Jan 29 2012

Savage Death Spring

Some mental floss relating to blaming on Facebook:

1. Over the weekend members of the “I blame the patriarchy” Facebook group were kind enough to humor me by dismantling their group and remantling under the new moniker “We Blame the Patriarchy” (all of this mantling was made necessary by the inability to perform a simple name change on the FB platform). I requested this change to avoid confusion, since I kind of use the “I Blame the Patriarchy”/ Odd Lady avatar combo as my personal professional internet feminist online identity.

To join We Blame the Patriarchy, you have to have a Facebook identity. Then you just go to the group page and request to join. One of the several thousand admins will welcome you with open arms. I am told that this is a “closed” group, which if I understand correctly means that whatever you post there will not also show up all over the rest of Facebook.

Would that I could be more involved with this worthy group of blamers, but as you have undoubtedly perceived, I barely manage to post here once in a blue moon, and, as I’ll get to in a minute, I’ve got another little project on. Even so, I’ll look in whenever I can. I’ll be looking forward with particular interest to the results of their delightfully anarchic “everybody’s an admin” experiment.

2. All the above-mentioned activity reminded me that I am in charge of 2 other (abandoned) Facebook projects: the “official” I Blame the Patriarchy page, and the Twisty Faster entity.

In the beginning there was to be just the one patriarchy-blaming page, but FB wouldn’t let me do this without also signing up as a human. Not being particularly adept at this social media crap, I haven’t quite worked out how to streamline my process, but as it stands, anyone may post on the IBTP page, making a sort of perpetual open thread, and whatever I post will appear both there and on the Twisty Wall. And possibly on Twitter. I think. Who the hell knows, really.

Twisty-on-Facebook is a Savage Death Island No. 1 Science experiment. I mostly cast a jaundiced eye at the whole set-up, since being made into a product nauseates me, and the idea that Facebook is essentially a giant spy network nauseates me even more, and I am still further nauseated by the fact that everybody knows it’s a giant spy network yet they use the thing anyway.

Still, though I suspect it is pretty unlikely, it is possible that the pros might outweigh the cons. You know, the Arab Spring and a that. So the goal is to foment a Savage Death Spring in protest of global misogynist human rights violations. To that end I’ll be friending blamers left and right, and posting over there quasi-frequently for a while, while I collect the data and, in my spare time, ignite feminist revolt. I invite everyone who can bear Facebook to join me in friending Twisty and “liking” I Blame the Patriarchy.

Meanwhile, I look forward to hearing about the evils of Facebook in the comments.


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  1. buttercupia

    Yay! Science!

  2. AlienNumber

    Will you accept my FB friend request already? j/k

    The only downside to FB, besides that little detail related to privacy and lack thereof, is that it’s a major Time Suck. Other than that, it’s purely a giant pleasure machine.

  3. ytiik

    I hate facebook, but a We Blame the Patriarchy is really needed.

    I’ve toyed with the idea of creating some kind of feminism 101 page that I can send girls to who insist on emailing me things such as “click like if you’re proud to be a cunt” or “he’s the hottest pimp evah!” It’s just heartbreaking.

  4. Twisty

    “girls who insist on emailing me things such as “click like if you’re proud to be a cunt” or “he’s the hottest pimp evah!””


  5. Shelly

    To be fair, there are only six admins. The other group had 500+ members, so if this one gets to be even half that size, the extra hands will be helpful. I’m just too much of a slacker to want ALL the responsibility for managing a group.

  6. Hari

    Yee Haaaa! “So the goal is to foment a Savage Death Spring in protest of global misogynist human rights violations. ” Count me in, I just love some fomenting of revolutions and such.

    Over there, I’ll be known as Jai Kalidasi (my fb identity).

  7. Twisty

    “To be fair, there are only six admins.”

    Ha! Fair enough. I read a post at the old group page that led me to believe that everyone was an admin; sorry if I got it wrong. When somebody made me an admin, I figured it was true.

  8. Shelly

    I don’t know how many admins there were in the old group. A lot, and they kept adding them up until the end. I think they were hoping one of us would be able to fix the name mess.

    If you’d rather not be an admin at the new group, you can un-admin yourself. I, for one, would be delighted if you stuck around though.

  9. Circe

    I am captivated by your blog. I’m a Women’s Studies major, caught in the current throes of my master’s thesis, and reading your blog both calms and energizes me (and cracks me up!). I’m currently, sigh, mired in Texas (for this, I blame the patriarchy), and I kind of like thinking of you blogging from somewhere in this ridiculously toxic Lone Star State.

  10. ytiik


    Seriously, a big part of social networking includes the pop culture that now glamorizes prostitution, romanticizes ghettos, and refers to women as sexual body parts. There’s also lots of racial stereotypes and porn language as small talk.

    I bet if we did a survey, we’d find that more girls would prefer to call themselves a “ho” rather than a feminist. Feminists have hairy legs, cooties, and they hate men. Hos get all the glam. That’s why it’s so wonderful when we find a 20 something feminist. It’s like, damn girl, how did you manage to escape? It’s a jungle out there.

  11. polarcontrol

    Hope all blamers are aware of the Diaspora project (basically, user controlled, so not a spy network, facebook+twitter type of tool): http://diasporaproject.org/

    It is currently in its alpha stage, so when I joined I only found two friends. Waiting for brighter days!

    (I’m not on FB, but following Twisty on Twitter.)

  12. hayduke

    “When somebody made me an admin, I figured it was true.”

    It’s pretty much just adding people and editing the group description at present, but I figured if anybody ought to be given the option to give folks the boot, it was you. I sorta quit following the earlier page due to the repeated troll infestations. I’m hoping that with this being a closed group, and having a limited number of (women) admins, quality can be maintained.

    Well, to the extent possible on FB. The “click LIKE! if you’re proud to be (insert derogatory term)!” posts are legion. And oh, the “Breast Cancer Awareness” campaigns. Ew.

  13. Kea

    Dammit, must now modify the notification settings. The Facebook account management style should be illegal.

  14. Shelly

    Yeah, there are some men there. I’m ambivalent about that. One of the admins has written a very good “Y’all are on probation so don’t be mansplaining asstrumpets or you’ll be banned” post. I’m hoping she’ll add it to the group description, and I personally do intend to remove any men who make me cranky. I have to put up with enough of those in real life.

  15. Comrade PhysioProf

    Fucke facebooke. Why any grown adult would allow this corporation free access to the deepest most intimate details of her life, and to sell that access to other corporations, is beyond me.

  16. Nolabelfits

    Amen Comrade. The other thing I hate is the whole “I don’t care about revealing my most intimate details because I have nothing to hide” attitude people seem to have. Because saying that implies that if you don’t want to reveal the most intimate details of your life to 300 plus “friend” you somehow DO have something to hide. I’m personally hoping the whole fad dies out somehow. Perhaps the next generation will eschew it to revolt against their parents. One can only hope.

  17. Jezebella


    Good news! Someone has already made a Feminism 101 blog, so you don’t have to:


    I send that link to people all the damn time.

  18. lizor

    “I bet if we did a survey, we’d find that more girls would prefer to call themselves a “ho” rather than a feminist”.

    I think those surveys have already been done to some extent. I heard a piece on Canadian radio about six months ago that said young women are not even comfortable with the word “woman” to describe themselves. “Bitch” and “Ho” are A-OK, though.

  19. lizor

    The most important function of FB for me is the “block” option. You can block anyone, friend or not, so they can’t see anything you do or are tagged in and you never have to be reminded of their existence while navigating. I still find the whole space pretty creepy.

  20. IBlameRonPaul

    he other thing I hate is the whole “I don’t care about revealing my most intimate details because I have nothing to hide” attitude people seem to have. Because saying that implies that if you don’t want to reveal the most intimate details of your life to 300 plus “friend” you somehow DO have something to hide.


    I’m seeing more and more people in their 30s and even 40s toss out this little snark, and I can’t for the life of me figure out what it’s supposed to establish. “I’m more comfortable with myself than you are, and that’s why I ‘tell all’ on Facebook and Twitter”? “You’re a prude and I’m chill”?

    Anyway, I gave Facebook a shot and grew bored with it after 4 months for a couple reasons:

    1. The number of men my age mansplaining to me constantly why I need to vote for Ron Paul just pissed me right off (hence my handle was born).

    2. I got tired of wading through comments people threw up there every time they ate lunch, lit a fart, typed an e-mail or whatever.

    3. I spoke to people even less than I did without Facebook, since they counted that as “friendship.”

    YMMV, but for me, it just doesn’t work. Also, I have to be very, very airtight about revealing my name, occupation, photo, residence, or whatever online because it could screw me over in my profession, and I have a couple of stalkers – including a former male roommate who possesses a severe entitlement complex about women and has a violent streak, and the guy who raped me when I was 21 – and I’d rather just not be found.

  21. IBlameRonPaul

    Oh, and about that rapist: He once cornered me in a bar and announced proudly that, thanks to Google, he knew where I lived, where I worked, who my friends were, who my partner was, and what I was up to. I Googled myself and didn’t understand how he could have discerned that. I’m sure it was just meant to scare me. But since then I’ve been stalked by creepy old men I used to work with, a couple ex boyfriends from my pre-coming out of the closet days, and of course, the creepo roommate, and I’d just as soon not exist in the social media sphere.

    That said I applaud the WBTP Facebook and I’m thinking perhaps I’ll create a dummy account to pay you a visit.

  22. quixote

    Seconding an attempt at a Diaspora experiment. I won’t touch FB with a bargepole. Their treatment of users as commodities for sale is beyond nauseating.

    To the idiots who say they don’t need privacy because they have nothing to hide: Murder should be decriminalized because nobody in their life wants to kill them. That makes about as much sense.

    There’s a difference between rights to privacy or to life or to free speech and, say, groceries, which you can skip for a week if you don’t happen to need any food just then.

  23. minervaK

    I can without reservation recommend quitting BookFace entirely, cold turkey. There is nothing going on there that enhances your life. Trust me.

  24. Nolabelfits

    Lately I have been receiving email from facebook notifiying me of people’s status updates and such. Some of these people I don’t even know. How the hell am I getting these emails if I don’t even have a facebook account? Any of you blamers know what’s up with that?

  25. quixote

    By the way, you want to freak yourself out by seeing how easy it is to find out your address, phone number, age, workplace, family members, absolutely everything, go check out pipl.com. It’s so depressing that the only way I deal with it is by not thinking about it.

    If we had an actual government instead of just a corporate enforcement arm, we’d have some actual rights about control over our own data. Right now, there’s not a bleeding thing you can do. (Or if there is, I don’t know about it. Although I would love to.)

  26. quixote

    Nolabelfits: are you sure those messages aren’t just spam that’s trying to get you to click on some link in the email? If you look at the “message source” you can usually see where the links actually go.

  27. Bushfire

    I don’t use my real last name on FB, but I use my real first name.

    Yttik, I’ve had women say fucked-up patriarchy-compliant shit on my Facebook, and I delete them immediately. Maybe it’s snobby, but I just don’t need any more of that in my life than I have to have.

  28. Phledge

    Eh, I use FB to promulgate the radfem agenda to people I know, and to see how my family is doing 500 miles away. I have my security settings maxed out and I don’t accept any ‘offers’ that require me to release any of my information, like games and quizzes and shit like that, so I feel appropriately deluded. No hard feelings to people that don’t.

  29. Kea

    pipl.com doesn’t find anything private on me, and that’s with (i) a unique name and (ii) a large google profile. So long as one avoids all dodgy marketing links, one can still manage all right, even using FB.

  30. Hari

    FB is the devil, as a personal/social networking site. I have a page under a fake name only for purposes of linking with some fb community groups. My family doesn’t even know I have it, and I don’t do ‘friend requests’. I tell my friends/fam–if you want to talk to me, then stop over, pick up the phone or send me a private email! I find the minute to minute updates of people’s lives, the dramas and the utter lack of privacy just mindboggling (people w/fb tell me all about it). That said, I do like the info/links and brief commentary on the community groups amusing enough.

  31. quixote

    Kea, you’re in New Zealand, right? It’s got the most info on US inhabitants. Elsewhere, they sometimes have some actual laws limiting the scope.

  32. Rebecca

    We Blame the Patriarchy admins, I’m confused! I requested to join your FB group earlier, and was accepted, and “liked” a couple of things. But now I’m not a member anymore. I just re-requested but wanted to bring it to your attention–seems like a glitch of some kind that if widespread is just gonna make more work for all y’all.

  33. LS

    I haven’t used FB for a very long time now and I don’t miss it, although recently I tried to download the tagged pictures of me to no avail… Google is changing their privacy settings so that all your Google accounts and searches are tracked together or something… It’s really creepy. The changes go into effect March 1st. I plan to use one browser for Gmail only and another not logged-in browser for everything else…

  34. Kea

    Yes, that’s a good point, quixote. But I do make an effort to avoid marketing links, and my settings on FB are strict.

  35. lawbitch

    In my state, name and addresses are publicly available from property records. I filled out a special form to keep the info off the internet. You may consider searching for your address to see you if it is online with your name. There are also commercial websites that will provide this information if you pay. No one can keep a low profile anymore and it sucks.

  36. polarcontrol

    “For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve the quality of life, please press three.” – Alice Kahn.

  37. Wandering Uterus

    “That’s why it’s so wonderful when we find a 20 something feminist. It’s like, damn girl, how did you manage to escape? It’s a jungle out there.”

    Once the P had ruined my life through obsessive stalking behavior and various types of abuse, I found out about radical feminism. I finally felt less alone, but with the bitter knowledge that the only real cure is a complete cultural revolution.

    So radical feminism obviously didn’t ruin my life, it just explained why it had been ruined in the first place.

    And the stalking whittled my desire to participate in Facebook down to zero.

  38. speedbudget

    I was going to say that Google+ is a good alternative to Facebook and I would love to find out if any Blamers are over there, but it sounds like Google is about to give up the ghost and go the way of Facebook as far as privacy.

    But, hey. I’ll say it anyway. Is anybody here on Google+? I would love to put you in my circles.

  39. procrastinatrix

    Hi, All. Even if We Blame the Patriarchy is a closed group, FB still owns everything posted in the group and will sell it without a second thought to anyone buying.

    Personal anecdote/opinion warning. I’m still on FB despite knowing it is evil and considers users just products to be sold, however, every time I use a bank or credit card someone somewhere is gathering information about me to sell to someone. I’m neither organized nor rich enough to go to a 100% cash-based life, so I’m feeling pretty helpless in that regard. So, might as well keep up with (real world) friends and family who live hundreds or thousands of miles away on FB.

    Hooray for Savage Death Spring! I’ve been an IBTP lurker on FB, but will now like and friend as requested!

  40. Shelly

    I am personally less worried about FB mining my info from groups than I am about family and friends following my every freaking move. Seriously, no sooner had I commented on something Twisty posted to the official IBTP page than one of my friends followed me via the ticker and commented. I just get sick of being tailgated sometimes and wanted a place that was closed off from the rest of FB.

    So that was my rationale in making the new group private, for whatever it’s worth.

  41. qvaken

    Over the past couple of months I’ve been using Facebook to share entries from this blog, as well as other feminist blog entries, and especially those about rape and consent. The dudes don’t approve. Yesterday a rape apologist reared his ugly head, so I told him that I would blame him if he committed rape, so naturally he was mortally offended and told me that I was raping him with my words.
    I just can’t even imagine that sense of being violated that a dude must feel when he’s told that he’s not allowed to violate somebody…

  42. Lurker Lyn

    Shelly, I’m on board about the tailgating. The last thing I need is my mum looking in then trying to explain to me how I’m overreacting.

  43. Hippolyta

    I just deactivated my FB account. I feel clean.

  44. cin17

    I’m stuck with FB. (My daughter uses it to share pictures of the wild monkey children.) But being stuck with FB will be so much more enjoyable now that there’s a Savage Death Spring in the mix.

  45. Chawki

    The same has happened to me! Some dude, since he stole my phone number off of a friend’s phone, looked up the number and paid an online background check service to find out where I lived, my moms cell phone number, and a lot of other personal information. Then he came righy on over to my house and told me aaaall about it! He thought I would be impressed / scared enough to finally accept his romantic invitations.

    The Internet can be horrifying when in the wrong hands.

  46. DepecheNode


    That asshole may have just been trying to creep you out, but you should dig a little deeper to see how much of your life is really viewable via a simple Google search. He may not have just searching your name, but he could have found out a lot about you by searching for any the following:

    Your full name or your name with your middle initial.
    Your name plus the state or city you live in
    Your name plus your parents’ names or any other close relative

    Shit, your full name plus any fact that any regular person could find out about you within five minutes, your job, where you went to school, things like that, could bring up something. You’d be surprised…and possibly terrified.

    And for the record, I know this because I do a lot of online research for one of my jobs, not because I’m an online stalker! I swear!

  47. veganrampage

    Fuck fucking The Facebook corporate lying SON of MEN who keep your personal info forever and ever and ever. Lie when you sign up, about everything, especially your gender and DOB.

    Also PHUCK that PHAKE PHILM about rape in the military. The Invisible War by noted mansplaining sapien asswipe Kirby DICK.

    And I quote ( from the LA Times):

    “It’s also the soul-destroying nature of the aftermath uncovered by Dick and his producer, Amy Ziering, an aftermath the director says “can be even more traumatic for men — they really bury this.”

    You see? Rape is even more traumatic for men!I’m pounding the keyboard so hard I am breaking it. Though the majority of rape survivors in the military and the universe are women when it happens to a man then it’s a national/universal tragedy.

    You can to phucking phacebook and “like” this movie where he is heavily promoting it. I shan’t be joining you.

    I think I may have actually split my gut.

  48. Bugwalk

    I cannot bear FB–it was just too much to have people I knew from elementary school through college come flooding back all at once, plus to have all the disparate parts of my current life suddenly all mashed together, plus I felt empty in not a good way every time I departed FB–but I think it’s smart for Twisty/IBTP to have a FB/Twitter presence, pardon the term. I do like you, just not on FB.


  49. stacey

    Off-topic, but I gotta:

    Sh*t White Feminists Say


  50. damequixote

    @Veganrampage Yes, and in addition to the loss of masculine pride those poor men may have to bear their rapists children. I don’t know how men manage to live in this world. Of their own creation. Bless their hearts.

  51. Bushfire

    @ Stacey, I watched the video, and those are mostly things I would say.

  52. stacey

    @Bushfire – I know! that’s what makes it adorable. They’re not making fun of white feminists, they’re being ironically unironic. Er. I mean.

  1. A few lite thoughts on rape and prostitution « I Blame The Patriarchy

    […] announcing the Facebook experiment I’ve done practically nothing but approve friend requests and wince my way through a bunch of […]

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