Cast your mind back, back, back through the mists of time to the craggy cliffs of the distant past, and you may recall a little blurb I wrote on the subject of the vaginafication of pop culture. Media personages, in an effort to enhippen themselves using the time-honored technique of women’s objectification, have taken to sticking the hi-fuckin-larious word “vagina” in all their scripts, monologues, and comedy bits. To the extent that some industry dudes are now claiming to suffer from vagina fatigue.
Not so, apparently, dudely Michigan state politicians. Vaginas rattle them to the core. I allude, in particular, to one Republican State Representative Mike Callton, who considers the allusion to female anatomy
“so offensive, I don’t even want to say it in front of women. I would not say that in mixed company.”
What the what? Why, in this age of vagina saturation, is Michigan state rep Mike Callton flipping his weenypeen? Dear god, did one of his female colleagues call him a cuntalina on the House floor?
Almost! It turns out that State Rep Lisa Brown alluded to her own vadge, using the word horrible word “vagina,” in a speech criticizing some super-misogynist anti-choice bill. The next day, after figuring out how horrified they were by this and what an excellet pretext this would be for shutting the bitch up, the pro-compulsory-pregnancy honchos banned her ass.
That’s right. Banned, by Republican jacknuts, from the debate, because she used the word “vagina” in a discussion on women’s health care legislation. Brown’s shockingly disgusting obscenity “violated the decorum of the House.”
Ladyparts. Can’t allude to’em on the House floor,** can’t remove unwanted parasites from’em. It’s almost like men control’em!
Here is Rep. Brown’s first person account of the Michigan ledge’s vaginasteria.
* This super-edgy fad comes mere decades after Eve Ensler.
** Alternate rules apply to TV and internet, wherein one is required to allude to the vulva at all times, although it is mandatory that the less accurate word “vagina” be substituted, because apparently nobody in the entertainment business has ever so much as glanced at an anatomy poster at the gyno’s office.