Category Archive: Bloodsport

That which pertains to butchery for the purpose of entertainment. Includes the advancement of a vegan ideology.

Oct 09 2013

iPad-using train passengers neglect to notice crazed gunman, get called out by SF Chronicle

It’s great to be alive in the Teensies! First of all, 9 out of 10 people are allergic to bread all of a sudden, so I get the whole basket to myself at restaurants. Second? Yeah, I’m trying to think of a second great thing, but I can’t, so I’ll just skip straight to the …

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May 08 2013

Shirley he can’t be serious

President Obama is shocked/shocked that more and more members of the military appear to be confused about precisely which sorts of violent, antisocial behaviors are patriotic, and which are criminal. Here he responds to the grim 411 that sexual assaults in the military are up over 30% since 2010: “I want [the victims of sexual …

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Mar 14 2013

Rape prevention gun debate: as usual, it’s not about women, it’s about preserving the status quo

Begging your pardon, but this morning it is necessary to link to Fox News. It is not often that my delicately balanced obstreperal lobe will tolerate more than a few milligrams of Fox’s unsophisticated, hostile, and overwrought discharges. In fact, in order to regain cable news harmony within my lobe, today I will require a …

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Mar 01 2013

Miss Popularity

Teen beauty queen porn. What WaPo reader can resist its sweet charms?

As part of IBTP’s ongoing (as of yesterday) casting-of-the-aspersions at the vagina ghettos with cutesy chick-identifying titles in which mainstream publications bury women’s opinion, let us turn today to the Washington Post’s “She the People” blog. See how the word “she” is cleverly underlined in lipstick? This tells potential women readers that a tawdry smear …

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Aug 30 2012

Fifty shades of Gunsmoke

A propos of any befuddlement concerning the current popularity of corny BDSM novels: Last night while waiting for my orecchiette to cook, I flipped on the TV. It was a 60′s-era episode of “Gunsmoke,” the longest-running primetime TV series in American history. Here is the scene I saw: A Marlboro Man and a hot but …

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Jul 28 2012

Breaking Baddus Interruptus

beachvolleyball

Fully loaded ice bucket next to couch? Check. Bottle of Prosecco in it? Check. Bag of Funyuns? Check. That’s right. Time to watch the season premier of “Breaking Bad.” Wait! The phone’s ringing? Son of a bitch, phone off hook, not-check! Well, it was my mother. I always answer when it’s my mother because she’s …

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Jun 26 2012

Discrimination Korner: Cover your boobs whether you have them or not

The author in 2006

Because, unlike me, you pay attention to current events, you have probably heard about the Seattle woman who got booted out of the public pool for trying to swim topless while boobless. Dudes flaunt the torso daily without eliciting comment, but the Seattle Parks & Rec Dept. gave Jodi Jaecks the bum’s rush because she …

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Jun 21 2012

Ladyjunk strikes fear in hearts of Michigan ledge

Cast your mind back, back, back through the mists of time to the craggy cliffs of the distant past, and you may recall a little blurb I wrote on the subject of the vaginafication of pop culture. Media personages, in an effort to enhippen themselves using the time-honored technique of women’s objectification, have taken to …

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Mar 03 2012

Righteous indignation

Your fellow citizen Holly expresses her dissatisfaction with my parking technique, and chronicles her suffering as a result of same, in this charming windshield chastisement. The heart bleeds for Your fellow citizen Holly. It must have been bloody inconvenient, having to crawl in from the passenger side. Holly, a woman of principle, simply cannot remain …

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Jan 15 2012

Fairy tale Sunday

Have you heard about the recent breast implant scare in Europe and South America? It goes like this: A French manufacturer (Poly Implant Prosthese, or “PIP”) gets busted for making their sexbags with cut-rate industrial grade silicone and (some allege) a fuel additive. The bags are distributed globally into the innocent chests of over 300,000 …

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