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Jan 24 2010

Rednecks vs hogs

Feral hog track

Do you often say to yourself, “I wonder, what does a feral hog track look like, anyway?” Look no further. Behold the goods. This track was huge enough that I have no wish to encounter the hog what made it. It probably has giant venomous fangs, spiked tail, and 6-inch claws.

Texas has more feral hogs than any other state. That’s because Texas has more rednecks than any other state. It is the fondest dream of certain of these rednecks to hunt wild hogs with pit bulls, so they make sure there are always plenty of’em roaming the countryside, terrorizing the citizenry.

I can get rid of my feral hog by calling one of these rednecks. They offer free hog removal in return for the thrill of the hunt. But then, of course, I’d have rednecks on the farm. I don’t know which is worse. It is, as Stingray said, a question for the ages.

44 comments

  1. Karley

    We have this problem in Missouri too. This one jagoff that lived near my sister actually bought some sort of giant wild pig from the San Diego Zoo, and, being a jagoff, released it to terrorize native wildlife and breed with the other wild pigs he, being a jagoff, released as well.
    Hooray for run-on sentences peppered with the word “jagoff!”

  2. thebewilderness

    Maybe the hog is just a dinky pot bellied pig in need of a pedicure. Maybe.

  3. Erin

    Rednecks using Pit Bulls to hunt feral hogs in Texas doesn’t sound good to me. It’s abuse on both sides for both animals. Watch a DogTown episode one Friday on the NatGeo channel and you’ll understand why.

  4. Sarah

    I miss living somewhere where feral wildlife of any variety was a concern. I’d much prefer the occasional run-in with a lion, tiger, bear and/or wild hog to daily battles with tie-wearing, Beamer-driving, swaggering white guys.

  5. Greenconsciousness

    Are you afraid? Maybe you need some firearm training? Better to defend yourself than bring in the assh– with the dogs. Because these pigs are dangerous and you have rattlesnakes so maybe you need to carry a gun.

  6. octopod

    Wait, people deliberately release hogs to go feral? I thought it was your usual invasive-species problem, like rabbits in Australia. Sheesh. Assholes.

  7. Tree

    It’s definitely a hog? I would believe you if you said it was a deer. Or a miniature 100 lbs bunny rabbit.

  8. Belle

    Oh, I’d much rather have the hogs. Lifespan is shorter, and you haven’t seen this one. You know the redneck would be hanging around, telling awful jokes and beatin’ on his dawg.

  9. SargassoSea

    Two words: El Chupracabra

  10. Isabel

    “They offer free hog removal in return for the thrill of the hunt.”

    Thrilling or not for the “rednecks” you so look down your nose on, the free removal is probably because they will make an easy profit selling the wild boars to middlemen who supply organic markets and upscale restaurants in Europe and the US, where the meat will be consumed by clean and shiny, educated and enlightened upper-class folk who are the ones actually driving the trend.

    http://www.nytimes.com/2006/10/29/us/29hog.html?_r=1

  11. AileenWuornos

    You sure know how to make a womyn want to travel to Texas!

  12. PandanCat

    One of my friends lives on the edge of the jungle in a certain country that has jungles. They put out traps for the wild hogs that come eat their crops and then give the ol’ army a call. It’s ribs in the barracks and people who are skeeved out by pigs keep their hands clean.

    Alas, the wild elephants are another story.

  13. Vinaigrette Girl

    I’m guessing that the great state of Texas has no law forbidding release of non-indigenous species.

    You could consult your vet about humane disposal – not necessarily involving killing – when it falls down the pit trap you dig. If you’re working on being off-grid maybe guiding it thither with some temporary electric fencing is an option to explore.

    Alternatively, pig whispering.

    But no, not rednecks.

    As for European consumption of feral pig; oh, please, not the Evil Stupid White European myths again. There is more than enough wild boar around these parts to keep the market alive and well, New York Times story notwithstanding.

  14. Gertrude Strine

    @Octopod

    usual invasive-species problem, like rabbits in Australia.

    As far as I know, the usual invasive-species problem was indeed caused by deliberate introduction for specific aims – mainly sport. Deer, fox, rabbit, pigeons, sparrows, even starlings in Australia – all for 19th Century gentlemen farmers wanting to better preserve their idea of themselves as huntin’ fishin’ shootin’ lords. Sort of the 19th C redneck equivalent. See the Wikipedia summary of their attitudes – not just in Australia but also in New Zealand and Canada. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acclimatisation_society

    The species moving continues today, with idiots in the recent past transporting fox deliberately across Bass Strait to Tasmania (where fox had not been imported before the acclimatisation movement had become deprecated) from mainland Australia with a fairly quick effect on the thriving macropod fauna – an outpost of a diverse population that had been so badly degraded by fox on the mainland. And still it’s difficult to get people to report seeing fox in Tasmania when it is still possible to rid Tasmania of them. Who knows what is in the hearts of men?
    Don’t just blame the presumed unlettered for silly imports: the history of the cane toad in Australia, brought in to “control” the sugar cane beetle by government scientists and now the fastest spreading species replacer in Australia, is educational. The mongoose in the Caribbean is also, I understand, somewhat typical.
    The black rat, common mouse, the cat, various arthropods and most microbes are on the other hand so much at one with humanity that I doubt you could call them invasive separately from man.
    It’s a very interesting philosophical question, whether Homo sapiens sapiens isn’t, by results, the ultimate feral species.
    I fear it will all end in tears, whosever perspective is taken.

  15. Antoinette Niebieszczanski

    A round-up featuring unarmed rednecks vs. the feral hogs would be my preference. Pit the two invasive species against each other and make it as fair as possible — no weapons except those you were gifted with when you were born.
    P.S. My money’s on the hogs.

  16. Jill

    Hey, thanks for the link where the New York Times explains what’s going on 5 feet from my house!

  17. speedbudget

    Honeybees are an introduced species in the US. Without them, there would be very little fruit.

    I dunno. Just sayin’.

  18. notalady

    wild boar = a whole lotta tacos

  19. yttik

    “It’s definitely a hog? I would believe you if you said it was a deer. Or a miniature 100 lbs bunny rabbit.”

    There is such a thing you know, 100 lb bunny rabbits. Actually they’re probably more like 50-70 lbs, but a bit disturbing none the less. I’m sure they’re not as dangerous as feral hogs or rednecks with pit bulls, but just the same, I’m a bit concerned about the day we wind up with giant feral rabbits.

  20. dillene

    Yeah, I have to kill these things all the time in World of Warcraft. They give good xp for low level players. Alas, I can’t bring my enchanted mace and divine shield into real life or I would offer to dispatch it for you myself, Jill.

  21. Isabel

    Hey, thanks for the link where the New York Times explains what’s going on 5 feet from my house!

    Spoken like a true redneck!

  22. Hattie

    Feral pigs, we call them here. And hunting them with dogs is the local guy sport. A real man around here has a pickup, a gun, and a bunch of dogs and loves to hunt them tasty pigs. When the pig is caught, killed, and butchered, it becomes delicious luau. Try to get an invitation to a luau next time you are in Hawaii.

  23. Larkspur

    They call ‘em wild pigs in my neck of the Pacific coastal woods. But they’re once-domestic pigs gone feral.

    Once I worked at a law office and we were hired by a wild pig hunter’s insurance company to defend him in a lawsuit. Our client had a contract with a big ranch owner, whose vast tract of land included much semi-wilderness. And some wild pigs. He’d get hunting parties together and they’d hunt and shoot the wild pigs. The lawsuit came about after a particularly messy ATV accident. Hunting plus ATVs makes you stupid. No pigs were harmed that day.

    Sometimes you have to protect your land, crops, and animals from threats like wild pigs, and sometimes you can’t just relocate ‘em or trap them. I’d be more inclined to hire a person with a shotgun and a truck. No parties, no dogs, no hijinks, just quick death.

  24. simone

    I was once given half a wild hog that a neighbor had shot. With a good dry rub and a several careful hours on the smoker, that was some of the tastiest pork around.

  25. Jill

    “Spoken like a true redneck!”

    We endeavor to give satisfaction, ma’am.

    It dawns on me that the hilarious comedy in my original remark might have been somewhat obscured by my ineptitude.

    Ah well. That’s showbiz.

  26. Jonathan

    There’s always the chance they could kill each other off.

  27. Jezebella

    Semi-urban legend now holds that the Katrina zone is now rife with formerly domestic hogs who got loose during the maelstrom and are now feral & breeding more. Some have allegedly been spotted in NOLA’s City Park. Some of these have allegedly been killed and eaten by the people in the homeless tent city that sprouted in City Park after the storm – probably in the form of red beans and rice, or maybe jambalaya.

    Disclaimer: I am a 21st-century internet reporter, therefore I just report the news, I don’t actually verify it.

  28. bellacoker

    I was walking home from work one evening last year when my mother called to tell me that the news said that feral pigs had been spotted in my town and that they were dangerous. (I live in Texas my own self) She asked if I was scared to walk home alone, and I told her that I was shocked to hear her speak so negatively about the police.

  29. HazelStone

    So, for Celtic or Norse pagans going on a wild boar hunt with spears is a ultra cool cultural/religious activity. Frankly, I’d rather have them doing my wild boar-clearing-out than drunk ATV riding rednecks.

  30. Larkspur

    The most important thing is to continue to disrupt communications between wild pigs and domestic pigs. They cannot be allowed to exchange information, because if the wild pigs hear how we treat the domestic pigs, it’s all over for us. Vengeance will be theirs. There will be squadrons of wild pigs who’ve painted themselves blue and none of us will ever be safe again. And there won’t be any more domestic pigs, only wild pigs.

    Well, I have just officially scared myself.

  31. Laughingrat

    @Larkspur–now if only that would happen with women, and then the Patriarchy would be no more. Plus, painting oneself blue sounds like a good time.

  32. PandanCat

    Would we have to use woad, though, or would regular outdoor acrylic do?

  33. speedbudget

    @Larkspur–I try to steal away the domesticated women whenever I can. It’s like they have some kind of invisible helmet on that won’t let them see how FUN it is to be a wild woman. *sigh*

  34. Jill

    The Texas Aggie website has a section called “Coping with feral hogs.” It doesn’t really tell you much about coping except to offer recipes.

    My county agent (think Hank Kimball from “Green Acres”), who has eaten many a wild pig, tells me that you have to trap’em and feed’em fermented corn for a week before you butcher’em, because you don’t know where they’ve been and what they’ve been eating, and a week, presumably, is plenty of time for the necessary detox, and even then the ones over 70 pounds are a dead loss because they taste bad. But be careful, because trapped pigs can go hog wild.

  35. Ciccina

    Hey, does anyone else see an image of the Virgin Mary in that print?

    Or is it just me?

  36. Ron Sullivan

    Hey, thanks for the link where the New York Times explains what’s going on 5 feet from my house!

    Someone’s mansplaining!

    Apologies if this has already shown up somewhere. Blame the red beans and rice.

  37. Isabel

    Ron Sullivan
    January 29, 2010 at 12:28 am

    Hey, thanks for the link where the New York Times explains what’s going on 5 feet from my house!

    Someone’s mansplaining!

    Apologies if this has already shown up somewhere. Blame the red beans and rice.

    I think you both missed the point of my comment. There is a (recent) historical context, that Twisty is aware of, and you probably are too if you are a SB/Zuska reader (i.e. all the recent “Redneck” posts at Isis’ and Drugmonkey’s lately with 100′s of comments that went on for weeks?). I was miffed, perhaps unjustifiably so (calling CPP) that Twisty had neglected an important part of the pig/redneck story, i.e. the actual reason they will collect them for free, along with the tone that “rednecks” are untouchables that would give her property cooties or something. Saying they’ll remove it from your property for free simply for the thrill preys on the stereotype of rednecks as savage animals eg the ‘other’. In my opinion. (smiley face would go here if it was allowed). I suspected right away they were probably just selling them, just as beekeepers will come to collect a swarm on your property for free because they can use the bees. The first link I clicked on in a search confirmed this, and also that they usually just trap them (not using dogs). Although as the article points out, some do seem to enjoy the thrill, and those may be active around Twisty’s ranch, but even those guys are doing it to supplement their income. The fact that the intended customer was the snobby upper classes just made commenting irresistible. In any case my comment was not intended to be condescending. Sorry if it came off that way. I probably shouldn’t even have read the post, but with “redneck” in the title how could I not have?

  38. Isabel

    Also, maybe Twisty was just joking and knew all that and assumed all her readers would also know all that but I think the responses make it clear that is not the case, and in any case it is still playing on stereotypes (the comments confirm that also). Sometimes it seems every story about “gangs” is dismissed as a racist myth and every story about “rednecks” is believed as gospel. Okay okay I will go back to avoiding reading posts that are sure to raise my blood pressure!

  39. Jezebella

    Isabel, I live in Mississippi, a place rife with rednecks. I know a lot of them personally, even. Many of them are good people, despite their unfortunate voting habits and godbagginess. Yet I would not begin to consider letting a bunch of ‘em, and their dogs, and their ATV’s, and their giant trucks, and their rifles, free reign on my property. *Particularly* if my property, like Jill’s, was a nature preserve of some kind. In my rather large experience with redneck men, I’ve noticed that 99% of them are incapable of hearing the actual words a female speaks, and are therefore unlikely to follow any kind of instructions given by a woman, so a hunter in search of a pig on your property is basically a loose cannon.

    I get the impression that you think every reader of this blog besides you is some kind of sheltered prep school WASP dripping in old money and privileged ignorance. I don’t know where you got that attitude, but evidence to the contrary abounds.

  40. Isabel

    I don’t think that at all, Jezebella, and you didn’t even address my main point, about leaving out the motivation for the free service. Not that I really care, but doesn’t help your argument.

    “Yet I would not begin to consider letting a bunch of ‘em, and their dogs, and their ATV’s, and their giant trucks, and their rifles, free reign on my property.”

    Sounds a tad hyperbolic. Again, trapping seems the rule. Why the need to exaggerate?

    Also in terms of danger. There are plenty of feral pigs where I live and hike (I see the tracks all the time) and they try to avoid people. The ranch animals may be more of a concern, so then it’s jut a tough decision, which I sympathize with.

    As far as protecting the preserve, the nature preserves around here that I’m involved with seem more concerned about the effects of the wild turkeys. I’ll ask them about the pigs.

    I sort of know what you mean though. I used to live next door to a notorious biker gang’s clubhouse in a large city, and accidentally put a hit on someone while complaining to one of the bikers about some loud crack dealers in my building who were keeping me up all night. Fortunately they didn’t actually kill the guy, and unfortunately he was back in business a few weeks later.

  41. Ron Sullivan

    I’ll trust PTwisty to have a more accurate guess at the motives of her particular neighbors than I would; I just don’t get the NYT subject’s using a pitbull, whatever else he’s doing. What’s wrong with a pack of perfectly good Catahoula hounds? Hell, they even use those out here in California. Maybe it’s just about keeping the pigs alive so the meat stays fresh.

    BTW, if I could snap my fingers and make every damned feral hog in North America explode into instant ants-climb-tree, I’d do it. Forget livestock; what they do to wildlife and indigenous plants is unforgivable. (sob) Think Of The Calochortuses! Won’t Someone Think Of The Calochortuses?!

    I’m accusing the NYT of mansplainin’, not you. That might be a little bent, but after all these years of laughing what NYT reporters say about California I’m inclined to assume the worst as a starting point. I don’t read ALL the SBs; I’ll trust you about the unpleasantness you mentioned and just steer clear if you don’t mind. Ugh, blogwars.

  42. Larkspur

    Apropos of almost nothing except for “pit bull”, here is a link to a lovely little video of pit bull Pink enjoying some outdoor playtime. It’s from the Bad Rap Blog.

    http://badrap-blog.blogspot.com/2010/01/pink.html

  43. Hedgepig

    Ah pit bulls and staffies: they’re so besotted with humans. Poor sweet fools.

  44. Jezebella

    Pinky Deluxe the Pit Bull is going viral, damn. She just showed up on my facebook feed. She’s a sweet lil thing. Too bad my cats would kill me in my sleep if I adopted a dog.

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