Dec 04 2009

Hey, bilbertson!

Only you can settle the drastically important argument roiling in the comments section. So which is it? Are you an incredibly gifted satirist, or a college sophomore?


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  1. Kossack

    I must humbly object to the terms of the question, as I teach some very bright college students and this is an insult to sophomores.

    Possible replacement opposition: incredibly gifted satirist, or crap-based patriarchy byproduct?

  2. oxymoronica

    Kossack, though I appreciate your perspective I must disagree. I’m well assured that college sophomores of the dudely persuasion are bright and respectful in the presence of a teacher-type but as a college sophomore of the blamerly persuasion I do implore: have you seen some of these goons in full weekend mode?

  3. M the Pedagogue

    A more interesting question, if bilbertson turns out to be a drive-by blog-comment wad-shooter, is what it means when an unwitting tool accidentally reveals the stupidity of several typical doodalicious defenses of patriarchy at once.

    Mere coincidence? Or evidence that the patriarchy carries within itself the seeds of its own destruction?

    I’m not holding my breath. This is outrageous and all very maddening.

  4. Alonzo Riley

    Of course it’s not a joke. It’s an argument ad abusurdum, and it’s freaking hilarious. It’s not satire because it’s really something that should be thrown in the face of pro-lifers so they can realize their own absurdity. You want the baby, you take care of it. I’ll poop it out right now!


    But see, that’s the Problem! If we COULD poop them out at will, we would have no need for abortion services.

    Hot damn that is a skill I could have used. The uterus IS a muscle, why can’t we flex it on PURPOSE?

  6. Susan

    The uterus IS a muscle, why can’t we flex it on PURPOSE?

    The most powerful (per square inch) muscle in the human body, I once read somewhere on the web. Eventually I think we’ll discover we can control it, and then the world (as we know it) will end.

    When I was a teenager I read an article about some sensory deprivation experiments. A woman they’d stuck down in a mine ended up having her period when she thought she should have it and not when, based on the actual passage of time, she normally would have done. Between that and my friends who told me they started their periods on the exact same day every month (no matter how long the month was), I determined we do have control over our cycles and uteri. As a result, I’ve conciously decided when to have my own period my entire life. I’m even convinced I thought myself an abortion when I was in college.

  7. Cathy

    “I’m even convinced I thought myself an abortion when I was in college.”

    Susan, I’ve often thought that if all women had this ability (don’t want the baby, it doesn’t live), there would be no patriarchy. Genghis Khan and his hordes would have gotten nowhere, instead of having a large percentage of the population in that area descended from them. If god were female, women would have had this ability all along. Homo sapiens might have been extinct early on, but the world would be better off.

    How’s that cycle control thing going?

  8. Aunty Christ

    “The uterus IS a muscle, why can’t we flex it on PURPOSE?”

    When I had my colposcopy last year, the nice doctor poking me in the cervix kept telling me to relax my uterus. Which is to say, I’ve been wondering about this very issue for a long time.

  9. Intransigentia

    I’ve been wondering about that issue for a long time too. I’ve had a few instances of a period being late-ish, freaking right out, and then it shows up about a day later, extra-chunky and extra-crampy. Since I didn’t do a pregnancy test, there’s no way of differentiating between coincidence and a blastocyst deciding to get the hell out of Dodge because it’s unwelcome.

    Add into the mix that some animals (rabbits as far as I know) can re-absorb their pregnancies up to a certain point, if they’re faced with conditions that make a pregnancy too difficult. If we could do that, would there even be an abortion debate?

  10. polly styrene

    Is it not possible that Bilbertson is an ungifted satirist, hence the confusion?

  11. Jill

    “Is it not possible that Bilbertson is an ungifted satirist, hence the confusion?”

    Polly, your hypothesis is elegant in its stunning probability.

  12. Isabel

    Bilbertson’s style reminds me a lot of the mysterious “Noted Scholar” of Science and Math Defeated. I find his blog very amusing, but even after a thorough reading of the blog and his comments on other blogs it’s hard to discern the level of satire. Many readers are also confused, and his comments on other blogs have led to discussions similar to the one going on here.


    (scroll down to the second post on the “Science of Abortion”)

    I have to admit I laughed out loud when I just read the current post on PZ Myers, whose blog he has gotten on some trouble on. I think it’s definitely satire, but I must admit he manages to keep even this devoted reader wondering at times. Of course, if he was responsible for the email I don’t now why he wouldn’t sign his own name. Maybe it’s a copycat.

    And I see now why Twisty made fun of me for saying something was maddening.

  13. notedscholar

    Miss Isabella,

    You say:

    Noted Scholar does satire, like Bilbertson.

    I haven’t read the literature in question, but I can tell from your premise that this is incorrect. I think what I’m doing is best considered “roasting.” I am roasting the scientific community for their myriad errors, and there are a lot. Granted, I add a lot of humor to keep my 40,000 readers entertained (see pageviews). But this should not be confused with satire or insincerity. For example (in reference to the recent post you mention) I really do think PZ Myers, The Church of Scientology, and Kent Hovind are a troublesome trio, and I’m sad to see them join forces. I’m lighthearted about it I suppose, but the underlying point is serious.

    By the way I am honored to be welcomed into a den of angry feminists. Some people here may be familiar with the work I have done on Gender Studies. You can see a sampling through one of the common tags on my blog:

    Matriarchally your,

  14. Jill

    I bet you blamers didn’t know that I Blame the Patriarchy is not merely a “den of angry feminists,” but also a welcoming destination on the World Wide Web where dudes can come and hype themselves!

  15. Isabel

    Well, now I feel bad because I have apparently been reading a mentally challenged person’s blog for its entertainment value.

  16. Hedgepig

    Teeheehee. Don’t fret Isabel, we’ve gotta get our laughs where we can in this world.

  17. notedscholar

    Gentle Isabella,

    I don’t have a mental challenge!

    Until DSM V,

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