Oct 19 2010

UAE , US pretty much sympatico re: domestic violence

Hey, patriarchy-deniers! Sit ‘n’ spin on this:

Dr Ahmed al Kubaisi, the head of Sharia Studies at UAE University and Baghdad University, told the National that beating one’s wife is at times necessary to preserve family bonds.

“If a wife committed something wrong, a husband can report her to police,” Dr al Kubaisi told the newspaper. “But sometimes she does not do a serious thing or he does not want to let others know; when it is not good for the family. In this case, hitting is a better option.”

What’s old Ahmed al Kubaisi talking about? Why, the recent ruling of the highest court in the whole United Arab Emirates, that’s what. Those fucking fucks have decided that it’s A-OK for a dude to slap his bitches and his tiny tots around, as long as he doesn’t leave marks. Just like here in the US!

I’m not even kidding. I saw it on the Internet.

Incidentally, governments of the USA, UK, Germany, and Japan are all big pals with the UAE. They sell us oil, and we look the other way on the whole human rights abuses dealio. Awesome.

[via Pam Spaulding]


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  1. tinfoil hattie

    Say, I don’t wanna start up the ol’ BDSM wars again, but the following comment was posted at the original link, apparently with no irony intended:

    Umm…as a practitioner of BDSM, who has
    made cash money by beating the crap out of boys, girls and some folks in-between, sometimes on video-tape (I’m old) may I say that the association to religious fundamentalists of any stripe is really uncool.

    We are a sick, sick society. Please! Don’t taint good ol’ beatings by painting them with the RELIGION brush! Anything but THAT!

  2. wiggles

    They sell us oil, and we look the other way on the whole human rights abuses dealio. Awesome.

    Oh it’s not human rights, it’s women’s rights. Totally different thing.
    Remember the Saudi woman who was lashed for being gang-raped when some dudes found her talking to a guy in a car a couple years ago? Intershit commentary was all, “well that’s the way they roll there,” until it was pointed out that the dude she was in the car with was also gang-raped and lashed for it. Then suddenly it’s a real problem.

  3. Summerspeaker

    Yeah, that’s thoroughly depressing if not at all surprising. A close friend of mine recently suffered serious injury at the hands of dudely violence. At least the cops here have thrown the culprit in jail, though it’s unclear if she’ll be safe from him in the future particularly because of the complicated family dynamic.

    As always, I blame the goddamn patriarchy.

  4. theeagle

    It’s times like these that I wish I was as brave as that woman from Canada going around kicking men right in their junk, it would be as close as I could get to some relief from this patriarchal horseshit.

  5. SomeoneElse

    What’s horrible is that the folks writing this law genuinely believed they did so TO PROTECT WOMEN. See, he can’t leave marks. They’ve raised the bar n’ shit.

  6. Paula

    Ugh, I made the mistake of reading the first 5 comments on the original article and almost puked up my dinner. And to think that I was tempted to apply for jobs in the UAE. Screw that.

  7. ginger

    Y’know, I was really confused about this post before I realized I’d read “UAW” for “UAE”. (Especially since I was under the impression Aunt Twisty was on the nothing-to-lose-but-your-chains end of workplace issues.)


  8. speedbudget

    Cast your jaundiced eye on this:

    The man said he accidentally hit his wife while attempting to discipline his daughter.

    Is that like accidentally killing someone by banging her head repeatedly against the wall?

    Also this gem:

    Under Islamic law, a man is to try admonition and abstaining from sleeping with his wife as means of discipline before resorting to beating.

    It’s a fine line. Acting just bad enough so your asshole husband won’t prong you while not acting bad enough that he is allowed to hit you, either on purpose or by missing the other chick in the room.

  9. speedbudget

    Oh, dang. All my beautiful html, and my comment goes in moderation. It was a really good comment too. I should learn to copy and paste.

    You know who I blame?

  10. Fictional Queen

    The things I understand from this asshole’s bullshit is this:
    1.Husbands can’t talk to their wives like adults.If they “do something wrong”,then they need to report them to the police.As if women are stupid,unruly children.
    2.”beating one’s wife is at times necessary to preserve family bonds.”Then FUCK family bonds!What kind of a fragile,dictatorial family needs violence to preserve its bonds?!
    Oh,a patriarchal one,of course.
    3.Men are pathetic,empty creatures unable to love or to communicate and therefore need to counteract that by hitting women.I suppose if these husbands were to sit down and talk to their wives,the subjugated women would realize what despisable creatures they are.
    These things make me hate the family.The whole concept of it.Men are such contemptible things.Why do they have to cling to violence to preserve “bonds” and ‘respect and status’?Behind this facade,what goes on?I doubt anything goes on at all.Except a sea of hate and contempt.At what,though?At not being female,as Valerie Solanas says?I’ve never read anything that answers that question for me.Why do men hate women?Women never felt the need to build a system of oppressing men,why do so many men hate women?There’s no logical reason for it.What gives?And I don’t completely believe the socialization arguement because it all *started* somewhere,right?

  11. Fictional Queen

    Is it agriculture’s fault?!Ha!I don’t believe that.

  12. Stella

    Dr Ahmed al Kubaisi, the head of Sharia Studies at UAE University and Baghdad University, told the National that beating Asians is at times necessary to preserve family bonds.

    “If an Asian committed something wrong, a husband can report him to police,” Dr al Kubaisi told the newspaper. “But sometimes he does not do a serious thing or he does not want to let others know; when it is not good for the family. In this case, hitting Asians is a better option.”

    Fuck this. Remember the boycott of South Africa?

    I don’t see how this is any different. Except for the mighty oil. So, yeah, no point talking about it.

  13. panoptical

    Fictional Queen,

    If you believe what Freud had to say, men hate women because men want unconditional access to the satisfaction of their libido (in other words, to vaginas) and women stand in the way of that satisfaction. On a deep level, men who hate women are really thinking “it’s damned inconvenient that there’s a person attached to that vagina” and accordingly they find ways to dehumanize and subordinate women in order to minimize that inconvenience.

  14. agasaya

    Yes, law enforcement in the USA permits anything to happen to women and children (we are the same, are we not?) if a MAN states any concerns about our behavior. In NYC, child protective services wouldn’t intervene in beatings that left few marks (some are okay as belts are legal). Here in California (anecdote alert), where I continue to be stalked and sprayed with pesticides for engaging in environmental activism, I was recently forced off the road by the usual type of harassing morons. This time, however, I was followed onto the town streets. Describing the entire issue in detail for the record with a 911 operator, I was then imprisoned in a parking lot by this man who blocked the entrance to the lot with his truck. The recording should be very useful to some lawyer as it describes menacing behaviors while waiting for the deputies to arrive.

    The deputies refused to let me press charges saying the man had called it in as a concerned citizen about my driving competency (possible DUI) although the deputy had no concerns at all regarding my competency, nor was I tested for anything. The photos I took of the man show perfect control at the wheel as well.

    He held the guy there for five minutes to get allow me to get a head start on escaping him. How’s the law working for y’all?

    Barbara Rubin

  15. Citizen Jane

    Fictional Queen,

    Oppressors hate the oppressed. It doesn’t matter who it is in the privileged or oppressed group. If some kind of event took place that transferred men’s power to women and made men the oppressed group, I can assure you that women would be treating men exactly the same way as men are treating women now. Check out the Stanford Prison Experiment or Reserve Police Battalion 101 for examples of how people suddenly turn into monsters when they get power over someone. “Power corrupts” is not just a cheesy catch phrase.

    So your real question is how women got oppressed in the first place. Anthropologists say it’s simply because throughout most of human history, there was no birth control, no obstetrics, and lives were pretty short. The average woman was pregnant most of her life, which hampered her access to hunting, trading, exploring, diplomacy, war, and all kinds of other enterprises. Some women overcame this by remaining virgins, but those women were still very oppressed by those who ensured that they remained virgins. Once humans started with agriculture, animal husbandry, and construction, those who had access to the land and property had a huge advantage over those who didn’t. Thus, oppression was cemented.

    There is another question in there, that of why exactly people hate the oppressed. It’s such a well-documented phenomenon that they do, but I have yet to see anyone even attempt to explain why. So I’m sorry, but I can’t answer you there.

  16. yttik

    We are often all outraged by prehistoric legal rulings coming from places like the UAE, and yes, they are really atrocious, but you can spend the day in a US family court and see the exact same message just wrapped up in more politically correct language.

    As to Freud, ah gees. He was FOS about so many things. Hating women is simply a learned behavior, cultural training from day one. If men really hated us because we stand between them and their libido, then women would really, really, hate men because they often stand between us and our ability to breath oxygen. It’s actually fascinating that women don’t hate men more, and I think men are subconsciously aware of how odd this is, because they project all these ideas about how evil and out to get them we are. Logically women should hate men and they know it.

  17. Samrat

    The reactions to the first commenter on the linked post upset me. It is a lot easier for people to blame “the other” who perpetrates violence, but to acknowledge it among our own neighbors? Horrors! It’s folly to think that the length of American short-sleeves protect us from the “real” beatings going on in other countries.

    I never once thought that a police officer or a court of law would defend me from the I-didn’t-realize-I-was-hurting-you-even-though-you-told-me-to-get-off-my-chest-repeatedly abuses that I grew accustomed to in a previous long-term relationship. I never had any marks (any REAL problems). The patriarchy told me I was being too sensitive. This is nothing but an affirmation of the status quo in most countries.

  18. ew_nc

    This is a bit off-topic, but have you heard about the guy who was cleared of a rape conviction, and was then awarded EIGHTEEN MILLION friggin’ dollars? Can you imagine a woman ever being awarded that amount of money because her rapist was allowed to go free? So much to blame.

  19. Farie

    Fuck family bonds indeed. If ever we needed proof that the “family” structure functions in large part to enforce a false divide between the public and the private spheres, wherein the public is defined as for men and the private is defined as where a man can abuse with legal impunity, there it is.

  20. veganrampage

    The US has been pals with some of the most heinous dictators in history simply so US corporations could pillage that dictator’s country natural resources, or because that country was strategically located.

    I puke when someone flogs America’s moral leadership. This country was founded on white supremacy, slavery, genocide and of course misogyny.

    We could have been decent but we traded our souls for an ibeeper that will break in 3 months, manufactured by a five year old tied to a radiator in Malaysia.

  21. Antoinette Niebieszczanski

    Having grown up with a fair amount of DV (and seeing most of my friends do the same) had a lot to do with my remaining single. The way it was casually discussed and made sport of upset and disgusted me, and I didn’t wanna risk perpetuating the same ol’ puke-inducing tradition. Desiring peace for myself and my animals, I chose the path of spinster auntliness. It’s been a good decision.

  22. Fictional Queen

    See,I agree.But I wonder why it became a cultural training in the first place.Somehow I doubt women had much power or input in making woman-hating a culture.I blame it all on men.Sure,women can work to uphold the patriarchy too,but they are also screwed in turn.What made men make woman-hating a culture,made them build a system of oppression,etc…So far,SCUM Manifesto has made the most sense to me about that question.But it seems like a chicken-and-egg thing.I can’t figure out what started misogyny,why men hated women so much that they made the world the way it is today…What I always conclude is that it’s innate.Is that true,though?

  23. speedbudget

    I can’t get on board with the innate thing just because I have known many men (my father included) who are wonderful human beings who do not viciously hate women, or even highly dislike them. I am not My Nigeling here, as you all know that I do believe the patriarchy exists and its sole purpose is to keep men in a position of power and influence.

    I am on board with cultural indoctrination, and it all stems from hierarchical thinking. Once you start with property ownership, then it becomes Keeping Up With The Joneses, and then it’s all about competition and who pokes/owns the most shit, including women. The best way to keep a group oppressed and dependent upon you for a modicum of safety, shelter, and food is to keep that group scared and hungry. In other words, men are the hand feeding the women, and women are smart enough not to bite the hand that feeds them. That’s why I can’t get angry at collaborators.

  24. HT

    Second time I’ve come out of lurking status – hatred of women is so mainstream that this type of misogny is accepted as “cultural differences”. It’s hatred of women, plain and simple – the minority of the human race hates the majority, and sadly the majority doesn’t realize that there is safety in numbers – perhaps they’ve just become so used to being beaten into submission that they believe that is the accepted lifestyle, and frankly when looking through the news in so called enlightened nations, there is nothing to change their minds. I am very fortunate – I threw out my oppressors, however not before they bled me dry of a whole bunch of money that I had earned. I have recovered however, and am living a retirement free of oppressor intervention (although my son occasionally ventures into the stern father stuff – doesn’t last long, but the only place he would have learned this behavior is outside these four walls)

  25. Jill

    Fictional Queen
    October 21, 2010 at 5:51 am

    See,I agree.But I wonder why it became a cultural training in the first place.Somehow I doubt women had much power or input in making woman-hating a culture.

    My favorite theory is that prehistoric dudes decided that they needed a way to make sure that they weren’t raising some other dudes progeny, so they invented women-as-chattel to turn uteruses into property.

  26. Mezosub

    What Jill said about how oppression of women started. Boys can’t create other human beings, and that lack sticks in their collective craw, so they invented Patriarchy as a method of social control of uteruses.

    On the topic of UAE (and most other Middle Eastern countries that follow Sharia law), I will be incredibly pleased when we Western civilization types get this whole solar-wind-geothermal energy generation thing going such that we can make electric vehicles economically viable.

    I wonder what will happen to UAE (and most other Middle Eastern countries that follow Sharia law) when the West has become independent of their sole natural resource?

    Oh yes. Israel will create a giantic glass parking lot from the Euphrates to the Hindu Kush mountains. And there won’t be anything that the West can do about it.

  27. Ted Stein

    The scary thing is that the UAE is a leader in women’s rights in the Arab world.

    But I have some hope because, among other hopeful signs, there are two women in college there for every one man. Which, by the way, is the highest in the world.

    This patriarchy shit won’t last forever, even there.

  28. FemmeForever


    If you believe what Freud had to say, men hate women because men want unconditional access to the satisfaction of their libido (in other words, to vaginas) and women stand in the way of that satisfaction.

    If this statement were true, then all the women who never say no (loose women, prostitutes, fun fems) would be home free from male supremacy. Sorry, Freud. But what else would be expected from a dickhead.

  29. lurker

    @Stella October 20, 2010 at 7:36 am
    The UAE has a quite large Asian immigrant worker population who are treated like shit. I can imagine what Dr. al Kubaisi thinks is the proper way to disclipine your Filipina maid if she gets out of hand.

  30. speedbudget

    Mezosub, we might be getting closer to fuel cells. I read an article about how Adobe is using fuel cells to provide a portion of the power needed at one of their California facilities. It’s a huge contraption right now, but so were computers at one point. I imagine in ten to twenty years we might be getting fuel cells in some (expensive) cars, and as you know, the prices will start to drop from there.

    When the Middle East becomes completely irrelevant and can no longer prop their economy up on oil, perhaps then women will get a modicum of freedom. It’s what it took in this country. When wages started to stagnate, suddenly it was “socially acceptable” for women to work outside the home, and feminism was able to take better hold.

  31. Eurosabra

    Re: Gleaming Green Glass solution to the Israeli-Arab conflict.

    I certainly hope not, part of the Israeli fantasy has been to be a part of the Middle East, and for a certain segment of the population, this is true to the extent that some Holy Land-centric Jewish, Christian, and Muslim populations, some pietistic and anti-nationalist, find themselves in a situation in which the State of Israel came to them rather than vice-versa. In a broader sense, the end of oil means the end of a conventional military threat to Israel, however, since Israeli society is subject to potential dissolution by other long-term pressures, some brought by adversaries, it is not a panacea. But I don’t see regional and self-poisoning as a possibility, and it bothers me when people see Israeli society as a society that would condone that as an “ideal solution.”

  32. auntiem313

    Fictional Queen wanted to know why men hate women so much…I think because we have the one thing they so desperately want. because they have no power or control over when they get it, and that they have to “deal” with the entire person who is attached to the thing they dream about 24/7. Pure resentment and internal power struggle. They were made to want it more than anything else and there is nothing they can do about their frustration so therefore they try to compensate by gaining power in other ways. Why do they hate us? Cause the little guy is in charge, and women control the little guy– meaning that basically the man is useless. That’s why. Having a dick can be a real problem for one’s self-esteem.

  33. auntiem313

    citizen Jane– People hate the oppressed out of fear. “There but for the grace of god go I.” Republicans have built a cult of judgment upon their fleeing from this fact.

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