Jan 28 2010

Original iPad joke

Remember this vid from the Jerktassic Epoch?

Jokes about menstruation are hilarious because menstruation is gross and alluding to it is fucking transgressive.


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  1. nakedthoughts

    more transgressive “humour”.


    this showed up in my inbox today.

  2. tinfoil hattie

    Thank you. My brother couldn’t wait to tell me about some “hilarious” video with an IPad stuffed up a woman’s skirt. Hur hur hur! She’s a woman! With a vagina! That bleeds! That’s hysterical.

    Aaaah, I hate everything.

    Except IBTP.

  3. tinfoil hattie

    Oh. It’s the same video at the top of the thread. Duh. I hadn’t seen it until then.

  4. Moot

    One more (and a swipe at Avatar): I’m waiting for the 3D version. I heard it’s called iMaxiPad.

  5. Sarah

    First, I was going to say:

    “Twisty, will you marry me? I mean, I know that marriage is an evil institution designed to chain women to patriarchy and lifelong oppression. But for realsies, will you?”

    But then I realized that:

    “Aaaah, I hate everything.

    Except IBTP.”

    summed up my sentiments much more completely.

  6. Springy

    Twisty, you’re the feminist PG Wodehouse, with better satire. I salute you.

  7. nails

    I looked into this ipad business, and its exactly the same as the computer I have had for over a year. There were phones that kicked the shit out of iphones long before iphones were popular, too. I can’t believe marketing works this well.

  8. Jill

    What the heck is a “narrow cervix”?

  9. Sarah

    All Google has to say about narrow cervixes (cervices?) is that the sort of people who turn to the internet for medical advice tend to worry said narrowness may hamper conception. Google also, strangley, pointed me to a page explaining “dysmenorrhea,” which is a pain of mysteeeeeeeeeerious origins in womenfolk’s lower abdomens before and during their periods. Inexplicable! Probably due to hysteria.

  10. Shelby

    Did I laugh! The only thing that would have made that skit more fucking funny would be if it had been two guys in wigs and dresses and high heels.

  11. Orange

    Even the widest cervix would have trouble admitting a tampon.

  12. Amananta

    The “narrow cervix” comment is a horrible, sad case of complete ignorance of the way the female reproductive system works. I find it particularly sad that it’s a female actor saying this – it is pathetic enough that so many men have no clue what a cervix is and does, but it deeply saddens me that a woman would think her cervix has anything to do with tampon insertion. She probably means she has a narrow vagina, which leads into another troubling, deeply embedded cultural myth about women’s bodies: the idea that the vagina is a open hole into a woman’s body with a specific diameter that gradually widens because of sex and childbirth.

  13. Josquin

    “Narrow cervix”? What on earth???
    But, I still think the name i-Pad is ridiculous, and not because menstruation is inherently awful. It simply falls into the category of i-kleenex, i-Q-tip, or i-nose-hair-clipper.

    The thing that cracks me up is the fact that, clearly, not a single solitary woman was involved in the product-naming decision. Ha! That will teach Apple to default to men when it comes to marketing decisions! I bet they are beating their little heads against the wall now, as we speak.

  14. tinfoil hattie

    But, I still think the name i-Pad is ridiculous, and not because menstruation is inherently awful. It simply falls into the category of i-kleenex, i-Q-tip, or i-nose-hair-clipper.

    I dunno. Legal pad, landing pad, crash pad, kneepad. Somehow we’ve gotten to today without any of those common terms evoking hysteria-inducing visions of menstruation.

  15. slade

    As soon as I heard the name of the latest Apple widget, I knew what was to follow. Next Jobs will come out with itampon, a pocket-sized version of the ipad. I was hoping for i.tablet….but then the boyz couldn’t make fun of the majority.

    I preferred the widgets be named after, you know, types of Apples. Say, iFuji or iGala or iG.smith, and the i.Pinklady.

    Would someone remind me what the ‘i’ represents? Internet?

  16. nobodyinparticular

    I want to see the skit with the ipad stuffed up a guy’s rectum. And he’s dancing. And there’s five of those guys.

  17. slythwolf

    Damn, am I outta the loop. I thought everybody was just misspelling “iPod”.

  18. yttik

    What the heck is a “narrow cervix”?

    It’s a condition like all gynecological issues that causes depression, hysteria, mood swings, and makes you bad at math. Sadly it is not yet recognized as a legal defense.

  19. Jonathan

    That MAD TV skit and other misogynist iPad jokes are going to be very popular for the rest of this year, because the tech dudes are in full retaliation against Jobs for courting tech-savvy women:


    The tech dudes loved the crappy Motorola Droid phone, despite its stupid name, because of stupid shit like this:

    Droid. Should a phone be pretty? Should it be a tiara-wearing digitally clueless beauty pageant queen? Or should it be fast? Racehorse duct-taped to a Scud missile fast. We say the latter. So we built the phone that does. Does rip through the Web like a circular saw through a ripe banana. Is it a precious porcelain figurine of a phone? In truth? No. It’s not a princess. It’s a robot. A phone that trades hair-do for can-do.

    The stupid tech dudes love stupid tech names attached to stupid tech shit. They are only rallying around the “MaxiPad” jokes because they know what will happen if Jobs is right.

    I for one, am looking forward to get an iPad for my Mom.

  20. AileenWuornos

    Would someone remind me what the ‘i’ represents? Internet?

    incredibly over priced?

  21. Comrade PhysioProf

    Jobs deserves some slack for playing such a seminal role in the personal computer revolution.

  22. Lullabee

    @ Jonathan: And I love the Motorola Droid because of its ridiculous ad campaign, provoking pleasing images of female deer fisticuffs.


  23. Princess Rot

    The “i” part stands for “intelligent”. Trufax. No idea if there was any of this penultimate “i” present at the marketing meeting that decided this unfortunate piece of junk’s name, though.

  24. copykatparis

    Of course they had to hqve the actors say “cervix.” They simply can’t even THINK of the word “vagina,” that’s just so GROSS!! And guess who is to blame?

    Ah Eve Ensler, where are ya when we really need ya?

  25. Frumious B.


    I have no idea whether any women were or were not involved in the naming or vetting of the iPad. However, there is no reason to assume that having women involved would have led to a different name because not every woman associates “pad” with “maxipad.”

  26. Jezebella

    Heh, Comrade, you said “seminal”. Does that explain why apple products are all white?

  27. really guys?

    Grow up! I bet it would have been hilarious if we could make penis or testicle jokes to go with it, but because it has to do with menstruation we all have to uptight about it because it’s obviously a sign of men oppressing us by making our periods out to be gross. Raising self-righteous protest at the horrible depraved jokes that all those stupid boys are cracking isn’t doing us any favors. I am always amazed that “it would have been funny if it had been an ipad shoved up his rectum” doesn’t register with people as being rude, demeaning, and beneath us when they think that this movie (which I LAUGHED at) was.

  28. Laughingrat

    Oh noes! The hairy humorless feminists aren’t doing themselves any favors! Quick, someone remind them to shave their armpits and dole out the blow-jobs lest men take away our right to choose! Being icky-sweet and laughing at sexist jokes is totally the only thing that won us the vote!

  29. Kripa

    I agree with you on damn near everything. I’m going to have to respectfully disagree on this one count though. The iPad jokes made me giggle like no other.

  30. Lil

    “Grow up!”

    Ah, ageism, good to see you again.

  31. Fern

    Jokes about menstruation are low like jokes about pooping, except jokes about pooping don’t also encourage being disgusted by something ONLY wommen do.

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