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Jun 05 2010

Hugs, Twisty: Woman’s sex appeal is unbearable to knob coworkers

To: Twisty Faster
From: maria m. miranda
Subject: Jezebel: woman fired for being too sexy at job
Message:
I know Jezebel covered this, but I want YOU to write about it.

Dear maria m. miranda,

Nothing gives me greater pleasure than catering to the whims of complete strangers!

Here’s my synopsis [pieced together from the original story at Village Voice and Anna North's essay on same at Jezebel]: Debrahlee Lorenzana is fired from Citibank for bankering while female. She’s suing the chumpass motherfuckers for discrimination.

Lorenzana’s story is older than a spinster’s bunions: because of the Global Accords Governing Fair Use of Women, wherein is codified the equation of “women” with “sex,” Lorenzana’s Beauty2K-compliance, which is considerable, was deemed “too distracting” for her dude coworkers “to bear.” Citibank managers criticized her for looking too sexy, for not wearing makeup, for wearing high heels, for not wearing high heels, for wearing pencil skirts, for wearing sweaters, for wearing “fitted” business suits, for not straightening her hair, etc. They also performed an office-neuter on her: omitted to give her essential training which forced her to rely on male coworkers for favors.

It was further speculated in the Jezebel comments that Lorenzana’s female colleagues experienced her as a source of acute agony and contrived to “cut her off at the knees” forthwith.

In other words, Lorenzana was hectored, harassed, and discriminated against.

And then, when the Village Voice reports on her lawsuit, they include a weird 26-photo online slideshow of the “amihotornot” variety, asking readers to more or less rate Lorenzana’s sex appeal, this in addition to the patriarchy-affirming, porn-is-great language and tone of the article generally. As of this writing, the slideshow has nearly 300 comments. I stopped reading after the first 10 or so, which all voiced the same sentiment: she ain’t all that, she should “get over” herself, she must have deep character flaws that caused her female manager to give her the axe, obviously she is looking to parlay this frivolous lawsuit into celebrity.

Poor Debrahlee Lorenzana. Possessing a physique and — according to the Village Voice, which lovingly devotes a whole paragraph to her five closets of designer clothes — a sense of fashion that mirror precisely the sort of physique and sense of fashion most highly prized by dicks who consume pornography and prostituted women, Lorenzana was perceived to emit porn-rays too hot for Citibank.

Here is what is irrelevant to the case:

Lorenzana’s Christian Louboutin heels
Lorenzana’s point on the sexbot continuum
Lorenzana’s aspirations to fame and fortune
That Lorenzana unlikeably tried to save herself by ratting out some women tellers for wearing hooker outfits
Whether Lorenzana chooses to emit porn rays, or whether her natural self merely happens to conform precisely to pornulated beauty ideals.

What is relevant:

That Lorenzana is being punished for porn culture.

There’s a femininity tightrope that all public women are forced to walk, and she got bounced off, into the vat of boiling misogyny below. Whenever a public woman fails to balance the following factors just right, the some dick jounces the rope, and splat she goes. To wit:

Public women should be X amount feminine, X amount motherly, X amount hot, X amount beautiful, X amount young, X amount confident, X amount helpless, X amount exotic, X amount educated, X amount intelligent (required: the last two values < the men in the office), X amount gay (the last value almost always = 0). The ratios are fluid, shifting from day to day at the whim of public sentiment, so that a woman may think she’s got it pretty well sewed up, only to wake up one fine spring morn to discover that the parade being thrown in her honor has suddenly vanished. Later she finds out it’s because she stupidly forgot she was a member of the sex class, and had dared to imagine that she would be judged on merit rather than her ability to do femininity right.

Eventually we all fall off the rope.

Hugs,
Twisty

62 comments

3 pings

  1. Natalia

    Wonderful response, Twisty.

  2. Saphire

    All those X values and their fluidity tell us is none of us ‘have it’, and if we do, it’s to taunt the rest, and we’re disposable as soon as that job is done.

    Men love the shelf life quip for this very reason. A compliment to youthfulness or perky breasts is just as hollow as they like it to be.

    Women are not allowed to take any of their beauty to heart as essentially this is value of a sort.

  3. Saphire

    Sounds like she tried to play the game with the patriarchy, not wearing make up etc, and lost. Women 0, Patriarchy zillion and 1.

  4. iamlegs

    Said in inimitable Twisty fashion, not a comma out of place.

  5. Jeff

    That last paragraph is basically perfect. Word.

  6. Panic

    X amount gay (the last value almost always = 0).
    Unless there’s a man watching.

  7. Comrade PhysioProf

    As if all of that isn’t enough, her attorney–a d00d named Jack Tuckner–refers to himself as a “sex-positive women’s rights lawyer”.

  8. Ashley

    “some dick jounces the rope, and splat she goes.”

    ugh, amen.

    The problem for Lorenzana is the way she looks. Society breeds and creates women who look that way, puts them at the top of a continuum of bad options, and then when they try to do anything other than be sexually available to men, everybody grabs a piece of the rope and starts pulling. It sucks that she ratted out the other women but honestly, what a messed up game of hopscotch. But after all, how dare she try to bank with a face like that?

    Why don’t they switch it up and harass those over gelled, over cologned, snide slick arrogant douchebags who always work the loan desks at Citibank?

  9. Phledge

    Not to mention that she may or may not identify as a woman of color, which ups the ante on Uncontrollable Sexxxiness. Thought brought to you via…shit. Sady? Womanist Musings? I can’t find the brilliance now. Definitely not an original work of art.

    Also, Panic took the words right out of my mouth. And then I threw up a little.

  10. stillill

    Great response.

    This is a bit OT, but I’m fascinated by the “hot or not” obsession. Many straight men seem to spend huge amounts of time policing each others responses to female attractiveness, and attempting to enforce a universal standard. Of course it’s not just straight men, other (straight) women and gay men feel the need to debate female hotness like it’s an objective truth. Curiously enough gay men don’t seem to apply this to other men, but tend to have a “whatever floats your boat” approach. Straight women don’t seem to obsess over standardised rankings of male hotness either. I suppose the function of the female hot or not debates is to dehumanize and objectify women, and to reify contingent sexual behavior (which is actually based on contemporary social practices), to deny contingency and instead posit male sexuality as universal, natural and inherently “true” and therefore valid.

  11. Jill

    “X amount gay (the last value almost always = 0).”

    Unless there’s a man watching.

    I stand by my remark. Men think they’re all hot for lesbians, until they find out that ‘lesbian’ means a woman who really, really, as in for REAL, is disgusted by the idea of some dude prongin’er. The lesbians men yearn to prong are the fake lesbians in porn, the drunk straight girls who make out for “Girls Gone Wild” videos in exchange for a T-shirt. No dude would suffer watching a couple of big butch girls with buzz cuts gettin’ it on. Dykey is not an option.

  12. janna

    Thank you, Jill. I was about to say the same thing re: lesbians. As soon as men find out that the lesbians are REALLY not interested in them, they get disgusted (at best) or violent (at worst).

  13. humanbein

    This woman was fired by a culture that reacts with a smirk to upitty bitches who think theys hot or somethin’. Seems like dominance culture is drawn irresistibly to degrading women it deems sexy in any way possible. As participants in this culture, women find themselves reacting with this urge to put sexy in her place along with all the men.

    All the comments and activity in hot-or-not contests by women are reflections of this cultural desire to dominate the sexy. We are trained to react this way, and catching yourself doing it is not incomprehensible. I’ve always felt sorry for the sexy women, they seem so beleaguered; and the benefits of sexiness, wanted or not, seem more like punishments than prizes.

  14. MPMR

    It’s way less hot for the man if the two women aren’t hooking up as a performance intended to get him off.

  15. Ashley

    “I suppose the function of the female hot or not debates is to dehumanize and objectify women”

    The way that non-feminists use the standard is objectifying, but as a “hot” woman, to me it is a feminist issue. As women we have no control over the scales, just try to cope with how they affect our lives. It’s not any better being considered attractive than it is considered not attractive. It is actually harder to extricate yourself from patriarchal thinking. If you look a way that men like, it is probably the biggest issue in your life. You can’t escape it either way, and so to me the way she looks is the most important part of the story, because it’s the reason her humanity is denied her.

  16. Ashley

    I also think that criticizing this woman’s femininity practices, as was done on Jezebal and is unfortunately done to women by some feminists, (ahem Jill ahem I love you anyway) is a red herring.

    Men abuse and mistreat women because of them, not because of what women do or don’t do. In school, my best friend was the fat girl and I was the hot girl. We both got 6 years of hell and isolation- her because she wasn’t born right for their tastes and me because I wasn’t as nice as a hot girl should be to men. The torture wasn’t about what we did-it was the way men and women responded to our bodies based on how they made them feel. Not what we did-what we did could never have been good enough. This is true of Lorenanza too. She was fucked from the gate, not because of what she wore, said, did or did not do.

  17. joy

    “the way she looks is the most important part of the story, because it’s the reason her humanity is denied her.”

    This is true, but let’s suppose for a moment that the situation was slightly shifted and this unfortunate woman was fired for being one of the big, shaven-head dykey ones.

    In that case, her being “not” “hot” would have resulted in her termination.

    Men police the way all of us look. If we are “hot,” they harass us endlessly. If we are “not,” they harass us endlessly.

    All in all, for many women — “hot” or “not” — looks are a huge issue. Sometimes even the biggest issue.

    If we’re “hot,” men rape us and say they couldn’t control themselves. If we’re “not”, they rape us and say they did it to shame us.
    If we’re “hot,” we get fired for being “too hot”, if we’re “not”, we get fired for being “too not.”
    They harass us on the street either way. They force us into pregnancy either way. They do anything they want, and then blame it on something we can’t even control (our bodies), regardless of what we do or don’t do.

    Women can’t win.

  18. Saphire

    ‘As participants in this culture, women find themselves reacting with this urge to put sexy in her place along with all the men.’

    Further to that, bashing other women is deemed the sole outlet for rage at the patriarchy. They attack the hot woman, because in her they see the only expression of the p they’re allowed to attack. Sometimes female scorn is more vicious than any male scorn – the anger is double loaded, from jealousy and the trappings of P2K beauty compliance.

    To men, women really are pitt bull terriors raised from birth only to kill each other – never to harm their ‘owners’ doing the evil.

  19. joy

    Oh, and Ashley, if it makes you feel any better, I’ve always danced the fine (arbitrary, male-created) lines between “hot” and “smart”, and “hot” and “fat.” Oh, and the “is she gay/is she not gay” thing that every man seems to desperately want to know.

    So on one hand, men reeeallly, really want to sexually dominate me (claiming, as has everyone from my cousin who molested me to the men who harass me to my former boss who propositioned me, that my ‘beauty’ and ‘fecundity’ “makes” them do it) –

    but simultaneously want to humiliate me and put me in my place, because I am not standard-variety “hot,” am smart, and might be (hint, assholes, I am) queer.
    This translates into my experiencing violence for being “hot,” while simultaneously experiencing violence for being “not.”

    It’s taken me a decade of counseling and radfem studies to finally come to the conclusion that it’s not MY looks that cause the problem. It’s MEN who cause the problem (even the problem of other women turning on or attacking me).

    Men are our biggest problem. Not our looks.

  20. Sarah

    Also, if you have +0 gay, but don’t have a buzz cut, some of the menfolk (at least the menfolk around me that I don’t get to choose, namely my colleagues) justify their sexual harassment with the man-logic of “we are inherently sexually incomaptible, therefore, I can stare at/comment on your ass with impunity. Damn it feels good to be me!”

  21. phio gistic

    Thanks Village Voice for asking that important question “Is it OK to treat this woman like a piece of meat” and then unironically rating her “rack” in the first paragraph.
    Cue Vivid on the scene offering her a role in a porn movie in 3, 2, 1…

  22. Notorious Ph.D.

    Jill’s last full paragraph sums up nicely the reason that I (het) am halfway through year two of my dating sabbatical. The game is rigged, and while I can’t opt out of patriarchy entirely, I can opt out of at least that bit of it.

  23. Panic

    Oh, absolutely, Jill. Mine was a flip, eye-rolling comment directed to dude nation, prompted by the exact conditions you describe. No disagreement intended!

  24. Panic

    To men, women really are pitt bull terriors raised from birth only to kill each other – never to harm their ‘owners’ doing the evil.
    Wow. Thank you. I was actually having a conversation about this phenomenon earlier, and you sum it up incredibly well.

  25. nails

    I hate that management can punish women for their appearance. They make women think that there is a correct way to look. What a joke. You are either unprofessional because you don’t try to please dudes with attractiveness or you are unprofessional for being too attractive for the dudes to handle.

  26. Ashley

    “In that case, her being “not” “hot” would have resulted in her termination.”

    I agree with you. I think it works both ways. I didn’t mean it’s harder to be “hot,” I just meant when you are, it’s harder to hate men because they’re typically nicer to you when clothing is on than women are. I know it’s hard to be unfeminine and dykey. It’s a hatestorm.

  27. eb

    “…it’s harder to hate men because they’re typically nicer to you when clothing is on than women are.”

    ??? Wha???

    Apparently there is an in between dress code we all must adhere to – sexy enough for the male to want to fuck but not too sexy that it looks like the woman wants to fuck.

    Because, as we all know, it’s all about the man wanting to fuck and all about keeping the woman from wanting to fuck.

  28. slade

    Nails said:
    “I hate that management can punish women for their appearance.”

    I was fired for simply saying that certain Dress Codes were implemented so males wouldn’t risk an non-climatic erection.

    It was a joke to a co-worker and Management overheard.

    I’m still on unemployment. Of course, Management was sad to see me go since I had done such a good job.

    I couldn’t make this shit up.

  29. yttik

    What you wear or how you look is irrelevant. There isn’t a dress code, there is only a submission code. If you fail to remember that your role is to stroke male egos, you’re going to have problems. This woman’s “crime” wasn’t about how she dressed or how her co-workers were distracted by her appearance, it was about her wanting to do a good job and bring in new bank clients. They tried to knee cap her at every turn, so she wouldn’t do a better job than them.

    The sexuality theme is almost like a diversion, it sends women into a tailspin of confusion while they try to figure out, am I too sexy, not sexy enough, professional, unprofessional, what standard am I not meeting here? It doesn’t matter because it’s not your sexuality or a lack there of that makes you a threat, it’s your mere existence.

  30. Ashley

    “??? Wha???”

    I can only answer this with a whaaa? tf of my own. have you never observed catty female behavior? I can break it down for the new at school.

    If you are a “hot” woman, and you’re not in feminist company, and it’s a social setting, not a sexual setting, the temperature with other women is basically freezing.

    ?

  31. Ashley

    p.s. whereas men pander to you because they want to sleep with you.

    have you never observed this about human beings?

  32. mearl

    The problem is with the male managers who can’t stop porn flicks from dancing in their heads even if they look at a woman in a parka and ski pants. Lorenzana pointed out that there were tellers who wore skimpier clothes than she wore, but that was fine. She wasn’t coming to work wearing a hot pink mini tube dress, and she did her job well. It’s not her fault that she’s attractive with or without makeup, in a suit or not. She got slammed by a crew of men who view women as either fuckable or un-fuckable, and by a society that encourages women who fit a certain physical profile into professions where they get paid to provide a constant stream of jerkoff material for hetero men rather than just do the same jobs as other women. At the same time, this society keeps extracting billions of dollars from women by attacking their self-esteem and coercing us into buying and trying every product on the market to try and reach the “fuckable” standard.

    What happens when you flip the situation? I’ve worked with guys who cannot hide their bodies or looks no matter WHAT they wear. Do they get fawned over? A bit, yes. Do they get fired for DISTRACTING the hetero female employees/managers because they arrive at work wearing clothes? No. Do the hetero female employees/managers treat them like people? Yes. Do the hetero female employees/managers lock themselves in their office and jerk off during breaks, sexually harass the hawt males, or fail to do their work because of this blinding hawtness? Do the het females stumble around in a blind haze, unable to think about anything but sex when the hawt males are present? Society will have to deal with my sneering doubt about that one.

    Oh, how I blame the effing patriarchy.

  33. Sylvie

    She forgot, a woman’s place is not in the kitchen, (or even in the bedroom), it’s in the wrong.

  34. allhellsloose

    Re Mearl, I think some women do gawp at het males and stumble around in a daze. I’ve seen it with mine own fair eyes. However, if they do persue, they face a more imperiled consequence i.e. they endanger their employment. Males rarely get this form of ‘punishment’.

    What’s game for the goose certainly isn’t game for the gander. Oh and there’s the ageing. How very DARE women have the audacity to put a wrinkled face and sagging body before society.

  35. Comrade Svilova

    What never ceases to amaze me is that so many men embrace the stereotype that they are creatures who literally cannot control their desires and are stunned to imbecility by a beautiful woman [sexclassmember]. Why wouldn’t they want to claim a little better vision of their gender?

    I guess because being able to claim “I couldn’t help it” saves their asses when they get accused of abusing [raping] a woman?

    IBTP. But what a ridiculous identity to embrace. Seriously.

  36. speedbudget

    Comrade Svilova, I had that discussion with a friend recently. She was positing that women who join the military and then bring rape and harassment charges really have no right to do so cause they joined the boy’s club and they should just expect that kind of treatment.

    I countered with asking her if men are so incapable of controlling themselves, if they are at the mercy of their whims, wouldn’t we all be better off if we just keep them caged up? Isn’t there a minimum behavioral expectation when in public? If a man can’t even act like a regular adult in public, should we trust him with weapons systems? I followed up with pointing out that I think I have a better opinion of men than she does, if she really believes them incapable of self-control.

    She didn’t really have an answer for that.

  37. ew_nc

    Love the equation. Who says chicks can’t do math?

  38. Notorious Ph.D.

    Comrade, what you’re pointing out is part of the patriarchy equation that lets men disclaim responsibility for asshole behavior towards women — and, not incidentally, claim that patriarchy doesn’t exist — by invoking the “power” that beautiful women have. I got this line of argument once from a friend who was cited his regular attendance at strip clubs as proof that women were really the ones who had power in this society. I wish I’d thought at the time to ask him who decided *which* women.

    The thing is, he actually believed it. He didn’t know how sexist he was, and he was absolutely miserable.

  39. Notorious Ph.D.

    (By the way, IBtP for the sexist Maxim-style photo shoot that provided the main photos for the article.)

  40. Comrade Svilova

    by invoking the “power” that beautiful women have

    Oh, yeah. That tired old stalking horse. It’s so cool to be part of a gender such that IF I conform to certain beauty standards by accident of birth and enormous personal effort, time, and cost, I would actually have the power to make men’s d*cks go hard. That’s some pretty freaking awesome power there. Like magic, only cooler.

    [/snark]

  41. Alexa

    Lmao ^

    Saying we have power because of our potential fuckability if we wear x, act x and tick other boxes isn’t really power. No true power is ever conditional, or as non-stable or fleeting as that attributed to women.

    It’s like how psychos blame their mums – attributing this sudden power to women is their idea of a joke. A smirk as we’re back in line.

  42. FemmeForever

    I’m so sorry for what happened to Ms. Lorenzana. I, too was fired for not doing femininity right, though for a different subcategory than she. Her story proves the beauty myth beyond a shadow of a doubt. It is so obvious to those few of us who have eyes to see that all the shaming of women’s physical appearance (10,000 times a day) is just a distraction to keep us off balance, to keep women policing and comparing each other’s bodies, to keep our focus off of the reality of maleness as opposed to the totally false public image of maleness (happy-go-lucky, well-meaning, nice guy, lover of women). NOT. I so wish that women at large could re-focus themselves and participate in the solution instead of being a big part of the problem (IBTP). Men will never be reformed or have some sort of intellectual epiphany. I think a lot of women have a really hard time grasping what hatred looks like even though they have experienced nothing but from men since birth.

  43. humanbein

    The hateful idea that women have so much power over men is especially embraced by all the best Nigels and Nice Guys. The corollary idea is that women make the rules in relationships. It leads to the triumph of male logic, that women really rule the world, are indeed the true power behind the throne of man dominant, the hand that rocks the cradle and on and on until we’re all vomiting from the fatuous self serving patronizing asshattery of it all.

    The reason men feel this way is a deliciously passive aggressive piece of evilness more subtle than some might be able to detect. It is what I like to call the overreaction to privilege thwarted.

    What any man will identify and define as a woman being in charge, or empowered, will, upon feminist examination, reveal itself to be some male privilege challenged. The feminist who wishes to be free from being raped translates in a man’s mind as stuck up bitches who refuse to spread their legs whenever a porn-addled mind finds itself in a frenzy of overstimulated desire. The mere idea that a woman is unavailable to a man for use as he sees fit is a power that women have over men to them, but is actually a male privilege – the right to rape whomever he sees fit – thwarted.

  44. janna

    I think a lot of women have a really hard time grasping what hatred looks like even though they have experienced nothing but from men since birth.

    I think they have a hard time grasping what hatred looks like BECAUSE they’ve experienced it their whole lives. It seems like more and more, acts of hatred have to be especially heinous to get noticed by society at large.

  45. wiggles

    “p.s. whereas men pander to you because they want to sleep with you. ”

    Until they figure out that you have no inclination to sleep with them. Then you’re a superficial dingbat who only goes for good-looking jerks rather than nice guys like them. You should be taught a lesson for casting a diabolical spell on them with your feminine wiles, forcing the poor dears to buy you drinks and laugh excessively hard at your jokes.

  46. nightgigjo

    BINGO, janna. Why would we consider street harassment (whatever the supposed hot-not impetus) as anything but “normal” if that’s what we’ve always had? It takes a radical feminist whack-to-the-head to realize that all women are treated this way, no matter the value of x.

    I’m sorry for what happened to Lorenzana. It is so bog-dammed TYPICAL, the whole play-out.

    Also, Sylvie got it absolutely right:

    “She forgot, a woman’s place is not in the kitchen, (or even in the bedroom), it’s in the wrong.”

  47. Michele

    @yttk – The diversion factor in trying to figure out a rigged game is spot on! We are screwed no matter what- whether we’re “hot” or “not” and so how does one proceed? Can we go live on Savage Death Island with Twisty to escape the patriarchy (please, pretty please)? If so, I’d like to bring my 5 year old daughter along. She asked me just this morning if it hurt when I plucked my face (this to camoflage the fact that I have a monobrow, mustache, newly formed goatee & beard). I didn’t have a good answer, not knowing how to explain that it hurt my heart more than my face to live in a world where the me-that-I-am will never be enough because I have a vagina. She then asked WHY I had to pluck and my response, “Because we live in a society where women are not supposed to grow hair, except on their heads, but our bodies are made to gorw hair in lots of places, so I have to get rid of it because it’s expected so I can keep the roof over our heads and the food in our bellies” made me nauseous. Why indeed???!! It’s one thing to assimilate for your own survival, then when you have to explain it to a 5 year old, suddenly it’s fucking ridiculous!! I want out!

  48. slythwolf

    the “power” that beautiful women have.

    Oh yes, the “power” to “force” someone to rape me merely by existing. I totally use that power to my advantage every day! And that’s why women are ruling the world!

    You know, instead of the “power” to make dicks hard, I prefer the power to make them wilt.

  49. Ashley

    “It’s not her fault that she’s attractive with or without makeup, in a suit or not. She got slammed by a crew of men who view women as either fuckable or un-fuckable, and by a society that encourages women who fit a certain physical profile into professions where they get paid to provide a constant stream of jerkoff material for hetero men rather than just do the same jobs as other women. At the same time, this society keeps extracting billions of dollars from women by attacking their self-esteem and coercing us into buying and trying every product on the market to try and reach the “fuckable” standard. ”

    A fuckin men, sister.

  50. tinfoil hattie

    Aaah, Michele, I sympathize. This morning on the way to our neighborhood pool, I said, “My legs are so hairy!” My 9 y.o. son said, “So what?” I said, “So nothing, I guess.” He said, “Who says you have to shave? PATRIARCHY?”

    I had a tiny, one-millionth of a sliver of hope after he said that.

  51. Jill

    “The mere idea that a woman is unavailable to a man for use as he sees fit is a power that women have over men to them, but is actually a male privilege – the right to rape whomever he sees fit – thwarted.

    Most excellent blaming, HB.

  52. hatemale

    Panic
    June 5, 2010 at 9:58 am
    X amount gay (the last value almost always = 0).
    Unless there’s a man watching.

    Panic/Jill:
    Sexual activity between women for male titillation has caused us to coin the term “sapphotainment”. I hope you find it as useful as I do.

    Yours in blame

  53. Jill

    “to camoflage the fact that I have a monobrow, mustache, newly formed goatee & beard”

    Not that you were asking for beauty tips, but if you need to pass as feminine, fuck the pluck and just shave that shit! With a Braun electric self-cleaning shaver! I’ve been doing it to my soul patch, handlebar mustache, muttonchops, and chin shrubbery for years. Guess what, shaving with a “man’s” shaver doesn’t make your facial hair grow back twice as thick after all. That, it turns out, is what menopause is for.

  54. yttik

    “It is what I like to call the overreaction to privilege thwarted.”

    Humanbein is correct. When privilege is thwarted it is often viewed as someone being abusive and controlling. You are abusing someone by not making them lunch or by refusing to have sex with them, or simply not wanting to sit down and be friendly with a stranger.

    This woman was “abusing” all the men in her office, not by distracting them because of the way she looked, but by simply existing and potentially making them look bad by being successful in her work.

  55. Larkspur

    Hey, Jill! Braun self-cleaning razor, huh? I just put that on my shopping list. My chin hairs are annoying me. I do not think they are really hair. I think they are Dynel, and I blame my Barbie dolls.

    I think you should get some kind of Braun kickback, if not an entire advertising campaign, starring us.

  56. Ashley

    “Until they figure out that you have no inclination to sleep with them.”

    At which point everyone hates you= Ms. Lorenanza.

    Right, classic separate and attack.

  57. Lady K

    Is it bad that I’m *ever so slightly* optimistic that “LOL WHAT DOES SHE NEED CITIBANK FOR SHE CAN JUST POLISH MY DICK” didn’t show up in the first five comments on that article?

    It is?

    Dangit.

  58. Carolyn

    Thanks for posting that, Jill–there was just a post on female facial hair in Sociological Images (reading it and your blog together often provides useful overlaps) and I pointed out there that not only are we supposed to be disgusted and horrified by our facial hair, we’re supposed to do something about it in the most painful and inconvenient way possible, and not just shave it off every morning like billions of men do.

    http://contexts.org/socimages/2010/05/31/women-your-hideous-is-more-obvious-than-you-think/

  59. SelinaK

    Right before reading this story, watched an MSNBC program on a horrific murder where the star witness was slammed by the brother of the victim for her skirt length, saying it hurt the trial because it made her look like ‘a tramp’.
    So, along with the right amount of make-up and sexiness in order to not be fired from one’s job, I’d like to know what the proper skirt length is for maintaining one’s crediblity in a murder trial? I wouldn’t want to let a murderer go free on account of my trampy skirt…

  60. Embee

    “It leads to the triumph of male logic, that women really rule the world, are indeed the true power behind the throne of man dominant, the hand that rocks the cradle and on and on until we’re all vomiting from the fatuous self serving patronizing asshattery of it all.”

    humanbein, you have posted one of my favorite comments of all time by combining a delicious, smart-ass comment followed by insightful analysis (about thwarted privilege).

    Thank you for the entertainment + enlightenment.

  61. CrazyQuilter

    i feel so badly for Ms. Lorenzana. The hypocrisy really is mind-blowing! So, it looks like dudebros don’t really like it when women in real life resemble the women in their sweaty porntastic fantasies. they think the women in porn are there to be used and then casually tossed away, so when they encounter women who look like that in real life (and, um, this can mean ANY conventionally-attractive woman, apparently), it confuses them, because these women do not fit into the little Dudebro-approved Sexxxy Masturbation Fodder or Not Worthy of Masturbating To boxes. And when these women make it clear that they don’t like the Dudebro du Jour leering at them or making harassing remarks, these Dudebros get mad. The ‘hawt’ women in real life aren’t like the ‘hawt’ women in their porno movies! How DARE they be thinking, feeling human beings, when all the poor dudebro wants is to rest his eyes on a Sexxay Lady!

    so OF COURSE she was distracting her bosses. what with dressing in well-cut clothing that fit her, and having an attractive female body, and all. I mean, just LOOK how she dressed! Why, she had the audacity to wear PENCIL SKIRTS. and TURTLE-NECKS. You know how dudez just can’t control themselves in the face of Sexxxay clothes like that. What’s this self-control thing everyone keeps talking about? they couldn’t help themselves. and it’s completely her fault. totally. yep. it’s HER fault that those Supreme Douchebros couldn’t stop leering at her.

    holy crapsicles, i cannot even IMAGINE the levels of self-centeredness that it would require to make a statement like that–”That woman is DISTRACTING US with her body!” it’s like, “That kitten i stomped to death got BLOOD on my NEW BOOTS!”

  62. dayita

    So now that it’s a year later, I’m finding myself wondering what happened to this story? Has the patriarchy won and just buried Lorenzana till the end of time?

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