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May 08 2012

High five

Work gloves

Wait, I have a blog?

Let’s see, what’s happened since my last post? The underwater dogs, “Call Me Maybe,” and a psycho homophobic preacher.

Plus ça change plus c’est la même chose.

There, we’re all caught up.

33 comments

1 ping

  1. quixote

    “There, we’re all caught up.”

    First I thought, “haha.” Then I thought, “I need a good long Twisty post”. And finally I came to the realization that what’s really sad is it’s the literal truth.

  2. Laura

    It is always lovely to hear from you, even if you are not expounding. Having never met you and having said so very little in return, I still have the “any further communiques are appreciated” feeling one gets from old friends.

  3. stickypaws

    For the love of Maude, Jill – Come back!

  4. Friend of Snakes

    LOVED the Jepsen video. So I’m thinking, crap, this being a patriarchy blaming blog and all, I’m supposed to see something horrible and demeaning about what’s being portrayed. Okay, I don’t listen to that sort of bubble gummy music, and I’m probably 40 years older than those kids, But darn it, I think they’re both cute as can be (aside from the tats on the guy. Inked skin makes my skin crawl. Sorry) and, look, SHE’S the one fronting her own band. What’s not to like here?

    I can’t believe I hung around all the way to the end. That sort of pop is like sugar overload. Truth be told, I hung on because I was waiting to see what the hell Twisty thought was so all fired awful about this piece of fluff.

    Zing!

  5. awhirlinlondon

    REIN in. Please, my eyeballs. Although “lesbians reigning” is certainly rather cool.

    Welcome back.

  6. hayduke

    Yes, you have a blog! Yes, we’ve missed you!

    I shoulda checked out the preacher story first, then the dog pics as a chaser. Because fuck that guy. I did first hear about it a while back, but still. Blood boiling. What a delightful combination of misogyny, homophobia, and child-hating neatly wrapped up all in one package. I have the sudden desire to sign my son up for dance lessons – but where do they teach the butt-dance?

  7. TotallyDorkin

    @Friend of Snakes

    Did you get far enough to the end to notice that the HOT!MAN!(child) turns out to be gay? I missed it the first time around.

  8. Twisty

    Well, Friend of Snakes, I downloaded “Call Me Maybe” on accounta it’s pure pop pleasure and even dried out old aunts have a pop facet that cannot be smushed, but a Savage Death Island critique would note the tune’s inane and predictable femininity and P2K-compliance. Also, it’s vaguely unnerving that Carly Rae Jepsen is a 26-year-old adult woman; I calculate that she’s pop-songing at about an 8th-grade level.

  9. Shelby

    I’m convinced that Call Me Maybe song is a subliminal tool of the debil or the illuminati or the gubment. Once heard it’s a real task to get it out of your head.

    It’s wunderbar that you have returned Twisty.

  10. Notorious Ph.D.

    Yep. That’s pretty much everything that happened.

  11. Someone Else

    I am very relieved you are back! I was starting to fret, which was distracting me and making my patriarchy-blaming less effective.

    I shall now blame with renewed vigor. Allons-y!

  12. qvaken

    No, you can’t do this to me. I hear these pop songs numerous times a day at work, but being that I’ve managed to convince myself that this is “their” (my colleagues’) music, I’ve successfully tuned it out and learned very little about it. It’s gotten to the point that a pop song will have finished its third repetition for the day just ten seconds earlier, a co-worker will try to strike up a conversation with me about it, and I won’t have a clue what they’re referring to. But after all that successful resistance: an IBTP recommendation? You’re going to get terrible pop music into my head!

  13. someonered

    Glad to see a post from you. Did you read Ashley Judd’s critique of the widespread obsession with women’s appearance? Hope so, it was quite good I thought.

  14. Friend of Snakes

    @TotallyDorkin
    Oh yeah yeah. The gay twist at the end was what I liked most about it. Scheisse, I must really be expressing myself poorly.

    Somebody mentioned Ashley Judd again. I had a huge crush on her once upon a time. So I’ve made a point of following her current TV series, Missing, wherein she’s an ex-spy who’s kind of back in the biz and traipsing all over gorgeous European locations. It’s mostly ludicrous stuff, but, by golly, I’m gonna watch every damn episode. And like it if it kills me.

    Speaking of European, there are some rather good TV dramas with strong and complex female characters coming out of Britain, Denmark and Sweden. Anyone seen Scott & Bailey, the original (Danish) version of The Killing, Bron/Broen (The Bridge) or Borgen? I got rid of my TV a year and a half ago and now I’m watching more TV shows than ever in my life. I try to kid myself that it’s QUALITY teevee, don’t you know?

    Twisty, please photograph and write about your resident hognose snakes. They are both badass and adorable in the same package. Your toads have little to fear. Well, not in the grand scheme of amphibian reproductive fecundity providing abundant food for cute reptiles, etc. etc.

  15. Copperfield

    @Friends of Snakes
    You have literally just described my only TV watching habits for the last year. I missed the first series of S&B, but I finally sat up and took notice when someone suggested that it passed the Bechdell test, and then some. Who knew ITV had it in’em?

  16. Mildred

    I’m just really glad to hear you’re okay! I was genuinely worried about you, Twisty!

  17. Shannon

    For guiltless pop I prefer K-Pop. As long as it’s by a group of men that is. When it’s a girl group it looks like a competition to see who can be the very picture of sexual compliance. When it’s a bunch of dudes, well it’s a bunch of somewhat young people dancing, and each gets their own mini-story via dance. Which is fun.
    And I don’t know what they’re saying so the lyrics couldn’t possibly make me feel sick! I wish Western bands would take a leaf from their book and not objectify women in every damned clip.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=roughtzsCDI < hypnotic.

    They also wear as much make-up and go through as many ridiculous costume changes as the average Western female singer. It isn't perfect but I'll take it!

  18. Antoinette Niebieszczanski

    Fluffernutter pop such as this oughtta be guiltless. The little twist at the end is cute.

  19. Elizabeth

    I can understand an initial knee-jerk reaction to a sudden realization that one’s child may be “different”.

    When my 13 year old boy was two months old, his leg suddenly started to tremor. The thought that shot through my brain was “Oh no a seizure!” and I grabbed his leg to make it stop (even knowing that seizures don’t stop just by making physical contact). The tremor stopped right away, so I knew it wasn’t a seizure and I was relieved. But then I did more research and discovered what he had was cerebral palsy.

    If I could make his cerebral palsy go away, I would. If he turns out to be gay, I wouldn’t want him to change. I love him so much and am thankful for the honor of being his mother.

    Education helps some people accept that their child is different. I can’t understand or speak for those who refuse to accept their children or recognize and appreciate their innate uniquenesses.

  20. Fictional Queen

    Cool!
    First, this blog helped me choose English literature as my major.
    Now, it’s gonna motivate me to stop procrastinating studying French.
    I miss you so much, Jill! I feel like something’s lacking from my life without this blog!!

  21. someonered

    I should have known I’d missed the discussion about Ashley Judd’s comments. Sorry.

  22. Twisty

    I should have known I’d missed the discussion about Ashley Judd’s comments. Sorry.

    I missed it too (I’ve been away).

    I am heartwarmed that some of you noticed I was gone.

  23. buttercup

    Noticed? Hell, I was pining.

  24. Frumious B.

    Waiting for the next public can of Austin pic.

  25. lucida

    Hm… per the music video… that’s some cute reversal-of-expectation comedy at the end, but possibly there’s some critique to be made there about the “too good to be true? MUST be gay!” trope. Isn’t that adage that all the “good ones” are taken or gay just an excuse to hold our Nigels to lower standards?

  26. josquin

    Welcome back Twisty! We missed you very much.
    1. The dog photos are so weird, doggy, bizarre and hilarious – thank you for the link!
    2. I don’t care if that Call Me Maybe song’s sole purpose was to topple the Patriarchy – it is a CRAP piece of music and is therefore toxic. I actually like good pop music, and I can tell you that people will be listening to the BeeGees and Janelle Monnae for many many more years than this awful crap.

  27. Comradde PhysioProffe

    Those gloves are freaking me the fucke out.

  28. Friend of Snakes

    Re the gloves:

    My thought on a backstory is that these are those wonderfully soft, but/and costly ones made of deerskin. They smell great, so much so that you make up excuses to maybe brush the hair out of your face just to catch a whiff. They feel great when you wipe the sweat off your brow with the back of your gloved hand. Sure they’re work gloves, but you find that you make sure you never don them when you face chores which might truly dampen or permanently dirty their glorious surface. Then one day you leave them by the side of the pool with the donkey shit in it, and some overactive dog or idiot human kicks them in and they’re soaked through before you can retrieve them. Well, of course you’re going to begin the drying process by hanging them upside down on a paper towel holder or anything close at hand. If you’re Twisty, you’re gonna think, “hey, this is a subject for a photographic study. And there you are.

    I’ve got a similar pair I bought years ago just for catching snakes, since they (the herps) don’t seem to comprehend that you’re gonna put them right back where you found them after a bit, and so are ofttimes inclined to deploy some of their many teeth in defense. To this day, I can’t bear to befoul those gloves with real work. They’re even softer than the day I got them. Then, I never got them all wet and stuff like Twisty did hers.

    The end. I promise.

  29. Twisty

    OK, those gloves? They are disgusting. They are deerskin, and they were getting really gross because the muck buckets I hoist with them daily are always filthy no matter how often I hose’em out, and also I not only blot my sweaty face with’em, I perform all manner of other unspeakable chores that no sane person would contemplate while bare-handed. Relocating dead mice, playing ball with the yella lab, scraping out smeg from between horse udders, etc. Many moons ago I became dismayed by the sordidness of my gloves. Then one day they accidentally went through the laundry, forgotten in the pocket of a jacket. When they came out they smelled somewhat less repulsive than before. I didn’t know you could wash leather gloves, but I’ve been laundering mine ever since, drying them overnight on empty spray sunscreen cans. The stitching eventually blows out, but everyone knows what to get me for all the gifty occasions — Father’s Day, Arbor Day, etc — SSG Ranchers, size 7.

  30. lizor

    @ josquin

    Janelle Monnae rules. Did you see the video of her on Letterman?? (won’t link because he is a tool but it’s on Youtube). She owns the room and the song is the finest addictive pop. Only downside is P. diddy or Puff duddy or whoever he is coming out for a bow at the end like he invented her.

  31. Citizen Jane

    I am thrilled to say that for the first time in my entire life, I have seen a music video that objectifies a male body instead of a female one.

  32. josquin

    Lizor,

    I will look for the video! Thanks for the lead. And I’ll do my best to screen out Pudd Dudely.

  33. Bonnie

    1. The biopsy showed no breast cancer. 6-month follow-up ultrasound Monday. Whee.

    2. Deerskin gloves – swoon.

    3. What is it with dipshits these days?

  1. Death and guitars | geektivist

    [...] To quote Twisty Faster “wait, I have a blog?“ [...]

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