Nov 18 2010

It’s called evolutionary psychology, look it up

On the outside chance that there still exists a member of the Blametariat who has not seen Privilege Denying Dude, a quasi-amusing expression of the deep inner pain of the sex class and other perma-dissed persons, here ya go. Thanks to everyone who sent it in, particularly those whose emails began “I know you’ve already seen this but.” What a great idea for my own opening line!

I love Privilege Denying Dude, because he’s every dude I know, and lard knows how much I love dudes!

OK where the hell have I been?

I hate to be mysterious, but the insolent sticks-in-the-mud who boss me around are on my case about revealing a bunch of personal crap on the internet. And let’s face it, people’s personal crap is fucking boring anyway. So let’s just say that a combination of circs, or, if you will, a “perfect storm” (that’s what my sibling Tidy calls every confluence of 2 or more forces the outcome of which involves a spilled latte or burned-out light bulb) has worked its influence on my fate of late, preventing me from being seated at my desk for my customary hours on end. Meanwhile, I have applied for, and been granted, a 6-month sabbatical. Formal blaming takes a holiday! The Twisty Kiester is goin’ a-flittin!

Naturally, informal blaming will continue without interruption. Which means that whenever I see a trailer on TCM for a movie entitled — I’m not even kidding — “Every Girl Should Be Married” (1949), which movie is billed as a sort of how-to for “landing” a husband, as well as a revelation to dudes on the wily methods women use to “trap” them (stalking, apparently), I will still curl the narrow lip and narrow the jaundiced eye. Sure, they pass it off as a harmless relic of antiquated mores, but unto TCM I say: aired without any critical analysis, this movie’s unremitting “classic” misogyny just adds another layer of gunk on the antifeminist zeitgeist here in 2010, endorsed by dreamboat Hollywood icons-cum-patriarchy minions like Cary Grant.

Anyway, I’ll look in on the blog from time to time, whenever computer access permits. No way to tell how often that will be. The future is uncertain!


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  1. Pinko Punko

    Well, I’m glad I didn’t send you the YouTube of the song I heard yesterday on the radio, then I think you would have applied for an atom bomb and an Earth destruct button.

    I’m also sorry I forgot to write you in as Governor of Texas.

    Here’s to bluebonnets in about 4 long months.


  2. headbang8

    Likin’ the sound of your travel, Twists. If you’re flittin’ through Middle Europe and would care for a patriarchy-reproaching Weißbier, lemme know. No doubt that I’m a denying dude like the rest, but I try hard.

  3. Jezebella

    Well, if your sabbatical involves driving through Southern Mississippi in an Airstream, drop me a line and I’ll give you the twenty minute tour of Buttcrack, Mississippi, including the half-assed Tex Mex joint. The tacos are not spectacular, but the margaritas are good & strong.

  4. ew_nc

    You will be missed. A sabbatical is a good thing, it should be a requirement, really.

    If you’re in the mood for some shooting-fish-in-a-barrel blaming, check out today’s news story of the dude in a bar who pretended to be a doctor so he could give out free breast exams. Oy vey.

  5. yttik

    Glad to hear you’re going on a sabbatical. Hope it’s a good one!

    I’ve spent the last six weeks on hold on the telephone listening to porno music. I’ve made a four mile long chain of paper clips and lovely rubber band ball. (By the time you return, I hope to have solved the mystery of why 5000 rubber bands are always standard office supply. In 30 years I don’t think I’ve ever seen one actually being used.)

    My lobe has now atrophied into a little hard ball of resin. I shall roam about the internet blaming without mercy until your return.

  6. ElizaN

    There did still exist a Blamer who hadn’t seen PDD, so I thank you for posting. Enjoy your sabbatical!

  7. Laurie

    Glad to hear you’re here, glad you’re going on sabbatical.

    You have been and will continue to be missed, but we’ll be waiting.

    Shit, that sounds stalkeresque when I see it typed out, but I mean it in the least creepy way possible: we love your brain, which is worth waiting for.

    Now I sound like a zombie on the hunt.

    Well, just have fun and be back soon, OK?

  8. Comrade PhysioProf

    Twisty, I’m having a lot of trouble imagining anyone bossing you around.

  9. Ron Sullivan

    Well, that’s mysterious enough.

    If you’re traveling, drop by. You know where I am. You want tacos made of Martian ingredients? We got ’em, and organic too.

  10. speedbudget

    I will eagerly anticipate the resumption of (some) blaming at some point. Until then, I will hang around airports so I can get felt up and maybe land me a man. Cause we all know that once you poke it, you own it!

  11. Shinila

    Jiiillllll! You do know you’d be God if this were a SANE world, right?!

    Eagerly waiting your return!

  12. tinfoil hattie

    Super! Have a great time! I just returned from a month of self-imposed isolation in a little cabin in WV, and I LOVED it. We will miss you. I will be cheering you on from afar. Thanks for the blog!

  13. Ayla

    You have a job that involves formal blaming? Can we read said formal blaming? Or am I missing something here?

  14. Ayla

    Also: privilegedenyingdude is denying me the privilege of accessing his tumblr account. Anyone else?

  15. admirerofemily

    Hope your sabbatical is peaceful and restorative.

    Guess I’ll finally get through reading all the archives now.

  16. Tehomet

    I hope you have a good time doing whatever the hell it is you’re going to be doing for the next while.

  17. Citizen Jane

    Privilege Denying Dude is now dead. The woman who made the blog purchased the photo from a stock photo website, possibly being the first person ever to make a meme without blatantly stealing an image. Unfortunately, the guy who sold the photo complained to Tumblr and got them to take down the blog by threatening to sue. RIP, Privilege Denying Dude.

  18. Jill

    Citizen Jane
    November 19, 2010 at 8:06 pm

    Privilege Denying Dude is now dead.

    See what I mean? The future IS uncertain.

    Thanks for all the well-wishing. Yall make it sound like I’m going around the world on an archaeology dig or something. I wish I were. Hell, maybe I will!

  19. redpeachmoon

    I sure will miss you, and hope you are up to something fabulous and fulfilling. This blog has brightened my life.
    Thank you dear Jill.

  20. sargassosea

    “The future is uncertain!”

    Hell yeah. That’s the whole point, right?

  21. Awaya

    All the best for what ever it is you’re about to embark upon. Come back soon. I think I speak for myself and many others when I say I think I would’ve had a stroke years ago if it wasn’t for this little hub of sanity. Cheers!

  22. justpassingthrough

    You can still have fun (for now) with Privilege Denying Dude at memegenerator.net: http://www.memegenerator.net/Privilege-Denying-Dude

    Miss your brilliant posts, Jill, and hope the sabbatical rejuvenates the ol’ obsterperal lobe.

  23. zeph

    I seldom comment here being dyslexic and too radical for my shirt. But I will miss reading you. I hope you consider coming back to the thankless task sometime, because when it comes to scintillating wit, style and prose brilliance there never has been, and I doubt there ever will be, another blogger who can hold a candle to you.

    As the video has been withdrawn, I will just add that the last time I read about the mantis, I was led to understand that in some species the female mantids live fairly far apart, and that the males don’t live long anyway. So if she does not eat him, he will just wander off by himself and get eaten by something else. If this is the case, I suppose it makes sense for him to back his own offspring with his last coin, rather than feed the babies of an entirely different species.

    I hope your sabbatical is the enjoyment kind.

  24. sanantonerose

    Jill, you are one of the best writers on the Internet tubes. And damn my hide for watching all those Cary Grant movies during my formative years. His steamy dreaminess has gotten me into more trouble than it’s been worth. Now get out there and see some stuff!

  25. vinoveritas

    *sigh* I miss you already. Times are tough for internet feminists.

  26. Anna

    Cary Grant is sexy.

  27. SKM

    Unfortunately, the guy who sold the photo complained to Tumblr and got them to take down the blog by threatening to sue.

    Which is, it itself, an exercise in privilege*. Meta!

    *How much luck do you think a non-WhiteCisDude would have in threatening to sue for the use of a legally acquired image s/he consented to sell?

  28. Jodie

    Oh, have fun! We’ll be waiting for you!

  29. Mildred

    But what about Robert Jensen?

  30. Emma in Sydney

    Twisty, should your sabbatical involve travelling to the Southern Hemisphere and enlightening the brutish inhabitants of that Savage Death Island known as Australia (as the sabbaticals of many US academics do, and boy do they let us know it), then I hope you’d drop in for a visit. We have some excellent arachnids in my neck of the woods, and the mantids aren’t half bad, either.

  31. awhirlinlondon

    Twisty – yes! Why not!

    Bon voyage –

  32. skeptifem

    SKM- moshzilla was a white girl who managed to get people to quit.

  33. stickypaws

    The title of this post made my day – I recently received a nasty email with “It is so ____. Look it up!” from a privilege denying (unemployed, lazy, money-grubbing, deadbeat, spoiler-on-the-back-of-his-car) white dude.

    Like so many others, I’m really going to miss you, Twisty. I can’t think of anyone who articulates blamin’ quite like you do. I’ll find a way to get along without regularly scheduled blaming, but it’s going to be a looooong 6 months.

    Too many “I”s in my post, I know.


  34. agasaya

    Enjoy your ‘walk-a-bout’!

  35. Katherine

    Women try to get men through stalking? Funny, that’s the method the movies tell MEN to use as well. But apparently in dude-ville, men stalking women is ok, while women stalking men is whoa creepy. Never mind that in real life, men stalking women is dangerous (for the woman), and women stalking men is probably ok (unless she isn’t P2K compliant, then it’s a little gross at most (for the dude)).

  36. allhellsloose

    Oh that sounds good. Bon Voyage!

  37. Shinila

    Katherine whenever women use male ‘natural’ (patriarchy lets them get away with it and tells everyone else it’s normal) behaviour, it’s made into a much bigger more pressing thing, like female pedophiles, female murderers for eg.

    Cos no one gives a shit that the vast vast vast majority of evil crimes – the crimes where committing them would need a void set of morals are committed by dudes :)

  38. Eirwyn

    Fucking typical that Privilege Denying Dude goes down, yet Insanity Wolf is still thriving, despite (or because BECAUSE of) all the Insanity Wolf macros that talk about rape and other misogynistic acts. One of the very first Insanity Wolf macros I read made me need to reach for the brain bleach.

    Cue sad, slow head shake.

  39. K.A.

    Enjoy your sabbatical!

    I have a feeling this thread will become as long as, well–a half a year of Jill being gone.

  40. tinfoil hattie

    Gee, only 5 months and 19 days until Jill is back.

    (Not that I am obsessively counting on her to return EXACTLY on May 18, or anything.)

  41. Summerspeaker

    I just want to jump in and reiterate my distaste for evolutionary psychology. I recently stumbled across a particularly infuriating example. You know who I blame.

  42. speedbudget

    Summerspeaker, wow. I can’t even.

  43. yttik

    That link is more like evidence of backwards de-evolution. If that represents what it means to be a highly evolved life form, I think I’ll just stay in the cave.

  44. K

    Holy Crow, Summerspeaker, I wish I’d never even seen the *title* of that, that, whatever it was.

  45. Milquetoast

    It’s getting absurd how often I keep checking I Blame the Patriarchy — every day — when I know you won’t be replying for months. Come back already!

  46. veganrampage

    “Cary Grant is sexy.”

    Randolph Scott agreed.

  47. Shinila

    re ‘gentle silent rape’

    At least he acknowledges victims of rape are most persecuted, although this is as if to make some twisted point.

    I think he endeavours to say.. men are convicted for having sex against a woman’s will, so *women* should be when they have sex against a man’s will. I think that’s how the pea brain of an evopsych theorist slowly ticks. His privilege ruins his whole train of thought. That’s the problem with evolutionary psychology. Privilege bridges the gaps of just-so speculation.

  48. speedbudget

    In response to that piece of drivel, Isaac Asimov: “Inspect every piece of pseudoscience and you will find a security blanket, a thumb to suck, a skirt to hold.”

    Nicely explains the whole evopsych movement, doesn’t it?

  49. Farie

    The entitlement of certain men is unfathomable: they actually consider that their inability to control another person’s body is comparable in nature and magnitude to the violation of a woman’s ability to control her own body

  50. Ames

    Oh how I missed our chief blamer when I ran across this tortured noxious dump about consent on Jezebel (written by a dood, naturally, and one who, shockingly, didn’t want to use his real name):

    “Thinking about sex as decision — and not an action requiring consent — may in this way be empowering. A decision is an action that can be neutral and value-independent in a way that offering consent simply cannot.

    “It would be asinine and anti-feminist to argue that consent doesn’t exist, or that the complete disregard of consent has no repercussions (because it most certainly does). But our language reflects and enables our sexual repression, and that in turn causes us to do damaging, disempowering things (like perpetuate a double standard on promiscuity), and it may be inadvertently enforced by how we refer to sexual choices. I’m not suggesting that a woman have sex with someone she doesn’t want to, but I’m hoping we can start having more guilt-free sex by any means necessary. If we turn the volume down on consent, perhaps we’ll get closer to this kind of liberation.”

  51. stickypaws

    Farie FTW!

  52. karen marie

    Only five months 18 days till Twisty returns.

    Will she bring us presents?

  53. redpeachmoon

    Now I have to think, ‘what would Jill say?’.
    Oh why, hast thou forsaken us?

  54. Nolabelfits

    I guess we’ll just have to revive old threads until she decides to come back.

  55. Shelby

    Holy snapping duckshit Summerspeaker. We have the technology, don’t we? It’s time to start depopulating the male gender. Males in too great a number are a cancer and they’re too difficult to control. How difficult would it be to engineer policy and biology so that in future only 10% of the population is born male?

  56. Summerspeaker

    How difficult would it be to engineer policy and biology so that in future only 10% of the population is born male?

    About as difficult as smashing the patriarchy, I imagine. I can’t see dudes accepting such a program with the patriarchy intact. And if we did smash it, tinkering with chromosomes wouldn’t be worthwhile at that point.

  57. yttik

    That’s probably why the patriarchy is so freaked out about controlling women’s reproduction. They’re afraid if we have full autonomy we’ll just stop having male babies. It’s all projection, I mean, that’s exactly what they do when they’re in charge, manage sex selection so that only males are being born. We now have a couple places in the world where the menz are whining about the shortage of wives, because they didn’t think things through when creating a culture that only values sons.

  58. phio gistic

    Summerspeaker I wonder if your evopsyche rapist got the idea from the FBI, who define rape as “the carnal knowledge of a female forcibly and against her will.” Some obvious problems with this definition are discussed here http://www.apbweb.com/featured-articles/1772-sense-of-urgency-on-rape-cases.html

  59. kiuku

    “How difficult would it be to engineer policy and biology so that in future only 10% of the population is born male?”

    I’ve learned a few choice things from radical feminism about human reproduction. I’ve learned we can make sperm in a laboratory. I learned the Y chromosome, reponsible for making males, contains SRY, and the entire thing is incompatible with the X chromosome. That females only have a very small amount of male DNA and it exists at the tip. That sperm makes placenta, and male DNA populates inside the placenta, not in fertilizing the egg…well that last part is my speculation. However, I speculate that it would be possible to make male-free sperm. DNA free sperm. To manufacture it. So a woman can become pregnant on her own, and give birth to a female child. Men couldn’t really stop that invention, like the invention of birth control, and I just don’t see it as being politically objectionable.

  60. Nolabelfits

    Someone on another community forum said that sperm cells can be extracted from a female stem cell. I wonder if its also possible to choose to extract female producing sperm? Interesting stuff.

  61. iorarua

    In all fairness to the film ‘Every Girl Should be Married’, it did make a noble but clunky, 1949-type attempt to challenge that most sacred of patriarchal conventions – the inalienable right of men to make all the moves, and the corresponding inalienable duty of women to sit around and wait for men to make all the moves.

    Also, it showed off Betsy Drake’s talent for being something other than Cary Grant’s wife of the time – i.e. a pretty good comedienne. As for Grant, he also did another gender-bending movie around this time – ‘I was a Male War Bride’ with the spendid Anne Sheridan.

    Perhaps both he and Hollywood were doing some pre-HUAC testing of the waters. After all, this era produced a small window of status-quo challenging films like Gentlemen’s Agreement, The Boy With Green Hair, Pinky and Adam’s Rib.

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