«

»

Oct 27 2009

Hugs, Twisty: moderated dude yearns to be heard on feminist blog

You know what sucks about the Internet? When Internet feminists don’t stop what they are doing right now and answer your question.

Alessandro Machi
dailypuma.com
Submitted on 2009/10/16 at 10:01pm on post Ways In Which The Internet Sucks

Ok, this is probably a stupid question, but please answer, anybody.

I’m assuming she has had breast augmentation. That is what I find controversial about the pic. Showing off an asset that not every woman can afford to purchase, nor wants to purchase, nor wants to be reminded of, that was not really earned but simply purchased with daddy’s money (who by the way apparently gets an interest free credit card account with AMEX), is tacky.

Bravado over a cosmetic procedure seems tacky no matter where on the body it occurs. Imagine a man showing off his washboard abs that he had surgically augmented. It would be kind of creepy, no?

So, if they are hers, and have not been augmented in any way, then it is what it is, whatever that is, but if they’ve been surgically augumented, then I put it in the tacky category.

Alessandro Machi
dailypuma.com
Submitted on 2009/10/16 at 11:39pm

Did my comment/question get deleted?
Did my comment/question get deleted?

Alessandro Machi
dailypuma.com
Submitted on 2009/10/16 at 11:42pm

yes, sonia, we wouldn’t want you to discuss anything that is not first approved of by the moderator.

This is freaky. Did the mod actually delete my question?

Alessandro Machi
dailypuma.com
Submitted on 2009/10/16 at 11:44pm

So instead of being able to post here and get feedback, I’ll instead have to delete your blog from DailyPUMA since you can’t let other’s share your forum, and have to do my article on it. This is pathetic. Rather than just ask a question here and not make a big deal about, I’ll instead only get feedback by posting on my own blog. If I’m being auto deleted everytime I post that is pathetic.

Alessandro Machi
dailypuma.com
Submitted on 2009/10/16 at 11:50pm

lol, you can add autodeleting someone’s comments without even knowing what they are. Usually putting links in a comment can result in the comment being put into hold onto the moderator sees it, but here I have not included any links. I am occasionally surprised at blogs that don’t seem to welcome new viewpoints. I emailed you, hopefully you can clear this up.

[email]
Alessandro Machi to me
Oct 17 (10 days ago)

Please let me know, I see my comment up for one brief moment as it was posted, then it just disappears. Is that an autofunction of your blog or something more sinister?

-Alessandro Machi

Dear Mr Machi,

Great news! You can breathe a sigh of relief! True, I ignored you for 10 days, but this egregious injustice is now corrected! I did not delete your “question”! In fact, I saved it, and your entire oeuvre, to share with the whole Blametariat! They are always so eager to welcome a dude’s “new viewpoints” on celebrity breast augmentation!

Unfortunately, responding to the question you are so anxious to have answered presents some difficulty. In your zeal to accuse Meghan McCain of having had a boob job, to pronounce this “tacky,” and to make assumptions about her character based on her father’s credit arrangements, you appear to have neglected to actually ask anything.

No, wait. Now I see it:

“Imagine a man showing off his washboard abs that he had surgically augmented. It would be kind of creepy, no?”

No wonder you are so persistent; your question is of vital importance. Like so many who have preceded you, you appeal to a heartwarming radical death islandist to seek validation for your opinion on the creepiness of imagining men with surgically enhanced washboard abs.

Furthermore, you intimate that, should I omit to give you the consideration you crave in this urgent matter of imagining washboard abs, it is your intention to exact revenge by removing my URL from your website.

In response, I can only tell you what I tell all the washboard- ab-imagining dudes who threaten me with asinine shit:

God your so handsome and exciting. So suave. So classy. A man of action yet Sensitive and Sophisticated. i can only imagine what a Turn-on it is when you show off your washboard abs. Where have you been all my life. Baby baby. Do you have a webcam. Here’s my number. Take me now.

Hugs,
Twisty

* * * * * * * *

Fun fact: one of Mr Machi’s many, many websites, ShareAmillion.com, proposes that someone (“candidates include sports celebrities or the wall street fund managers that make incredible amounts of millions on yearly basis” [sic]) should give him a million bucks, interest-free. He promises to give it back in five years. Meanwhile, he’ll use the money to fight “credit card battles” and pay his “monthly debts.” Quoth Machi, “I am an unpaid watchdog for the consumer when it comes to credit card company practices and procedures. In the future, I desire to figure out a way to become a paid credit card watchdog for the consumer.”

Ah, free money. Live the dream, bra.

59 comments

  1. pheenobarbidoll

    *nose laughs*

  2. ambivalent academic

    This paragraph has me stifling giggles:

    “God your so handsome and exciting. So suave. So classy. A man of action yet Sensitive and Sophisticated. i can only imagine what a Turn-on it is when you show off your washboard abs. Where have you been all my life. Baby baby. Do you have a webcam. Here’s my number. Take me now.”

    Mostly because it would just make me roll my eyes if it were uttered by anyone other than Jill.

    The “your” = “you’re” is a particularly nice touch. I do hope that poor Alessandro appreciates how difficult it must have been for her to type that drivel. Just for him!! Since he was so solicitous and deserving and persistent!

  3. EM

    Long time listener, first time caller.

    This post is brilliance.

  4. Laughingrat

    Now see, *that* is what a comment actually attacking Ms. McCain for having a visible bosom looks like. Also, I wonder if Mr. Machi realizes that there is nothing “new” about his d00dly viewpoint. No, well, he probably doesn’t.

    It’s right nice that Jill’s blog kinda self-moderates for these sorts of things. Thanks, Jill!

  5. yttik

    There used to be a section on a blog I visited called pinatas. It was for comments you just wanted to whack with a stick a few times to see if any candy fell out.

  6. Jokerine

    Hahaha! This is almost too funny. Also the pseudo-respectful augmentation instead of surgery.

  7. Kelly

    I am occasionally surprised at blogs that don’t seem to welcome new viewpoints.

    I’m never surprised at the dude flavored hubris that underlies the assumption that your viewpoint represents anything “new”.

  8. Dr. Beads

    He wishes he had surgically augmented abs. Quick, someone lend him a million bucks.

  9. Saurs

    Particularly enlightening, refreshing, and heretofore never uttered or committed to print is the generous appraisal of breasts as “assets” which are “earned,” not purchased, boo hiss. Question for Dudebra: if I eat a lot, thereby gaining more bulk around my chestal region, are you going to scorn me for being overweight, or will you heap lauds upon me for guilelessly earning bigger titties, the only asset, as a woman, I am allowed to flaunt freely (provided I keep them enclosed in the patriarchy-approved boobie-wrangler known as the brassiere)? ‘Cos I’m sensing some mixed messages here, dude.

  10. Felicity

    It actually hurts. Can you imagine any blamer writing this on here? Even in a bad dream?

  11. agasaya

    Actually, these obvious idiocies are comforting because everyone can recognize them for what they represent. It is the earnestly confused guys like “A” on the ‘internet’ thread which are most problematic. That is true cluelessness seen in the majority of educated dudes who can pass for ‘enlightened’ with less informed women.

    Is there a decent blog out there by men, for men on patriarchy?

  12. wiggles

    Also, I wonder if Mr. Machi realizes that there is nothing “new” about his d00dly viewpoint. No, well, he probably doesn’t.

    They never seem to, do they.

  13. Citizen Jane

    When commenters get an entire post dedicated to making fun of them, how often do they come back to make fools of themselves all over again? Do their comments get allowed through if they do? I’m so curious.

  14. Meg

    “…I’ll instead have to delete your blog from DailyPUMA since you can’t let other’s share your forum, and have to do my article on it…”

    Oh, no, Twisty! Not your blogroll spot on … THE DAILY PUMA! This is a crisis situation!!! Where will you get traffic from NOW?! Being removed from the Daily Puma is only a step away from being removed from Google, did you know? Not only that, but he’s going to tell all five of his readers about how nastymean you are. :(

    Is it tacky for me to “show off” the old scar on my forehead? Most people, globally, probably can’t afford to get stitches when they crack their skulls open. Actually if we’re talking about any asset that most women can’t afford, and by “show off” we mean “not hide under a veil of shame”, then it’s tacky for me to drive my car, carry around my comp sci texts, and own a house. So to avoid being tacky, women should not own any property, not drive cars, not go to college, and only leave the house wearing shapeless clothes that completely cover the face and body. Hmm, sounds familiar.

  15. Jill

    Citizen Jane, I haven’t kept statistics, but if memory serves, they don’t often resurface except occasionally, when they inform me that my failure to be nice to them has doomed feminism forever. I’ve had two or three threaten to have me booted off my ISP, though, and one dude hoped that I would die of cancer real soon.

    I can’t understand it! It’s all in good fun! They should just lighten up! Humorless hairy dudes just don’t appreciate comedy!

  16. Citizen Jane

    Thank you for satisfying my curiosity and thank you also for turning the “feminists have no sense of humour” tactic back on itself.

  17. Shelby

    Just had a little peek-a-boo at his “lend” me $1million site. He seeks to avenge the corrupt with the interest earned on this amount, but ironically it is probably only the corrupt who could afford to give him that kinda money in the first place. Alessandro is trying to network. Alessandro is clearly loop the fucking loop.

  18. AoT

    When commenters get an entire post dedicated to making fun of them, how often do they come back to make fools of themselves all over again? Do their comments get allowed through if they do? I’m so curious.

    At least one of us, myself, has.

  19. Notorious Ph.D.

    I have a nephew who used to engage in the same sort of attention-demanding behavior as Mr. Machi displays here. But now that he (my nephew, that is) has turned six, he’s settled down a bit.

  20. slythwolf

    God your so handsome and exciting. So suave. So classy. A man of action yet Sensitive and Sophisticated. i can only imagine what a Turn-on it is when you show off your washboard abs. Where have you been all my life. Baby baby. Do you have a webcam. Here’s my number. Take me now.

    I am going to die laughing, but before I do I’ve gotta make a will so I can have somebody put this on my tombstone and take everyone else with me.

  21. Nora

    “It was for comments you just wanted to whack with a stick a few times to see if any candy fell out.”

    And this one is chock full of circus peanuts, stale baby ruth bars, and saltwater taffy that has been in the car for a week. In the sun.

  22. angie

    Great post Jill. You are a better woman than I.

    Of all the ridiculous stones Allessandro was throwing to besmirch Meghan, the interest free Amex card was the most confusing. I’ve got an interest free Amex card myself, for pity’s sake. And if I can get one I’m sure a US Senator can too.

  23. Comrade PhysioProf

    Douchebag commenters who write entire posts for you are teh awsum!

  24. humanbein

    agasaya asked “Is there a decent blog out there by men, for men on patriarchy?”

    You haven’t really ever read about the patriarchy until you’ve read “Don’t Call Me Male, Man!” the super-popular blog for dudes who just can’t get enough feminist talk. It’s right up there with “Disrobing In Public Empowerfulizes My Girlfriend!” the blog that gives a real mens perspective on how hawt feminism is. My favorite is “Andrea Dworkin Added Inches to My Penis” which features day by day measurements and a reading regimen for the ill-equipped. Happy reading! Tell your Nigel.

  25. Ron Sullivan

    Drop the foreplay and get down to business, Aless honey. Show us your dick.

    Did I misspell “your”?

  26. nails

    Agasaya- The masculine mystique blog is pretty flippin excellent. Also there are some good videos on youtube from…. Jackson Katz. I am pretty sure he has a website too.

  27. Aaltopahvia

    Wait! We have to soothe him! His obviously hurt. I can’t believe that I actually, always, feel sorry for these kind of jerks. It’s hard for me to cope with all the anger that these guys let out in feminist blogs – just by them letting it out it makes me question if it’s legitime. (It has to be, right? No one can be that selfish, right?) Because I wouldn’t dream of going to a *anti-myownbeliefs blog* and start ranting in the comments and harrassing the blogger. But how can there be so many guys so completely oblivious to what is being said that they come to a feminist blog to strut their hatred and their cluelessness? Isn’t it embarrassing?

    I’ve been dismayd by the comments of some of the people who actually use their own name in the Finnish feminist blogs. They really just don’t see that they are possibly doing a really dangerous disservice to their future careers by (I’m guessing) drunk-writing. Or is the danger only in saying feminist things, not in sharing borderline racist, chauvinistic opinions? Because my publishist asked me a few times if I really want to say aloud that I’m a feminist… Like it was the most dangerous thing to say in the world.

    About mr. goodguy here: Ofcourse *you* the Guy get to decide that somenones breasts are tacky (or are not tacky – but only if they’re reeeeel). It’s not like it’s a part of her body and in a way, well, hers to show, augment or just plain play with.

    I’m sure glad you’re the one answering these guys, Twisty. Shheees.

  28. Jill

    “Is there a decent blog out there by men, for men on patriarchy?”

    A friend of mine had a blog called Feminist Fred, but last I heard he was taking it down because of all the hatespam. Pussy!

  29. thebewilderness

    I was wondering about Fred. I haven’t seen him here for a while.

    Would you trust your money to a “credit card watchdog” d00d who didn’t know that Amex major selling point back in the day was that they charged the vendor instead of the card holder?
    I’m sure that will work out as splendidly for him as his efforts to instruct feminists with his new viewpoint have.

  30. Stickypaws

    Jill,

    You. Make. My. Day.
    Everyday.

    Hugs!

  31. Pantsuit Sally

    How is it any of Alessandro’s business whether they are natural or surgically enhanced? And how is a dood’s flaunting of his surgically enhanced washboard abs more creepy than a dood’s flaunting of his natural washboard abs? And what on earth do Megan McCain’s breasts have to do with consumer advocacy?

    So confused.

  32. Stickypaws

    Hugs to Ron Sullivan too.

  33. Wynne

    Sometimes I get exactly what I’ve always wanted in a few short paragraphs; not often, but sometimes. This is one of those sometimes.

  34. Zora

    “Is there a decent blog out there by men, for men on patriarchy?”

    It’s not a blog, but Robert Jensen has some good articles up on his Web page. http://uts.cc.utexas.edu/%7Erjensen/articles_gender.html

  35. Tupe

    I think every Bro Dude wishing to comment should be submitted to this same Blametariat Fishbowl Exercise where we take everything he says and snark about it to each other without interference or interruption. It’d be really good and empowerfulizing for them. They just need to admit it and everything will be fine.

  36. Tupe

    I think every Bro Dude wishing to comment should be submitted to this same Blametariat Fishbowl Exercise where we take everything he says and snark about it to each other without interference or interruption. It’d be really good and empowerfulizing for them. They just need to admit it and everything will be fine.

  37. agasaya

    http://uts.cc.utexas.edu/~rjensen/freelance/resistingmasculinity.htm

    These are wonderful sources, thanks! With so many critical issues to work on, not to mention mere survival as women, educating the guys has to be done by (hu)men. It’s not as if we have any credibility anyway!

    Here are the URLs for the Men’s Mystique:

    http://www.menweb.org/malemyst.htm with this being a list of male privileges:

    http://themasculinemystique.blogspot.com/2008/06/list-of-50-male-privileges.html

  38. DaisyDeadhead

    This thread is hilarious, thanks. BTW, you are still linked on Daily Puma, so don’t think he has seen this yet.

    Also, he quotes himself, rather pompously, like Bob Dole or somebody:

    Collaboration can improve an existing situation while also forging a foundation of trust for the future – Alessandro Machi

    Why would we assume it came from anyone else, if the quote is on his own profile?

    I’ll bet this guy put his name in laundry-marker on all of his t-shirts and underwear as a kid, too.

  39. Squiggy

    ‘I’ll bet this guy put his name in laundry-marker on all of his t-shirts and underwear as a kid, too.’

    And refers often to himself in the third person.

  40. io

    The “your” for you’re is absolutely priceless from you, Jill. Heart.

  41. Jonathan

    @Aaltopahvia:

    Or is the danger only in saying feminist things, not in sharing borderline racist, chauvinistic opinions?

    Exactly. Their hate speech is not only protected by law, but it maintains the careers of dudebags like Michael Bay. (They’re not being hired for their artistic skills, that’s for sure.)

  42. Craroline

    That Alissandro guy makes me fucking mad – stop projecting your boob-obsessed beliefs all over me please, oh Great Decider of What Makes Some Boobs “Tacky” and Some Boobs Not Tacky. I’m sure McCain really cares about your opinion.

  43. Jenni

    Wow. Thank you so much, that was a chuckle I really needed. If almost peeing myself laughing at this post wasn’t enough, Saurs’ comment “if I eat a lot, thereby gaining more bulk around my chestal region, are you going to scorn me for being overweight, or will you heap lauds upon me for guilelessly earning bigger titties, the only asset, as a woman, I am allowed to flaunt freely (provided I keep them enclosed in the patriarchy-approved boobie-wrangler known as the brassiere)? ‘Cos I’m sensing some mixed messages here, dude,” certainly topped it off for me!

  44. Aaltopahvia

    @Jonathan

    Exactly. Their hate speech is not only protected by law, but it maintains the careers of dudebags like Michael Bay. (They’re not being hired for their artistic skills, that’s for sure.)

    Well, in theory it’s illegal (not to mention immoral and unethical) to say chauvinistic things in public medias in Finland. We recently had a huge media fuss over the Finnish CEO of Audi (if I remeber right) comparing women to cars and commenting on women’s capability (or biological inability) to be in command of a major company – or any, for that matter. And he had to resign after that.

    I guess some things are better off. But I think most of the decision that are made out of sight (like not hiring women of certain age or keeping them in short terms that magically end if they give birth or not giving them a rase) are the ones that count. But to say it aloud you need researches and statistics to show it’s really happening. But to say the opposite you don’t need anything else but a pair of balls. And by the by, can you imagine a blog and media fuss over a male politicians bulging pants (abs are *not* the counterpart for breasts!) and the tackiness vs. naturality of it?

    But it has been almost funny to answer questions like: “Why did you write a book about two women? Why aren’t there any real men in it?” Would (and do they) honestly ask questions like that of men who write about war (no women in them!) or the likes of Dan Brown?

    My answer is always: “Well I am a woman. So I write about women. And it’s a love story between them. So there wasn’t really much room for men in the plotline, you know.”

    @Twisty: I guess it takes a real pussy to stand hatemail. Maybe it came to him as an even bigger surprise than me. Everybody wants to be loved.

  45. ew_nc

    Who says huge entitlement issues can’t be funny now and then?

  46. Hattie

    Great discussion. And thanks for the links, Agasaya and Zora. I’ve always liked Jensen.

  47. Antoinette Niebieszczanski

    Tupe, you have a firm grasp of Savage-Death-Islandism.

    Guys like ‘Sandro irk me worse than flat-out, honest he-man woman-haters. So earnest and sincere they squeak going into a turn. So full of piping hot crap the very mention of their names draws flies.

  48. Fede

    Every time I return to this post, I get the hiccups from chuckling.

  49. humanbein

    I used to write Feminist Fred, but the spam was intense, and intensely ugly. My background as a male-identified person made it intensely sickening to see the constant stream of porn, and like a true pussy, I gave up writing it.

    Another important reason I gave up writing it was that I have not much to say and more to learn, and as long as Twisty is blogging I’m happy. I actually started it when she stopped blogging for a long time, because I missed the feminist talk.

    My blog will not be missed, as anyone who clicks on my name and sees it will tell you. I’m not sure exactly how many people ever looked at it even once, but the number is well under 100. I never got even one piece of hate mail, and that proves how popular it was with readers.

    I did finally figure out how to stop the spam, though.

  50. Dr. Beads

    I used to read your blog regularly, HumanBein/Feminist Fred. I’m sorry that the inundation of spam led you to stop posting.

  51. speedbudget

    I, too, am sorry your blog had to go, human, but thanks for being there during the Great Twisty Disappearance.

  52. Jonathan

    @Aaltopahvia:

    We recently had a huge media fuss over the Finnish CEO of Audi (if I remeber right) comparing women to cars and commenting on women’s capability (or biological inability) to be in command of a major company – or any, for that matter. And he had to resign after that.

    Glad to hear they gave the human stain the boot. Although I wish Irene Rosenfeld would have bought Audi and sold it for parts instead. She could have made the purchase from her petty cash box.

  53. Susan

    Jill, you crack me the fuck up. Thanks a million!

  54. Woman

    Oh, this made me feel better. I know I leave for long periods, but I will always love you, Jill, and I carry you in my lobe, right next to the part that remembers the smell of fresh bread, the cuteness of kittens and the fantasies of freedom.

  55. teresainpa

    Come On “Ladies”, don’t you know that feminism will only get somewhere if we are really nice to men and explain our point of view over and over and over and over? If we do, sooner or later, many many years from now, they will get to our concerns right after everything else in the world is perfect and rich American women don’t display their augmentation and such like that.

  56. obotinchief

    Machi is such a pathetic piece of fail that he has to latch on to a few sad puma’s just to get any hope of action. He has shown up at many blogs, including my own, to spew the same old tired argument of why Hillary should have won and to pimp his “please let me waste your millions” website. What a tool! He did you a favor by removing you from his blog, I bet you are missing that 1 hit a month you used to get.

  57. Alessandro Machi

    [NOTE: Because Alessandro Machi did not read the Guidelines for Commenters, I was obliged to run his comment through the Poopoo-O-Meter. -- Jill]

    If you hpoopood chosen to engpoopooge me in poopoo brief empoopooil discussion, you would hpoopoove lepoopoorned thpoopoot my frustrpoopootion wpoopoos not with you or your blog.

    Instepoopood, you did whpoopoot you did, poopoond didn’t even hpoopoove the clpoopooss to use your repoopool npoopoome while poopoottempting to slpoopoonder me.

    When I empoopooiled you, I wpoopoos spending significpoopoont time problem solving why one blogger blog wpoopoos not updpoopooting on dpoopooilypumpoopoo, poopoond wpoopoos poopoolso discovering thpoopoot some conservpoopootive blogs thpoopoot were listed on dpoopooilypumpoopoo were deleting my comments.

    I didn’t cpoopoore thpoopoot much poopoobout the topic, I cpoopoored more thpoopoot if I mpoopooke poopoo topic, it not poopooppepoopoor two dpoopooys lpoopooter becpoopoouse it will look out of context, if you cpoopoon’t figure thpoopoot out thpoopoon you poopoore poopoo twit.

    Mpoopooy I poopoodd thpoopoot you poopoore somewhpoopoot of poopoo clueless dumb poopooss for printing Obot in Chief’s comments while deleting my prior comments from the comments section of your “poopoorticle”.

    You’re not poopoo feminist, your poopoo mpoopoonninist, poopoo mpoopoon in poopoo fempoopoole’s body who hpoopootes men but lures women into thinking you poopoore one of them.

  58. Alessandro Machi

    Posting Guidelines that make you out to be a douchebag are not necessarily something you should brag about.

  59. phio gistic

    Wow, it only took you 6 weeks to craft that scintillating comeback. :golfclap:

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>