cercyonis pegala, family Nymphalidae, subfamily Satyrinae. They are so deliciously Common.

  4. liberality

    There is definitely a connection and IBTP for it.

  5. Aunti Disestablishmentarian

    Well, grasshoppers and Patriarchy, Saudi and US versions included, smell like shit. While the latter is ripe for an aerosol whup-ass disinfection, whether by our charming host or another spinster (or unspun) aunt strike force, I can’t see this tack taken to cure the stench of our femur fiddling friends in good conscience.

    Stink on, young greenlings, stink on.

  6. Squiggy

    Your message is felt deep and true. Nature and sweet non-patriarchal beings is what get me through the day and through the life. If religion of any kind was a good thing, then nature is the only religion.

  7. larkspur

    Everything is connected. I learned this from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Also? From beneath you it devours. Some translations render it as “it eats you starting with your bottom”. That’s just disturbing, though.

    Furthermore, water is really really good. There is a fire road near me that runs across open space land, where there’s a passel of reservoir-y lakes from which we drink, via faucets, duh, but at several points where the water district folks run wee pumping sub-stations, they also have installed drinking fountains. They didn’t have to do that, but they did, and drinking from one of those fountains on a dry hot afternoon is the best thing ever.

  8. Dead Girl

    Twisty, I’ve not been keeping up on most things for a little while, glad to see you back, unrinsed, and spider posts and all! Woodnymphs eh? ;)

  9. little_sis

    My dogs can fix even the worst of the Horrible No Good Very Bad Days. So can the cat, if she’s in the mood. Hmm cats are sort of like the patriarch of the animal kingdom of suburbia, crushing all in their path for funsies and Because They Can.. Fellow nature-crap loving feminists; keep your cat(s) inside!!!

  10. Foilwoman

    If the following applies to grasshoppers, great; ants and arachnids are species is which the patriarchy really never caught on, so even though arachnids are very annoying eight-legged creepy crawlies, let’s appreciate ant, arachnid and sicariid life forms in all their heartwarming soon-to-be-deceased — at least the arachnids and sicariids (or are arachnids sicariids? I need to look that up) — glory.

  11. Carol

    Will your grasshopper post discuss the patriarchal depiction of grasshoppers as a “plague” when in reality it was the encroachment of Western hegemonial patriarchy on the Native American lands, spewing dead and overworked sunbonnetted women in its wake, that was actually the real plague on 19th century America?

  12. Vibrating_Liz

    I have a theory that in climates where Nature is often hostile and adversarial (e.g., Louisiana or Texas), human domination culture tends to be somewhat stronger than in climates where Nature may be viewed as a benevolent goddess of beauty and abundance (e.g., Berkeley or San Francisco).

  13. Kristen

    It makes me so happy that you have been taking the human domination as patriarchal imperative angle of late. And that your pictures are of non-human animals and never “meat” as they were occasionally back in the day (the only “beef” I have ever had with you). Brava!

  14. BadKitty

    Water is taken for granted up here around the Great Lakes. We are spoiled rotten. Maybe Texans need to learn how to take dust baths like chinchillas?

  15. birkwearingblamer

    Nature is good for your mental health. I’m stuck in the city, where showers and internet connections abound. Today,in my mind, I’m in the mountains, where there are humming birds and chipmunks.

  16. sonia

    Chris Clarke : effing hilarious!

    k, seriously, if I didn’t do things like think about my equivalent of grasshoppers on a regular basis I would be stone crazy-inundated with patriarchal nonsense. I think this is the core of resistance and one of your best points yet, Twi… uh, Jill.

  17. hero

    Ecofeminism will save this planet, if given a chance. If not given a chance we and all the nonP inhabitants will need a, whatayacallit–yeah. Revolution.

    A planet in need of revolution for its survival is a planet that seriously needs to blame the Patriarchy.

  18. Cathy

    This spinster aunt wannabe seconds Kristen. The foie gras banner, back in the day, made me ill.

    Grasshopper was found dead in a hotel room in Thailand yesterday. He was 72.

  19. Laughingrat

    I oughta share this post with the pal of mine who just doesn’t understand why I say that Patriarchy is the oppression not just of women, but of all those who are marginalized. She doesn’t get the connection. Mind you, since she also says there’s no Patriarchy even when I speak strictly about the oppression of women, she might be a lost cause. Alas.

    *hoists wineglass to the perceivement of grasshoppers*

  20. rainie

    Do you keep an emergency jug or two of water on hand? That can be mighty helpful sometimes.

  21. Hedgepig

    Hey, can we lay off criticism of long-past posts please? The auntly one is a bit skittish at the moment and we don’t want to scare her off.

  22. Jude

    And then there are Gwyneth Paltrow’s appendages; I did not (and would not) call them gams or greasy gams, but others all over the internet have been doing so today. Called out for the insanity of normality that it is, at http://thelongestwar.wordpress.com/.

    The longest war, man’s war against womankind, grasshopper. But not the grasshopper Kung Fu guy David Carradine used to name in the TV series before a rope got around his neck too tight this week. I, too, blame the patriarchy … for all of it.

  23. Tigs

    One of the biggest problems in the philosophical leftist tradition is the failure to develop effective and coherent accounts for moments of not-alienation (upon which movements might be built). This results in some pretty tragic intellectual turns, for example in critical theory: Lukacs’s defense (or at minimum failure to reject) of Stalinism, or Adorno’s recurring fragmentation (there is no way to rationally recreate the whole–when we do, we might only be able to re-enact the process that produced such violence in the first place).

    This is the turn that post-modernism (pomo feminism included) took and has produced so much intellectual devastation; for if we are completely constructed subjectivities, then we are unable to find an external discourse and must then merely attempt to pervert such discourses via personal, subversive moments (thus precluding the possibility of a ‘movement’ because these things can only happen within a subjectivity–‘I do it for myself.’).

    I suspect that in a re-insertion of bare human experience (as by Rousseau, or I think comparably by Jill here), there might be communicable moments of ‘less-alienation.’ I think nature often has something to do with these moments, and I think that we can perhaps build some sort of base for resistive communication. I think to avoid the above philosophical mistakes that these moments when we begin to feel like human beings need to be communicated, and that experience needs to be named as specifically as possible, and laid bare as possible to facilitate communication on the matter. Perhaps this sort of call-and-response development of moments of humanity are moments when we can see the edges of the revolution.

  24. B. Dagger Lee

    GO, TIGS, GO!

  25. Jezebella

    Tigs, you almost make me miss grad school. Nicely done.

  26. Mockingbird

    I get where you’re going, and it’s a worthwhile road not often taken. Go! I want to see/hear you go! The patriarchal system, whose basic driver is the either-or win-lose fucked-up thinking, institutionalizes all domination through power as “okay.” And any challenges to that form of thinking are answered with every and any “reason” for why the challenge is silly, stupid, ugly, unreasonable, unnecessary, irrational, unthinkable, not timely, blah-blah-blah, until, if those don’t get the job done, the last “reason” becomes necessary: “god said.” Damn the wi-fi failure. Shit. I’m trying not to start thinking that your inability to connect with us is not just some random act of the chaos that is. After all, keeping the challengers separated is a big-time tactic of those with a win-lose view AND the power!

  27. Felicity

    Poor grasshopper, poor woman, poor every other oppressed creature.

  28. rootlesscosmo

    Another admirer of Tigs’ analysis. Is there a blog or somewhere else we can read your writing?

  29. slythwolf

    I don’t think it’s an accident that it’s usually little boys who are encouraged to pull the legs off grasshoppers, the wings off flies, to incinerate innocent ants with magnifying glasses, to pin all manner of bugs to pieces of cardboard, to trap and shoot and otherwise harass animals from big to small.

    Not that little girls are exempt from the patriarchal conditioning that there are Humans and there is Nature and one of ’em has to win. Little girls, however, are generally encouraged to fear insects (instead of torturing them). Most animals, really. Unless the animal has a predominance of “girly” traits like grace, timidity and cuteness. Then we are encouraged to identify with these animals, and subsequently ridiculed for getting upset when the men kill them.

  30. Felicity

    Tigs, it’s a good sign when commenters here think you are smart or get impressed. It means you’re most likely a genius by normal standards! You get used to general brilliance being the norm. Twisty’s great blog :D

  31. Antoinette Niebieszczanski

    Not my sister, Slythwolf. She used to incinerate ants using matches. Me, I’d put three or four little red ants in a cup with one large black ant to watch them fight. You couldn’t put them in a previously-used cup though, because if it contained sugary-beverage residue the ants would eat instead of fight. It wasn’t so much meanness as it was morbid curiosity. And thankfully, I learned better. Right early.

    As for grasshoppers, we left them strictly alone. They’d spit foul-smelling stuff at you if you messed with ’em.

  32. The Menstruator

    I really expected to come here and see something about the female journalists given 12 years in NK.
    Perhaps some questions as to why our president does nothing. Because he knows nothing? I dunno.
    What I do know is that you know more than him.
    Or any other him for that matter.

  33. larkspur

    It is sad, you are right, The Menstruator. But first of all: Jill the Psmith is dealing with regional problems which have restricted her usual madcap careening through the multiple dimensions of the internetses. (Not that she needs me to explain.)

    Second of all: these 12 year sentences just came down. Give the Obama team a minute or five.

    Third of all: there’s no way in hell we’re going to get a play-by-play, in real-time, of what they may be doing. I hope they are doing enough, and that it will be effective, and that we’ll get these journalists home safe. But this is not a situation in which transparency is indicated. Later, we get to demand to know. But I want our people to do what works, and it might be behind the scenes. I’m crossing my fingers that Obama and Clinton, et al. will do the right thing.

    And fourth of all…OMG, I have to scoot, I’m gonna be late, and oh noes, I just ellipsed.

  34. slade

    Having grown up in the country, I remember the pump being struck by lightning…took the microwave too. But it was covered by insurance. Since we had a well, not cistern, we couldn’t get soaped up, nor flush, nor drink. It was immediately no water.

    I do recommend getting a generator for back-up electricity. In your kind of heat, you may want one that could allow for a small window A/C so you’d have one bedroom cool. I’m heat-allergic…I become a puddle of sweet sweat. Others love it.

    Or do you have geothermal? That’s my dream…so nice and cool in the summer! Got any solar panels on the bunkhouse roof?

    Country life is different…I detest city folk who move to the country and then complain about the deer eating their plants. Willfully ignorant…why not grow something that the deer don’t like to eat?! Or the ones who want peace and quiet now feel they can the loudest parties ever!

    Good luck!

  35. Jezebella

    Hey, Menstruator, this isn’t the news channel. A spinster aunt could blog 24/7 about man’s inhumanity to woman and never catch up. I figure if each blamer has her own blog, and posts something blamey every day, we might manage to publish a tenth of a percentage of the things that need intense scrutiny and blame.

  36. Tigs

    Y’all are sweet. I’ve been muddling around with some anti-alienation, nature, and Marx stuff for a bit, the timing was good!

  37. Dilly

    I was gonna somehow link the subject of this post to another angular insect, the admirable praying mantis, and her radfem mate cannibalization efforts, but dammit, I seem to always have CNN on in my peripheral view when reading this blog and tonight have lost my focus as women seem to have taken over the Larry King program (no Larry in sight, but there is a Joy Behar and some of the Joan Rivers clanswomen). I have no clue as to what they are discussing but the sight has prevented my patriarchy-blaming thoughts from congealing. Twisty, keep up the nature-appreciating and what about rainwater collection?

  38. larkspur

    Dilly, as I recollect, it don’t never ever rain at El Rancho. Except for a month or two ago, and as I hear tell, Twisty ran outside naked and frolicked in the rain with Maypearl, Stanley, Bertie, and a host of other very happy varmints. But I don’t know for sure, since I wasn’t there.

    (Also? Whenever I see Joy Behar’s name, I have a Buffy flashback, to a minor but unfairly maligned episode called “Bad Eggs”, in which Buffy had to slay a giant Bezoar. Ick.)

  39. Squiggy

    One development that’s evolving from the painful absence of our beloved Jill: her devoted followers and sundry apostles relating the holy word and gospel of Jill. We could start a beautiful leather (vegan faux-leather) bound truth book complete with parables, Twisty’s return to Obstreperon, etc. It would prove to be far more edifying and revolutionizing than the P’s version from (roughly) 2009 years ago.

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