The message today is twofold. First, the Telegraph is full of fail, no matter the subject it tackles. Second, the photo demonstrates the ubiquity of the response to the lowly serpent, be it by a Chinese or Texan (Chief Blamer excluded, of course), that being to bludgeon the creature to death.

That looks like Dinodon rufozonatum, an English common name being red-banded snake, although we may presume that Mrs. Dean Qiongxiu didn’t refer to it by either of those names. It’s a rear-fanged species, harmless to humans; its venom helps subdue its amphibian and reptile prey.

That large bulge at midbody is its final meal. The “mutation” is a leg of the animal it ate, probably a toad or frog, which ruptured its intestine and continued all the way through the body wall.

AHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Thank you for that. You just made my whole day. I am wiping the tears from my eyes. A good pun just makes everything better. Why yes, I am a total nerd, why do you ask?

@speedbudget: “tuna” = fruit of prickly pear en Espanol

Snake expert Long Shuai said: “It is truly shocking but we won’t know the cause until we’ve conducted an autopsy.”

Also, snake expert Long Shuai should know that an autopsy performed on a snake, mutant or not, is called a “necropsy.” That’s because snakes are just one long neck.

What with your Vagina being your Vulva and all.

I have been so confused. LOL

A flamethrower to get the needles off? Now there’s a real idea!

There’s also the related dragonfruit or pitaya that looks like it’s a giant tuna on a mutant paddle but is actually a lot less thrilling. Still, the red variety makes for great hot-purple smoothies. No spines on that one, thankfully.

Or a blowtorch (the one you use for crème brulée, peut-être?) to burn’em off. Sorry, I neglected to mention the dangerous needles in the old post to which I linked.

Running water is now a faint possibility here in the Hill Country, thanks to four days of scattered showers, although sadly, the absence of same for the previous gazillion-and-a-half weeks has occasioned the result that none of the opuntia are fruiting this year.