Monthly Archive: December 2009

Dec 30 2009

Happy fucking new year

Speaking of mayhem, it’s about time for the Annual Holiday Trio of Random Passages from the SCUM Manifesto. “A small handful of SCUM can take over the country within a year by systematically fucking up the system, selectively destroying property, and murder: SCUM will become members of the unwork force, the fuck-up force; they will …

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Dec 25 2009

Husband and wife blog team on board with antifeminist backlash even though it’s so 20 years ago

Wait. I have a blog? Shitfire! But wow, check out this dumb blog. It’s one of those blogs that has “book deal” written all over it. It’s supposedly a husband-and-wife joint coaching the reader on the successful pursuit of traditional manliness. Traditional manliness isn’t just a lifestyle, it’s a movement! It agitates in support of …

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Dec 16 2009

Hugs, Twisty: jubjub birds et al

Correction Department

The Nashville Corrections Department, conveniently located adjacent to a Christian Science Reading Room and Balloon-A-Tune, is where you will find concerned rape preventionists Rita R. Reed and Benjamin F. Bean. A propos of scaremail forwards: [Dear Twisty,] Howdy! I was just the happy recipient of the following text message on my phone: Please be aware …

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Dec 11 2009

Spinster aunt emerges from self-help section with inferior selection

It is considered “self-improvement” to “uncover the truth about men.” I know this because I have just read a paperback purporting to enlarge on this “men, revealed at last!” theme, and the words “self-improvement” are printed right on the jacket. I have to confess that, in reading this book, Little White Whys: A Woman’s Guide …

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Dec 06 2009

I got yer rape prevention email forward right here

It was on a recent comment thread that the subject of racial bias in abduction reportage popped up. I allude to the phenomenon where a white woman and a black woman may be kidnaped on the same day, but the news media only get overwrought about the white girl. The socio-pathology underlying the phenomenon is …

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Dec 04 2009

Hey, bilbertson!

Only you can settle the drastically important argument roiling in the comments section. So which is it? Are you an incredibly gifted satirist, or a college sophomore?

Dec 04 2009

Feel-good post of the week

The other day I rode a horse bareback for the first time in 30 years. This horse. It was just like riding a bike, if the bike were 6 feet tall, 1300 pounds, and would spook like a deer at the terrifying sight of a cigarette butt on the ground. I had to get a …

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Dec 04 2009

Hugs, Twisty: “I just need to commandeer your uterus for a sec.”

Rejected comment from reader bilbertson on an August, 2007 post entitled UterusWatch 2007, in which I discuss a couple of legislative efforts to restrict women’s access to abortion, one of which required written consent of the “father”: [Dear Twisty] I know I’m commenting on this much later than it was posted but I hope readers …

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Dec 03 2009

Spinster aunt explains comedy

Whenever I hear some guy say that feminists don’t have a sense of humor, I want to punch that guy in the neck. What I mean is, I want to take a bunch of tiny razors and glue’em to a glove, kind of around the knuckle area, and put on this glove and then punch …

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Dec 02 2009

Godbaggianism originates at cellular level

Need cash? Got any Jewish eggs? Sell’em on Craigslist for 8 large! No Methodist, Buddhist, or Secular Humanist eggs, please. God can tell the difference. True story: when my ovaries were amputated, biopsied, and interviewed by clerics, it was found that my eggs did not subscribe to any supernatural fantasies whatsoever (except one, which claimed …

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