By now — since it is my custom to lollygag, dawdle, and often even dilly-dally until steamy breaking news has developed an unappealing crust on top before I set about wrinkling my lip at it — you have already heard of and perhaps even forgotten all about the irritating information that PETA intends to launch a porn site. Reportedly the site will lure porn enthusiasts with XXX naked sex ladies, then sock it to’em with explicit animal torture vids. This will supposedly encourage the ethical treatment of animals by … who, exactly? Dickheads who look at porn?
It’s pretty optimistic to imagine that dickheads who look at porn are capable of appreciating what is meant by “ethical.” So I guess the intended audience for this site is dudes who can’t bear to contemplate saving the whales without jerking off at the same time.
In fact, it has been suggested that the only possible result of the juxtaposition of human and animal exploitation on a porn site is the eroticization of animal torture. To be sure, this contingency is considerably less remote than the screwy idea that pornography, which is itself abuse, can actually stop abuse. Pornography, in fact, is the antithesis of “ethical treatment”. It relies for its existence on violence against women. As such it appeals directly to its consumer’s abusiveness. Fetishized abuse is the whole point of pornography.
On the face of it, the ethical treatment of animals sounds like a cause anyone could get behind. Unfortunately, that ship sailed for PETA long ago. They haul in $30 million a year, but they won’t spend a dime on a no-kill shelter. Crossing over to the Dark Side, they’ve all but abandoned useful discourse in order to mutate into a churlish Offensive Themes Theater troupe that seems to exist only for the sake of its softcore self. Their sexist, racist, anti-Semitic, full frontal shock campaigns — featuring Nazis, KKKlansmen, and of course copious amounts of female celebrity skin — are more juvenile, narcissistic performance art than revolution. PETA, Grande Douchebagge of the animal rights movement, has long been in the human exploitation business; this new .xxx site is merely a formality.
For a longer and more amusing article on the crapulence of PETA, see “Ingrid Newkirk Is The Worst Person In The World,” a January 2010 post by Jenna Sauers at Jezebel.
By the way. Carved in one of the many stones in the ancient city of Obstrepopolis, Savage Death Island, is the slogan “Go vegan, chump!”
“Ditwuss” = DTWS = “degrades the whole species”