Monthly Archive: January 2010

Jan 30 2010

Spinster aunt goes to pieces

Oh no! A 40-second video of a dancing cartoon butt wreaks havoc with my neurotransmitters! Below, sent in by blamer Katie — thanks, Katie! — is the video that generated my paroxysm. According to my secretary Phil, the video is funny, but not as funny as I think it is.

Jan 29 2010

There are molecules in the brain called “neurotransmitters”

Because of my award-nominated, it-is-highly-unlikely-that-you-are-qualified-to-post-here moderation policy — “Old Iron-Fist” is what they call me down at Spinster HQ — readers of I Blame the Patriarchy aren’t always exposed to mansplaining at standard Internet concentrations. I sometimes wonder if this is really all to the good, since mansplaining can be so goddam hilarious, and who …

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Jan 28 2010

Original iPad joke

Remember this vid from the Jerktassic Epoch? Jokes about menstruation are hilarious because menstruation is gross and alluding to it is fucking transgressive.

Jan 28 2010

Spinster aunt begins post with “I,” tells anecdote

I recently blew out a lobe laughing a cold, ulcerated laugh. It happened yesterday, when my sibling Tidy told me a sad tale of Christian insanity, which tale I now relate to you, right after I bore you with some background details. For reasons that, to my surprise, turned out to be none of my …

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Jan 25 2010

Mockery Korner

I regret that today’s post is one of those posts in which I recycle a couple of reader comments from the trash bin, because they express comicalness. Today’s are both dudely. In our first example, the author alludes to some Japanese fetish footwear I pictured in a post way back in the Osteopassic Period. I’ve …

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Jan 24 2010

Rednecks vs hogs

Do you often say to yourself, “I wonder, what does a feral hog track look like, anyway?” Look no further. Behold the goods. This track was huge enough that I have no wish to encounter the hog what made it. It probably has giant venomous fangs, spiked tail, and 6-inch claws. Texas has more feral …

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Jan 19 2010

Pre-abortion ultrasound laws generate amusing Onion vid

New Law Requires Women To Name Baby, Paint Nursery Before Getting Abortion Remember this, from last summer? Oklahoma is the only state in the nation that mandated a physician to both conduct an ultrasound and describe the images to the patient. “The ultrasound provision takes away a patient’s choice about whether or not to view …

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Jan 18 2010

Spinster aunt publishes post on godly football player without titling it first

According to the Internet, a celebrity football player and his mother are making a pro-compulsory pregnancy Super Bowl commercial for noted hysterical antifeminist group Focus on the Family. Reportedly the gist of the commercial is the heartwarming tale of the pre-parturient football mother, who experienced life-threatening issues while pregnant and was advised by doctors to …

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Jan 13 2010

Cheap frills: spinster aunt views child beauty pageant on TV

Remind you of anyone?

This dude is charged with murdering a woman unfortunate enough to have married him — she documented his violent episodes in her diary — and the Beeb reports that she had a “volatile personality”? ! * * * * * * * * * * In other antifeminist news, yesterday the satellite dish at Spinster …

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Jan 06 2010

Spinster aunt speaks out agin crapulent sickos in horse industry

horse-starved

Still from a YouTube vid exposing unspeakable sickosity at New Jersey Bravo Packing company. Disturbing in the extreme. Spinster aunts are multi-faceted — which is fortunate, because otherwise our Down With Patriarchy! ways would render us friendless and alone — and one of those facets is that we have been horse-crazy since birth. Horse people …

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