Phil, my assistant, just informed me that, while I was off doing the butt-dance for a couple of weeks, I Blame the Patriarchy sprouted about 1742 purulent boils and should probably be put down.
“You might want to check that blog you abandoned,” he said. “It’s full of morons.”
(Phil is only partially hip to the privilege he experiences as a non-moron.)
In actuality, the blog is not “full” of morons at all. It is only half full of morons.
My sibling Tidy has a T-shirt that says “This ain’t my first rodeo.” This blogular event could be mistaken for my first rodeo, though. Jesus in a jetpack. What was I thinking, posting wild fantasies like “transpersons are human beings” and then going off butt-dancing? I should have known that my remarks would attract a firestorm of hateshitcrapbombs. I should have known that once I got back to my desk I would feel sad and defeated, because it would turn out that I had failed the blamers who count on me to filter the ick out these polarizing discussions (even though it clearly states somewhere in the FAQ that blamers specifically shouldn’t count on me to do that. Putting a thing in a FAQ guarantees that reader expectations will veer in the opposite direction). I should have known that I would find 700 comments on the post and another 200 in the moderation queue, all incendiary in nature.
I am a dedicated spinster aunt, so naturally I only skimmed, with my jaundiced eye, in the most cursory way possible, the 900 (total) comments. Holy shit, there sure is a bunch of hatas what comment on this blog. I was invited by some of them to quit calling myself a radical feminist, since the definition of radical feminism is, apparently, “a branch of feminism based on hatred of transpersons.”
OK then. I’m a Savage Death Islandist. As a Savage Death Islandist, just let me say, “ew.”
“Ew” doesn’t even begin to express the precise nature of my disgust and disappointment, but I say it anyway because it taxes my blown lobe beyond its capacity to coin the mot juste.
In the spirit of Savage Death Islandist inclusionism, comments proceeding from the dudely hata perspective are still banned. It is likely, since I am on sabbatical, that dudes and hatas will incurse. If that happens, I urge the sensible reader to stop reading those comments immediately, and to watch cute puppy videos on YouTube.