Dec 26 2011

Thus spake Debbie Downer

Though the life of a spinster aunt is mostly fluffy and carefree, there are certain unpleasant situations wherein the Auntly Directive explicitly calls for taking the wind out of people’s sails.

Sail de-winding has gotten a bad rap, as it has been embraced as bloodsport over the years by various do-gooders and buttinskis. Remember “tough love”?

“I hate to take the wind out of your sails, Son, but your Marilyn Manson marijuana lifestyle frightens your mother, so we’re having you arrested.”

Sail de-winding has also been wielded for the greater good — though to little avail — by dudely scientists and professional skeptics:

“I hate to take the wind out of your sails, my godly friend, but there is no scientific evidence whatsoever to support the hypothesis that when you die your disembodied consciousness will float up to the clouds to be reunited with your loved ones. Also, you’re stupid.”

It has been complained about in various Nick Lowe songs, too.

But let’s be clear: it’s spinster aunts who invented the practice of foisting truth on overstimulated people who don’t want to hear it.

That’s right. Our specialized lobes can detect a self-destructive folly at 200 yards. When our peeps’ sails have wind in them, and we perceive that this wind is perhaps a bit gusty for this time of year, and that it is composed not of wholesome breezes but of farts and sordid delusion, we cannot hold our tongue.

I recall the time my pal Solange Pettigrew called to cut me in on an exciting business proposition. This frabjous business, she effluviated in breathless tones, was going to liberate her from the daily grind and transport her to a world of more or less incessant travel to exotic lands. It could do the same for me. She explained that all I had to do was buy my own personalized ‘travel website’ from her, whereupon hordes of internet travelers would flock to it and I would make a fortune. In her mind’s eye she had already purchased a steamer trunk full of hula skirts and was getting her groove back with a hunky cabana boy. I had never seen her so happy. Clearly I needed to step in.

So I protruded the spinster proboscis and immediately detected in her sails the whiff of a wind most foul. But how? This woman has a master’s degree in common sense from Stanford, for chrissake. She couldn’t be that obliv–

Oh, but she was. Solange Pettigrew had in fact gone grossly agog. So forthwith onto my auntly shoulders fell the stinky task of informing the poor sap that this travel website deal was no gilded Jetway out of meaningless corporate drudgery, but was actually a Ponzi scheme.

Did I want to be the one who brought her life’s young dream crashing down like the housing market upon her dewy brow? Certainly not. I’d rather have been given a root canal by a sweaty dentist. But according to the Spinster Code, failure to place these person-to-person calls on the clue phone is not an option. Sail de-winding is the only ethical course.

Which brings me to my chum Sukey, who is an inveterate bargain hunter. One of her endearing qualities is that when she finds a hot deal, she cannot rest until she has alerted her entire acquaintance to the bonanza. I often get this call from Sukey:

“Get down to $aver$ immediately! Wahoo is only 99 cents a pound!”

Let us all feast like kings on wahoo, right? Wrong. I’m the one who says, “Wahoo for 99 cents? Where’d it come from, the dumpster behind Whole Foods?”

While driving around yesterday Sukey stumbled across some women on the side of the road selling “1200-thread-count Egyptian cotton king sheet sets” out of a beat-up Econoline van for 20 bucks a hit. Sukey bought a set on the spot and galloped home at breakneck speed to call everyone up. She couldn’t bear for her friends to spend another hellish night needlessly tossing and turning on nasty burlap from Bed Bath and Beyond when we could be nestled in luxury coziness from the banks of the river Nile.

“Wait a second,” I said, my wind-in-sails detector heating up. “1200 thread-count Egyptian cotton king sheet sets for 20 bucks? Yeah, and I’m Herman Cain’s baby mama.”

I hated to do it, but my hands, I tell you, were tied.

“Sukey,” I said, “read the label. Read it, and weep.”

Whereupon it was discovered that the sheets had been made in China by indentured wage slaves. Furthermore they were not cotton of Egyptian or any other origin, but microfiber, and most likely weren’t 1200 threads per inch, either.

Sukey wept.

Hey, I’m just doing my job.

It’s like when I happen to run into the occasional woman who thinks Bust is a feminist magazine. Or maybe she believes that femininity is “natural,” or that “radiant skin” is desirable. Look at her sails! Her bloomy, billowing sails, bloated with hot wind! What can I do? If I don’t take that wind outta them things she might go around the rest of her life arguing that burlesque is an empowering form of feminine self-expression.

So I cram down her neck the truth that our patriarchal social order, despite what she’s been told since the cradle, doesn’t really have her best interests at heart. I explain that she is defined in this social order solely with respect to male interests, and that she is a member of an oppressed sex class out of which she may not opt, and that her success in life is entirely a matter of the degree to which she appeases her oppressor.

She protests. She demurs. She vituperates. She calls me a sex-hating harridan prude.

And then her lobe starts to pulsate. The mascara falls from her eyes. She grasps that, yes, patriarchy is founded on oppression and suffering, that Ponzi schemes and thread-count cons are logical consequences in a world order that is itself the Mother of All Scams, and most horribly of all, that she is both complicit and a dupe in the whole set-up.

Her life is ruined, and she has me to thank for it.*

Trust no one.

* Note: this business about her lobe beginning to pulsate and me ruining her life, it’s all a fantasy. In real life nobody ever believes me.

Debbie Downer photo nicked from Wikipedia.


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  1. gwyllion

    Lovely, this:

    So I cram down her neck the truth that our patriarchal social order, despite what she’s been told since the cradle, doesn’t really have her best interests at heart. I explain that she is defined in this social order solely with respect to male interests, and that she is a member of an oppressed sex class out of which she may not opt, and that her success in life is entirely a matter of the degree to which she appeases her oppressor.

    yup – it’s just about exactly like that

  2. Hattie

    Oh you do speak the truth to us benighted ones. Let us live well by way of revenge.

  3. gwyllion

    and thanks for the Nick Lowe too – great way to start the day!
    Was living in Wales at that very time!

  4. Twisty

    Catchiest tune ever.

  5. BadKitty

    Alas, I have also been called to burst bubbles, defile dreams and blast friends with icy cold reality. All too often, I am required to poke holes in their carefully spun web of obliviousness and denial. It’s brutal, thankless work but someone has to do it before they are led too far astray and get sucked further into the vortex of the patriarchy. We all need someone to call bullshit on our lives. Thank you, oh great spinster aunt, for performing this vital service.

  6. Gail Green

    Thanks, Twisty, your post is true and as ended by your footnote, good for a full minute of belly laughter: “* Note: this business about her lobe beginning to pulsate and me ruining her life, it’s all a fantasy. In real life nobody ever believes me.”

    In sharing the power of freedom in our real lives, we all have occasions to model laughter as a form of belief in female power. Right now, Thanks Be to the Supreme Reindeer, there are no longer any Xmas songs (He, Him, hymn or Santa Baby) loudly piped in where I visit for wifi and breakfast coffee on holidays. In the relative quiet, the folks (strangers, female and male) around me noticed my laughing very loudly when I read your note. They smiled and wanted in on the joke. Cryptically I said only, “Wise women, and funny, too.”

    One of the females got a knowing look in her eye and smiled more widely before wiping a jam smudge off her small daughter’s face. The others turned away. Their loss.

  7. Bonbon

    I’m very appreciating this blog. Thank you, Twisty.

  8. Bonbon

    Very MUCH, I mean. Damn this keyboard…

  9. Comrade PhysioProf

    Awesome tuneage (and hairstyles)!!

  10. Denise

    * I believe you (and my life isn’t ruined).

  11. Orange

    Jill, they never believed Chicken Little either UNTIL IT WAS TOO LATE.

    The world needs stalwart brigades of Snopesian debunkers, sail-dewinders, and optical-wool-removers. People are so gullible, so credulous, in so many areas. I find fewer opportunities to Debbie-Downify on the patriarchy front, but I do enjoy squashing the joy on Facebook when suddenly everybody’s breathlessly posting the same faked/outdated picture/video/quote without a hint of skepticism. The smarter they are, the deeper their shame at having put their critical thinking skills in the junk drawer.

  12. Becky

    >>>It’s like when I happen to run into the occasional woman who thinks Bust is a feminist magazine.

    It is a feminist magazine, explicitly so. Maybe it’s not *your* particular brand of feminism, but that doesn’t make it unfeminist.

    Sorry to take the wind out of your “I’m smarter than everyone else” sails.

  13. tinfoil hattie

    You’ve ruined my life, and I’m glad.

    I can’t change the destructive, sick, abusive family I came from, but the family I’ve created is a far cry from my family of origin. I give lots of credit to you, Twisty. You helped me realize I’m not actually crazy. You and my fellow readers & commenters.

    Thank you, one and all!

  14. Twisty

    “[BUST] is a feminist magazine, explicitly so.”

    Really? It’s feminist now? It must have done a 180 since I last read it. As I recall, that issue was pretty chock full of beauty tips and fashion advice.

  15. Orange

    A dear friend of mine is a Bust contributor. I bought a recent issue at Whole Foods and was disappointed by the “three of our interns try out beauty products” feature. It would have been better if any of those product reviews had been anything but positive. Three different rave reviews of the same product doesn’t convince me that “it’s just the thing for me”; it makes me think “the advertisers are paying for happy talk.” One of the products was a mascara, and the intern who said she never wears mascara still said nice things about it.

    The Roseanne advice column ain’t bad, though.

  16. Kea

    What a treat for the depressing return to the summer madhouse down here! One must never fail to apply the Spinster Code. Fortunately I no longer move in the Egyptian cotton-hunting crowd, and am content to correct the occasional passing Yam (young Australian male, in Kiwi mountain-speak) on local weather forecasts, ice conditions or the intracacies of quantum logic. Unfortunately, nothing at all can be done about the blocked supermarket aisles, when the town’s population goes up tenfold overnight, as it does this time every year. The Spinster Code does not extend to lecturing strangers on the frivolity of debating for ten minutes, while blocking the entire meat section, whether or not Mum would like the venison or pork sausages.

  17. Jezebella

    Then of course there are the days – like today – during which two nominally feminist women, two long time friends of mine, told this particular Debbie Downer that I enjoyed conflict, was too judgmental, too radical, too angry to be happy, and hated feminine AND masculine women because I opined that an end to gender constructs would make for happier more whole people. Also there’s no point in even desiring an end to patriarchy because something just as offensive will take its place. AND THEN, ye gods, *I* was declared a pessimist and a nihilist.

    Oh, also, I’m an asshole for not being judgmental *enough* about poor young women who have “too many babies,” and asking how one might go about *stopping* poor young women from having an inappropriate quantity of children without, you know, forced sterilization and a return to eugenics.

    It was not a good day to be Debbie Downer, Spinster Aunt and Radical Feminist.

  18. piratequeen

    The doing of some action by a self-identified feminist does not mean that action necessarily becomes a feminist act… c.f. pole-dancing, wearing makeup. IBTP for any confusion on this point.

  19. piratequeen

    :: sad trombone noise ::

  20. Oaktown Girl

    What gwyllion said in the very first comment. She beat me to it.

    Jezebella: my head damn near exploded simply reading that. Kudos to you for surviving it in person.

  21. Saurs

    Sorry to take the wind out of your “I’m smarter than everyone else” sails.

    I need to get me a pair of those. Sails come in twos, right?

  22. buttercupia

    Jezebella, I had a similar experience several years ago when my mother, who explicitly raised me as a feminist, engaged in slut-shaming. Then she and my most-favored aunt moved on to victim blaming in the case of our local rapist sports hero. (she was asking for it) I had to go get some air. The holiday season brings out the best in us all.

  23. Sarah

    >>>It’s like when I happen to run into the occasional woman who thinks Bust is a feminist magazine.

    It is a feminist magazine, explicitly so. Maybe it’s not *your* particular brand of feminism, but that doesn’t make it unfeminist.

    Sorry to take the wind out of your “I’m smarter than everyone else” sails.

    Just because a publication calls itself “feminist” doesn’t make it so. That’s a little bit like the Orlando Sentinel and the St. Petersburg Times, both of which were putting “The Best Newspaper in Florida” in their mastheads the last time I looked at them (which was, admittedly, many years ago). Emblazoning the slogan above their headlines every day doesn’t make it true.

    Sorry to take the wind out of your “I’m smarter than everyone else” sails.

  24. Darla

    I don’t know if the internet counts as “in real life,” but I believed you, as well (“as well” in response to Denise saying the same thing). My life is only moderately ruined.

    …back to lurking.

  25. Lovepug

    But you do put starch in our feminist sails.

  26. buttercup

    After all, Faux News calls itself a news channel.

  27. Ginjoint

    Jezebella, OUCH. I’m sorry that happened to you.

    Also: I like to think of my sails as cracking sharply in a brisk wind. Fully starched, of course, as Lovepug brought up.

  28. Keri

    Well ya learn something new every day. Due to my mainstream media cleanse I was not aware of Bust magazine. The comments here resulted in the googling of that shit.

    “Bust-ing” stereotypes my azz. I saw some great banner ads while perusing. One was for progressive sex toys and one for high heels. Although, anyone who can operate both those at the same time, while snacking on some Chef Girl-ar-dee feminist spaghetti (pictured on the site), admittedly has skills. Great blogs to peruse there too like “My Body My Hells” and “OMG Shoes!”. So much internet, so little time.

  29. Speedbudget

    buttercup, that comment is precious.

    I love taking the wind out of sanctimonious non feminist sails. It is a sport for me now, and I have Jill to thank for my trophies.

  30. nails

    Beautifully written.

  31. tinfoil hattie

    I kind of like vibrators. But I don’t consider them feminist.

  32. Embee


    I met you during a time when my sails were slack, and so you didn’t ruin that day. You did ruin THIS day when I was forced to admit my complicity to myself this morning. This happened even before I read this post.

    Thank you.

  33. EmilyBites

    Twisty, you’ve completely ruined my life. Props.

  34. Bushfire

    You’ve ruined my life too, but I keep coming back for more!
    I can’t do anything anymore without blaming the patriarchy for something or other.

  35. tinfoil hattie

    Wait! A MAN on TV just said, “Any kind of rape is never sexual gratification. It’s a punishment of women. That’s what it’s about.”

    Who ruined his life?

  36. Antoinette Niebieszczanski

    “Of farts and sordid delusion” — Title of an 18th century novel I had to read for school?

  37. Antoinette Niebieszczanski

    Also, being told “You ruin everything!” secretly gives me a happy.

  38. allhellsloose

    Oh yes Bust magazine: “BUSTing stereotypes since 1995”. In the book ‘The Bust Guide to the New Girl Order’ they wrote: ‘We don’t have a problem with pornography unless, of course, it doesn’t turn us on.’ Quite the feminists! Not.

    I had to take the wind from my friend’s voluminous sails when she said she’d have to have sex with the much older (male) friend who gave her a generous sum of money. I could see the ‘you ruin everything’ written all over her face when I told her that was prostitution.

    It secretly gives me a happy too!

  39. yttik

    Tinfoil, if we truly wanted to ruin that TV man’s life, we would point out that the line between rape and sexual gratification has been so blurred they are now one and the same. Somewhere between presenting violent porn as sexual stimulus and deciding that the word for sex with women was going to be the same word we used for screwing over our enemies, we merged the two.

  40. tinfoil hattie

    Ramen, yttik.

    Of course, he went further and explained that a murder victim’s death was ultra-puzzling because she didn’t do drugs, didn’t drink, and didn’t cause any trouble.

  41. c2t2

    I sincerely thank Jill for ruining my life. The world makes sense now.

  42. Fannie Farmer (Mrs.)

    “Bright-Sided: How Positive Thinking is Undermining America”, by Barbara Ehrenreich

    Kirkus Reviews says: “Ehrenreich delivers a trenchant look into the burgeoning business of positive thinking. A bout with breast cancer puts the author face to face with this new breed of frenetic positive thinking promoted by everyone from scientists to gurus and activists. Chided for her anger and distress by doctors and fellow cancer patients and survivors, Ehrenreich explores the insistence upon optimism as a cultural and national trait, discovering its “symbiotic relationship with American capitalism” and how poverty, obesity, unemployment and relationship problems are being marketed as obstacles that can be overcome with the right (read: positive) mindset. Building on Max Weber’s insights into the relationship between Calvinism and capitalism, Ehrenreich sees the dark roots of positive thinking emerging from 19th-century religious movements. Mary Baker Eddy, William James and Norman Vincent Peale paved the path for today’s secular $9.6 billion self-improvement industry and positive psychology institutes. The author concludes by suggesting that the bungled invasion of Iraq and current economic mess may be intricately tied to this “reckless” national penchant for self-delusion and a lack of anxious vigilance, necessary to societal survival.”

  43. Jezebella

    Dog bless Barbara Ehrenreich. I loathe the “power of positive thinking” people who read “The Secret” (or whatever its latest incarnation is) and think people who have it rough are at fault for not being fecking *cheerful* enough.

    Navel-gazing as a lifestyle is not helpful or productive. Or, in the words of Mad-Eye Moody: “CONSTANT VIGILANCE!”

  44. Antoinette Niebieszczanski

    When a pal of mine gets going on the “thoughts become things” happytalk bushwah, I am compelled to tell her that that shit only works if you have money.

  45. Keri

    Positive thinking such as the “Secret” doesn’t seem to work at all if your kid has cancer, you are a woman in the middle East, or if you live in Darfur. I have been accused of being a Debbie Downer for pointing this out. The folly of the rich and lucky indeed.

    Very entertaining to watch “Abraham” being channeled on youtube though, letting people know the power of their own thoughts in making their dreams come true. Hilarious. Oh the silly shit people believe in.

  46. tinfoil hattie

    Yeah, well, have you ever heard of Braco the Gazer?

    Google him. Check out the policy about women past their first trimester of pregnancy not being allowed to attend his “Gazing Events,” too.

  47. Keri

    tinfoil hattie:
    I knew not of Braco the Gazer but his website was good for a major belly laugh. I thank you.

  48. bitch with opinions

    Can “has your life been ruined yet?” be the Blamer Secret Handshake/quasi-religious call to arms when we meet in public? Along the lines of “are you a friend of Dorothy?” from the bad old days of obligatory closets for gay people?

  49. Sylvie

    No need to worry if you’re pregnant and shouldn’t attend in person because “For your children and for other people who are not able to attend a session, it is recommended that you bring a photo of that person to a session instead. The power of Braco’s gaze can equally reach people through photos, and the same level of healing and transformation occur through this method.”

    That’s some power you’ve got there Braco.

  50. Anne

    tinfoil hattie
    December 27, 2011 at 2:08 pm

    “I kind of like vibrators. But I don’t consider them feminist.”

    Maybe if you look at them from a certain angle. They were only legalized in several states in 2008, and are still prohibited in Alabama without a doctor’s note, so you know they’re a threat to the P.

  51. Keri

    tinfoil hattie and Silvie:

    I see your Braco and I raise you a Baba Dez. Google and relish in the transformation that could await you.

  52. Twisty

    Braco appears to spend quite a lot of time gazing in Hawaii. Hats off to that dude. The con has an awesome simplicity. Man, I can’t believe I didn’t think of it first.

  53. Lovepug

    We leave a sacred Margarita at your alter.

    All Hail Twisty Faster!

    I read The Secret. And that’s about all I’ve got to say about it.

    For more fun with cults, check out http://www.rickross.com. Amazing just how many Bracos there are in the world not to mention a supply of those who follow.

  54. Owly

    Yep, my dad recently told me “if you can think negative thoughts, you can think happy thoughts” and that people are sad because they choose to be. In what world, exactly? Sign me the fuck up.

  55. buttercup

    It was the beginning of the end of a rather long-term friendship when said friend told me she was paying actual money to go to a seminar about the secret. After the seminar, she felt it was a bit of a letdown, but she was terrified to think so as it would negate all the “work” she had done driving negativity from her life.

    We weren’t really very compatible.

  56. tinfoil hattie

    Yes, twisty – the con is brilliant. From his website:

    “Braco does not speak in public or offer any philosophies … ”

    “People come from all backgrounds, faiths and ethnicities to see Braco and many call him a healer, yet Braco does not make this claim. He only offers a gift to people through his silent gaze, without words or teachings … ”

    He charges eight bucks (US) for each “session.” Each session lasts 30 minutes, and Braco stares out at the crowd for ten minutes of each session. Swooning volunteers manage the large gatherings (sometimes thousands of people!), so his payroll expenses are minimal.

    It’s an awesome scam.

    I hate and despise Howard Stern with the white-hot passion of 10,000 blazing suns, but I laughd ’til I cried at his takedown of Braco (available on Youtube if you can bear listening to Stern). It’s the only time I ever laughed at anything Howard Stern said.

  57. Sylvie

    Hi Keri

    You win – but only because Baba Dez says I’m an “engine of manifestation” and you know what, he’s bloody right.

  58. tinfoil hattie

    Okay, Stern is only funny for about a min. on the youtube video. But very funny.

    Also, Baba Dez! Holy toledo:

    “On the Spiritual/Sexual Shamanic path, everything in life becomes a meditation and a prayer.”

    He’s even shirtless, presumably to expand your prayerful experience.

  59. tinfoil hattie

    “I will plunge my ‘engine of manifestation deep into your Divine Inner Knowing.”

    He’s also sex-positive! Yay!

  60. Sylvie

    After careful consideration of Braco and Baba I’m beginning to think they’re one and the same and neither are as much fun as, wait for it, Angelic Reiki, brought to you by the Archangel Metratron no less (who also wins the prize for best angel name).


  61. Keri

    Archangel Metratron is a way better name than Esther and Jerry Hicks’ “Abraham” and his law of attraction. Lame easy Bible rip-off in comparison. Baba Dez has a whole different set of attraction laws if you know what I mean. Bowm chickity bowm bowm. That may be one of the grossest dudes of all time.

    I showed Braco to my girlfriend yesterday because she does have beautiful piercing eyes and I have to tell her to quit tantric gazing me all the time because it freaks me out. I told her that those eyes could be the ticket to millions. She want to combine Braco and Baba and just stare at people’s “parts” to heal them, with their permission of course. She made my tummy hurt from laughing.

  62. yttik

    “I will plunge my ‘engine of manifestation deep into your Divine Inner Knowing.”

    I’m rolling on the floor laughing here. Dude, try it and I’ll plunge the manifestation of my knee into your divine groin.

  63. tinfoil hattie

    New Age woo: Hours of fun for the whole family.

  64. tinfoil hattie

    Angelic Reiki:

    At this time in the history of the Earth, the vibration in which the earth exists has changed. All existence is based on vibration. There is at this time on the Earth the raising of the vibration of the Earth and this is allowing the higher vibration in which the Angelic Kingdom exists to now anchor upon the Earth.


    (Okay, I’ll stop)

  65. K.A.

    I ended an old friendship ages ago because, not only did she lack any inkling of a feminist point of view, she was a blithering idiot who proudly embodied misogynist twittery more than anyone I’ve ever known. (She wore it like a badge, and it made you wanna say, “Oh, my, no. This is a contest wherein the winner is the biggest loser. Why didn’t you get the memo?”)

    And her favorite magazine, as per her Facebook “likes” section? Bust magazine, duh.

  66. Kea


    LOL, yeah. Sadly, the vibrations talk is based on 19th and 20th century physics, when everything was a mechanical wave, even in quantum mechanics. To give them credit, they are no worse than most physicists these days, who still only talk about vibrations, because they are too stupid to imagine anything else. It is the nonsensical conflict between the indoctrinated, materialist mechanical view and unvocalised anti-realist optimism that bites. Ouch. If only they really understood quantum geology …

  67. niki

    The BUST writers created some home economics project book that looked pretty interesting and perhaps fun until I picked it up and saw that there were double entendre chapters titled ‘Blowjobs!’, and so forth. Tee hee! I give up.

  68. josquin

    Although Jill’s accurate depiction of the inescapable swamp of Patriarchy has indeed sorta ruined my life, this still made me laugh:

    “Dude, try it and I’ll plunge the manifestation of my knee into your divine groin.”


  69. Michele Braa-Heidner

    Ah this thread brings to mind the beautiful wind in your sails saying: “The truth shall set you free.” Except in this case, the truth shall more likely make you pee–like a racehorse!

    It also brings to mind the lyrics to the wonderful song written by the legendary Bob Dylan:

    “The answer my friend is blowing in the wind” Except in this case, the answer is more likely blowing out my a-hole.

    Trust no one.

  70. Freepippa

    A magazine that has this http://daddyos.com/retro/retroldy.html advertised on the front page of it’s website is not feminist.

  71. Lurker Lyn

    My life isn’t ruined enough. But I haven’t read Dworkin yet, so I have some catching up to do.

  72. Sistertongue

    KEA and all:
    The physics vibrations thing. It’s actually now all about “foam” that’s right “foam.” I hope I am not breaking protocol here, but I wrote a piece on my blog called “The Physics of Oz,” back in 2010 or so which exactly talks about the inanity of current dude-illusional “objective, scientific theory.”

  73. JR

    “Our specialized lobes can detect a self-destructive folly at 200 yards.”

    A young friend of my acquaintance has just made a “defiant” announcement on her personal blog to the tune of about 2000 words long. The synopsis is that: she is a “bad” feminist because she has Chosen [sic] to stay at home and “nurture” her spouse the way she’s always dreamed instead of continuing her post-college job search (which has lasted several months) because it was just too stressful. It is all worded in such a way as to provoke me to say something, as I’ve tried to tell her before this would be a mistake. I’m ignoring it because she won’t listen to any of the good advice I could give on not putting all of her eggs in one basket (which I’ve given her before) – in fact, she prides herself on “rebelling” against everything I say.
    The end is so predictable if it were a movie I would walk out and begrudge the money I spent on it. I have met exactly two couples in my entire life who started a relationship that young and had it last, and both of them were extremely religious, so they didn’t believe in divorce. I feel like I can repeat until I am blue in the face “it isn’t that feminists hate stay at home moms and wives – it is that it is an extremely dangerous gamble for yourself and your children.”
    But no. Not their Nigel. He will never leave them.

  74. Randie

    By long time feminist Canadian anti-violence euducator Valerie Smith D She has a sectio on Howard Stern’s horrible hatred of women on his radio show.

    Stern’s vile attitude towards women is illustrated by some of the web sites he used to identify during his show on Q107 in Canada.Valerie says thyat two of these one a bestiality site and another featuring the violent sexual abuse of runaway teenage girls were the subject of a complaint filed with the Toronto Police Service and the CRTC in March 1998.

  75. Randie

    Sorry, I just realized I made a few typing mistakes,but also I wanted it to be known and clear that the above link by Valerie Smith is from a long great Fall of 2010 article,An Introduction To Misogyny In Popular Culture. She addresses hatred of women in popular TV shows,mainstream movies, Howard Stern’s show,slasher films,rap and heavy metal music,video games,and pornography.

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