CNN has a “Health for Her” segment. “Health for Her” is represented by one of those Venus female symbols in the background, to differentiate it from regular health.
Today’s women’s health segment isn’t about boring old breast cancer or vaginas or about how generally unhealthy it is to be female on this planet, though. It’s about high heels.
Women sure love shoes, says CNN.
CNN reveal no secrets when they aver that, according to their women’s experts, “most” women — by which is always meant heterosexual Western women — buy shoes for style (by which is meant “pornulation”) rather than for comfort (by which is meant “humorless hairy ugly unfuckable”). Strippers, for example, or Beauty2K-Compliant women in the media, don’t wear Clark’s Comfort Walkers. Lady detectives on TV cop shows don’t chase down perps in Uggs.
But newsflash! High heels can cause health problems, warns CNN. The report claims that “most” women have no idea that their foot pain, bunions, broken ankles, osteoarthritis, and back aches are related to their sexay Manolos. Women are just that dumb. CNN, though, they got women’s backs. They interview one of the dumb women, for the edification of all.
“They hurt, but I wear’em anyway,” says the interviewee, chuckling at the hilarity inherent in her personal pain and disfigurement.
I am the only honky alive who thinks a human foot looks really fucking asinine stuffed into a pointy-toed shoe with a 5-inch stiletto heel.