Not all discourse on the subject of celebrities has to be vapid. Sometimes the cynosure class’ exploits, as reported by the legion of professional watchers charged with the duty of exalting them to an insatiable public, can be instructive. I won’t say that the “Free Paris” thread scaled any unmastered pinnacles of blaming greatness, but […]
Archive for the 'Femininity' Category
Lessons in blaming from the celebrities
Published May 10th, 2007 in Men Hate You, Sexploitation and Femininity. 47 CommentsI live a pretty vivid inner life, but some things are so sinister, so creepy, so vulgar, that even I couldn’t make’em up. As an example of a real-life horror scenario, I give you the Sugar & Spice Spa Camp for Girls.
That’s right. No archery or horseback riding or canoeing or lanyard-making will interfere with […]
R.I.P: dignity, shelf bras
Published April 28th, 2007 in Femininity and Crazy sexy cancer. 113 CommentsRipped mercilessly from their tankinis, these former over-the-shoulder-boulder-holders are destined to hang limp forever more.
It’s like this: as of last July, I ain’t got no boobs. So today I initiate what is certain to become an annual ritual: the Spring Shelf-Bra Slice-Out. I expect to complain about it every year, too, so don’t be surprised […]
Because they function as the flappy lips of patriarchy, newspapers print almost nothing but updates on the crazy men who run the world, sappy sentimental bullshit, and asinine misogynist lies all the time. Yesterday’s Washington Post Op-Ed on the unfitness of women for military service combines all three in one nose-blowingly irritating essay.
In her nonsensical […]
Patriarchy-blamer makes straw-secondwaver joke
Published March 29th, 2007 in Strawfeminism and Femininity. 52 CommentsAt last! I found love in a strip mall in Dallas.
The undisguised non-subtext of the week here at I Blame the Patriarchy has been Radical Feminists Tell Femininity To Kiss Their Entire Ass. If you grow weary of the topic, be of good cheer; I am lately returned, uncharred, from the icy purgatorial fires of […]
At the risk of putting the blog on fem-overload, I urge the “Yay femininity!” crowd to consider that casting Helen Mirren as an expensive sexbot for the cover of the planet’s mainstreamiest design catalog effectively reduces her from accomplished actor to whore (and overstuffed furniture salesman) in a single stroke. I know this because my […]
Wikipedia: the first refuge of the lazy
Published March 27th, 2007 in Mass Media and Femininity. 75 CommentsIf your nom de blog is Twisty Faster, and you are ever directed to Wikipedia to inspect an article titled “Twisty faster” [sic], a “self described Queer Gentleman Spinster Aunt” [sic], it is probable that you will, after initially feeling a bit flattered but ultimately blanking the page on grounds of painful factual inaccuracy (yup, […]
The Vestal Virgins of North Dallas: an average nouveau-riche white guy combines the feminine ideal with life-size entoga-ed yard ornaments.
Still on my whirlwind tour of the Dallas-Ft. Worth Metroplex. This post will necessarily embrace brevity as its guiding aesthetic principle.
I’ve barely had time to duck my head into the bulging “what is femininity” comments. […]
I love the smell of a glamour-don’t in the morning
Published February 28th, 2007 in Femininity. 136 CommentsA propos of the recent discussion on self-policing female tools of the patriarchy: behold NPR’s “Morning Edition” commentator Dawn Turner Trice as she condemns the practice, which has apparently proliferated wildly out of control among pregnant women in her office, of wearing spandex that accentuates their enceinteship. She finds “unsettling” the frankness with which her […]
The author: indescribably pretty as (L to R) Steroid-Faced Cue Ball, Nocturnal Puckerer, Wrinkle-free Café Poseur in Frida Kahlo Undershirt.
I can’t write about nuthin these days without finding myself on the business end of a pious, pointing finger upon which is etched the tiny slogan ‘j’accuse!’ I have been accused of gross intolerance of everything […]
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