Jul 25 2009

Live-blogging not getting off the couch all day

12:14 PM

Spinster aunt stuffs gaping maw

Inevitably there comes a time in every gentleman farmer’s life when heartwarming nature crap wears the her down to a nub, and she is obliged to press the mellow agrarian keister into the lime green recliner, giving Phil strict orders that neither the TV remote nor the laptop nor the medium-sized plastic container of carry-out potato salad from Whole Foods should under any circumstances be pried from her nature-shredded fingers.

Sticklers will note that the lime green recliner has morphed into a white chaise lounge.

12:55 Prurient TV

2 hours of “Tori and Dean” on the Oxygen channel follow up 2 hours of a show called “Snapped,” which chronicles real-life women who absolutely lose it and murder innocent dudes and are sent up the river. Tori and Dean are a big yawn, because they are a straight married couple with kids who obsess about parties and their hip gay male friends. “Snapped” is far more frightening, because its entire schtick is documenting the downward spiral of seemingly normal, educated women from good families who, without any provocation, go off the deep end, get swastika tattoos and flit off on killing sprees.

1:22 PM

Franny, the yella lab puppy, pees on the floor, requiring me to get off the chaise lounge, put on rubber gloves, and discover that the bunkhouse supply of Nature’s Miracle has dropped below critical levels.

1:31 PM

“Steel Magnolias” on TV. Can a spinster aunt withstand the feelgoodness?

1:34 PM

No fucking way. Spinster aunts immediately yak when the first line spoken in a movie is Julia Roberts squalling “Mawmah? Mawmah!”

4:16 PM

Awaken from powernap covered in potato salad. “Forensic Files” on TV. Unlike “Snapped,” this gripping program profiles murderers of dudely persuasion, with quietly urgent voiceover narration by the same guy who narrates conspiracy theory shows. Current episode features a wife-murderer guy trying to get away with the tried-and-true sleepwalking defense, a gambit successfully plied by dudes who rape comotose women (“sexsomnia“).

4:33 PM

Next “Forensic Files” episode features evidence in a woman’s murder, a drawing of the outline of a female figure, with bright red spots where the breasts would be. The red spots are labeled “bite marks.” Exceptional entertainment!

4:42 PM

Spinster aunt reads comment on this post — which comment was prompted, no doubt, by my having revealed the nefarious origins of my potato salad — linking to one of those sites exposing the hypocrisy and other corporate malfeasances of Whole Foods.

We are aware, here at Spinster HQ, that all store-bought food is inherently evil because my sister Tidy called me up yesterday to tell me that she had just seen “Food, Inc,” and that I was crazy to even think about eating a storebought tomato. Before Tidy’s informative phone call, I thought Whole Foods grew all their produce on the roof of their corporate headquarters at 5th and Lamar and paid the laborers $30 an hour.

Sadly, the potato salad crop here at El Rancho Deluxe was killed off by the drought. In fact, everything we planted was killed off by the drought, except a rosemary bush, so I am occasionally obliged, unless I intend to eat boiled rosemary for dinner (garnished with coastal bermuda, perhaps with cactus purée), to purchase certain food items in grocery stores.

5:44 PM

Laptop battery dies, forcing this riveting post to a close.


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  1. Nolabelfits

    First laugh of the day!!! Thanks, Jill. God I love your blog. You even excel at talking about nothing.

  2. Comrade PhysioProf

    Couch surfing kicks fucking ass! w00t!

  3. birkwearingblamer

    Couch potato time! No cool whip?

  4. Mare Island

    I confess I love Shirley Maclaine’s character Ouiser in “Steel Magnolias.” “I do not see plays, because I can nap at home for free. And I don’t see movies ’cause they’re trash, and they got nothin’ but naked people in ’em! And I don’t read books, ’cause if they’re any good, they’re gonna make ’em into a miniseries.”

  5. tata

    How’s the potato salad?

  6. pheeno

    *secretly loves steel magnolias…quiser is my hero*

  7. ambivalent academic

    Enjoy your couch-surfing in all its glory – I will have to enjoy vicariously for alas, I am at work.

    I reckon you’ve already seen this, but in case not: Target Women: Snapped!

    Would people be happier if you got you potato salad from Kroger, in its infinite moral superiority to Whole Foods?

  8. ivyleaves

    My Whole Paycheck store has a huge poster in the elevator advertising Food, Inc. Without that, I wouldn’t even know of the film.

  9. sonia

    I think we all know how it is to choose between polluting your own body and the environment and other people’s lives and women’s situation for $3.99/lb and only the environment and other people’s lives and women’s situation for $7.99/lb.


  10. Mortisha

    Love the tree- what kind is it?

    Winter on my farm at the moment. Not looking forwad to another dry ol summer.

    I have the house grey water hooked up so i can keep the veges & fruit trees alive.

  11. MarianK

    ‘“Snapped” is far more frightening, because its entire schtick is documenting the downward spiral of seemingly normal, educated women from good families who, without any provocation, go off the deep end, get swastika tattoos and flit off on killing sprees.’

    Sorry … I’m not sure which of these is meant to be the frightening part – is it getting swastika tattoos and flitting off on killing sprees or is it being normal, educated, from a good family and living your whole life without any provocation?

  12. humanbein

    After I read “The Omnivore’s Dilemma” I decided to relax. Doing the best you can is so much better than doing nothing that I refuse to beat myself up about it. The young and freshly shocked and the old and angry continue to assume I don’t know what I know only too well, so I continue to protect myself from stress by giving them my agreement without partaking of their urgency.

  13. Orange

    The only ethical thing to do, if one is unable to sustainably grow all of one’s own food, is to starve to death. Obviously.

  14. magriff

    My Nigel gets perturbed when I watch Snapped- he calls it the “how to kill your husband show”. Heh.

  15. Carolyn

    I am so totally planning to have a day like this today. No tv here, but I’ve got plenty of podcasts to space out on the bed listening to while eating chocolate pancakes (even though the fridge is bursting with homegrown lettuce).

  16. Oaktown Girl

    Carolyn – the women who choose homegrown lettuce over chocolate pancakes are probably the kind of women who are featured in “Snapped”.

    I try not to question peoples’ TV veg choices because I occasionally veg out to some pretty vacuous shit myself. But 2 hours of Tori and Dean? Two hours! Inquiring minds want to know what got you sucked in for that long. Is that couple so boring they’re actually fascinating?

  17. Carolyn

    Carolyn – the women who choose homegrown lettuce over chocolate pancakes are probably the kind of women who are featured in “Snapped”.

    Brilliant. As it turned out I had chocolate pancakes this morning but they didn’t come out very well and weren’t that satisfying; I’m now sitting in front of the computer eating homegrown lettuce, after just making tabuli with homegrown mint for later. Sometimes I really DO want to eat something green instead of crap. But getting off my butt and doing something besides making food and listening to podcasts and blogsurfing, well that’s another story.

  18. speedbudget

    “Snapped” is far more frightening, because its entire schtick is documenting the downward spiral of seemingly normal, educated women from good families who, without any provocation, go off the deep end, get swastika tattoos and flit off on killing sprees.

    To be honest, if my husband one day went off and WILLINGLY got a mullet, I would probably kill him too. I think that’s justifiable homicide right there.

    I can’t believe Sarah Haskins did a Snapped episode. That woman is awesome.

  19. Jill

    About the potato salad: somewhat dry, and not enough onions.

    About the tree: it is a live oak, as is every tree at El Rancho Deluxe.

    About mullets: in my haircut cycle — which is that once a year I cut my hair really short and then forget about it until it begins to obstruct my vision, at which point I cut it again — there is always a mullet phase. I look forward to it, since it is the one hair style that persons belonging to my class/cult are forbidden.

  20. incognotter

    Wow. Your yesterday was more productive than mine. Maybe we can find a way to start the feminist revolution from the couch?

  21. Shopstewardess

    Here in the UK we don’t have live oaks. We do have the recently arrived Sudden Oak Death disease. Which may well mean that at some point in the future we have no living oaks either.

    For which you know what I

  22. thebewilderness

    Please forgive me for getting personal in this way, or just toss me to the spam bot. I wish I had had a spam bot for all the peeps who asked me this question over the years.
    Is there reason to be concerned that you are looking so thin? Are you well? Is it just a trick of the camera, perhaps?

  23. pheeno



  24. Nolabelfits

    I noticed that too.

  25. Jill

    My apparently sickly appearance is not due to illness. I guess I’m just naturally sickly-looking. Thanks for noticing!

  26. incognotter


  27. Nolabelfits

    It seems you are naturally thin. I would not have used the word sickly, but its nice to know all is well. Except the potato salad. No store bought potato salad ever has enough onions.

  28. Barn Owl

    The food-related commentariat I receive from friends predates “Food, Inc.”, and coincides with intense reading and wholesale adoption of Barbara Kingsolver’s “Animal, Vegetable, Miracle”.

    Which is an entertaining book, with good “locally, seasonally, organic” advice, but suburban South Texas is not rural Virginia. Nor is it the Bay Area of California, with CSAs, Alice Waters, and a Ferry Building full of foodie shops.

    I have rosemary as well, Jill. I also have basil, two small eggplants, and something called tree spinach, which is poisonous unless you cook it thoroughly. Perhaps we can have a drought feast of local, organic, seasonal, sustainably-harvested homegrown produce.

  29. tinfoil hattie

    Okay, well, my question is MORE IMPORTANT ANYWAY:

    Where did you find your chaise? I’m trying to find a contemp-ish/modern-ish smallish chaise for my tiny 1950s contemp home that is falling down around our ankles. While it crumbles, I plan to watch it from a chaise.

  30. Larkspur

    “…Doing the best you can is so much better than doing nothing that I refuse to beat myself up about it….”

    humanbein, this is a sense-making attitude. Huzzah.

    Jill, I hate to be repeato-girl, but it’s the fine cheekbones that create the drama. You could lose two pounds, and the cheekbones would pop into finer relief, and then OMG she’s skinny. Cheekbones are the infrastructure. I do love some fine high cheekbones. I don’t have ’em, and I wouldn’t pay money and go under the knife to get ’em, but they are awesome.

    I house-sit, and sometimes I plant stuff in pots and then visit them later, the next time I house-sit. My greatest successes have been chives, which are cuisine-friendly, and an amazingly huge thriving golden sage plant, but no one quite ever uses it for eating. My basil experiments have been iffy at best. It’s weird because basil loves to thrive. I’m a little off on some aspect of its propagation. I swear, if I ever get married, which I won’t, I would totally carry a basil bouquet.

  31. Kate Dino

    Starring Scarlett Johansson as Twisty Faster.

  32. Gertrude Strine

    in my haircut cycle — which is that once a year I cut my hair really short and then forget about it until it begins to obstruct my vision, at which point I cut it again — there is always a mullet phase. I look forward to it, since it is the one hair style that persons belonging to my class/cult are forbidden.

    Except that, contrary to the image evidence up there, I give myself the number 4 cut in late spring. Ensures a better airconditioning of the nut in summer and a bit better insulation in winter.
    In my cult a mullet is not notable. However the post-mullet Princess Diana pushed-back fringes that come from getting blow-dried on the bike? I am shunned at the bar whenever I neglect to pack a beanie.

  33. birkwearingblamer

    I went to my local chain haircut joint to get a trim. My hair cutting person had just finished a guy and he was leaving with a 80’s style mullet. I didn’t know whether to run or not. LOL! I decided to take my chances and get a trim, which turned out fine.

    I would like a mullet wig for special occasions, like visiting the Beer Can House or grabbing a beer at the Chicken.

  34. Antoinette Niebieszczanski

    My brother-in-law makes the bestest potato salad ever. He’s also the guy who drinks more rose than I do.

    “Snapped” is my office-mate’s answer to the domestic violence problem — “If your husband hits you, pick your favorite episode of ‘Snapped’ and go with it!” In good conscience, I can’t agree with her, unless a person feels her life is endangered. There’s gotta be a better way.

    Since I got sick of paying $38 for a haircut (plus gratuity), I do it myself. The results have been pretty good, so far. And my criteria are about the same — it’s time to take a scissors to it when I can’t see anymore.

    Our summer has been delightfully cool and dry thus far. Unfortunately, this bodes ill for the tomato and green pepper crop. And the punkins have to be watered as well.

  35. norbizness

    Instead of “mullet,” use something that suggests local flavor, like “Tennessee Top Hat” or “Kentucky Waterfall.”

  36. speedbudget

    birkwearingblamer: Some people actually do specifically choose a mullet. I used to teach, and one of my students came into class so excited because he was going to get his hair cut that day. I asked him if he knew what he was going to have done.

    “I’m going to get a mullet!” he enthused, all smiles and hand clapping. This was a high schooler, by the way. I tried to feign support.

    Class or not, I think mullets are silly. Make a choice and live with it, I say. I mean, I know it’s the oldest known hairstyle, and that give it some cache, but it’s so wishy-washy.

  37. speedbudget

    Oh, I should have said Delaware Cape instead of mullet.

  38. Antoinette Niebieszczanski

    My nephew calls a mullet Business in the Front, Party in the Back. Which makes about as much sense as anything else he says. I don’t know if it’s classist or sexist (I’ll claim personal preference), but I am no fan of long hair on guys. Most of them don’t take proper care of it and start doing stupid things with it like ponytails (ack!) or bandannas.

  39. Larkspur

    When I was in high school, hair could only be long and straight. Mine was, which is how I came to understand that having the right hair guarantees nothing, popularity-wise. But my hair maintenance routine was certainly less painful than it was for many of my classmates who, within a few years, would be happily tossing their wild, beautiful Jewish ‘fros as they scampered around campus. But for high school: they ironed their hair, or wound it around empty concentrated orange juice cans, and never got it the exact way they wanted it. Or if they did, we’d get a mid-western afternoon thunderstorm, and everything would come undone.

    Meanwhile, as I prepared for bed last evening, doing the final walk-through before taking the spaniel with me to the guest house: OMG, scorpion! On the stone kitchen floor! To whom the spaniel wanted to say howdy. I did not let him, but scooped up the scorpion with a paper towel and sent him to a quick but horrible death in the insinkerator, followed by a small wedge of lemon.

    I cannot believe that once again I panicked and did not preserve the evidence. Now I doubt myself. Maybe it was a Trader Joe’s extra huge tail-on prawn, re-animated from the freezer, with mutant pincers and other attachments. Or maybe it was one of those old-fashioned, off-the-market copper IUDs, all growed up and looking for payback.

    See: my brain needs me to preserve the damn evidence.

  40. Medbh

    I was looking at the potato salad in Whole Foods a few days ago.
    It had eggs and chopped pickles in it so I put it back.
    That’s just crazy.

  41. Linda Atkins

    I scanned that Whole Foods page and am especially dismayed to learn about their fierceless devotion to profit. Honestly, if they’re going to be devoted to profit, they should just go ahead and do it fiercely. Whole Foods has always struck me as being too good to be true–ALL of this stuff has been produced in ways friendly to people and the earth? But I mainly hate Whole Foods, at least the one nearest to me, which I visit upon rare occasion, because the majority of the employees exude a frenzied hostility that is unpleasant to be around.

  42. Linda Atkins

    Ah, maybe “hostility” is too strong. They are in a frenzy, period, and in a major rush at all times, as in, “I don’t give a crap if I knock you right down! Just get the hell out of the way! What are you doing in here, anyway? Oh, don’t forget to drop your entire wallet in the receptacle by the door on your way out.”

  43. norbizness

    In Austin, they built a giant block-sized Whole Foods catty-corner to Waterloo Records, insuring that I will hit me at least 4-5 yuppies and/or a tricked-out Volkswagen Touareg while zooming over to pick up the latest remastered Emerson, Lake and Palmer live concert Danish import CD.

  44. nails

    That whole foods website does not seem very accurate and doesn’t give people any way to verify what is said. The thing about the wages being too low for their workers is absolutely not true, the people I know who worked there got paid more than they would at a regular chain grocery store. So many other grocery stores hire people for 18 hours a week to prevent them from getting benefits as well and seriously understaff, and in my experience WF does not do that. My sister has worked at that company for quite awhile and has worked at multiple locations, gotten promoted, and shifted departments. She describes it as “progressive, not radical” (this is post women’s studies degree). So it isn’t the best place in the world but it isn’t awful either.

    Some of the other claims up there are just crazy. There is one line that says they sell food that sickens people, and it is evidenced by one woman having a high mercury level after eating the fish. If one sick customer is all it takes for a company to be labeled in such a way then every company ever is guilty. This is akin to blaming individual stores for the salmonella peanut problem when they had nothing to do with the production of the product or the safety testing. I can’t think of a food safety measure that would protect everyone one hundred percent of the time anyway. It is just an unfair accusation.

    The absolute worst thing that Whole Foods does is to sell and promote the use of homeopathic “medicine” and other stuff that does not work in a pseudo drug store fashion with non qualified college kids giving out medical advice about what supplements to take. Why isn’t that on the list? People can seriously hurt themselves by taking this stuff instead of actual medicines. Most of the people buying this stuff don’t even know what the theory behind homeopathy is (the more you dilute a substance the more effective it is). Uninformed consumers buying products for actual health problems without any benefit outside of the placebo effect. It is hard to get more evil than that.

  45. nails

    I forgot to talk about “Snapped”. When dudes snap it is called a crime of passion and he isn’t deemed crazy or defective for it. I read a bunch of information about how female anger is looked at as hysterical and a personality defect even when it is justified and that guys are seen as angry for a good reason by default. It is crazy that women are seen as less responsible for those kinds of crimes but are still seen as guiltier somehow.

    I watched Delores Clayborne yesterday. That is a much better portrait of women “snapping” when they aren’t afforded the same level of humanity as the dudes.

  46. Sarah

    I spent my Sunday cutting kosher hotdogs into octopi; then fell in the shower while attempting to clean it. The subsequent head bonkage I received forced me to take to my bed with painkillers and doze in and out of what seemed like several hundred episodes of “Law & Order: Criminal Intent” (my favorite flavor of the L&O rainbow) for the remainder of the afternoon/evening.

    In retrospect, sleeping after a head injury is probably not the best idea ever, but I seem to be mostly recovered today.

  47. Hattie

    Whole Foods potato salad? Too much salt, girl.

  48. wiggles

    I’ve found Whole Foods’ potato salad not tacky enough for my unrefined tastes. For some reason I tend to prefer the sloppy, vinegary stuff from Safeway or Albertson’s. Maybe it’s the preservatives and dyes that do it for me – I don’t know.

    @nails re Delores Clayborne – also see The Burning Bed, if you can find a copy anywhere.

  49. yttik

    “…the downward spiral of seemingly normal, educated women from good families who, without any provocation, go off the deep end…”

    I started keeping a list several years ago. If I ever snap, I have a well documented file. I don’t anyone to think I went over the bend without provocation.


  50. Hedgepig

    Larkspur, loved your whimsical musings on scorpion encounter…or was it?? Also, re long straight hair not resulting in popularity: I discovered something similar about being thin very early on. I could draw all kinds of patriarchy-blaming conclusions about this but I’ve not yet been caffinated this morning.

  51. Larkspur

    Hedgepig, I’m pretty sure it was a scorpion, but I have a long painful history of not trusting my perceptions. One superficial example: way back in the olden days of my grade school, when (a) girls were required to wear skirts or dresses (and we had to kneel down to make sure the hems touched the floor) and (b) we all walked home at midday for lunch because of course everyone’s mom was gonna be there, keeping house and raising us, well: one glorious spring Friday, before we were sent home for lunch, we girls were told we could change and return to school in shorts, OMG!

    Readers, I made my teacher write me a note explaining that, so I could take it home as evidence. I’m sure she thought my mom was mean, but in truth, I needed her to write it because I knew that once I got home, I wouldn’t be sure that we’d really gotten permission for shorts, and I’d be paralyzed with indecision, and would have ended up going back in my dress, just to be safe.

    I have a wee brain impediment. But I love dogs, and I shower often, so no one should be afraid of me or nothin.

    Also, the thin thing, I get. I got really tall really early, and I was teased. But a lot of that is just the process of childhood, the hazing, the fear, and the laborious development of an actual sense of empathy.

  52. Squiggy

    The straightened hair, the thinness- but not too thin, the withered Patriarchal carrot dangled a few inches from our noses. All designed to distract us from the cold hard fact that nothing, no thing or no collection of things can make a woman acceptable to the Patriarchy. Men hate us.

  53. Felicity

    Yapp. Men only like tools of the patriarchy as far as they can throw them to voice their own sexism.

    @ Snapped. Why so much TV for/ on women sucks and more feminist TV (God Forbid!) should be on. Surprisingly women are attracted to things designed for them if it has a ‘females are human’ backdrop, like the Sarah Haskins show. TV and channels actually permitted for us, carefully inform what we are (as an alien subsex). How annoying that we just know Sarah Haskins will never be allowed to be big because she doesn’t present her own sex as aliens. IBTP

  54. jemma


    There is no such thing as “too much salt.”

    Why the very idea!

  55. speedbudget

    Sarah: You most certainly should not have been sleeping. Or if you were, someone should have been waking you every hour or so to make sure you were still coherent.

    I hope you’re still okay.

    Larkspur: I have the same sort of problem. I’m not maybe as obsessive about it, but I do have a problem with questioning my perceptions and my memories of circumstances. I wonder how much is impediment and how much is Patriarchy?

  56. birkwearingblamer

    Sarah, I read your first sentence and thought what is she doing cutting hot dogs in the shower? Anyhoo, glad that you’re better now.

  57. jrav

    No store-bought potato salad here. Ick. I prefer homemade, lots of mustard. I worked from home today, staying in pjs all day, which was nice. I watched my newest obsession, The Tudors. On occasion, I ate. I felt much the same way – don’t remove remotes, laptop, dog, or Enviga soda from within reach. It was quite nice until I needed to grade midterms. Grades reflect that my students are either not very bright, barely listening, or texting throughout class.

  58. arfeuse

    @yttik: excellent idea! I’ll start keeping my file right now. I shall label it “the hothead paisan files”.
    Mmmm- It must have been a worldwide sofa day yesterday. I was dressed but spent the whole day with El Dog on my lap, watching lame sitcoms and surfing sewing patterns suitable for polka dot double georgette. Couldn’t decide between fun and cute or business boring. If only I’d had some potato salad to help me decide.
    Keep on blaming.

  59. Laughingrat

    Larkspur: I have the same sort of problem. I’m not maybe as obsessive about it, but I do have a problem with questioning my perceptions and my memories of circumstances. I wonder how much is impediment and how much is Patriarchy?

    Nothing to add, I suppose, except that Larkspur’s story really resonated with me, and I think your last sentence there is pretty important/interesting. One of the functions of oppression is to confuse the oppressed into thinking that nothing happened, or if it did, it was the oppressed’s fault to begin with.

  60. larkspur

    Laughingrat, speedbudget, it all ties in with a very young child’s sense of omnipotent responsibility. Young children believe – they kinda have to believe – that it’s all about them, because there’s so little in their lives that they can actually control, plus they can’t just make a get-away, because their little legs are too short to reach the accelerator.

    So to the extent that you don’t pass through that phase in a more or less healthy, timely manner, wackiness will ensue. Step on a crack, break your mother’s back. This is gonna kill your father. How can you even think such a thing.

    A friend of mine grew up with a monumentally over-protective mom. If there was even the hint of a rain forecast, she’d make him put on his rubber overshoes before he scampered off to school. He couldn’t refuse (for quite a long time) but he had the psychological wherewithal to get around the corner, out of her sight, and then take the damn things off.

    I wouldn’t have been able to do that. I was absolutely certain that I could, and regularly did, cause my parents pain by doing something like that. What’s worse is that I deduced that even thinking about wanting to take off the overshoes was disloyal and very very bad. I learned not to ask for stuff, because children are just voracious consumers who want to bleed their parents dry and then ask for more. And I also tried to not want the stuff I couldn’t ask them for.

    Lucky for everyone that I wasn’t a psychopath, or I would have turned out like Anthony and eventually I’d have put everyone in the cornfield.

  61. Laughingrat

    Whoa. Larkspur, I was nodding along the whole time. Won’t go into the details, but the end result–the brainwashing–is awful familiar, no pun intended.

    The older I get, the more I connect oppressive behavior towards women with oppressive behavior towards, well, everyone. Including and especially kids. So for the stuff we’re talking about, IBTP.

  62. Hedgepig

    larkspur, wow, I was like that too. That is, stricken by fear of disloyalty and causing pain to my mother by doing things she disapproved of. Even if in actual fact it caused me a hell of a lot more pain to remain loyal than it could possibly have caused her if I’d just waived a few of the more neurotic commandments while trying to get along with the peer group.
    My pathological obedience even caused me to fail to do what I have since read comes effortlessly naturally to children: being able to speak with one accent at home and another accent at school. I continued to speak with the prim, refined little voice my mother insisted on while my country schoolmates drawled and twanged around me, because Mummy would have been so upset if I’d betrayed her teachings. I know I’m basing this on my own experience and many will disagree, but I believe the ‘wrong’ voice will mark you as an outcast more than any other aspect of your person. Even if you look different, if you can speak like a native you’ll find a niche with them.
    Apparently it’s the height of normality for children to toggle between different voices and behaviours depending on the environment they’re in, usually home and school. But how do they do it without intense guilt?

  63. Narya

    Not just the wrong voice, it turns out: using words that are “too big” will alienate your classmates as well.

  64. Shelby

    “Radio shock jock, Kyle Sandilands, asks 14 year old girl who has just revealed that she was raped two years earlier, and who is hooked up to a lie detector machine, whether, apart from being raped, has she had any other sexual experiences.”

    Read a link here:


  65. Shelby

    OK so the link doesn’t work. I’m no good at this technology stuff. Just google “Kyle Sandilands Australia rape” or something like that if you be intrested.


  66. Spiders

    Just chiming in there with Shelby, you can read about Sandilands and his on-air interrogation of a child rape victim, at my place, and I realise this is occuring Outside Of America but if anyone cares to join the campaign it would be very much appreciated.
    I’d love to see this douchebag taken off the air once and for all.

  67. Helen

    Shelby, Glad to oblige.

    For those who are new to this furore, see also.

    I’ll also be glad to take questions on obscure Australian slang, such as drongo.

    Extremely blameworthy

  68. speedbudget

    Radio shock jock, Kyle Sandilands, asks 14 year old girl who has just revealed that she was raped two years earlier, and who is hooked up to a lie detector machine, whether, apart from being raped, has she had any other sexual experiences.

    Because sex is always rape to these guys.

  69. Comrade PhysioProf

    Jill, have you fallen between the cushions?

  70. Spiders

    Thanks Helen!

  71. Hedgepig

    speedbudget, I get what you’re saying, but I reckon it’s more that rape is sex to these guys. I’m shaking from listening to this abuse of this girl.

  72. speedbudget

    Hedgepig: You’re right. I said it kind of backwards, but you’re right. I didn’t even listen to that. I knew it would be a bad idea for me. I don’t know where they even come off asking a fourteen-year-old anything about her sex life to begin with, and what the hell was her mom thinking?

  73. lysistrata

    @speedbudget: Also, what was her dad thinking?, if there is one, and IBTP anyway for selling out kids. I refuse to search and find out if the parents were cashing in on the ‘exclusive interview’ to trash media.

  74. Spiders

    It wasn’t an interview type situation. This is a regular segment on 2dayFM. People go in to the studio and get hooked up to the polygraph and answer questions on air like “Have you ever cheated on your partner?”. This is apparently entertainment for some people.
    So this woman arranged to take her daughter in just for a laugh and the daughter who clearly didn’t think she had been given a choice, disclosed the rape live on air, after which the host just decided to push ahead with the segment. Appalling case of child abuse.

    I’m happy to hear that this guy might be dumped from his job as a host on Aus Idol.

  75. lauredhel

    It looks like public pressure may have actually achieved something. The Kyle and Jackie O Show has been suspended (there’s as yet no apology from either presenters or producers), and it looks like Sandilands may be dropped from the about-to-start season of Australian Idol also.

  76. speedbudget

    lys: I asked about the mom only because she was there with the daughter. I would have said the same about the dad had he been the one with her. I would have given those guys holy hell for even thinking that a barely pubescent girl’s sex life is fodder for talk at all, much less on a national talk show.

  77. Spiders

    I’m happy to say that the fucknozzle in question has been suspended for now!

    Speed, it pains me to say this but the mum took the child there with the very intention of allowing her to be grilled over her “difficult” behaviour, specifically drug use, missing school and sex.

  78. incognotter

    I swear folks should have a license to parent except I cannot imagine trusting the state with that decision. Can you imagine what asses the dudetheocorporatocracy would hold up as the ideal of parenting? Urk.

  79. larkspur

    Thanks to those of you who provided a summary of the radio situation, thus allowing me to not click on the link, and thereby postponing my inevitable head explosion. Best wishes to this unfortunate girl.

    Meanwhile, just to remind us that vulvas aren’t automatically a locus of all that is nasty (either by those who hate and fear female parts, or by those who hate and fear female parts and abuse them), Jill: how is Franny’s innocent but somewhat unusual vulva? Also, is Bert all recovered from being porcupined? No flashbacks, I hope.

  80. Cathy

    After hearing the “interview,” which was clearly child abuse (she was there against her will), it occurred to me that the fuckwad was demonstrating to the girl exactly what will happen to her if she ever accuses a man of rape: She will be grilled about “other sexual experiences” in order for the defense to claim she really is just a slut who wanted it and therefore the man must be innocent. Her feelings will be of concern to no one.

    The mother was really sick to put her child through that, and she lied when they asked her whether her daughter had told her about having sex. I wish we could take the girl away to Savage Death Island, full of spinster aunts to undo the damage.

    I’ll never understand why some people find that crap and reality shows entertaining. It’s like the boy entertained by the suffering of the mouse being bitten by the centipede. Pure schadenfreude.

  81. Spiders

    You’re so right, Cathy, about how Sandilands’ response reflects society’s response to rape victims. Still, I’m trying not to focus on the mum too much, given that she too was socialised into accepting rape culture, like we all are, plus the fact that there is already a long queue of people ready to blame her over Sandilands.

  82. speedbudget

    spiders & incognotter: Do you suppose she was watching Maury Povic and decided some “tough love” was in the cards? I swear, the way they parse a thirteen-year-old’s sexual behavior on that show is positively disgusting.

    I’ve never seen a talk show about the sex lives of all the boys and men who are sleeping with these sluttyMcSlutsluts. Of course not. It’s okay to sleep around as a guy. I always wondered if the patriarchy would prefer if there were only five or ten women they were allowed to sleep with over and over again in order to get their “stud” creds. But then, who wants Sloppy Seconds? Need that fresh pootang, and if it means that the girl/woman attached becomes untouchable by your own standards, so be it.

    What a weird, sick world. And I think Cathy hit the nail on the head. At least the girl will have practiced that humiliated feeling and might be more calm in future being grilled about totally irrelevant sexual details just to titillate the judge and make the jury feel superior.

  83. Spiders

    Speed, I think Cathy’s take was totally on the money, but my last post is stuck in the mod queue for some reason.

  84. Spiders

    Awesome post here at Fugitivus:


  85. Sheanight

    Hm, maybe I’m into sickly looking women j/k, cause I was thinking how well you looked in that pic Jill. You really look good imo.

    Take care and keep kickin’ ass!!

  1. I wish I said that #2 « the news with nipples

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