Monthly Archive for August, 2011

Ditwuss Award de la semaine: PETA

By now — since it is my custom to lollygag, dawdle, and often even dilly-dally until steamy breaking news has developed an unappealing crust on top before I set about wrinkling my lip at it — you have already heard of and perhaps even forgotten all about the irritating information that PETA intends to launch a porn site. Reportedly the site will lure porn enthusiasts with XXX naked sex ladies, then sock it to’em with explicit animal torture vids. This will supposedly encourage the ethical treatment of animals by … who, exactly? Dickheads who look at porn?

It’s pretty optimistic to imagine that dickheads who look at porn are capable of appreciating what is meant by “ethical.” So I guess the intended audience for this site is dudes who can’t bear to contemplate saving the whales without jerking off at the same time.

In fact, it has been suggested that the only possible result of the juxtaposition of human and animal exploitation on a porn site is the eroticization of animal torture. To be sure, this contingency is considerably less remote than the screwy idea that pornography, which is itself abuse, can actually stop abuse. Pornography, in fact, is the antithesis of “ethical treatment”. It relies for its existence on violence against women. As such it appeals directly to its consumer’s abusiveness. Fetishized abuse is the whole point of pornography.

On the face of it, the ethical treatment of animals sounds like a cause anyone could get behind. Unfortunately, that ship sailed for PETA long ago. They haul in $30 million a year, but they won’t spend a dime on a no-kill shelter. Crossing over to the Dark Side, they’ve all but abandoned useful discourse in order to mutate into a churlish Offensive Themes Theater troupe that seems to exist only for the sake of its softcore self. Their sexist, racist, anti-Semitic, full frontal shock campaigns — featuring Nazis, KKKlansmen, and of course copious amounts of female celebrity skin — are more juvenile, narcissistic performance art than revolution. PETA, Grande Douchebagge of the animal rights movement, has long been in the human exploitation business; this new .xxx site is merely a formality.

Knobs.

For a longer and more amusing article on the crapulence of PETA, see “Ingrid Newkirk Is The Worst Person In The World,” a January 2010 post by Jenna Sauers at Jezebel.

By the way. Carved in one of the many stones in the ancient city of Obstrepopolis, Savage Death Island, is the slogan “Go vegan, chump!”

_________________
“Ditwuss” = DTWS = “degrades the whole species”

I’ve gotten, like, 17 emails about this and so am filing an Intent to Post

Rest easy, outraged blamer. I have indeed heard of the PETA porn site and will be dashing off the usual bromides and choir-preaches as soon as time permits. In the meantime feel free to compose your own and post it here. Back in a flash (and by “flash” I mean “day or two”).

LecherWatch ‘11

What hotel maid wouldn't wannna get pronged by this sexy grandpa?

Well knock me over with a feather. Leering French fuck Dominique Strauss-Kahn’s gonna walk.

The hotel maid’s lawyer had predicted prosecutors would tell her Monday they were dropping the case. The attorney, Kenneth Thompson, told France’s RTL radio on Sunday that the woman, Nafissatou Diallo, “feels abandoned by the Manhattan District Attorney.” The questions raised about her credibility have made her feel “that she’s being investigated more than Strauss-Kahn,” he said. [AP]

That’s right, ladies. In the United States of America, in 2011, if you’re a woman with a “past,” it’s open season. If some old white perv violently attacks you, your bad reputation simply cancels out his criminal behavior.

Oh, and your looks are totally relevant.

“Nafi” Diallo is not glamorous. Her light-brown skin is pitted with what look like faint acne scars, and her dark hair is hennaed, straightened, and worn flat to her head, but she has a womanly, statuesque figure. When her face is in repose, there is an opaque melancholy to it. [Daily Beast]

In other words, a rich white guy wouldn’t have to rape such an unattractive menial, but he might want to fuck your melancholy, statuesque figure. He was merely using you as the toilet you are, which is perfectly legal and consistent with Global Accords Governing Fair Use of Women (under the Bitches Who Aren’t Virgin Saints Are Just Asking For It clause). So he flits back to France to resume his career as a nationally beloved dashing rake, while you get to spend the rest of your life as the gold-digging liar who cried rape, or simply the “DSK Maid.”

__________________
Photo: AP

Teen addict chic

One blamer recently brought up the idea that fashion models are getting younger and more pornulated with each passing moment, with which idea nobody within barfing distance of a keyboard could argue. Following the tangent, someone else noted the increasing ubiquity of a creepy subgroup who sport the “young abused drugged look.”

A propos of which, an Urban Outfitters catalog recently showed up at Spinster HQ. The catalog is basically blank-faced, doped-up teenagers wearing tight, disheveled, thrift-store-looking outfits in gritty bohemian settings. The photos aren’t in-yer-face shocking or anything, but that’s what’s so creepy about it. The honky pubescent girl, looking sallow, emaciated, forlorn and exploited, is now such a standard figure in contemporary pop culture that nobody bats an eye. Behold some scans, all from the wrinkled August 2011 catalog I pulled out of the trash.


Above: they shackled this poor urchin to the wall with gaffer’s tape. Below: these loopy teens are about to OD.

Above: pallid teen junkie corpse is a variation on the theme. Below: cornered teen is too malnourished to fight back.

Above: stoned 14-year-old wears ratty $80 sweater in a sexy, off-the-shoulder look. Below: another corpse variation: teens passed out on dirty linoleum floor, someone throws pineapples at them.

Above: exploited teen wallows in melted popsicles on dirty linoleum. Below: two more sexy cornered teens.

Skeletal, zoned-out teens in ready-to-wear rags, as a fashion aesthetic, really chaps the hide. Like most stuff that is supposed to be transgressive, it merely plays to a normalized pervy fetish. And it’s disingenuous. Remember when homeless-chic was lampooned by Will Ferrell in “Zoolander” (the inventor of the piano-key tie designs the cutting edge “Derelicte” line)? Culture-appropriating mainstream designers simulate the look of junkie runaways to sell to latter-day Warholian boho scensters and the milk-crate furniture set. But anyone who’s ever been around any real teen drug subculture can tell you it’s about as romantic as a jar full of scabs.

Happy trails, Fugly!

This post will interest few, if any, of you, but nevertheless it is my duty as a patriarchy-blaming gentleman farmer to publicly mourn the passing of my favorite horse blog, Fugly Horse of the Day. Fugly was written by an opinionated muckrakin’ horse chick who, okay, she sometimes made fun of hillbillies and pornulated women, but she actively advocated against patriarchal oppression of equines, so on balance I would say the overall effect was FAIRLY. EPIC. WIN!!!!1!

The horse industry, because the whole enterprise leeches off an enslaved and incarcerated population (the horses) while simultaneously preying upon a self-replenishing customer base of gullible horse-crazy romantics (the owners), is lousy with flim-flam, rip-offs, cruelty, deceit, abuse, ignorance, and murder. A code of silence is enforced among professionals and prominent breed and horse show associations alike, like it’s some kind of equestrian Cosa Nostra, which of course is how the abuse is perpetuated. Cathy of the Fugly blog, using equal parts shaming and humor, tirelessly outed the asshole trainers, the abusive subcultures, the dishonest horse traders, the hopeless hoarders, the con artists, and the irresponsible breeders. This was quite a public service, since speaking out against evil in the horse industry just isn’t done. As a result she endured shit of dudebros-against-radfems proportions: ridicule, lawsuits, death threats, etc.

Horribly, Cathy got too busy to blog and sold Fugly Horse of the Day for a reported $10K. I never knew you could sell a homemade blog for $10K! But I guess because so many horsey folks are fed up with the crapulent status quo, this one had gazillions of avid readers, making it a sort modest cash cow. Nobody knows who bought Fugly; it is suddenly being authored by someone whose identity has yet to be revealed. And who, by way of preparing the reader for the forthcoming onslaught of what she readily admits will be “bad grammar and awkward phrasing,” included this ominous statement in her introductory remarks:

For me blogging is about saying what I think, as I think it, a virtual barfing on the keys.

LE. SIGH. !!!11! .

Spinster aunt can’t shut the fuck up all of a sudden

Radical feminist blog discussions can take some interesting turns, some of the interestingest of which arise from the wacky circumstance of Savage Death Island’s status as — and we don’t want this to be true, but true it is — a patriarchal subculture. We can’t exist outside or independently of the dominant culture — nothing can — so we’re stuck trying to invent a post-patriarchal world order from within patriarchy’s crapulent boundaries. Even as we’re relegated to the crapulent lunatic fringe, we’re enfoisted with the crapulent language of patriarchy, and its crapulent traditions and conventions, and its crapulent art. Every time we complain about some particularly crapulent aspect of all this crapulence, we get resisted, often by feminists themselves, because crappy though it may be, this is the only culture we’ve got. We’ve gotten kind of used to it. We forget, pretty often, to question its authority.

Take the other day, when the discussion turned to the crapulence of horndog author Vladimir Nabokov and his icky novel Lolita. I said something like “this is some crapulent kiddie porn shit, yo.”

Whereupon a reader, obviously experiencing one of those spontaneous liberal-dude fugue states that overtake us all from time to time, and careful not to “pick a side of the argument,” commented

But there is a greater issue at stake here: that of censorship.

You probably remember, couple of days ago, hearing the unmistakable roar of a lobe revving up to about 7800 SPM.* That was my lobe.

What follows is more or less how I responded to the idea that some tiresome dude-novel should be exempt from feminist critique on accounta censorship-is-bad. I had to add some stuff, of course, to prevent this post from being dangerously shortwinded.

1. There is (I said) no greater issue at stake than the liberation of women from patriarchal oppression.

The liberation of women from patriarchal oppression is more important than a man’s right to 24-hour access to poontang. It’s more important than a woman’s right to the performance of sexy empowering femininity. It’s more important than a scholarly analysis of a canonical work. It’s more important than censorship.

Censorship has meant this and that and the other thing over the years. The government won’t let you burn flags. The authorities herd you and your “Who Would Jesus Bomb?” protest sign into a “free speech” zone when Dubya shows up at a rally. The secret police throw you in prison for writing stuff unflattering stuff about your totalitarian government. Your library uses content-control software. The TV network bleeps out your (or Gordon Ramsay’s) F-bombs. The self-censoring Internet feminist uses the word F-bomb instead of the word fuck for no reason.

In the context of Internet feminist discourse, however, censorship seems to be something only feminist dissidents do, probably because we hate freedom! Censorship means “the practice of feminists voicing dissenting opinions on the Global Accords Governing Fair Use of Women.”

According to this interpretation, we Nazi feminists, with our intolerable idea that the fetishization of women’s oppression violates all women, are to be harassed, shouted down, and condemned by the liberal dudes found swinging from every rafter of the Internet, in an effort to suppress our dissent. Why? Apparently because saying “Lolita sucks” is tantamount to demanding a book-burning. Of a beloved, transgressive monument to lyric dudeliness.

Ironically, dudely suppression of feminist dissent is itself censorship, the very -ship that these free speech-lovin’ dudes purport to be against. Censorship is apparently bad only when it threatens to undermine DudeNation’s death-grip on its own sceptre of passion.

2. It is not censorship to advance feminist critiques of dudeliocentric art-porn.

In order to perform actual censorship, a censor must first occupy a position of authority over the censoree, and must be able to command minions sufficient for enforcement. The dudes and dudesses of DudeNation, for example, censor radical feminists all the time. Have you ever seen a radical feminist sitcom, fashion spread, toilet cleaner commercial, or New York Times bestseller?

It’s no secret that this very blog gets hit with DDoS attacks all the flippin’ time. Censorship!

Conversely, radical feminists, dangling by gnarled claws from our remote precipice out in Lunatic Fringe, are in no position to censor anything. We’re not in power. We have no authority. We enjoy little privilege. We command no minions. Even if we wanted to, which we don’t, we couldn’t prevent even one celebrated genius from writing child rape fantasies and calling it art.

About all we can do is advance feminist critiques and submit feminist analyses, both here on the Internet, and through the awesome power of those super-effective patriarchy-busting “THIS DEGRADES WOMEN” stickers hastily applied to American Apparel ads in bus stops. We can argue that the publication and artification of Lolita-esque child rape fantasies contributes to the fetishization of women’s oppression and is therefore antifeminist and inimical to all women generally.

We can also suggest remedies. Such as “if you make pornography you’re a misogynist rape apologist douche, so cut it the fuck out, you dumb fuck.” And also, “if you consume pornography you’re a misogynist rape apologist douche, so cut it the fuck out, you dumb fuck.” In fact, pretty much, “whenever you are anything but wildly enthusiastic about the repeal of male privilege, you’re a dumb fuck doing something you should be cutting the fuck out.”

3. The revolution will render all graphic representations of rape obsolete by smashing the domination/submission paradigm.

Once domination/submission bites the dust as the primary model upon which all human relationships are based, 99.9% of the beloved literary canon will start to look dated, corny, and bigoted, because it was all written in support of, from the point of view of, and under the auspices of patriarchal oppression. By bigots.

In other words, since oppression will cease to be fetishized by the enlightened survivors of the revolution, pornography will cease to exist, all on its own. The demand will evaporate. No censorship required! Just add common sense and simple human compassion!

4. The degree to which the idea of a world in which Shakespeare, Joyce and Nabokov are considered quaint relics of a barbaric age makes one uneasy, it is precisely to that degree that one is imbued with, invested in, and brainwashed by patriarchal mores.

Go ahead. Defend The Taming of the Shrew as a feminist bildungsroman all you want. You know you’re just pulling a bunch of English major bullshit outta your status quo-lovin’ ass.

To recap:
Is Lolita art? Sure, why not? It’s misogynist, barbaric art that degrades the whole species. Awesome.

Should Lolita be banned? Nah. Banning it, or any other pornographic “work,” would be like trying to treat 2,567,438 purulent boils with a single drop of Boil-Away.** Banning stuff never works. It just creates shadowy, subterranean subcultures who get off on the bannedness of their precious banned thing.

In any event, banning Lolita would do nothing to eradicate the underlying humanitarian crisis of which it is a symptom. Instead, I suggest a feminist response to pornography that advocates — persistently, and with salty language, ridicule, satire, and shaming — the eradication of any social order predicated on the existence and oppression of a sex class.

___________________
* SPM = Spinspulsations Per Minute

** By Ronco

Spinster aunt pleads for justice

It’s no secret that this is a happy-go-lucky blog run by a carefree, complaisant Internet feminist. This Internet feminist has bigger fish to fry and is not concerned in the slightest with the style of expression used by the mellow folks who leave comments. Oh, she might make a small suggestion or two, here and there, regarding spelling, punctuation, capitalization, the navel-gazing properties of certain personal pronouns, syntax, length of comment, emoticons, whether descriptions of certain intimate acts are appropriate, and general grammar, yes, but in the grand context of patriarchy blaming these are but minutiae [note: when in doubt, consult the GFC]. Although strict compliance is — without putting too fine a point on it — more or less required, it serves the greater good and, more to the point, prevents my obstreperal lobe from blowing.

It is in the spirit of blown lobe prevention that we make yet another desperate appeal for the immediate cessation of the use of the phrase “teh menz!” in submissions to the comments section. Reading those words has, upon the delicate aunt, an effect similar to that precipitated by such painful expressions as “it is what it is,” “hot enough for ya?” and “EPIC FAIL.”

Spinster aunt proposes Elk theory

You know how entire threads here at I Blame the Patriarchy regularly come and go without anyone invoking Nazis of any kind? Well, I’m going to advance a radical theory that is mine. The theory, which belongs to me, is that Godwin’s Law doesn’t seem to obtain all that often on this here blog anymore because the number of dude commenters is kept to a number at or below 3. That is my theory that is mine, it belongs to me, and I own it and what it is too. My theory that I have about why this theory can only belong to me is that this is the only site on the entire dudernet where there are less than 3 dudes.

Spinster aunt casts jaundiced eye at scepter of passion

When Kubrick was making the film “Lolita” he was crabbed out that the prudey production code wouldn’t allow him to enfilthen 13-year-old actress Sue Lyon with all the dude-pleasin “eroticism” in Nabokov’s icky novel. He intimated that the godbag-enforced lack of explicit child porn is what caused the film’s initial lukewarm reception and prevented it from soaring on wings of dudely prurience to the pinnacle of cinematic greatness for which Kubrick yearned. Naturally, because — thanks, Internet! — modern audiences know exactly what to fill in the blanks with, the film eventually became the iconic classic of noble ephebophilia we know and love today!

That’s right, I said ephebophilia. You know how when a practice becomes widespread and established, one of the first things its aficionados do is codify it and quantify it and describe it and assign its variations to categories and invent endless sub-categories for the more subtle variations that increasingly are meaningful only to the experts? Like with wine. Most people can just have a glass of wine, but oenophiles are deeply sensitive to nuancy variables, like the varietal, the region, the chemical composition of the vineyard’s dirt, the amount of rainfall during the spring of its production year, the color, which of 12,687 potential aromas it expresses, and, of course, the vintage.

It’s the same thing with raping children. Because raping children is such an established and widespread practice, PsychiatryNation has devised handy categories describing the various spins its practitioners can put on their “sexual preference”.

When a preference is based on a specific child vintage, it is called a chronophilia. One such chronophilia is crowd favorite pedophilia — raping prepubescent children. Then there’s hebephilia, which is a preference for raping pubescents. Ephebophilia describes a preference for raping post-pubescents. Girls must be 14-16, but for boys it’s 14-19. Spinster HQ concludes that this age disparity obtains because after 16, girls age out into common slutdom (the default state for all women). Once they’re sluts, the desire to screw them is no longer considered a special psychiatric disorder, but rather a normal dudely activity consistent with the Global Accords Governing Fair Use of Women (see Britney Spears, Miley Cyrus, and one of humanity’s finest hours: when the entire dudernet participated in that pervy countdown to the Olsen twins’ 18th birthday).

To explain male preoccupation with teen rape, I found this guy on the Internet. He is Frederick S. Berlin, M.D.,PhD, Associate Professor, Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at the Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine; Founder of the Sexual Disorders Clinic at the Johns Hopkins Hospital; Director of the National Institute for the Study, Prevention and Treatment of Sexual Trauma; Chairman of the Board of Directors of the Foundation for the Study, Prevention and Treatment of Sexual Trauma; and Consultant to the National Conference of Catholic Bishops’ Ad Hoc Committee on Sexual Abuse. This eminent upholder of dudelionormativity notes that ephebophilia is the default dudelionormative state.

“Most men can find adolescents attractive sexually, although, of course, that doesn’t mean they’re going to act on it. Some men who become involved with teenagers may not have a particular disorder. Opportunity and other factors may have contributed to their behaving in the way they do.”

Opportunity and other factors? Opportunity, such as when adolescent girls are permitted out in public? Other factors? Such as that fucking Lolita narrative, which has seeped into patriarchal consciousness, been transformed into internet porn and Thylane Blondeau’s fashion spreads, and tells everyone that female children are sexual cyphers just waiting for men to use them as toilets?

Nabokov apologists, do your worst, but this novel isn’t some kind of veiled anti-perv cautionary tale about what can happen when a dude thinks with his dick, or the consequences of acting on desire. Nabokov was totally a perv or he couldn’t have written this huge and convincing paean to pervy desire. He would have made Lolita a person rather than a voiceless toilet, and he would have skipped the gratuitous erotica. The novel is merely an attempt to make art out of kiddie porn. The hero is himself a child molester and murderer who kidnaps, drugs, imprisons, and serially rapes a 12 year old child for chrissake, and then writes a dreamy, poetical memoir about it. Check this shit out (but do it on an empty stomach):

“Her legs, her lovely live legs, were not too close together, and when my hand located what it sought, a dreamy and eerie expression, half pleasure, half-pain, came over those childish features. She sat a little higher than I, and whenever in her solitary ecstasy she was led to kiss me her head would bend with a sleepy, soft, drooping movement that was almost woeful, and her bare knees caught and compressed my wrist, and slackened again; and her quivering mouth, distorted by the acridity of some mysterious potion, with a sibilant intake of breath came near to my face. She would try to relieve the pain of love by first roughly rubbing her dry lips against mine; then my darling would draw away with a nervous toss of her hair, and then again come darkly near and let me feed on her open mouth, while with a generosity that was ready to offer her everything, my heart, my throat, my entrails, I gave her to hold in her awkward fist the scepter of my passion.”

The scepter of his passion? Gag-a-mag, it makes your boob scars shrivel.

Even though Humbert Humbert may be tormented and an unreliable narrator, and even if Nabokov was himself a paragon who completely pulled this Humbert character and his criminal obsession with “nymphets” from thin air (hah!), Lolita is just an articulate excuse to dudelionormatize the same infatuation with female children that our sexpert Dr Berlin, above, asserts is common to most men.

Is it art? Sure, why not? But it stinks.

Kurrent Events Korner

Spinster aunts throughout the galaxy are amazed by Illinois Senate Bill 1037. Unlike most senate bills, Illinois Senate Bill 1037 appears to contain little, if any, overt misogyny. In fact, it allows victims of sex trafficking to expunge the criminal records they acquired through being forced into prostitution.

“Victims of human trafficking are often forced into prostitution and other crimes against their own will, and too many of them are being prosecuted as criminals,” Rep. Yarbrough said. “When we have evidence that involuntary human trafficking was the cause of the crime, even though the victim may not have had the ability or representation to prove it during trial, we must do the right thing and reverse their conviction so they can move on with repairing their lives.” [cite]

What tha? This sounds almost reasonable. I must have woken up in a utopian alternate universe where little bones of compassion are occasionally thrown to the oppressed.

Wait, nope, scratch that. No utopia here. The fashion industry, for example, still exists, as I see from the 1537 emails I’ve gotten about young Thylane Blondeau, the pornulated 10-year-old French model whose sexy Vogue photo spreads are flippin icky.

Her mother must be a terrible person! is the refrain.

Well, perhaps Maman has neglected, like everyone else on the fucking planet, to engage in a little critical thinking concerning the nature of pornography and its role in women’s oppression, but she is not the main asshole here. The main asshole is the global pornsick appetite for the sexification of female persons. If there wasn’t an insatiable audience for preteen sexbots, there wouldn’t be any preteen sexbots.

It’s true that Ms Blondeau cannot actually give meaningful consent allowing the commodification of her body, and that this is outrageous. However, it’s not outrageous merely because she’s only 10 years old. Her mother can’t give meaningful consent, either. In a patriarchy, meaningful consent is not an option for any member of the sex class. Sex is a commodity, and women are sex, so Ms Blondeau’s commodification is entirely consistent is the Global Accords Governing Fair Use of Women. Even if her parents weren’t pimping her out, she’d still be fucked.

Why?

She’s a girl in a patriarchy.

After feminist revolt, consent will not be an issue, because there will be no commodification in the first place.

Which is a big part of why dudes hate feminists. Holy shit, we want to take away their porn!