What a darling fellow! This gentle furry woodland creature comes around every night at 8 o’clock to frolic amid the rotting kitchen waste in my compost bin, at which point our nightly staring contest commences. He growls at me, inch-long fangs dripping with disease, for as long as I care to listen (video below). I have never outlasted him.
Meanwhile, is Elena Kagan queer?
Absolutely! Straight women do not play sports! Especially not softball. If a straight chick tries to play softball, the queer girls on the team turn her gay right away.
But mang, it would totally blow your mind, the sheer vastness of the number of queer women who think they’re straight. It’s like, over a thousand!
I mention this only because the Is-She-Gay thing is causing national media to point the fickle floodlight of fear (and loathing) at spinster aunthood. Heterosexual married people secretly yearn for and covet our awesomeness. But since we are symbols of freedom from the oppression of the nuclear family, we are reviled by those who have invested their entire identities in the paradigm.
They are, by the way, fucking dipshits. And by “they” I mean “them.”