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Oct 25 2010

Hurl of the week

It’s almost Halloween, the annual Unleash Your Inner Dudefantasy Receptacle festival. Not you, of course. I know you’re going as a Chilean miner.

Everyone else, however will be either Sexy Nerd, High School Tease, Miss Prep School, Prep School Delinquent, Bad Schoolgirl, Varsity Vixen, Study Date School Girl, or Sexy Mrs Potato Head. This yandy dot com website sells over 80 different — and when I say “different” I mean “identical” — plaid schoolgirl costumes.

Dudes love — and when I say “love” I mean “despise” — sexually active plaid children and the adult women who spend $59.99 on cheap crap from China to look like them.

57 comments

  1. Laughingrat

    The one that really delights me (and has the benefit of being a year-round hurlfest, not just a Halloween treat) is the “Sexy Librarian.” Because see, in order to cope with the emasculating concept that there is a career field in which women are supposed to be intelligent and authoritative, Dude Nation has to conceptualize those women as pornified sexbots. If I see one more “Reading is Sexy” or “Librarians do it in the stacks” t-shirt, I’ll lose my lunch.

  2. janicen

    Much like the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition, it looks as if this website is more of a collection of porn images designed for the entertainment of the viewer. It includes the ability to hover over a thumbnail image which provides a close-up view or even a view from the rear. There is even a tab which provides the viewer the opportunity to email the image to friends. Really porntastic, dude!

  3. Jezebella

    Have y’all seen the “sexy muppet” costumes? No, I won’t google it for fear of losing my breakfast, but there are “Sexy Elmo” and “Sexy Cookie Monster” outfits out there. Christ on a crutch.

  4. Antoinette Niebieszczanski

    Ha! In such a getup I would most resemble the proverbial 10 lbs. of hogfat in a 5 lb. bag. Plus wrinkles. Not Dudefantasy-compliant in any manner whatsoever unless the fella in question has a weird Witch-of-Endor fetish.

  5. Ashley

    Oh, so glad you posted about this. Everyone on my facebook has been posting photos of the “top 10 SEXIEST halloween costumes”
    *sigh*

  6. ma'am

    Gahh! I am staying home and passing out candy to the many, many poor kiddos in my hood. But I wanted to inform you that this particular website is porntastic enough to be blocked by my server here at work.

  7. tinfoil hattie

    I’m going as a man-hating curmudgeon. I’ve already got the costume.

  8. Citizen Jane

    The ones that really cheese me off are the ones that are pornulated versions of jobs. Sexy flight attendant, sexy nurse. Male-dominated fields seem to be especially popular: the sexy police officer, sexy racecar driver, sexy firefighter, sexy referee, sexy soldier. These seem so much more harmful than silly things like a sexy devil or sexy fairy or something. If I had a job that had a clear uniform signifier and I saw pornulated versions of it at Halloween, I would be furious.

    Do the people wearing these costumes not consider that there are people going to work each day who have to live with these degrading stereotypes?

    The sexy schoolgirl is definitely the most horrifying, as well as other sexy child costumes like the sexy Dorothy and sexy Alice in Wonderland. I can’t believe those costumes are considered acceptable in a society that pretends to shun pedophilia.

  9. dillene

    Is there a site where you can buy something like “Susan B. Anthony” or “Elizabeth Cady Stanton”? And not sexy Elizabeth Cady Stanton, either.

  10. humanbein

    My daughter Tess, 6, is going as Hermione Granger, the girl buddy from the Harry Potter books. I weep at the thought that this is the best she could do out of the hot stinking mess of patriarchal culture she’s growing up in. She likes a female character with powers.

    There should be a whole store full of powerful women characters for girls to choose from, and instead she just gets this. I suspect suggestions will be forthcoming, and while I will find them all interesting, especially those that give us some small glimmer of hope, I have to say that Tess gets to choose her own costumes around here, of course!

  11. speedbudget

    dillene, there in fact is a website where you can get some good ideas of feminist-friendly costumes, and they even help you with where to get the parts cheaply: http://takebackhalloween.org/category/goddesses-and-legends/

    Chilean miner! Good idea! All I need are dirty jeans and a sweatshirt and sunglasses. Thanks, Jill!

  12. Melanie

    While buying cat litter the other day, I went through the rack of ready-made costumes at Walgreens. All of the costumes for females were described in terms of attractiveness: “sexy” for the adults and “beautiful” for the children. The sexy adult costumes I expected, but to not be able to find a single girl’s costume that didn’t revolve around being attractive was really gross and disappointing.

    Of course, not a one of the boy’s or men’s costumes were described as such (as if I really needed to tell you that).

  13. Zygar

    I’m going as a chicken. Which is a men’s costume, despite having absolutely no jock strap for the dudes. I guess there’s not enough cleavage displayed for a woman to wear it…

  14. DancesWithCats

    There is a pilot costume for dudes on that site, and a corresponding Sexay Stewardess costume for the gals. There are no pilot costumes for ladiez, of course. I don’t know why I even looked for one.

    Sexy Cookie Monster makes me so very sad and angry.

  15. agasaya

    Of course, while drooling over school girl costumes, men don’t realize they are also expressing how they wish they had legal access to kiddie-porn and more fuel for their child-rape fantasies. But mention it and what denial will ensue!

  16. Mare_Island

    A couple years ago, we were visited by two little girls in home-made costumes. One was the Statue of Liberty, and the other was the Chrysler Building. It was epic.

  17. EmilyBites

    Oh no agasaya, they know. And so they get their kicks from infantilising and sexualising grown women at the same time, since paedophilia is nominally illegal. Not really though.
    Sexually harassing school-age girls is a leisure activity for dudes, and they don’t seem too ashamed of it. The thought that a dude might be enjoying his ‘sexy schoolgirl’ porn and then going to his day job as a teacher/ policeman/ bus-driver/ supreme court judge etc. is just gruesome.

  18. Shinila

    All the blame goes to the men here of course, but the women who love to dress up as school girls chap my very hide, or confuse me I can’t decide which. What do *they* get out of dressing up for perverts?

    I heard one man once say, it was just the naughtiness aspect. So let’s ask men to dress up as catholic school boys, that would be our naughty fetish! Imagine that! Cos we live in a patriarchy, such sick costumes for boys wouldn’t get in the shops to hear the complaints.

    I asked my last ex whether he liked schoolgirl dress up – it was my ‘do I see him again or don’t I’ question of the date. Stable, more secure men say ‘no way! It’s gross’. Insecure misogynist pedophiles say ‘yes’. A nice weeding out question ladies, and the best of it is, you can ask it innocently. Bizzarely the latter category is most common!!

  19. Jezebella

    Shinila, I inadvertently stumbled on that weeding-out question because I was once sentenced to three years of Catholic school. And, almost inevitably, when this fact emerges around a newly-acquainted dude, the dude gets all stupid and grins and asks if I still have the uniform. And then the dude gets written off as completely unfuckable henceforth. It’s a handy little screening mechanism, once I learned to control my immediate urge to punch them in the neck.

  20. Fleur Pillager

    Animals can be good choices. Oh, except for slut-kitten and cougar, which abound at those black holes of retail that art Party Galaxies(tm). I’m going as Poe’s Raven. It’s comprised of skull cap with feathers, mask with beak, foam feathers on running pants and the coup de gras: Black t-shirt reading “Nevermore.” If only I could swing the bust of Pallas on which I should perch. This is all for a nerd party, so I can only hope the perv-fest will be limited.

  21. XtinaS

    Sexy Mrs Potato Head

    Wow.  You really weren’t joking.

    (I mean, you would not joke in that fashion, but one can always hope.)

    I am appropriately utterly appalled.

  22. Josie

    Gah, why must everything be sexualized?! Alas, I blame the feckin’ patriarchy. I fail to see what exactly is so appealing about the entire “schoolgirl” look. When you think about it, it’s really disturbing — the way in which men get off on infantilizing grown women and then sexualizing them. It’s totally pedophilic. And when the hell did “nerd” become sexualized? *I* am a nerd, and you won’t catch me runnin’ around in that getup anytime soon, believe you me. Actually, “nerd” become sexualized when the fashion industry made the decision that nerdy was the new “in” thing to be. Before that, we nerds were mocked for our nerdiness. Life is different for us now, though. Oh, wait — no, it’s actually not! NOW we’re mocked because we don’t traipse around in plaid miniskirts with our Hello Kitty! backpacks while pretending to be all smart and stuff with our big nerdy glasses. Nobody ever sent me the memo that guys don’t like smart girls who like, read stuff, that’s like, totally NOT “Twilight”! ZOMGZ. (/endangst)

    Halloween is essentially a capitalist orgy (like all holidays), which brings up issues with feminism, consumer culture, racial preference, and cultural appropriation.

    http://www.teenagerie.com/2010/10/culturally-insensitive-halloween.html <- More Dude Nation-inspired barf-worthy material!

    "All the blame goes to the men here of course, but the women who love to dress up as school girls chap my very hide, or confuse me I can’t decide which. What do *they* get out of dressing up for perverts?"

    What do women get out of wearing makeup, low-cut blouses, and dangerously high heels? Absolutely nothing. Except, of course, for the all-important approval of the tool consumed by his own phallic identity. I, too, have an unfortunate habit of blaming women who conform to the patriarchal standards of beauty, but then I remember, "Blame the patriarchy, not her!".

    By the way, I just wanted to say that as a fifteen-year-old girl who is very frustrated by the patriarchy and the brand of third-wave "choice is empowering!" feminism, your blog is truly inspiring. I aspire to be a first-rate blamer like yourself someday. (Hope that didn't sound too mushy.) And to refrain from using "I" in my arguments so frequently. Additionally, you're also the reason my English final is entitled "Through Pink-Tinted Glasses: Breast Cancer Culture in America".

    Thanks, Twisty! You rock!

  23. Cycles

    Is there a site where you can buy something like “Susan B. Anthony” or “Elizabeth Cady Stanton”? And not sexy Elizabeth Cady Stanton, either.

    My mom made me an Amelia Bloomer costume when I was in 8th grade, for a presentation I was giving on first wave feminists. The outfit is a masterpiece hanging in the closet back home. I bow down to her skills. I wish I had a picture.

    It had a just-below-knee-length dress, and ankle-length bloomers, like the one on this page: http://www.istockphoto.com/file_closeup/concepts-and-ideas/time/4512194-amelia-bloomer.php?id=4512194

    With access to a well-stocked thrift store, it would be easy to throw together a similar look. If you can find a Laura Ashley style prairie dress (ubiquitous when I was growing up in 1980s Dallas), you could hack off the bottom to just below your knees. Then re-purpose a pair of too-big solid pajama pants by gathering them at the ankle with elastic or tape or whatever. Add a wide-brimmed straw hat, wear hair in a low bun, and throw a tablecloth (“shawl”) over your shoulders. Ta-da: instant humorless radical feminist, 1850s edition.

    Irony: in the 1850s, the Bloomer Costume was considered too revealing. Said outfit brought so much derision and harassment from strangers that, despite the exceptional increase in mobility it offered the wearer, it quickly faded from fashion. Women were forced to continue their daily woman-existence in stiff, constricting, immovable skirts rather than reveal that their legs, much like men’s, actually come in pairs rather than a dome-shaped monopod implied by a poufy skirt.

  24. Hermionemone

    Shinila asks: “All the blame goes to the men here of course, but the women who love to dress up as school girls chap my very hide, or confuse me I can’t decide which. What do *they* get out of dressing up for perverts? ”

    Dressing up as a sexbot is something that otherwise self-respecting women (and of course pervy cross-dressing men) can ‘try out’ at Halloween. It is safe(r) because the whole point is to represent something that you’re NOT.

    Years ago when it was all new to me I went with a gay friend to Halloween at the dance club, themed ‘dress as someone’s kink’. I threw together an outfit based on a sheer bodysuit, fishnet hose, a poufy taffeta skirt and strategic electrical tape. I still can’t believe I wore that! It was fun, it was edgy, nobody was molesting anybody, and I seemed to fit in well enough with the theme. It was eye-opening seeing the other kink-wear, some definitely not just for Halloween. I met a charming woman, in her early 40′s like myself, who looked terrifically hilarious in full schoolgirl getup. She wasn’t REALLY like that, either. I mean she WAS terrific and hilarious, but not sincerely porn-image-identified. We had a good time discussing all the costumes and their wearers.

    I’m not saying the schoolgirl fetish isn’t sick, but given that it exists, the Halloween portrayal of it by an adult outside the usual scope can be tongue-in-cheek. Real schoolgirls dressing as porny anything, is disturbing and regrettable. Maybe it’s a person’s ability to project, and the audience’s ability to perceive, irony, that is the difference. It’s a sick world out there (IBTP), and it’s sometimes good to know you can blend with the natives.

  25. wiggles

    Dudes the world over would flip their shit if somebody came out with a sexy altar boy costume.

  26. Notorious Ph.D.

    I’m going as a sex-ay Chilean miner.

  27. Tanya Derbowka

    I will be going as a tree. All I need are brown sweat pants, a brown shirt, a lot of green construction paper to make the leaves, a squirrel and a birds nest. It’s child-friendly (I work in a school) comfortable and not the least bit porny or gross. It gives me an excuse to lounge about in sweats. It is truly the perfect costume. I’m putting the birds nest on my shoulder or in my hair. I’m also sewing a stuffed squirrel to my pants so it looks like it is running up the tree. I’m very proud of myself for coming up with something I can live with. I could cry looking at the pervyness at my local thrift store.

  28. yttik

    It’s gotten really sick. Early in the year, Halloween designers actually go to adult entertainment conventions to get ideas for costumes. So if you wonder why costumes all look like they belong in a porn movie, that’s why.

    The one part of the patriarchy that I hate the most is the sexual exploitation of children. It’s an unbelievably ugly thing that is one of the foundations that helps to keep the whole crappy system in place. If we ever figured out how to end child sexual abuse, I think the patriarchy would topple.

  29. Shinila

    Jezebella – It’s amazing how a partner’s penchant for schoolgirls can completely distinguish any hope we had for the relationship. Even if it was a lot of hope.

    Wait on second thought, no it’s not haha. Pedophilia is gross!

  30. Gayle

    “Dudes love — and when I say “love” I mean “despise””

    Exactly.

    An associate of mine is dressing up as a sexy Kim Jong-il. It’s nice to know some people out there are making fun of this horror.

  31. Eden

    Experiencing Halloween on a US college campus. Not only is there obscure sexy costumes, but alcohol into the mix. Yuck.

  32. Jill

    Josie
    October 25, 2010 at 3:03 pm

    [...] my English final is entitled “Through Pink-Tinted Glasses: Breast Cancer Culture in America”.

    My hero!

  33. Shelby

    No relato yet, thank fuck. Where I live in Sydney, Australia, many have taken on the halloween tradition of collecting lollies door to door. The kiddies, girls and others, are still dressing as monsters cause they only have old American movies as examples of how to behave. The only thing to worry about are those neighbours who say “Fuck off – We don’t celebrate halloween – This isn’t America… yet.”

  34. ElizaN

    Thanks for that link, speedbudget! This year I’m dressing as a bat, which lets me hang out in sweats, but I’m keeping that reference for future years.

  35. dill

    As long as I can forget that this is real stuff that will be paid for with money and worn by a real person, I find the huge range of “sexy” costumes fascinating.

    Here is what it reminds me of: I used to eat Kinder Sorpresa candies that were chocolate eggs with a toy inside. There was a series of little toys once that were all trains with faces, and all the trains were dressed up as something else. There was a pirate train, and I think a butterfly train and a doctor train. It totally blew my mind. Anthropomorphized non-living object “pretending” to be something else.

    So now I find a sexy (female) George Washington costume, a sexy monarch butterfly, a sexy remote control…

    And I just realized why these costumes reminded me of the trains. Who knew? Us female receptacles are so close to being sentient beings that we can now dress up as real things. Barf.

  36. redpeachmoon

    Wow, love the discussion. I remember being a waitress in a club/restaurant and learning to fear the Halloween nightlife.. super scary men using masks and costumes to act out their groping, intimidating behavior. I continue to dread costume parties, and don’t want to ‘dress up’. My sixteen year old niece dressed up as a sexy nun last year. I was appalled, so was my 92 yr. old Mother. For different but similar reasons.
    The Chilean miner idea is pretty cool though.

  37. tinfoil hattie

    Josie, as a 50-year-old unfuckable feminist, may I say you kick patriarchy’s ASS.

  38. veganrampage

    @Hattie
    You are kicking some comedy ass on this thread.

    @Fleur
    Hope that bust of Pallas is pallid.

    @Hedgepig
    A big rad fem toodle-pip to you and yours.

    @Josie Fifteen? Years? Old? Gadzooks!
    Bet you’ll be president of the United Corporations of America one day. It’s a pleasure.

  39. CassieC

    Beyond the sexy whatever, it’s really hard for me to come up with witty Halloween costume ideas. But one year I was inspired by the Bush-Cheney “don’t change horsemen mid-apocalypse” slogan to be a horseperson of the apocalypse. I went as pestilence, a friend went as death. We stuck cardboard horse-heads on brooms, in a twist on the witch theme.

    My costume was AWESOMELY GROSS. It had real squooshed heartwarming big black beetles (dead) from our recent big black beetle basement infestation around the neck, earings from my large wisdom teeth, and white-green face makeup with a blood-and-gore streak from the mouth, to look as though I’d just puked up internal organs. It was clear that any guy who would hit on me would be out of his mind or into dead girls. But you can’t win for losing: some guys did. Still my favorite costume, though.

  40. Stella

    Last year, I dressed as “Sexy Michael Jackson.”

    It was not sexy. But it was scary.

  41. humanbein

    Josie, my theory of how everything becomes sexualized is that sex is addictive, and even if you don’t get off on sex per se, the addictive nature of arousal will still hold a sick fascination over those who give in to it.

    This arousal, combined with hunting out what you desire, and the thrill of being desired, can be enjoyed in non-sexual contexts like shopping and going to the library for some desired book. The marketing industry has shown us that you can arouse the desire for a product without sex for many decades now, but I’m afraid that someday soon they will just break down and make it all sex all the time. Whenever it’s not violence.

    I read an article in Harper’s recently about the strange disconnect between young feminists and older feminists. The crux of it seemed to be that many young feminists, addicted to this sexualized world, reject unfuckable older feminists who rightfully criticize this kind of sexual exploitation. The writer cast it as kids rebelling against moms, but I could see the deeper lack of empathy of the old for the young and the young for the old.

    After a few bitter experiences with men, a feminist who is older can no longer see why a younger feminist is still fooled by the fantasies of happiness Snow White and other princesses instill in us. Nothing is harder to remember than innocence.

    And sex is not without pleasure, and when you are young and in the thick of it, becoming part of that world is easy to start and hard to understand once you are in it. In order to keep the thrills coming, you can easily start to lie to yourself about whether it’s such a big deal to be exploited and degraded, to the point of even denying that being degraded is degrading. Not to mention the complications of romantic love, which is used as tool to possess and own people, even between people who have little real benevolent love for each other.

    Sex shouldn’t be the dividing line between feminists. It should be just one facet of our lives, just as it is one tiny part of our bodies. Your reaction against the sexualization of everything is one I share! Sex should be a small part of life, not everything; but in a capitalist culture where selling sex is easier than selling excellence, it’s here to stay.

  42. Summerspeaker

    The subject of sexualization and the place of sex in society calls to mind Firestone’s call for the rediffusion of sexual joy and excitement over the the spectrum of our lives. After the proverbial revolution and period of reconditioning, she imagined all close personal relationships would include (though never fixate on) physical sexuality.

  43. Jezebella

    Does this qualify as “meta”? It’s a link to a post on my blog in response to Twisty’s 2006 Slut-o-ween report:

    http://yoredux.blogspot.com/2006/10/sartorial-sundays-slut-o-ween-report.html

    If you just want my list of non-slut-o-ween costumes, I cut and paste for you:

    mongol horde.
    pirate (not slutty pirate).
    cleopatra (with date as Anubis).
    Autumn personified.
    Winter personified
    a cowboy (no, not a sexy cowboy, or a cowgirl: a cowboy)
    my inner child.

    Also, your intro to art history book is an excellent source of inspiration. I’ve seen art historians appear at parties as: the Guggenheim Bilbao; a Corinthian column; the Byzantine mosaic portrait of Empress Theodora; a Frank Stella painting; Andy Warhol; and many more.

  44. Liberality

    Citizen Jane: “pretends to shun pedophilia” is about the size of it.

  45. ruby

    My six year old wants to dress up as a Black Widow, the spider, not the femme fatale.

  46. ew_nc

    Fleur Pillager? Hello to another Louise Erdrich fan!

    I’m waiting for the zombie jokes of the past to begin.

  47. Pansuit Sally

    Some friends of mine have a huge Halloween party every year, and every year at least five women show up dressed as Hooters girls. They are all completely shocked that someone else had the same brilliant costume idea.

    Last year, I wore a suit with an unbuttoned white shirt underneath, and underneath that, a Superman t-shirt. I finished the look with a loosened necktie and glasses, and told everyone I was Clark Kunt.

  48. Princess Rot

    This year I shall be a hungry vampire, since my friends have planned a pub crawl. I mean a legit newly-undead-just-risen-from-the-grave, not some Twilight shite. I fashioned myself some fangs from some soft plastic I found at work and I’ll stick ‘em in with denture glue, bought some red contacts and mixed up some blood from hair gel, water and food coloring. I then grabbed an old white hoodie and some jeans, hit them with the blood then drove my car over them a few times to rip and muddy it up. This is not sexy. It will be scary. Methinks I should have some patriarchy-bashing message in there, but my imagination fails me.

  49. Lidon Achava

    God it’s nice to come to one place where other people are as irritated as I am that the only costumes marketed for women have to be degrading and hypersexualized. Glad to know I’m encouraged to be as witty and original as the men!

    My costume consisted of this REAL sexy long, shapeless bloody nightgown, sexy gashes in my face, and sexy blackened teeth. I was the sexy girl from the Exorcist.

    It was clear that any guy who would hit on me would be out of his mind or into dead girls. But you can’t win for losing: some guys did. Still my favorite costume, though.

    Yep. It just goes to show that you don’t have to be half-naked to get attention!

    Do the people wearing these costumes not consider that there are people going to work each day who have to live with these degrading stereotypes?

    The sexy schoolgirl is definitely the most horrifying, as well as other sexy child costumes like the sexy Dorothy and sexy Alice in Wonderland. I can’t believe those costumes are considered acceptable in a society that pretends to shun pedophilia.

    Citizen Jane, I couldn’t agree with you more. I teach children, and I don’t find anything about it that is worthy of being mocked or subverted.

    Additionally, you’re also the reason my English final is entitled “Through Pink-Tinted Glasses: Breast Cancer Culture in America”.

    Josie, you’re awesome.

  50. Eirwyn

    “Dudes love — and when I say “love” I mean “despise” — sexually active plaid children and the adult women who spend $59.99 on cheap crap from China to look like them.”

    This makes me very thoughtful, but when I try to put it into words it seems so obvious, and yet not quite what I mean to say.

    This love-as-hate thing, or maybe hate-as-love, that men have for sexy women. Women must be sexy, but not too sexy! Pure, but not too pure! It’s a fine line between frigid and whore in the patriarchy. A fine, fine line.

    The only way to be, obviously, is a virgin whore. If your man gets tired of you after the virgin status is done with, tough shit. The only solution is to join a nunnery or a porn business at that point.

    Yeah, this isn’t what I wanted to say at all, but the mind numbing paradoxes presented by misogyny has frozen the cogs in my brain.

  51. AvengingGerbil

    My one and only Hallowe’en costume party, I went as Historical Inevitability. Scythe, white face paint, black cape with IRS forms stuck on. (Death and taxes.) Even if death can be pornified, I don’t think taxation can be.

  52. Azundris

    “Even if death can be pornified”

    Do an image search for “Lady Death” if you dare.

  53. MaryK

    If “rape is a compliment” because it’s about sexual desire and taxes are “rape”, then taxation is prime for pornification. “The IRS f*cked me” seems like fodder for a sexay 1040 costume.

  54. Lidon Achava

    I laughed at the “Sexy Mrs. Potato Head” until I realized it was a link indicating that this costume EXISTS. At this point, I think we’re all going to hell in a handbasket. IBTP!

  55. cht

    why was it important to point out that the cheap costumes were made in China? why not just end it at cheap crap?

  56. Murasaki

    Its important to point out the cheap shit costumes are made in China because it adds another layer of exploitation to the whole thing – the poor workers that got paid 3c to make the horrendous thing, not to mention the massive waste of resources, damage to environment in transport etc etc. The patriarchy tells you you love dressing up as a sexy something and they tell you the Chinese worker loved making the costume for you and loves the fact that her kids wont see her this year because she has to live hundreds of miles away in a sweaty factory making sexy outfits for idiots miles away to oppress themselves in for fun.

    Also useful as comeback material when the wearers of such crap costumes start to ramble on about the country going down the shitter (or gurgler as we call it in Australia) or foreigners taking all our jobs cos you can point out “umm, youre the one buying sexy witch for toddler costumes from China and undercutting the US market for sexy toddler witch outfits”. Might make them think next time and make the effort to have a local seamstress or seamsdude make their toddler’s sexy corseted wench dress with fishnets.

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