Archive for the 'Blogulation' Category

Please enjoy this open thread while I do something more interesting than write a blog post

When this remark

Yup. This is the only place I don’t comment under a male pseudonym.

showed up in the comments this morning I got to wondering. The Internet is even more openly hostile to Vagina-Americans than real life is. Do you ever use a dudely nom de blog when you flit about the matrix? What has been the outcome? Have you ever successfully argued a point (feminist or not) while, if not exactly posing as a dude, then at least keeping your non-dudeliness to yourself?

If this topic bores you, feel free to jaw about anything you want in the comments.

Update: The comments are turning into a Hugo Schwyzer beatdown, with my blessing. Fuck that fucking fuck.

Happy trails, Fugly!

This post will interest few, if any, of you, but nevertheless it is my duty as a patriarchy-blaming gentleman farmer to publicly mourn the passing of my favorite horse blog, Fugly Horse of the Day. Fugly was written by an opinionated muckrakin’ horse chick who, okay, she sometimes made fun of hillbillies and pornulated women, but she actively advocated against patriarchal oppression of equines, so on balance I would say the overall effect was FAIRLY. EPIC. WIN!!!!1!

The horse industry, because the whole enterprise leeches off an enslaved and incarcerated population (the horses) while simultaneously preying upon a self-replenishing customer base of gullible horse-crazy romantics (the owners), is lousy with flim-flam, rip-offs, cruelty, deceit, abuse, ignorance, and murder. A code of silence is enforced among professionals and prominent breed and horse show associations alike, like it’s some kind of equestrian Cosa Nostra, which of course is how the abuse is perpetuated. Cathy of the Fugly blog, using equal parts shaming and humor, tirelessly outed the asshole trainers, the abusive subcultures, the dishonest horse traders, the hopeless hoarders, the con artists, and the irresponsible breeders. This was quite a public service, since speaking out against evil in the horse industry just isn’t done. As a result she endured shit of dudebros-against-radfems proportions: ridicule, lawsuits, death threats, etc.

Horribly, Cathy got too busy to blog and sold Fugly Horse of the Day for a reported $10K. I never knew you could sell a homemade blog for $10K! But I guess because so many horsey folks are fed up with the crapulent status quo, this one had gazillions of avid readers, making it a sort modest cash cow. Nobody knows who bought Fugly; it is suddenly being authored by someone whose identity has yet to be revealed. And who, by way of preparing the reader for the forthcoming onslaught of what she readily admits will be “bad grammar and awkward phrasing,” included this ominous statement in her introductory remarks:

For me blogging is about saying what I think, as I think it, a virtual barfing on the keys.

LE. SIGH. !!!11! .

Spinster aunt can’t shut the fuck up all of a sudden

Radical feminist blog discussions can take some interesting turns, some of the interestingest of which arise from the wacky circumstance of Savage Death Island’s status as — and we don’t want this to be true, but true it is — a patriarchal subculture. We can’t exist outside or independently of the dominant culture — nothing can — so we’re stuck trying to invent a post-patriarchal world order from within patriarchy’s crapulent boundaries. Even as we’re relegated to the crapulent lunatic fringe, we’re enfoisted with the crapulent language of patriarchy, and its crapulent traditions and conventions, and its crapulent art. Every time we complain about some particularly crapulent aspect of all this crapulence, we get resisted, often by feminists themselves, because crappy though it may be, this is the only culture we’ve got. We’ve gotten kind of used to it. We forget, pretty often, to question its authority.

Take the other day, when the discussion turned to the crapulence of horndog author Vladimir Nabokov and his icky novel Lolita. I said something like “this is some crapulent kiddie porn shit, yo.”

Whereupon a reader, obviously experiencing one of those spontaneous liberal-dude fugue states that overtake us all from time to time, and careful not to “pick a side of the argument,” commented

But there is a greater issue at stake here: that of censorship.

You probably remember, couple of days ago, hearing the unmistakable roar of a lobe revving up to about 7800 SPM.* That was my lobe.

What follows is more or less how I responded to the idea that some tiresome dude-novel should be exempt from feminist critique on accounta censorship-is-bad. I had to add some stuff, of course, to prevent this post from being dangerously shortwinded.

1. There is (I said) no greater issue at stake than the liberation of women from patriarchal oppression.

The liberation of women from patriarchal oppression is more important than a man’s right to 24-hour access to poontang. It’s more important than a woman’s right to the performance of sexy empowering femininity. It’s more important than a scholarly analysis of a canonical work. It’s more important than censorship.

Censorship has meant this and that and the other thing over the years. The government won’t let you burn flags. The authorities herd you and your “Who Would Jesus Bomb?” protest sign into a “free speech” zone when Dubya shows up at a rally. The secret police throw you in prison for writing stuff unflattering stuff about your totalitarian government. Your library uses content-control software. The TV network bleeps out your (or Gordon Ramsay’s) F-bombs. The self-censoring Internet feminist uses the word F-bomb instead of the word fuck for no reason.

In the context of Internet feminist discourse, however, censorship seems to be something only feminist dissidents do, probably because we hate freedom! Censorship means “the practice of feminists voicing dissenting opinions on the Global Accords Governing Fair Use of Women.”

According to this interpretation, we Nazi feminists, with our intolerable idea that the fetishization of women’s oppression violates all women, are to be harassed, shouted down, and condemned by the liberal dudes found swinging from every rafter of the Internet, in an effort to suppress our dissent. Why? Apparently because saying “Lolita sucks” is tantamount to demanding a book-burning. Of a beloved, transgressive monument to lyric dudeliness.

Ironically, dudely suppression of feminist dissent is itself censorship, the very -ship that these free speech-lovin’ dudes purport to be against. Censorship is apparently bad only when it threatens to undermine DudeNation’s death-grip on its own sceptre of passion.

2. It is not censorship to advance feminist critiques of dudeliocentric art-porn.

In order to perform actual censorship, a censor must first occupy a position of authority over the censoree, and must be able to command minions sufficient for enforcement. The dudes and dudesses of DudeNation, for example, censor radical feminists all the time. Have you ever seen a radical feminist sitcom, fashion spread, toilet cleaner commercial, or New York Times bestseller?

It’s no secret that this very blog gets hit with DDoS attacks all the flippin’ time. Censorship!

Conversely, radical feminists, dangling by gnarled claws from our remote precipice out in Lunatic Fringe, are in no position to censor anything. We’re not in power. We have no authority. We enjoy little privilege. We command no minions. Even if we wanted to, which we don’t, we couldn’t prevent even one celebrated genius from writing child rape fantasies and calling it art.

About all we can do is advance feminist critiques and submit feminist analyses, both here on the Internet, and through the awesome power of those super-effective patriarchy-busting “THIS DEGRADES WOMEN” stickers hastily applied to American Apparel ads in bus stops. We can argue that the publication and artification of Lolita-esque child rape fantasies contributes to the fetishization of women’s oppression and is therefore antifeminist and inimical to all women generally.

We can also suggest remedies. Such as “if you make pornography you’re a misogynist rape apologist douche, so cut it the fuck out, you dumb fuck.” And also, “if you consume pornography you’re a misogynist rape apologist douche, so cut it the fuck out, you dumb fuck.” In fact, pretty much, “whenever you are anything but wildly enthusiastic about the repeal of male privilege, you’re a dumb fuck doing something you should be cutting the fuck out.”

3. The revolution will render all graphic representations of rape obsolete by smashing the domination/submission paradigm.

Once domination/submission bites the dust as the primary model upon which all human relationships are based, 99.9% of the beloved literary canon will start to look dated, corny, and bigoted, because it was all written in support of, from the point of view of, and under the auspices of patriarchal oppression. By bigots.

In other words, since oppression will cease to be fetishized by the enlightened survivors of the revolution, pornography will cease to exist, all on its own. The demand will evaporate. No censorship required! Just add common sense and simple human compassion!

4. The degree to which the idea of a world in which Shakespeare, Joyce and Nabokov are considered quaint relics of a barbaric age makes one uneasy, it is precisely to that degree that one is imbued with, invested in, and brainwashed by patriarchal mores.

Go ahead. Defend The Taming of the Shrew as a feminist bildungsroman all you want. You know you’re just pulling a bunch of English major bullshit outta your status quo-lovin’ ass.

To recap:
Is Lolita art? Sure, why not? It’s misogynist, barbaric art that degrades the whole species. Awesome.

Should Lolita be banned? Nah. Banning it, or any other pornographic “work,” would be like trying to treat 2,567,438 purulent boils with a single drop of Boil-Away.** Banning stuff never works. It just creates shadowy, subterranean subcultures who get off on the bannedness of their precious banned thing.

In any event, banning Lolita would do nothing to eradicate the underlying humanitarian crisis of which it is a symptom. Instead, I suggest a feminist response to pornography that advocates — persistently, and with salty language, ridicule, satire, and shaming — the eradication of any social order predicated on the existence and oppression of a sex class.

___________________
* SPM = Spinspulsations Per Minute

** By Ronco

Spinster aunt pleads for justice

It’s no secret that this is a happy-go-lucky blog run by a carefree, complaisant Internet feminist. This Internet feminist has bigger fish to fry and is not concerned in the slightest with the style of expression used by the mellow folks who leave comments. Oh, she might make a small suggestion or two, here and there, regarding spelling, punctuation, capitalization, the navel-gazing properties of certain personal pronouns, syntax, length of comment, emoticons, whether descriptions of certain intimate acts are appropriate, and general grammar, yes, but in the grand context of patriarchy blaming these are but minutiae [note: when in doubt, consult the GFC]. Although strict compliance is — without putting too fine a point on it — more or less required, it serves the greater good and, more to the point, prevents my obstreperal lobe from blowing.

It is in the spirit of blown lobe prevention that we make yet another desperate appeal for the immediate cessation of the use of the phrase “teh menz!” in submissions to the comments section. Reading those words has, upon the delicate aunt, an effect similar to that precipitated by such painful expressions as “it is what it is,” “hot enough for ya?” and “EPIC FAIL.”

Spinster aunt proposes Elk theory

You know how entire threads here at I Blame the Patriarchy regularly come and go without anyone invoking Nazis of any kind? Well, I’m going to advance a radical theory that is mine. The theory, which belongs to me, is that Godwin’s Law doesn’t seem to obtain all that often on this here blog anymore because the number of dude commenters is kept to a number at or below 3. That is my theory that is mine, it belongs to me, and I own it and what it is too. My theory that I have about why this theory can only belong to me is that this is the only site on the entire dudernet where there are less than 3 dudes.

Spinster aunt dashes off some fluff, proceeds with overbooked Sunday

No time to post, but look at this, I got another head-pat from a dude!

Hello,

While I am a dude, and disagree with a lot of your worldview, I’d like to let you know I really enjoy reading your blog. You’re a very good writer and your posts are entertaining and thought-stimulating. Please keep up the good work — there is a paucity of actual quality content in the blogosphere, and I daresay that you’re propping up the mean.

When women write me, they never, ever tell me that I am “a very good writer” and to “keep up the good work” because there isn’t enough decent writing on the Internet. Women say things like “that post on consent changed my life,” or “Now I know I’m not alone/crazy/hysterical.”

Dudes, on the other hand, always feel compelled to inform me that they disagree with me (this is a non-negotiable component of dude fan mail), but that they are nevertheless are willing to be entertained by me. They usually include a couple of 25-cent words, like “daresay” and “paucity.” “Keep up the good work” is another essential element. Thanks for the dudely encouragement, dude! Because I was totally thinking about packing up shop and opening up a pole dancing studio at Whole Foods.

UPDATE (or, perhaps, DOWNDATE): I wrote a much better post on this topic last year, back when I was smarter and there were more patriarchy-blaming hours in the day. The Hanging Chads of Savage Death Island. This post is better because it’s more long-winded, and also because at the end it explains how feminist revolt will make pornography obsolete. Thanks to MaryK and AlienNumber for reminding me of it.

More comments guidelines

Less of this:

If you allowed opposing views you would learn that it is you who are the oppressor.
– some banned knob

And more of this:

My ovaries jangle melodiously, like distant sleigh bells. — Antoinette Niebieszczanski

That is all.

Vulvular witticism of the week

Enya wafting from pants

“If you put your ear to my labia, you can hear the strains of Enya drifting out.”

Notorious Ph.D, describing the healing powers of her poontangal moonglow

Incisive blamer commentary clippets of the day

Plastic trophy
Fig. 7. Unknown Artist. Kid trophy. 2009. Plastic and marble, 5 1/2″ x 3″. Collection of Finn Faster (age 5).

From the colorful comments on the MacGyver post:

Oppression is like kids’ soccer: we ALL get a trophy! — tinfoil hattie

Hetero feminists are not all Stepford Wives, you know. — Jezebella

If one partners with a man, with or without papers, it REQUIRES you to live in a one-down position every day of your life. — FemmeForever

The whole het-vs-lesbian debate strikes me as a little bit disingenuous, since sexual relationships are not the only kinds of relationships that can occur between men and women, and indeed are not, in my opinion, particularly distinguished or special as compared to familial, friendly, or professional relationships. — Triste

Having a father or brother is not voluntary. Having a husband or son is. Platonic friendships and professional relationships do not have the same emotional intensity, i.e. the kind of emotional intensity which encourages compromises. — Kali

I would go further and say the superlative importance our culture places on romantic relationships is the very KEY to how patriarchy maintains itself. — Darragh Murphy

Being with women doesn’t insulate me from things I fear about patriarchal culture. — nails

So, a tube sock, an Olivetti, and a Timex watch walk into a bar. — buttercup

[A] long period of celibacy for women is crucial to coming around to the idea that men aren’t necessary for happiness and fulfillment and that life can be pretty satisfying without them. — speedbudget

Radical feminism is deeply unpopular among heterosexual women. It requires of us what we cannot do: give up our collusion with our oppressors. — Hedgepig

Just the idea of a man’s peen grosses me out now — sorry, but what awful dangly little things they are! urgh. — N/A

I like to pretend emo bands fronted by impossibly-banged boys in skinny jeans are actually headed by Amy Ray. — Sarah

Fellatios are quite a hassle. *– Anna

_____________________
* Remember the Fellatio Wars of Aught-Six? Good times!

Spinster aunt reads interesting email

Despite the dire predictions saturating yesterday’s news, last night’s “supermoon” didn’t precipitate too many cosmic cataclysms or harmonic convergences here in Cottonmouth County. The toilets still flush clockwise and my internet connection remains intact. Sometimes intact internet connections bum me out, but today I was pleased to discover among the emails a communiqué from Athena Andreadis, molecular neurobiologist, author, and my new idol.

In her email Ms Andreadis expressed general solidarity, curled a lip at “the Tarzanism of the self-labeled progressive intellectuals” (the Dawkinses of which group I pooh-poohed in yesterday’s post), then turned me on to her blog, Astrogator’s Logs.

As superintendent of the Savage Death Island Spinstitute for No. 1 Science Information, I am delighted, in turn, to turn you on to her blog. Her essays have titles like “Girl Cooties Menace the Singularity!” and do not disappoint. Behold an excerpt from “Blastocysts Feel No Pain,” a recent piece bursting with No. 1 Science Information, on the misogyny of blastocyst-worship, the handiness of stem cells, the crappiness of the “Protect Life” Act, and the redoubtable power of politicians to enslave women as fetusbags.

Despite fulminations to the contrary, women never make reproductive decisions lightly since their repercussions are irreversible, life-long and often determine their fate. Becoming a human is a process that is incomplete even at birth, since most brain wiring happens postnatally. Demagoguery may be useful to lawyers, politicians and control-obsessed fanatics. But in the end, two things are true: actual humans are (should be) much more important than potential ones – and this includes women, not just the children they bear and rear; and embryonic stem cells, because of their unique properties, may be the only path to alleviating enormous amounts of suffering for actual humans.

Ms Andreadis avers that, loosely speaking, blastocyst : human :: acorn : oak. Imagine (and this lumpen speculation is purely my invention; don’t go blaming it on Athena) if the Oak People were as loony over acorns as godbag humans are over clumps of cells. My horses hang around under oak trees all day waiting for acorns to fall, so they can eat them with some fava beans and a nice chianti.* If they didn’t get eaten, the zillions of acorns that happened to land in hospitable spots would become irksome, ankle-shredding shrubs, eventually choking the life out of each other in a slo-mo battle royale over water, sun, and nutrients. Providing sustenance to furry woodland creatures is what the vast majority of acorns do. Everybody (except the people who have to rake them up) accepts the happy outcome of this reasonable arrangement with grace and dignity, which is why you won’t see gangs of sapped-up timber from the Society for Compulsory Arborosity running around like mad trying to force all these acorns into seedlings; this would kill the adult trees and starve the forest critters. Also, timber can’t run.

Nobody needs every flippin’ embryo to turn into a baby, either, but stem cells can actually improve the circumstances of persons who are already humans.

If you catch my drift.

_____________________
* Yes, I am aware that acorns are toxic to horses. Fastidious raking keeps them (the horses) alive, but the equine aptitude for acorn-spotting is remarkable for animals with brains the size of plums.