Aug 04 2010

Poetry Korner with Jennifer

Today we revive a dormant tradition here at I Blame the Patriarchy, the tradition of showcasing blamer poetry, which tradition is dormant only because nobody has put a pome in the comments in a while. This one is particularly fine. It’s a goddam sonnet.

Jennifer Weild
August 4, 2010 at 1:01 pm

Ask her nothing, dudely dudes, for she
before all else does thee in truth despise.
Do not protest thy honesty. Twisty
knows well the lies thy phallus signifies.

Aloft above her ranch the boiling hawks
the smallish, brownish birds and mice do hunt,
while Twisty Jill o’er interwebs doth stalk
the stupid man who dares her wield her gun.

Do not, dear dudes, assume sincerity
will shield thee from the spit of her contempt.
She can to thee attribute no real parity.
Your penis by itself leaves you exempt.

Tremble then, dear man, before you post,
or your head surrender to her cruelty’s boast.


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  1. Notorious Ph.D.

    I bow before Jennifer’s awesomeness.

  2. Citizen Taqueau

    What’s that I smell? Could it be REVOLUTION? Between my online rants in defense of Kelly and Antoine Dodson of Huntsville, Alabam., a healthy dose of tequila, and this gorgeous pome, I’m ready to march. Hey, isn’t there this abortion ban for women with life-threatening illnesses going on or something? What will it take to get us into the streets?

  3. Ma'Whis'Ki


    Believe me when I say I do not care–
    I have a thyrsus for a heart, and ivy’d hair.
    Suffering was my lot, but now no more;
    I’ve wrecked the house and broken down the door!
    I’ve trashed the closets, cut up all your clothes,
    And smashed the china, raining fearsome blows
    Against my servitude and pain, which now will die
    As I chew on vengeful berries, mountain-high…
    War of the sexes? Bring it! It’s my meat!
    It will do me real good to hear you bleat
    As I choke your spotted ego with bare hands
    And skin it as my trophy! Your demands

    For new, young things will sure their silence keep,
    As I pull your heart out through your chest-wall
    while you sleep.

  4. AileenWuornos

    Wow, I wish I could write poetry, especially sonnets.

  5. Sylvie

    Good bloody grief, that sonnet’s brought a tear to my eye – also I want some of those boiling hawks.

  6. Magpie_seven

    A thursday morning, bare of rest and joy
    save for the moments snatch’d to browse the net
    but what to view? A blog aimed to destroy
    the patriarchal crap we can’t forget.

    A sonnet! praising Twisty’s wond’rous ire
    towards posessors of the sainted glans
    but poetry like this cannot inspire
    just aggravate those women who are trans.

    So now, my thursday morning bleak once more
    I tire, and find I have not the élan
    to elegantly state a point that’s sore:
    a penis, everyone, makes not a man.

    (as implied above, the reverse is true-
    a woman’s not by vulva made. Thank you.)

  7. janicen

    Jennifer, your talent is inspiring.

  8. buttercup

    Oh, for a poetry week here on Savage Death Island.

  9. Barbara P

    Love it! How inspirational!

  10. Barbara P

    Can “Poetry Week”
    Request all comments in verse?
    That would be so cool.

  11. procrastinatrix

    Amazing, Jennifer. You clearly know Savage Death Island very well.

    I find it continually surprising that earnest dudes seek out this website, unable to learn from her multitude of posts (and commenting guidelines) about her lack of desire to teach earnest dudes a damn thing, or hear their opinions about a damn thing. Thus, Jill does not “stalk”, rather, the dudes “flock”.

    This is in no way a commentary on the poem, which is far beyond anything my puny talent could create. Rock on!

  12. Comrade PhysioProf

    There once was a blamer named Jill
    Her lobe was obstreperally ill
    Smacking d00ds who were wackos
    Chowing down on some tacos
    And margaritas to keep her mood chill

  13. Bushfire


  14. sargassosea

    Damn! CPP just stole my limmerickie thunder. I’ll just have to save mine for Poetry Weeks Limmerick Lalapalooza then.

  15. Brigid

    Awesome. I anxiously await poetry week, should it happen. That sonnet? Was fantastic.

  16. Rainbow Girl

    Hark! Observe the spinster aunt
    with curl of lip and glare of eye
    upon misogynists extant
    release yon insults wry.

    Ahoy! A purifying fire!
    We liberated Tacquoaux cry.
    Cold hell before sarcasm tire
    or feminism die.

  17. Fleur Pillager

    Zounds. An Elizabethan sonnet. With expert enjambment, to say nothing of the image patterns. Welcome home, it says to me.

  18. MPMR

    Asked to

    Jabs at every corner:
    In the newspaper, the inbox, the grocery store.
    Leering at us, lying to us, loathing us. But we
    Live, laugh, and love.

  19. niki

    Instead of gab on fashion’s shoes
    we come to yap about the news

    Here ye, it’s here we
    see society’s sick
    Tread here to have your say if ye may
    if subversive discourse is your true desire

    But if you’re Chaddish you’ll die quick
    in a thicket lit with
    rapid feminist fire

  20. Comrade PhysioProf

    Damn! CPP just stole my limmerickie thunder.

    Limericks: poems for people who hate fucken poetry.

  21. MPMR

    CPP: That’s similar to why I did an acrostic. Poems you learned to write in third grade.

  22. Comrade Svilova

    Magpie_Seven, great poetry writing and thanks for the reminder. As Humanbein was talking about lately, it’s the identification as “A Man” that usually spells trouble, not biology. Despite what Evo Pyschers would say.

  23. Barbara P

    That Jill over there say
    a blamer should want better things for women
    and not apologize for rape.
    Well, sometimes there’s such a thing as “gray rape”
    and the pendulum has swung too far.

    And ain’t I a blamer?
    Look at me!
    And listen!
    I have no other place
    To express my views
    Except this web site.
    And if you don’t publish my comment
    You will censor me
    And my unoriginal thoughts.

    And ain’t I a blamer?
    I have a wife and a daughter
    And I care about them pretty much.
    It’s only the bitchy women I hate.
    I’m just warning you all not to be like them!
    And ain’t I a blamer?

    How does feminism even exist?
    Because of men, that’s how!
    Who gave you all a right to vote?
    Feminists had nothing to do with it!
    It was men and their innate rationality.

    Men know what’s best for women!
    Why can’t you accept that?

    And ain’t I a blamer?

    (Please Note: I am aware this is an inverted meaning from the poem I am taking it from, “Ain’t I a Woman?”)

  24. Solniger

    Mi-tee fine Jennifer!

  25. janicen

    Chad said, “I must play this game”
    To show the gals I too can blame.
    The entitled perspective
    Abridged his invective
    As Jill’s keystroke denied him acclaim.

  26. wiggles

    Veraswami – Amanda Marcotte at Pandagon writes up some good morning-after Mad Men analysis that has nothing to do with the clothes, except maybe a passing musing on why all the fuss about the clothes when so many interesting plot points and character developments are going on.

    I wouldn’t be surprised if the show’s gotten more young women reading The Feminine Mystique either, since it’s frequently cited as an influence.

  27. wiggles

    Oh dammit wrong post. Sorry. My browser has this stupid scrolling “feature.”

  28. Lurker Lyn

    *applauds Magpie_seven*

    Not only do you speak the truth, but that is undoubtedly the fastest anyone has ever written a sonnet

  29. Antoinette Niebieszczanski

    Like singing, the writing of poimes is an art that eludes me. Good ones (like Jennifer’s) give me a happy.

  30. Gertrude Strine

    But is it art?

  31. Jodie

    Oh wow! More, more!

  32. Susan

    Lovely,pithy pomes. Thank you all.

  33. Barbara P

    Poetry does not make us all agree.
    But makes the discourse sweeter, verily.

    Too bad it can’t be forced
    That would wreak the purity, of course,
    Of this great post with life all its own,
    Leaving non-poetic blamers now to drown.

    This blamer, “I”, would benefit
    From such a mandate, and quit
    My tendency to use old trite cliches,
    And think “outside the box” in other ways.

    The time it takes to craft a work as this
    And pow’r of brain
    Weeds out the foulist trollish tripe
    And dillutes the tendency to snipe

    Surely to this blog would come no harm
    With just a minor “Twisty” of the arm
    To at least consider writing stuff in verse
    Preventing harsher wounds for us to nurse?

    But I wonder, over time, what is the chance
    That comments will allow interpr’tive dance?

  34. Notorious Ph.D.

    God DAMN, but blamers are talented folks. ((wild applause))

  35. Cycles

    excuse me ladies when
    dropped by savage death island
    to illuminate
    you would not flick aside my wisdom
    like frisee from an otherwise
    tasty salad

  36. Cycles

    (a dude’s lament)

  37. nails

    Poetry is terrible. Do not want.

  38. Comrade Svilova

    I wake in the morning
    So much work to do
    I come on the ‘net
    –just a minute or two!

    I open my browser
    and what do I find?
    Some feminist verse
    To embiggen my mind!

  39. redpeachmoon

    Dear Jill,
    Your site has become my solace; the only place on the web where I feel comfortable and not pissed-off. The brilliant and hilarious writing help me make it through the day. I have new blaming sensors that constantly ring off, and way too many Nigels and wanna-be-overlords in my life. Yesterday my brother took me to a ‘sports bar’ for dinner where “The Miller Highlife Girls” were about to make an appearance and I knew I would have to flee. Luckily we left before their arrival. It’s lonely out here! Any advice for me? Or like we say in Ag.AA, ‘just keep coming’
    Thanks for all you do. And fondest regards,

  40. admirerofemily

    @redpeachmoon. I too experience same enhanced blaming sensors.

    Having read Ms Psmith’s recent close textual analysis of an Email Sent In By A Dude, whereby she pointed out a dude’s sense of dudely entitlement, I then went off to a conference where I was sat at a table with one dude and four women.

    Said dude proceeded to avail our table with his manly wisdom. It was fascinating to watch, somewhat like an anthropologist. Finally I had to pounce and smack him down, thinking all the while of the blametariat cheering me on.

  41. PandanCat

    Next time some dyspeptic windbag begins whining to you about how shrill and mean you are, switch up your blaming and hit ’em with a pome! A well-aimed pome is at least as good as a pointy stick in deflating these kinds of sitatuions.

  42. speedbudget

    Deep rapture of men.
    Oh, god, not again.
    What about the rest of us?

  43. TwissB

    My favorite so far: Barbara P’s elegant “Ain’t I a blamer?”

  44. joy

    This is so lovely. If anyone doubts the solidarity of women, or the humorfulness of feminists, they need only to visit here.

    The only things missing from this collection of pometry are: “You May Say I’m a Blamer”, set to the tune of “Imagine,” and “Blaming Dudes Machine”, set to the tune of “Yellow Submarine.”

    Both songs can be found in the archives. I forget which blamer did what, but they are both stitch-worthy little ditties.

  45. Killerchick

    La mort du patriarcat

    Nous blâmons les mecs suffisants et fats,
    Les hommes insensibles comme des crapauds,
    Et tous ceux qui aiment le patriarcat :
    Voleurs, violeurs, méchants et salauds!

    Blâmant avec goût, et avec ferveur,
    Elle critique les mots tricheurs et malins
    Et révèle pour nous les mensonges au cœur
    Des textes écrits par des êtres masculins.

    Ses discours profonds, ardents et sincères,
    Allumant les feux révolutionnaires
    Parmi nous, « les femmes », tristes et lassées,

    Font naitre le désir sublime de défaire
    Le système qui nous a ainsi classées.
    Ô reine des blâmeurs ! Tante célibataire !

    By the A(u)nti(e)-Baudelaire.

    I was a Modern Languages major. (It’s like being an English major, but we do it backwards and in high heels.) I’m a long-time blamer; first-time poster too, hauled out of lurkitude by the temptation of writing a blaming poem for Aunt Twisty, whom I believe also to be a sometime Francophile.

  46. Jill

    Tante célibataire !

    Seriously? Célibataire is “spinster”? It sounds so prudey en français.

    Nice work. I can remember just enough French to almost recall that Baudelaire pome. But then it just disappears into a deep divan.

  47. Killerchick

    I’m afraid ‘célibataire’ is indeed the best I can do in that langue barbare. I agree that it fails entirely to conjure the character of ‘spinster’, which is altogether a great word with its deceptively polite and cozy double susurration offset by the threatening plosive ‘p’.

    There is a derogatory term too – ‘vieille fille’ – which in addition to offering a Gallic version of ‘old maid’ doesn’t escape the disturbingly misogynistic colloquial connotations of ‘une fille’ as a whore. A spinster is that member of the sex class reviled as too old to be fuckable for a few sous, let alone marriageable. It is certainly less prudey than ‘célibataire’, but also more blameworthy.

    Tant(e) pis. Je blâme, il faut le dire, le patriarcat.

  48. Hermionemone

    Tante célibataire !

    Seriously? Célibataire is “spinster”? It sounds so prudey en français.

    A spinster is a never-married woman of any age, ‘one who spins’, and theoretically a non-pejorative term. Were she to become an ‘old spinster’, the world harbors suspicions regarding why she is yet unmarried, with negative connotations, within the patriarchal worldview that women have positive value (if that) only when married, or marriageable.

    Perhaps instead of spinning yarn for textile production, we might take the meaning of ‘spin’ in ‘spinster aunt’ to mean turning, rotating, revolving. Dare one say ‘twisting’? Dare one even say ‘revolution mongering’?

    Spinster Aunt could be the oh-so-alliterative Tante Rotatante, Révolvante or perhaps Revoluciante, by the power of one’s poetic ‘double-oh’ license. Or would that be a ‘Humpty-Dumpty’ license (words mean exactly what one chooses them to mean)? But you’d need a different rhyme like brillante, piquante or édificante to go with it.

  49. Killerchick

    Hermionemone, I have taken a liberty or two with ‘blâmer’, which is infrequently used in the context, but I kept it for sound, so why not? I love the idea of a ‘Tante rotatante’ (not a member of the Rotary Club, it should be said). Though we are perhaps slipping from Symbolism into Surrealism with a ‘Tante révolvante’.

  50. Jill

    My sibling Tidy is pals with an octogenarian Catholic priest who always refers to me as “the maiden aunt.”

  51. Antoinette Niebieszczanski

    When I was my nephew’s godmother (ha!), my sister’s parish priest referred to me as the “spinster aunt”. Old fart. Now, a course, I wear it proudly.

  52. Lara

    Fucking mind-blowing. So glad to be back reading this blog.

  53. Drew

    Magpie_seven, so happy to not be the first one to bring this up (the genital-based Transphobia in the original poem). Lurker Lyn and Comrade Svilova, thanks for echoing as well. But…no one else thought that was important enough to include in their comment?

  54. Shinila

    No one else noticed any transphobia Drew.

    Je deteste guilt trippers aboard feminist sites. Mostly, cos there’s grounds to think them haters just trying to get past the moderating policy. They try to ‘out-feminist’ and put to shame other feminists.

  55. Shinila

    I think the people who guilt trip feminists find the thought of anyone actually defending women *so disgusting*, so they call out the myriad other ‘more important’ oppressions we should be spending energy on. To defend women is a waste of energy and a disgusting act of non-conformity.

    As a black woman, I can honestly say I suffer more as a woman than a black person. Women are the most systematically oppressed people, historically, on this planet. Not black people, not disabled people, women are the scum of the Earth. So it chides when people bring up transphobia et al – as if women are actually discussing our problems. It happens so often in feminism, the seconding of women’s voices to other more important oppressions.

    Women’s oppression is such a disgusting taboo – it feels like we have to bring up the oppression of rocks in place of it.

  56. nails

    Drew- some of us blog about it instead.


  57. Drew

    Thanks for that, and I really appreciate the discussions in the comments!

  58. Noanodyne

    It’s phobic when the Westboro Baptist freaks say “god hates fags.” It’s phobic when Martina Hingis declares her fear of being in the same dressing room with a lesbian tennis player. It’s phobic when conservative wingnuts claim that legalizing lesbian marriage will lead to marriage between people and animals.

    It is not phobic to point out that transactivists use familiar derailing techniques to make any and all conversations about them, especially when they do so on a radical feminist blog and to a post that is as clear as it could possibly be in its intent.

    The tactic that mp_seven and Drew have used is no different than any other “what about the men” tactic. And it’s also exactly like the many, many times Isabel came on here and tried desperately to turn any discussion of racism into a discussion of classism.

    People with penises have caused the vast majority of misery for the people who don’t have them since time immemorial, all while assuring us that we just didn’t really understand, or it was just some men, or telling us we should really be talking about other things. Changing the conversation to be about your favorite people is just like a “not my Nigel” comment.

    Radical feminists are not phobic for pointing out these derailing tactics. They are not phobic for explaining that there is more to being female in a patriarchal culture than someone born and raised male can understand simply because they believe they can. Radical feminists are not phobic for pointing out that one does not simply remove and discard their lifelong privilege, gender training, and attendant behavior like they would an article of clothing. And we are not phobic in pointing out that, even with a lot of work, many people with lifelong privilege (oh, I don’t know, like most white people), usually don’t believe they have it and continue acting like their behavior isn’t problematic.

    And claiming someone is phobic, instead of considering their actual arguments, is also a derailing tactic. If you want to refute any of the arguments that radical feminists put forward with meaningful answers, then by all means do so. If you’re going to cower behind a shaming and silencing tactic like calling us phobic, you will be treated like the derailing troll you are.

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