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Jul 31 2011

Spinster aunt dashes off some fluff, proceeds with overbooked Sunday

No time to post, but look at this, I got another head-pat from a dude!

Hello,

While I am a dude, and disagree with a lot of your worldview, I’d like to let you know I really enjoy reading your blog. You’re a very good writer and your posts are entertaining and thought-stimulating. Please keep up the good work — there is a paucity of actual quality content in the blogosphere, and I daresay that you’re propping up the mean.

When women write me, they never, ever tell me that I am “a very good writer” and to “keep up the good work” because there isn’t enough decent writing on the Internet. Women say things like “that post on consent changed my life,” or “Now I know I’m not alone/crazy/hysterical.”

Dudes, on the other hand, always feel compelled to inform me that they disagree with me (this is a non-negotiable component of dude fan mail), but that they are nevertheless are willing to be entertained by me. They usually include a couple of 25-cent words, like “daresay” and “paucity.” “Keep up the good work” is another essential element. Thanks for the dudely encouragement, dude! Because I was totally thinking about packing up shop and opening up a pole dancing studio at Whole Foods.

UPDATE (or, perhaps, DOWNDATE): I wrote a much better post on this topic last year, back when I was smarter and there were more patriarchy-blaming hours in the day. The Hanging Chads of Savage Death Island. This post is better because it’s more long-winded, and also because at the end it explains how feminist revolt will make pornography obsolete. Thanks to MaryK and AlienNumber for reminding me of it.

148 comments

1 ping

  1. Stittsville Anonymous

    Because may $DEITY forbid that someone both disagree with you and pay you a compliment.

  2. speedbudget

    But if you don’t get the dudely pat on the head, how will you know that you have lived up to the patriarchy’s arbitrary and always-changing standards? How will your life have any meaning?

    I know I always feel a little more alive when some dudebro tells me I should smile more or that I look nice in that outfit.

  3. Laila

    Allow me, as a non-dude woman type, to buck the trend.

    I, too, disagree with a lot of your worldview, and I’d like to let you know I really enjoy reading your blog. You *are* a very good writer, your posts *are* entertaining and stimulating, and that is why I recommend you to my friends. Please, keep up the good work. There aren’t enough Twistys.

    (Also, and I don’t want to deflate your ego too much, but none of your posts have changed my life, nor have I ever thought that my feminism make me crazy/hysterical/alone. But I read everything you write. It’s clear your politics are a hell of a lot more self-consistent and well-thought out than, say Jezebel’s. And occasionally you write something where every second sentence I want to jump out of my chair and whoop because it’s just that awesome.)

  4. Orange

    I’m with Laila, but I’ll add that reading this blog has sensitized me to pick up on the wealth of anti-woman shite out there far better than before. And as a writer and fan of words and wordplay, I tip my figurative hat to you, Jill, for the apt coinages (e.g., “megacorporotheocracy,” if I got those syllables right) and engaging prose. And to think they say feminists aren’t funny.

    I would absolutely attend your pole-dancing classes at Whole Foods. There won’t be any poles and class will meet elsewhere, right?

  5. buttercup

    Oh Nigel. You had me at “Paucity”.

  6. Maggie

    When I started reading this blog 2+ years ago, I kept reading it because it was uncomfortable and disagreeable and made me aware of some very deep-lurking crazy-making thoughts that were unpleasant. Uncomfortable ideas turn out to be true, more often than not. I had a sinking feeling that it was all horribly true, every word of it. I can’t say that a single post changed my life, but they’ve slowly eaten away the edges of a massive blind spot that I have due to my many, many privileges. All I can say to Laila and Orange and whoever else comes back to this blog to be entertained is this: try NOT being entertained, take a good look at why you disagree with Twisty’s world view, ask yourself really uncomfortable questions about how your privilege is allowing you to blithely ignore the reality of this worldview.

  7. Bushfire

    I often wish I disagreed with you, but, unfortunately, it’s all true.

  8. norbizness

    Why do that when Wheatsville has just expanded and dedicated significant square footage to the poley arts?

  9. mearl

    I notice that when dudes (especially academic dudes) refer to other dudes’ writing, theories, work, or abilities of any kind, they often use the terms “brilliant,” “great,” or “genius.” As in, “Dr. Dudebro, Ph.D.’s brilliant polemic on the evolutionary psychology underlying the male imperative to use rape as a strategic tool to genetically conquer rival nations cites the influence of the great Charles Darwin.”

    I’m not all that sure how women (especially academic women) refer to dudes or other women, but I suspect a gender-specific linguistic trend. Maybe I’ll do a study.

    When was the last time you read an article, review, or book – or listened to a lecture by an academic windbag – that made reference to “the great Madame Curie,” “the great Frida Kahlo,”or “the brilliant works of Gertrude Stein?”

  10. A Ginva

    Haha! nice one. Well, dudes think we can’t survive without being validated by them, that all we do is in the hope of gaining the slightest bit of attention – even if it’s stinking patronising contempt.

    That guy must have felt the same way a white rich guy would send some colour pencils to a kid in Africa or something, to get rid of white liberal guilt while reinforcing his sense of superiority. He maybe shed a tear, thinking “how generous I am!”

    By the way, there’s nothing I’ve disagreed with in IBTP sofar. I wish savage death island existed in real life. I’m sick of dude-o-land!

  11. incognotter

    I figure dudes like that are living out their conflicted need to suck up to women (you being a stand-in for all women because of the vag thing) because of how *we* rule the world via *their* biological “imperatives.” So he has to be obsequious but condescending at the same time, to assert his patriarchal superiority. If he ever did learn to take responsibility for his issues instead of projecting them onto women as a class, it really would change his life.

  12. Spiny Norman

    I’m a dude. I read all y I love poop! ur p I love poop! sts, m I love poop! st I love poop! f the c I love poop! mments, and learn a hell I love poop! f a l I love poop! t here — even th I love poop! ugh that’s ( I love poop! bvi I love poop! usly) n I love poop! t what m I love poop! tivates y I love poop! u.

  13. Ethan

    Awesome. Today was actually turning into kind of a shitty day, and then I open up my RSS reader and see this. I didn’t really expect a response at all, much less a post being based on my comment.

    Have a good one everybody

  14. MaryK

    “I often wish I disagreed with you, but, unfortunately, it’s all true.”

    seconded.

  15. crickets

    That email could have been written by two (dude)exes of mine – one who introduced me to this blog little suspecting how it would change my life and probably helped lead my thought processes toward dumping him (“Oh yeah it’s this blog by this crazy woman. She has good food pictures though.”), and one to whom i showed this blog, and was disappointed by his shrugging “yeah she writes well but she sounds really bitter about something” reaction – and they were both liberal nice guy dudes who would like NEVER oppress anyone. I suspect, then, that what this dude wrote is standard liberal nice-guy dude reaction to the truths Twisty tells. I agree more with this blog every day, and it’s still changing my life.

  16. apnea

    @Spiny Norman

    You and over nine thousand dudely lurkers out there.

  17. nails

    Hm I wonder what kind of tools he writes to say “I agree with your world view in its entirety”? I can’t think of one person I am completely in consensus with at all times, but then again I *think*. Saying “I disagree with your worldview” before an opinion is a lot like saying “that is my opinion” at the end of an opinion. It is self evident and a waste of text. If he wanted to bring up his world-view difference he should have brought up points, or just not said anything and complimented your writing. I am sure he didn’t want to only compliment you and therefore give the impression that he condones feminism. He probably thought “better tack on a sentence to take her down an appropriate number of pegs”. It is as if he writes from the perspective of the exclusive distributor of Jill’s self esteem. What a god damned mess to read, content-wise. It takes a real knob to pen that kind of shit.

  18. Comrade PhysioProf

    It’s a lot easier for a d00d to tell someone like Twisty to “keep up the good work” than it is to actually admit to yourself that you are an agent of oppression.

  19. Ayla

    The email was quite obviously sent from Mystery the PUA. He was negging you.

  20. Kea

    Ah, yes, it’s just like when the self congratulatory Boy Einstein doods (in droves) tell me to keep up the good science outreach work, because of course I’m not actually doing real research.

  21. Jill

    “none of your posts have changed my life”

    Ha! Well a number of them have changed mine, so I guess I was projecting!

    “I would absolutely attend your pole-dancing classes at Whole Foods. There won’t be any poles and class will meet elsewhere, right?

    As you wish. Cocktails on the Lido Deck, then? Shall we say 5-ish?

    “I’m a dude.”

    Who didn’t read the Guidelines for Commenters! To the Enpoopulator with you!

    The email was quite obviously sent from Mystery the PUA. He was negging you.

    Haw! Good one.

  22. West

    Oh yes. Nothing like Internet dude language to make a perfectly reasonable compliment (he’s not wrong, you ARE bringing up the general level of Internet discourse) sound condescending. (See also; “Great post!” Those words are harbingers of many a lengthy pretentious dude comment.) I don’t just see it with men speaking to women, either – they do it to each other, on the Internet and in person, every compliment laden with “I am the sole arbiter of taste and excellence, and you have pleased me.” Can’t even show sincere appreciation without power games.

  23. Soporificat

    @Ayla–Ah, you made me actually laugh out loud. Thanks!

  24. Jill

    Because may $DEITY forbid that someone both disagree with you and pay you a compliment.

    It isn’t really a compliment, though, is it? It’s more of a “despite what you are, you’re worthy of my attention” type-deal.

    I can’t fucking stand it when dudes tell me what a worthwhile, entertaining blogger I am. Who the fuck cares? Tell me instead what you did to stop rape today, motherfucker.

    Oops, was that ungracious? I should curtsey or something? Kiss my ass.

    Women disagree with me all day long without one-downing me.

  25. JetGirl

    I fully support any and all pole-dancing classes at Whole Foods, since then I know the poles will be organic AND sustainable. That is the only thing until now that has prevented me from gyrating in a thong (fair-trade, natch) and stilettos (made from vegan leather) for dewds. You know, because that prevents them from going on shooting sprees due to True Forced Loneliness.
    Thank you, Ms. Faster/Psmith, for changing my life with that promise.
    Thank you.

  26. Saurs

    Is it really worthy of note for a dude to mention he disagrees with a feminist worldview? You know how women are in a perpetual state of consent? Men are in a perpetual state of “disagreeing” with women’s fundamental humanity. It’s crass and boring to keep reminding us.

    I’m surprised he didn’t begin with that standard whinge we all know and love: “I know I’m just a man, but…”

  27. Saurs

    As much as I am sick to death of Hugo Schwyzer, he did pen a good 101-type post on the subject of actively preventing anti-feminist dudes from hijacking women’s spaces with their self-centered questions, feigned fears of female violence, passive-aggressive insults, childish reproaches to intellectual challenges, et cet.

  28. Bushfire

    Twisty, you seem to be checking here often but your email is on hiatus.

    A Ginva and I are still waiting to hear if we have permission to translate your blog into French.

    Please answer!

  29. Notorious Ph.D.

    @ Bushfire: I’m dying to see how “empornulated”, “obsteperal lobe” and “emblooeyed” translate into French. Probably with more diacritical marks for me to mess up, no doubt.

  30. GMM

    Who’s this Clarissa person and why does she hyper-analyze everything on this blog? Just followed the pingback and she’s really taking you to task for not learning how to accept a compliment like a lady, and therefore ruining feminism:

    Clarissa says, “The problem with this breed of feminists is that they are so extreme that they get noticed while the more sedate among us don’t. Then, people are terrified of the entire movement because they think one of us might go off at them in response to any comment, no matter how innocent.”

    Jill, you’re terrifying the men!

  31. Kristine

    “Please keep up the good work — there is a paucity of actual quality content in the blogosphere, and I daresay that you’re propping up the mean.”

    That particular sentence irks me to no end. He’s just sooooo smart, that all of the unintelligent dribblings of the uneducated hillbillies who dare entertain themselves in a public forum hurt his delicate intellect. Luckily, he can count on those feisty feminist chicks to raise the bell-curve. Ugh. Its just so classist.

  32. sjaustin

    GMM, I wouldn’t call it hyper-analysis. It’s more like de-analysis. She completely undoes Twisty’s analysis and insists that everything should be taken at face value. It’s just the usual anti-feminist “GHOD why are you reading so much into things? You’re just looking for things to get angry about!” The most distressing part about it is that this garbage is being spewed by a self-described feminist.

  33. Milly

    Bushfire thirded. That consent post has changed my life.

  34. Ayla

    Sedate. HA!

    If I recognize the small picture on Clarissa’s blog correctly, she also makes ridiculous videos on youtube.

    I think she’s looking for some head-pats and heard there might be some handed out around here. If she only knew.

  35. Bushfire

    @ Bushfire: I’m dying to see how “empornulated”, “obsteperal lobe” and “emblooeyed” translate into French. Probably with more diacritical marks for me to mess up, no doubt.

    I’m dying to see that too. As a language nerd, I would LOVE to find a way to translate those impossible-to-translate terms. Basically, new terms would have to be created that make sense in French. But we can’t start to translate without Twisty’s permission.

    Who’s this Clarissa person and why does she hyper-analyze everything on this blog?

    I also clicked on Clarissa’s blog and it was so classic! She doesn’t understand Twisty at all, and she’s working to appease her male friends that she’s not THAT kind of feminist. It’s true, folks, this blog is for advanced blamers only.

  36. Vibrating_Liz

    The Clarissa person appears to be a bright multilingual young academic “pro sex” fun-feminist with a prolific self-promotional blog. She has recently made it her mission to denounce various other feminist blogs, including this one. She has a tiresome affinity for false dichotomies, disingenuosity, and narcissistic bragging. I finally had to stop following the Feminist Blogs feed because her ubiquitous posts made it so goddamned annoying.

  37. Jill

    I thought I already told you guys to translate to your coeur’s content. But maybe I forgot to press “send”. Send me the first draft! J’attends!

    As for Clarissa: She appears to be worried that the radfems are queering the deal that the funfeminists have struck with DudeNation. That deal is, funfeminists agree to defend femininity for the dudes, and dudes agree to — wait, what is it dudes agree to again? I forget. Oh that’s right, NOTHING.

    It’s always the radfem’s fault that men are so mean. We’re always turning the dudes against us with our unpleasant demeanor. As we know, oppression isn’t wrong if the oppressed don’t behave themselves.

  38. Dawn

    I don’t usually comment, but I read this blog almost every day. It has definitely turned me on to some advanced blaming, and I agree that it is sometimes uncomfortable to hear the truth.

    I remember Clarissa. She commented on this blog to defend the Dove ads because “they have to sell their stuff” and at least they’re using “real” women in the ads (because everyone knows thin women aren’t real women and aren’t enduring their fair share of misogyny). I get her. I used to have a libertarian feminist blog (ha!) and got the same head-pats from the dudes. Thank goodness I grew out of that phase.

  39. damequixote

    “Because I was totally thinking about packing up shop and opening up a pole dancing studio at Whole Foods.”

    Gawdalmighty that’s hilarious. On the dood-tube I heard a discussion about the US women’s soccer team popularity and ensuing confusion it has caused dude/sports nation that was weirdly similar to this patronizing drivel.

    Men with hair transplants were freaking over the suddenly sold out women’s soccer games, requests to broadcast said games and bantering about this odd notion that people might be watching because (hold onto your lapdogs) THE WOMEN MIGHT ACTUALLY BE GOOD. Of course, this could not be allowed to stand.

    The conversation nosedived into Hope Solo’s sexah-ness and “how to keep THAT going.”

    Well, a soccer goal already has a couple of poles….

    If the dood nation “sports” channel has it’s say, the US soccer team will be your first students. Then all of you can lay down your mad skills and fall back on,um, the pole.

    Which is all they want, really.

    Glad you have a backup plan. It was only a matter of time before you impressed one of them and would have nothing else to strive for. Salut~

  40. angie

    Clarissa is under the impression that she can get the dudes to like her (really, really like her!) if she is super-grateful (like a slobbering golden retriever) for whatever crumbs they throw her way and thus, is shocked when another woman doesn’t roll over showing her belly when receiving dudely pats on the head. I used to think like that too, until I found this blog. Hey! It really *has* changed my life.

  41. humanbein

    As we know, oppression isn’t wrong if the oppressed don’t behave themselves.

    There’s a whole year’s worth of knowledge right there. One of the most essential parts of consciousness-raising is defining oppression in such a way that even an oppressor gets it.

  42. stacey

    Seems like superior dude’s email came out of recovery (I shall attempt blockquotes):

    [blockquote]Ethan
    July 31, 2011 at 12:55 pm
    Awesome. Today was actually turning into kind of a shitty day, and then I open up my RSS reader and see this. I didn’t really expect a response at all, much less a post being based on my comment.

    Have a good one everybody[/blockquote]

    I bring this up because 1) he’s probably bragging to everyone he knows that he got featured on a radfem blog and 2) it made me lol how spectacularly he misses the point.

  43. AlienNumber

    Dudes. Is there anything more Boring??

    (I’ll have something more elaborate to say when this vodka wears off.)

  44. random_anomaly

    stacey, your blockquotes are right except replace [] with .

  45. random_anomaly

    Sorry, that didn’t post correctly at all.
    Replace [ with the "less than" symbol and ] with the “greater than” symbol.

  46. A Ginva

    Whhhoooo! Bushfire, let’s translate on. This will be great fun! I’ll email you in a bit.

  47. Comrade PhysioProf

    IBTP totally needs to also be translated into motherfucken austrobelgian!

  48. MaryK

    AlienNumber! Yes! That is my favorite post! Rather, it is called “Hanging Chads of Savage Death Island bore the shit out of spinster aunt.”

    There is so much wisdom in that one. It took me years of reading, soul-searching and questioning to get where I am today. The “veil” didn’t come off easy, and it was incredibly horrifying when it did. I find it irritating when someone so blithely waltzes up and wants me to explain in an hour or two the whole sum total of feminism *and* defend it against their “unique viewpoint”.

    Even such conversations, like a “train [that] keeps pulling into the train station over and over and over”, made me realize how systematic this whole scenario is. By and large, they want to be spoon-fed ideas for entertainment and are unwilling to examine their own deeply held convictions. It’s a game to them–safari to Savage Death Island. “I visited their Island, and hunted a most dangerous game. I even spoke to the natives, and lived to tell the tale!” It is intellectually lazy, and it’s always the same.

  49. tinfoil hattie

    I caught the tail end off an ad a day or so ago in which two dudes were dude-bro-ing each other about women: “Wimmen! Gotta hate ‘em, ya know!” and such. Tag line? “Come ON! You know we WON as soon as they started taking pole dancing as fitness classes.

    Put THAT in your nicey-nice pipe and smoke it, Clarissa!

  50. Jezebella

    I saw that one too. I have no recollection of what they were advertising, but it pissed me right off.

  51. Bushfire

    “Come ON! You know we WON as soon as they started taking pole dancing as fitness classes.

    It’s a preview for a movie. I don’t remember the title, but some sort of summer rom-com.

  52. Saurs

    Is it that Freaky Friday for Dudebros one?

  53. Cycles

    When I was a young ‘un, I wrote a short story about a nine-year-old who played violin. She saved her money for months to see a concert by a famous dude violin idol. The girl won a pre-concert music trivia game and scored a backstage pass, and after the brilliant concert which was the highlight of her life, she waited backstage to tell the famous dude violin idol how much she loved his work. When he finally arrived, the soloist pushed her out of the way and snarled, “Jesus christ, get out of the way, kid” before launching into a limo and speeding off.

    That’s where the story ended, but in my imagination, the kid grew a bit wiser that night, and learned that giving a compliment does not guarantee a good outcome. Sometimes ants are just ants, whether or not they say nice things about the elephant that’s about to step on them.

  54. chibi

    This blog and the blamer comments have changed my life – I don’t feel like I’m going crazy anymore, or that it’s only me who has noticed something is up. Thank you all.

  55. Anne

    @tinfoil hattie – Was that an ad for an episode of Tosh.O? It sounds like something that unfunny douchebag would say. If he pretended to be Mexican, he’d be another Carlos Mencia.

  56. tinfoil hattie

    @Anne, I don’t know where I heard it. Coulda been anywhere, right?

  57. tinfoil hattie

    My mood is much improved today, as I just pissed off a dudebro at Feministe – he provided lotsa good ol’ advice for the women’s soccer team, and I commented on his mansplaining. HE IS SOOOOO PISSED OFF! And I am NOT a bucket of sunshine, which was my JOB, of course!

  58. redpeachmoon

    This blog has changed my life, in many ways: with hilarity, and with great discomfort, but mostly with the ringing recognition of the truth. SDI is an oasis for me!
    Can anyone lead me to the essay on consent?

  59. yttik

    I like the dude’s mathy ending. Just in case “paucity” didn’t awe you, he’s trying to amaze you with his knowledge of modes, medians, and means. Girly brains struggle with math, you know.

    Your dude fan is a walking stereotype. He considers the highest compliment you can pay a woman is that she be “stimulating and entertaining,” just like if you really were pole dancing at a Whole Foods. You can spot a genuine feminist man, all five or six of them, by the way they fail to make it all about them. It’s a rare breed indeed, that doesn’t believe you exist simply to “stimulate and entertain.”

  60. Anne

    “Come ON! You know we WON as soon as they started taking pole dancing as fitness classes.”

    That sounds like a joke dudes would rip off from radfems.

    They also coopted feminists’ use of ‘douchebag’ as an epithet for misogynists and watered it down to mean any guy in an Ed Hardy shirt.

  61. A Ginva

    This is the essay on consent, if I’m not wrong (you mean the recent one by Jill, right?)
    http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2011/07/18/a-bit-of-lighthearted-fun/

    SDI is my haven, wherever I go in the world, I rush to IBTP for doses of fresh air, for a good laugh, for freedom and sanity. THANKS!! Can’t wait for the moment when French blamers will be able to read it. French feminism is in such a state of decrepitude, radfems are old (70s generation), tired and worn out, ill…

  62. Crystal

    Oh gawd, I’m never going to understand such dudely condescension. The whole point of the e-mail is to stroke his own ego, so he can prove to himself how righteous and noble he is for being “respectful” to someone he disagrees with. Why bother? Why aren’t people just satisfied with merely *thinking* these things of themselves instead of bothering other people to prove their “righteousness”? I see this all the time, even from my so-called Nigel. He sometimes feels the need to come in and shit in my cozy radfem fort with his snooty condescension. Bah! And Clarissa’s blog is terrifyingly misogynistic. I once took a peek but it was so terrible that it sent me running full speed back to my cozy radfem fort.

  63. Bushfire

    Tinfoil hattie, I went over there and read your thing on Feministe. I see your point, but Feministe is a liberal feminist blog, and they have no problem listening to the opinions of men, and funfeminists, and BDSMers, and “sex-pos” people, etc. Usually I just skip over those posts. (or leave derailing comments haha).

  64. tinfoil hattie

    Yeah, I know what I’m dealing with over there, Bushfire. You don’t have to comment or read there, of course. I sometimes do.

  65. Jill

    Hey redpeachmoon, I jaw more or less incessantly about the bogosity of consent within a patriarchal paradigm. Here is the executive summary.

  66. Kea

    Dammit, you must have cursed us, Jill. I just got ANOTHER head pat email, telling me that the dudes would surely stop ignoring me one day, because I was right!

  67. sjaustin

    The “we won when women started doing pole dancing for exercise” line is from the movie Crazy Stupid Love, which appears to be a crazy stupid smorgasbord of heteronormativity, gender essentialism, male gazing, and other assorted patriarchal tibits.

  68. Anne

    Just this morning a customer service knob told me “don’t worry about it” in response to my customer service question. Indeed, there’s some sort of patronizing dude pandemic going on today.

  69. Josquin

    I admit it. I just gave Clarissa a head-pat. Except that I might have used a bit more force than what would normally be called a “pat”.

  70. minervaK

    Hell, I disagree with shit I see here alla fucking time, but I don’t feel the need to crow about it. I disagree and move on. When a dudebro disagrees with something, see, something must be SAID. The fact must be pronounced, a salvo must be fired, lines in the sand must be drawn, idealogical territory MUST BE MARKED (usually with verbal urine). Because that’s how patriarchy-supporters do shit. It’s all about shoving your way to the front of the stage so you can show everybody your enormous weiner. Some days I feel sorry for the poor bastards.

    IBTP has given me hope many a day when I despaired at going on. Plus it makes me laugh like hell. Sometimes hollowly, yes, but laugh all the same, which beats slitting my wrists.

  71. minervaK

    *ideological*

  72. Jill

    Plus it makes me laugh like hell. Sometimes hollowly, yes [...]

    The hollow, mirthless laugh is Savage Death Island’s national anthem.

  73. Josquin

    -What Maggie said.

  74. Lidon

    The email was quite obviously sent from Mystery the PUA. He was negging you.

    Good god, these negging types are ubiquitous! I’m so glad a word was invented for this behavior so that it can be appropriately mocked at all times.

  75. Lidon

    Oops, accidentally hit the Blame Button before adding the html.

    Who didn’t read the Guidelines for Commenters! To the Enpoopulator with you!

    Haha! The best and only way to handle such comments. This blog HAS changed my life and for that, thank you.

  76. ashley

    I dunno. I sometimes disagree with you, but that’s four years after your blog changed my life so I had the time and self respect to sit around nitpicking radical feminist theory instead of having crappy relationships with disrespectful assholes.

  77. Spiny Norman

    Whatthpoopyhpoopyll, Twisty? Just dpoopylpoopytpoopy it or mock it. Thpoopy poop thing is witlpoopyss.

  78. keira

    Heya tinfoil hattie. Thanks for that, my day is much better now too.

    I particularly liked the blogger’s noticing that some fans actually knew who the players were. At a womens sporting event! How quaint!

    I commented too, but I refuse to use my real name in dudecommentland, due to the creepy and condescending use of it that usually follows.

  79. AlienNumber

    The hollow, mirthless laugh is Savage Death Island’s national anthem.

    Dear Jill – when you write things like that above is when I get most romantic and wish we’d get lesbian married (to each other). You know, if we actually were to meet and see that we were perfect for each other and if marriage wasn’t such a crock etc.

    I make killer margaritas!

    Seriously though, I have such a giant crush on you. Le sigh.

    This blog changed my life. And my friends’ lives too, they are so lucky that I found it.

  80. slashy

    This blog has changed my life in the following practical ways:
    (1) A dude I know with a horrific pro-rape t-shirt suffered some ACTUAL REPERCUSSIONS in his life when this blog saw fit to feature it: that post, the comments thread and an array of spin-off posts around the feminist blogs were great. This explosion of excellent text analysis gave some really good tools and strategies to the women who had the misfortune to be associated with that dude, and while we didn’t suddenly dismantle patriarchy with any snappy one-liners, we did succeed in making his life a good deal less blindly privileged for a while.
    (2) I now write down the URL to this blog on a regular basis (with a stern command: READ THOROUGHLY AND DO NOT COMMENT) when I find myself in sticky patriarchy-denying conversations with would-be-progressive queer men who just wish that I would be nicer in making my point to them. Homework assigned, conversation concluded, now bring me a margherita.
    (3) I get to know myself as a radical feminist again. Thanks, Twisty/Jill, for rescuing that term from the jaws of some people who seemed significantly more interested in harassing my trans friends than dismantling the patriarchy. Margherita time with radical feminist trans women at the bar is greatly enhanced by us attempting to pronounce “megacorporotheocracy” after the third round.
    (4) My appreciation of tacos has increased significantly since I began reading.
    So, thanks, Twisty/Jill. No head pats, but a lot of appreciation. This blog is the best feminist text for life I’ve found since I made my way through the classics as a teenager.

  81. Jill

    Fight the power, Slashy! And thanks.

    By the way, the phrase “hollow, mirthless laugh” isn’t my own. I borrow it from PG Wodehouse. It expresses the spinster aunt response to la condition tacqueau more adequately than any other three English words.

  82. redpeachmoon

    Thank you for the link Jill, brilliant and insightful as usual.
    Beautifully said Slashy! and thanks to all Blamers who remind me I’m not alone, give me language to respond, and strength to carry on. Boldly. And less lonely.

  83. Bushfire

    Has anyone else noticed a dude named Spiny Norman who talks using the word poop in every word?

    I nominate him for expunging.

  84. Ottawa Gardener

    Well, you do have mad skillz Jill and I can say that your blog has changed my worldview and helped clarify several issues for me as have several other blamers on this site. I also recommend it regularly. Thanks.

  85. Former Blamer

    Apropos of nothing, how about some Norwegian lesbian superheroes?

    http://www.queerlife.co.za/test/news/july2011/6731-norway-lesbian-heroes.html

  86. Foilwoman

    Twisty/Jill/However you wish to be addressed: You are a great writer and you have helped save my life. I now need to improve my French so I can have the pleasure of saying my obstreperal lobe has been blown in French as well as English. Can you make a program so I can empoopulate male co-workers malesplaining comments when they are speaking? That’s what’s needed next.

  87. paper doll

    I find age also makes one a happy blamer…you are just too tired, busy and experienced to pretend things are otherwise than what they are or give a shit how the truth shocks.

    If one doesn’t get thier consciousness raised by a certain due date, nature often steps in .Clever

  88. buttercup

    The empoopulator may be savage death island’s greatest gift to the world yet. If only, as Foilwoman suggests, we could develop it for conversational use. As it is, I will be hearing doods bloviating using the word poopy for the rest of my days. The real Spiny Norman would know better.

  89. incognotter

    @ yttik

    “Your dude fan is a walking stereotype.”

    I misread that as a “wanking stereotype.” And he is.

  90. Saralyn

    Hoo Boy, Twisty! I am glad that you “entertain” me with your “thought-stimulating” point of view (you are actually-very entertaining). Only a dude would say that shit. Your blog really has changed my life as I technically grew up in the third wave feminism time but that felt ever so wrong…because it is. Once you take the red pill there is no going back and the discomfort in the truth is always present. At least I know about SDI now and I can come here when I can no longer stomach the patriarchy’s putrid stench in my nostrils!

  91. Cade

    Yes, this blog has definitely revived my now-51-year-old feminist heart. Thank you for that.

  92. A Ginva

    The empoopulator made me laugh to tears! Second you buttercup. As empoopulating conversations might be difficult, we could start by empoopulating dude songs, films, books, paintings, photos, articles, journals (et al)!! That’s a lot to empoopulate already. I’m getting myself a glass of wine from the Rhine valley. Salute!

  93. Fictional Queen

    I just immediately stop reaing comments that start with:
    I’m a dude…
    As a man…
    From a male perspective…
    Well,I am a man…
    Haha! The Unique Male Perspective is horribly boring,as if we don’t already know! If we didn’t already know…what the hell do you thik we’re criticizing then?!

  94. minervaK

    The hollow, mirthless laugh is Savage Death Island’s national anthem.

    Word, sister.

  95. minervaK

    I think P. G. Wodehouse was secretly a woman.

  96. Ex-Advertising, Now Free

    This Dudely Non-Firrmation reminds me so much of the dialog, online and off, I’ve heard over the years from the hipster men, women, and het couples we unfortunately share a neighborhood with.

    They take a chin-stroking (or unkempt beard-stroking) approach to feminist issues, for they are so very academic, you see! The guys are super-feminist, so they say, taking turns lecturing women about how they Know Better about what oppresses us than we do and asserting that they are Very, Very Feminist, except in questions of abortion, where they are concerned about When Life Begins ™.

    The funfem women are meanwhile all busy getting empowerfulized by pairing up to get their crotches waxed and prancing about in Ironic Colorblind Grandma outfits with teetering heels to impress their hirsute, Pabst-belching compadres.

    Throw in the humanities PhDs, the organic baby food, the fixer-upper in city limits, and the insistence that all of them are Changing the World, and I’ve pretty much summed up what “radicalism” looks like to hipster youth.

    The whole scene, of course, provides fodder for more than a few hollow, mirthless laughs. So I suppose it has some entertainment utility.

  97. Cootie Twoshoes

    Hanging out on Savage Death Island is as close as I ever feel to shedding all my internalized femininity crap, so I proudly add my name to those whose lives have been changed by Twisty & the Blametariat.

    Another round of margs as we sing the SDI national anthem!

  98. Anne

    @Fictional Queen et al

    Ever notice how blog comments defending male privilege and the status quo tend to be excessively long and wordy? If I have to hit the scroll wheel more than once to see the entire length of a blog comment that amounts to “lighten up your oppression is no big thing,” it’s 99.999999% sure to have been written by a bloviating dude and that ish is getting skipped. As another feminist on another blog once noted, that much horse shit, there’s got to be a pony in there somewhere.

  99. stacey

    “Ironic Colorblind Grandma outfits”

    LOL you laid me dead.

  100. Jezebella

    Hey, now, don’t be dissing Humanities PhDs!!! Otherwise, yeesh, glad I don’t live in Hipsterville. I would get a headache from rolling my eyes all the time. On the other hand, I live in redneckville, where the food and beer is total crap AND everybody’s a yahoo.

    Anne: I! KNOW! I just yesterday explained to a guy on Google+ that his posts were too verbose and mansplainy and made me nod off, because, ohmigod, they’re SO BORING. I bet when I go back there will be another long screed on what an asshole I am.

  101. Tanya

    This blog has definitely changed my life for the better. It is the only truly radical feminist blog I have ever read. Even though I am a mommy in a hetero relationship I do aspire to one day call myself a radfem. The post on consent definitely changed my life. It took me a few years to realize the truth and beauty of your consent scheme. My brain is so swamped with patriarchal poison that I didn’t understand it and it made me defensive as all hell. That frame of mind should be known as the Clarissa stage of feminism. I am getting such a kick out of her, she obviously can’t get enough of SDI and deep down in her heat of hearts she knows how right you are. That’s why she keeps coming back! She protests too much.

  102. roozen

    Twisty/Jill is amazing. I said it better under the influence back in ’06 http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2006/03/30/i-love-you-susan/ Still reading and learning after all these years, thank you!

  103. Ex-Advertising, Now Free

    @Jezebella

    Humanities PhDs are fine things in and of themselves. They should not be used as justification to mansplain why those of the XY persuasion “win” at being feminists, however.

    On an only slightly related note, I need to beat a hasty retreat to Savage Death Island, or maybe a remote Montana cabin, or something. Especially after the recent debt ceiling “compromise.” It’s enough bull-$hittery and give-aways to the $uper-rich to make this Blamer take up heavy drinking again.

    Margarita!

  104. combat baby

    I mostly lurk around here, but this seems like an appropriate time to add my voice to the chorus of appreciative blamers whose lives have been changed by this blog. I started reading a few years ago, and in that time I’ve gone from an empowerfulized funfeminist eager to please all the liberal dudes around me to said dudes’ worst nightmare: a hairy, lesbian radical feminist who couldn’t care less what they think. Thank you, Jill and fellow blamers, for all the mind-blowing and hilarious patriarchy blaming material that I have spent countless hours reading on this blog! Y’all have made the sometimes painful and isolating process of finally seeing the patriarchy more bearable for me. Now if only Savage Death Island existed in real life…

  105. Ottawa Gardener

    I say we all meet up for some mixed drinks at Savage Death island. I don’t like to trash people who aren’t trash but I just visited the pingback and it was snooze worth. I need a radfem party.

  106. TwissB

    I think that Spiny Norman sees himself as the giant hedgehog out to terrorize Jill Dinsdale Piranha and make her teeth move around in her head. But Spiny has committed the fatal error of attacking Dinsdale’s cruel, but fair, sister Twisty Doug Piranha who will utter a small cough like a sheep caught in a mist on a mountaintop and calmly proceed to nail Spiny’s pelvis to a cakestand. Moral: Spiny was asking for it when he blundered onto Savage Death Island.

  107. Rididill

    ‘That frame of mind should be known as the Clarissa stage of feminism.’

    Snort. Love it. Having seen that site it’s quite clear she has a desperate need to believe she’s totally free, in control of her life and never does anything for anyone, and if she just keeps saying it enough it will become true.

    Ah, how it reminds me of my own Clarissa stage.

    This blog changed my life. And enabled me to change things in my actual life. It’s just awesome all round really. Never underestimate the power of a woman who refuses to apologise for her own existence, or that of other women for that matter.

    I daresay it should continue.

  108. Bushfire

    Read this article if you want to fucking jump off a bridge afterwards.

    http://msmagazine.com/blog/blog/2011/07/22/british-judges-free-child-rapists-say-12-year-old-girls-wanted-sex/

    Fucking hell.

  109. Former Blamer

    Speaking of deluded funfeminists, I found this while poking around on the internet looking for stuff about Exceptional Woman Syndrome.

    http://www.theaccidentalfeminist.com/

    Hasn’t been updated in a few years. She’s probably blogging at http://www.theaccidentalstepfordwife.com now.

  110. Former Blamer

    Sorry for more links, but I found something interesting and blamey here.

    “Privilege in general is maintained by its exercise. It must remain substantially unquestioned by the non-privileged and this is achieved through the constant, easy, more-or-less unconscious exercise of it. The constancy and the ease make it seem natural, and then render it almost imperceptible, like the weight of one’s clothes on one’s body.”

    From http://www.feminist-reprise.org/docs/frye.htm

  111. Ottawa Gardener

    @TwissB: That was some interesting imagery you were mangling my mind with. Coughing sheep piranhas and cake pedestals.

    @Former Blamer: Funnily enough my children commented on how it was strange that after wearing your clothes for awhile, you felt naked and yet you are not. So true.

  112. Bushfire

    Former Blamer, have you read lots of Feminist Reprise? It is an absolutely wonderful source of radical feminism. Sadly, the blogger, Amy, has stopped blogging, but her archives are still there. There is an article linked there called “The Goddess is Fat” that really rocks my world. I printed it out and I read it every so often.

  113. Fictional Queen

    This blog changed my life and the way I think forever,too.When I first started reading it,it was just so scary and painful and crazy!But then,it just keeps you sane…

  114. minervaK

    I think that Spiny Norman sees himself as the giant hedgehog out to terrorize Jill Dinsdale Piranha and make her teeth move around in her head. But Spiny has committed the fatal error of attacking Dinsdale’s cruel, but fair, sister Twisty Doug Piranha who will utter a small cough like a sheep caught in a mist on a mountaintop and calmly proceed to nail Spiny’s pelvis to a cakestand. Moral: Spiny was asking for it when he blundered onto Savage Death Island.

    I don’t know what any of this means, but ELL OH ELL.

  115. stacey

    @Bushfire – I had to mosey over to Feminist Reprise and take a gander at that article. It’s FABULOUS.

    The Goddess is Fat

  116. nails

    Don’t be so mean to Clarissa, guys. I am just glad I didn’t have a blog when I was in that phase.

  117. Ayla

    Uh, I dunno, nails. That bit about her own sexual gratification being, like, the end all be all of everything moral was actually kinda chilling.

  118. Lidon

    Ughh I really wish I hadn’t given in to my petty curiosity in order to read Clarissa’s blog as well as the heartening comments. Quick, somebody post something here! I need to cleanse my palate!

  119. buttercup

    TwissB, excellent. That spiny norman was a gentleman who knew how to treat a female impersonator.

  120. Cycles

    Fuck it – I’m going to quell my urge to discuss Clarissa’s blog, because the only things I have to say are specific criticisms of certain points, which ultimately ain’t productive. I don’t have Twisty’s ability to flesh out greater themes from narrow examples. So, instead, a sprinkle-dappled non-sequiturial distraction: behold this recipe for cake batter flavored rice krispie treats! http://gimmesomeoven.com/cake-batter-rice-crispy-treats/

  121. anne

    Hey here’s a new one. A rapist was convicted for a change.

    http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/44021900/ns/us_news-crime_and_courts/t/polygamist-leader-found-guilty-child-rape-case/

    Yet even with that conviction, the article still qualifies the victims as “alleged.”

  122. nails

    That isn’t just any rapist, its Warren Jeffs. The previous prophet, Rulon Jeffs, got away with it for years, and so do other polygamist leaders in the US and Canada. It is pretty hard to get out of child rape charges when you get photos taken of yourself making out with 12 year olds and then impregnate them repeatedly. All they have to do is figure out how old his kids are and how old the girls were when they were pregnant. A jury or a judge could think all of them are tarts who begged for it but it doesn’t matter as long as good instruction is given on the grounds for conviction. What is fucked is that he got away with it for so long and that people complain about the raids on these crazy compounds. Do you remember the polygamy moms on Oprah? People tend to think that its just a different way to live rather than the American saudi arabia. The societies are monuments to how the sexual appetites of patriarchs can ruin the lives of everyone else in the community. Lots of babies die because so much inbreeding goes on, and many of the groups do not believe in using modern medicine. The majority of dudes get kicked out without a basic education, because they are competition for the old men who make the rules. We all know what happens to women. What always struck me as strange about the mormon doctrine of polygamy was that god didn’t make more women than men, but needing more women than men was part of the plan. How did god manage to fuck up basic math?

  123. Mildred

    http://www.feminisnt.com/

    Its rather chilling when you find a liberal, well-written and flashy anti feminist blog, especially when its written by a woman. A highlight:
    “Operating an adult site with menstrual blood is a thousand times more transgressive than photos of punk girls kissing.”

    The top entry is a lovely (wo)mansplanation of why feminism is broken.

  124. Jezebella

    “Math is HARD!” –
    God

  125. TwissB

    @buttercup. Right, although Wikipedia sets us both straight by attributing the nailing predilection and other character traits to Dindsale. Now if someone can just come up with correct wording of the Wodehouse reference. Ms. Psmith?

  126. allhellsloose

    I’m with Lailla too. You speak sense. Which is why I read this blog. Forever onwards Twisty you great big brainy person.

  127. Ayla

    Mildred, that’s yet another example of a woman who wants to ride on the backs of feminists while giving them the ol’ boot to the head at the same time.

  128. IrishUp

    Pendantry alert: what the Mormans – and almost every other multi-person marriage allowing society on earth – do is only polygyny. If it were really polygymy, the women would get to have more than one husband too. But we all know how down with the polyandry dudez are.

    Blame on.

  129. IrishUp

    Hah! ‘Mormans’! I see what I did there. Too bad it was just poor spelling.

  130. Anya

    Dear Twisty,

    You are awesome and brilliant and hilarious. I had briefly fallen off the radical-feminist bandwagon into a stinky pit of complacency until I happened upon your blog, which jolted me back into reality and rage. You helped me find my marbles. Thank you!! (But no thank you for making me snort loudly at work, while trying to disguise blog-reading as Important Email-reading, and undoubtedly confirming my boss’s suspicion that I am completely superfluous and should be fired.)

    With awe and gratitude,

    Anya

    P.S. Gack! Sorry about all the “I”s and “me”s.

  131. shopstewardess

    @TwissB: I just googled “P G Wodehouse “hollow, mirthless laugh”" and got this blog as the number one result. All hail to the inimitable (Jill) Psmith.

    Secondary references were to The Inimitable Jeeves.

  132. susanw

    The toughest job under patriarchy is pretending we don’t mind. Oppression blindness is essential to that pillar of femininity performance, and as many here have pointed out, men exercising privilege and women frantically pretending we don’t mind combine to make male supremacy “normal”. On Savage Death Island we’re free to see oppression and free to hate it; we can rage and howl, laugh at the absurdity, mourn the cruelty, and fight back. The non-threatening funfems’ overt “I Don’t Mind” campaign is unsustainable because they have overlooked the essence of male dominance: the more we accept, the further they will push the envelope. Patriarchy demands that we act as if we don’t mind what men do to us, and then they disdainfully up the ante because we (sluts, weaklings, doormats, idiots)deserve it, and besides, we don’t mind.

  133. nails

    irishup-

    Joseph Smith (the founder of mormonism) did marry women who were married to other men. It is a big hush-hush secret in the church, and I don’t know if other people did it after that…but yeah, it was genuine polygamy. There is one polygamist cult that is a weird mix of hippy shit that includes drugs and orgies, I don’t know how they could really keep it hetero all the way. Most are just doing polygyny though, for sure.

  134. Anne

    @nails

    I’ve seen cases with about as much evidence as this one and juries and medias and everyone else has always come up with some excuse to get a guy out of it.

  135. Cycles

    @Mildred: I had to go check out the link just to see what “operating an adult site with menstrual blood” meant. I imagined she was proposing that menstrual blood could be poured into some kind of space-age contraption that converts it into electricity to run a server farm hosting one’s web site. Which would be transgressive indeed. Of the laws of physics, for one thing.

  136. GMM

    Irish Up – Mormonism wasn’t originally a polygamous (sorry, polygynous) religion. When Joseph Smith got caught doing it he suddenly received a very convenient ‘revelation’ from god, who told him that it was not only OK but one of the most sacred sacraments men can engage in.

    When his wife Emma found out about it she tossed the document of this new revelation into the fireplace. She told him if he can marry other women, then she can marry other men too.

    God then spoke to Joseph again and said that if any woman, especially EMMA, tried to marry muliple husbands, they would be “destroyed.”

    Joseph married many underage girls, telling them that if they refused, they and their families would be damned to hell.

    It’s funny how the mainstream Mormon church tries to distance themselves from people like Warren Jeffs and Brian David Mitchell, when they pretty much did what their founder did, rape young girls under the guise of ‘sacred marriage.’

    And in an official statement by the polygamous LDS Church issued after Jeff’s conviction, they said they absolutely deplored the abuse of children, but the reason it festers is because polygamy is illegal. (Kind of sounds like the pro-prostitution argument.)

    I agree with nails, it IS the American saudi arabia. I highly recommend the documentary Damned To Heaven if you want to see what conditions women and girls live under in these compounds, and the way boys are tossed out and left to fend for themselves for being more attractive competition for these old pedophiles.

  137. Margaret

    “…men exercising privilege and women frantically pretending we don’t mind combine to make male supremacy “normal”..”

    On a camping trip with the P, the women did everything they did at home only it was ten times harder because everything was in boxes, tents, boats and campers, and they looked after the children and laundry besides, while the men sat around the campfires drinking beer.

    The women’s faces were rather dead. Tired. With pasted on smiles and forced laughter. And then after they got back home, they had to listen to their husbands talk about how much fun they had. The women agreed in unison.

    Chilling.

  138. Jill

    The non-threatening funfems’ overt “I Don’t Mind” campaign is unsustainable because they have overlooked the essence of male dominance: the more we accept, the further they will push the envelope. Patriarchy demands that we act as if we don’t mind what men do to us, and then they disdainfully up the ante because we (sluts, weaklings, doormats, idiots)deserve it, and besides, we don’t mind.

    Nice blaming, susanw.

  139. Jill

    People tend to think that [LDS forced child marriage] just a different way to live rather than the American saudi arabia.

    I know, right? Polygamy is just an eccentric lifestyle. Like on that super-popular “Big Love” show on HBO. Non-polygamists think it’s a little weird, but it’s religion so they, like, have to respect that.

    Religion is really dumb and dangerous.

  140. Frumious B.

    Just with regards to Joe Smith and the original Mormon polygamy – Joe practiced sealing, where the man and woman are religiously sealed to each other, but are not secularly married. That is, they don’t live together, have sex, reproduce, etc. Joe was sealed to dozens of women, some of whom were married to other men. One could certainly argue that multiple sealing is a form of polygyny and also an expression of patriarchy.

    Joe also married more than one woman in the sense that we think of marriage – living together, blah blah. He married fewer women than he was sealed, too. When you talk about Joe and his multiple wives, a distinction between the ones he was sealed to and the ones he fucked allows more accurate and more sophisticated blaming.

    Sealing is still practiced, but I think people stick to sealing themselves to the person(s) who they are also married to.

  141. Helen Huntingdon

    It took me a few years to realize the truth and beauty of your consent scheme. My brain is so swamped with patriarchal poison that I didn’t understand it and it made me defensive as all hell. That frame of mind should be known as the Clarissa stage of feminism.

    I initially thought this was referring to Richardson’s novel Clarissa, and thought it a good name for that state of mind.

  142. Barracuda

    First time posting – I’ve been reading for about a year, and wanted to say that this blog didn’t just change my life, but also saved it. After being raped twice – and then more recently being told by my father that I was not raped, but rather, need to “stop acting like a child and take responsibility for my reckless actions” – I’d lost the will to live in the patriarchy completely. Reading every post of this blog and all its comments has eaten up an absurd amount of time in the last few months – it is one of only a couple stabilizing, reassuring structures, and has on some nights prevented me from taking any kind of drastic action.

    As a 20-year-old drowning in rape culture, this website is not “stimulating and entertaining” but is an actual life raft. Dudebros only understand the things around them as possible entertainment objects for them. The possibility that this website is not a soapbox, but instead a political engagement that offers victims of abuse and battery (by individual men and the system of mens) somewhere to convene is just as unimaginable as system oppression. I mean hey – our lives are just like theirs, filled with the open pursuit of happiness, and feminism is just one of our hobbies, comparable to their use of porn or poker. Everything on the internet is there for men, awaiting their approval. Even the few things explicitly not serving their purpose will be consumed that way. Everything is available for their perusal and enjoyment – even feminism – which is why they have to let us know how they’ve enjoyed us (whistling and male-gazing is no different from liberal dude funfeminist head-patting).

  143. GMM

    Temple sealings are ceremonies to guaratee that you and your spouse will be married in the afterlife.

    And in the afterlife, women still subjected to endless sex and babies for all eternity. Being sealed to other women means you will have a nice harem to populate your planet with spirit children after you die. That’s what the god of this planet did.

    I have some Mormon relatives.

  144. Jill

    Hey Barracuda, glad you’re with us here on the Island.

  145. IrishUp

    Thanks for the detail w/r/t Mormon marriages, GMM.

    “Polygamy” when we really are referring to “polygyny” grates my gorgonzola because it obscures the fact that a true woman to dood equivalent to polygyny is rare as hens teeth. Fraternal polyandry and the fucking-around-because-It’s-God’s-Will that Joseph Smith did just ain’t the same structures as polygynous marriages as currently practiced. And is it coincidence that what polyandry there was has nearly disappeared with post-colonial contact? Or that my spell-check doesn’t recognize polygyny/ous? Oh, I think not.

    (BTW, if any Blamers can point me to good sources regarding marriage in Native American peoples, I’d be most appreciative.)

  146. IrishUp

    Barracuda, I’m so sorry those were your experiences and outraged on your behalf. Sending virtual hugs, margs, or tray of comfy things your way as needed.

  147. GMM

    Irishup, an ex-Mormon friend told me when he was a kid the reason he was given that men had to take multiple wives was because there was a shortage of men in the 1800′s. This is something church leaders tell a lot of Mormons. They try to avoid telling people the actual truth about their own religion, which is common in pretty much every cult/religion.

    You know what is really funny? My Mormon relatives had boy after boy after boy after boy until finally, after 12 boys [1st cousins] between them, one of them had a girl. I thought that was *really* weird, maybe something in the water in Utah? (Think of the Osmond Family, like 6 or 7 boys and until finally little Marie). I just googled male to female ratios and there are actualy 2,111 more males than females in Salt Lake City, and in the state of Utah there it’s 49.7 percent females to a 50.3 percent male population! I know nature is supposed to be random, but maybe it has a wicked sense of humor after all.

  148. Anne

    GMM – “Irishup, an ex-Mormon friend told me when he was a kid the reason he was given that men had to take multiple wives was because there was a shortage of men in the 1800’s.”

    It must have been all those men dying in childbirth, poor things.

  1. Those Horrible Male Chauvinist Pigs « Clarissa's Blog

    [...] A feminist blogger has published a truly offensive letter she got from a male reader. Here it is for your perusal but, please, prepare to be shocked. This male chauvinist is completely out of control in his desire to demean a feminist blogger: While I am a dude, and disagree with a lot of your worldview, I’d like to let you know I really enjoy reading your blog. You’re a very good writer and your posts are entertaining and thought-stimulating. Please keep up the good work — there is a paucity of actual quality content in the blogosphere, and I daresay that you’re propping up the mean. [...]

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