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Mar 05 2013

Sexopreneur pimps out hotties to losers

A person can either be generous and proactive, or attractive and submissive; any other combination would throw the whole system of human oppression into chaos.

A person can either be generous and proactive, or attractive and submissive; any other combination would throw the whole system of human oppression into chaos.

A spinster aunt can take a patriarchy-blaming hiatus, but misogyny never sleeps. While I was off on sabbatical, this deeply sad “dating auction” site popped up. That’s right, I said “dating auction.” Whats-your-price- dot com (I can’t bring myself to link to it; take out the dashes if you wish to see it for yourself) is where “generous people” bid on “dates” with “attractive people they normally wouldn’t meet.”

In other words, repulsive loser pervdudes buy the attention of financially strapped women who ordinarily wouldn’t touch them with a 10-foot pole. How it works is, the “generous person” browses the site, selects a woman, and makes an offer. The woman can (and should, for the lovamike) demand more. An agreement is reached, and Brandon Wade, the website’s CEO sexopreneur, takes a cut off the top. Says Brandon Wade (that’s gotta be his pornstar name, right?), dating is about “economics, supply and demand.” He claims that gajillions of people sign up for accounts just to see what their “dating value” is.

If this business model succeeds — and why shouldn’t it, as there is no shortage of either desperate women or pornsick dudes who flatter themselves that they are “generous” — it’s because women’s confinement to the sex class ensures their commodification. That a woman should be apprised of her “dating value” seamlessly integrates with a woman-hating Hot or Not culture. If she doesn’t find out on an auction site, she need only walk down the street. DudeNation isn’t shy about its ratings system.

“Gone are the days for settling for whatever was in a bar,” continues Brandon Wade. His auction site “guarantees results.” Apparently “results” means “an actual woman will actually degrade herself by renting out her society to you, no matter how repellent you are, without you having to win her over by closing time.”

Here are some of cyberpimp Brandon Wade’s bizarre date suggestions for the “generous person”:

If you need to go to the mall to pick out a new tie anyway, invite her along and maybe get a hot pretzel while you are there.

Put on funny accents. Go around town asking for directions to places that don’t exist.

Go bowling, but remember to order pizza.

Perhaps you remember old Brandon Wade from the runaway bestseller The Definitive Guide to Sugar Daddy and Mutually Beneficial Arrangements. That’s where he argues that “sugar babies” don’t have to be “young bimbo-victims.” Kept women can, he asserts, be “women of substance.” Women of substance love tagging along to the mall on tie-shopping trips, fingers crossed that sugar daddy will buy’em a pretzel.

You will be unsurprised to learn that on its home page, wypdotcom has a big photo of a pair of hottt chixxx, their lips parted as per the global porn regs, embracing. The tops of their heads are cut off, naturally, but that’s not the important part of a woman. They don’t need brains when they have a “generous person” to remember to order the pizza.

Thanks to blamer Maria, who says this website caused her to “lose her lobe.”

11 comments

  1. Barracuda

    Wait… aren’t there loads of prostitution websites already? Does this one cater to the niche market of men who want to pornify women in exchange for cash but call it dating, instead?

    “Well son I met your mother when I was able to bid about 12% more than her next top suitor. Given that she only earns 0.68$ to every 1.00$ I thought it was a risky investment, but now I realize her unpaid domestic and child-care labour more than evens it out.”

    Please excuse me while I barf!

  2. Raging Leftie

    Not surprising, but it should be shouldn’t it, can you imagine living in a world where this kind of thing surprised and shocked us. What kind of world are we letting our children grow up in? This kind of thing is at the moment quite nice but I have a feeling and wouldn’t be surprised if it just kept getting bigger and bigger. Women may agree to do these kinds of things, but the fact our society condones this and we have been effectively brain-washed by culturally ingrained concepts of gender and sex, women are disadvantaged beyond comparison in this kinds of circumstances. What can we do? I guess the first step should be not giving these sties publicity and I commend you for not giving the link.

  3. sjaustin

    “Gone are the days for settling for whatever was in a bar,” continues Brandon Wade.

    Well, at least Brandon Wade is 100% honest about the fact that he considers a woman to be a “what” rather than a “who.”

  4. gingerest

    Here is a unicorn chaser for that awful bit of information: loathesome sexopreneur Joe Francis and his shitty businesses are going bankrupt! http://money.cnn.com/2013/02/28/news/companies/girls-gone-wild/
    Couldn’t happen to a nicer guy. Oh, wait, sorry, I meant “couldn’t happen to a closer human analogue to a herpes lesion.”

  5. thebewilderness

    I wish they really were going out of business, gingerest.
    Unfortunately it appears to be a restructuring to avoid paying damages to their victims.

  6. Falkland

    Oh my goodness.

    Dude Nation, check yourselves and your smelly drawers. This is what happens when men have more money than sense.

  7. Kristine

    Speaking of prostitution, check out this totally unsurprising legal atrocity going on in NY:

    http://siphersaysstuff.tumblr.com/post/44809649559/anarcho-queer-new-york-city-cops-will-arrest-you

    Men hate women. They demand that we humiliate ourselves, and then punish us for it. I was having a good day, before I read this.

  8. TwissB

    Catching up with earlier posts.

    Kudos to the Blamer who made the brilliantly simple plea for changing from the much-used phrase “violence against women” to “Men’s Violemce Against Women.” By all means, name the agent of the harm.

    Enide – Reply to your March 4 post about the euphemism “escort” can be found back there.

  9. incognotter

    I can’t help but hope that the site inadvertently attracts a bunch of gay men and causes a panic in the woman-hating woman-seeking bros.

  10. Ciccina

    Surely you don’t actually have to be a gay man in order to sign up as a gay man on that site.

    I wonder what would happen if a whole bunch of Obstreperazzi set up, um, ‘comical’ profiles on that site to scare off the dude bros.

    I would participate in such an effort.

  11. Niki

    Me too (re: the previous post). Coup, yo!

    I know some actual real gay men (!) that would find a group overthrow awesome/hilarious as well in case women here are hesitant about the cooties that come from even typing such a thing in one’s browser. My brothers, they are not hesitant nor are they sparing.

    Legions! Let me know, I’ll be on it immediately.

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