Monthly Archive: October 2011

Oct 23 2011

Spinster aunt was once adored by Dude Nation

The author as fashion model, c. 1985

A blamer mentioned yesterday that there’s a new post somewhere arguing that I’m a “bimbo-hating radical who undermines feminism by trying to take women’s sexiness away.” Just one? I was shocked. I have not read this post, and, with regret, I must deny myself the pleasure of doing so. When I tell you that my …

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Oct 20 2011

Spinster aunt has a cow

Franny, Spinster HQ’s yella lab, started barking her face off the way she usually does whenever there is a 2500 pound mammal on the porch, and sure enough. When I sidled over to the front door, there was no denying it: there was definitely a black Angus cow studying the doorknob. Let it be known …

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Oct 15 2011

Storytime Korner

Well, a couple weeks ago Stingray and I were prancing up S. Congress Ave after having anointed ourselves with hipster fumes at Jo’s, when this wacked out hipster kid comes careening toward us, chanting nonsense. His bearing was somewhat aggressive, so we said “nyah!” back at him. He gave us the once-over with a stinkeye …

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Oct 14 2011

New study shows makeup is not optional

Well I hope you’re sitting down, because a cosmetics conglomerate has commissioned a study demonstrating that makeup makes people respect women who wear it. Ha, I was joking about sitting down, because as you know there is nothing more predictable than a cosmetics conglomerate trying to prove with number 1 science information that their useless, …

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Oct 07 2011

Food channel

I offer you a love pod from my home world. Foto by Stingray.

Oct 06 2011

Steve Jobs? Damn.

Fig. 7. The author snaps iPhone self-portrait in a truck stop can. Italy, Texas, 2008. I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that without Steve Jobs I would not have achieved my brilliant success as either a spinster aunt, an Internet feminist, a text messagist, or a public restroom documentarist. I am curiously maudlin …

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Oct 04 2011

Kanteensploitation

Klean Kanteens make pretty girls smile, despite prune-hands from latex gloves. From Klean Kanteen website.

Central Texan spinster aunts on the go are apt to become desiccated if they don’t tote around cold, life-giving liquids at all times. For this reason I once possessed a thing called Klean Kanteen, an insulated steel vacuum bottle in which I stashed my iced coffee and filtered organic free range rainwater. Wheresoever I went, …

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Oct 01 2011

“Law and Order: Mutilated Women Unit” ep cleverly appeals to multiple niche fetishes at once

A murdered teen isn’t lurid enough; better make her a prostitute with HIV.

Oct 01 2011

Whoops

Haley just wanted to be popular. What went wrong?

Forgot I had a blog. Sorry about that. But here’s a sweet little movie you won’t want to miss. Girl Fight airs on Lifetime this Monday. “Inspired” by a “true story” about mean girls who beat up one of their own and post it on YouTube for internet fame and revenge, it’s super on-trend. Although …

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