As I revealed in the comments to yesterday’s post on Big Gulps, Sarah Palin, and metabolic disease, I recently had my personal auntly body fat measured. They dunked me like a donut in a sort of clinical baptismal vat, whereupon it was revealed that the spinster aunt is comprised of 37% fat. This, it will …
Category Archive: Crazy sexy cancer
That which pertains to the megacancerocracy, as well as to Twisty Faster’s own first-hand experiences with this most crapulent of diseases
Jun 26 2012
Discrimination Korner: Cover your boobs whether you have them or not
Because, unlike me, you pay attention to current events, you have probably heard about the Seattle woman who got booted out of the public pool for trying to swim topless while boobless. Dudes flaunt the torso daily without eliciting comment, but the Seattle Parks & Rec Dept. gave Jodi Jaecks the bum’s rush because she …
Feb 08 2012
Pissed off cancer patient holds forth
I hate to post a vid and run, but duty calls me away from my desk. I invite you to behold Linda, whose eloquent and moving Komen takedown had me literally clapping — with both hands — by the end. What she describes is precisely my own experience, by the way, with the exception of …
Feb 02 2012
Komen sucks, Part 47
Nothing could heartwarm the spinster aunt–cum–plucky breast cancer survivor more than to see the vile Komen Foundation getting raked over the coals and scrutinized and vilified in the mainstream. It’s about fucking time. So it is fair to ask: Just what are the scientific and medical standards to which the Susan G. Komen Foundation adheres, …
Jul 11 2011
The intersectionality of menopause and male enhancement
2:46 A.M. Sudden, overwhelming sense of despair. Blast furnace embedded under skin cranks up to eleven. Hot sweats. Uncontrollable shivers. Cold sweats. Drenched and freezing. Yelling “Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck!” Toweling off, changing clothes, changing sheets. Back to the Tempurpedic for two hours of sleepless ceiling-staring/channel-flipping. 6:30 A.M. Alarm goes off. Discombobulation commences. [Open appeal …
Oct 15 2010
It’s Gratuitious Erotica Month!
So much has happened since the last time I bothered to post that I’m just going to ignore it all and start here. First it must be acknowledged that here at Spinster Aunt HQ we are suffering from Chilean Miner Fatigue. Yes, we’re as enchanted as the next aunt by the time-honored spectacle of extracting …
Feb 18 2010
What I did on my Christmas vacation
A couple of months ago I had a near-death experience. Oh no, an autobiographical interlude! If I were some science blogger I’d probably say, “Hey, get your own fucking blog for that crap!” But you know how it is. Everythang I do gon be funky from now on, etc. The near-death experience was a 24-hour …
Nov 19 2009
American boobs used as political football, part 472
Regular readers know that, news-wise, CNN confuses me, and that I have all but kicked the NPR habit (it seems fantastic, but El Rancho Deluxe gets only one radio station, and it only plays one song: that Red Hot Chili Peppers slow dance where the dude yodels in that weird accent about how he doesn’t …
Sep 02 2009
Just when you thought it was safe
The Blogulation Department here at Spinster HQ has been on sabbatical due to auntly apathy and writer’s block. The deadly apathy/writer’s block combo, which results from intermittently spasmodic crystalline antimatter anomalies in the obstreperal lobe — brought on, no doubt, by extended megatheocorporatocratic interference — is also responsible for my having chucked college, all my …
May 20 2009
Outtakes from “Escape from Savage Death Island”
1. While awaiting phlebotomization yesterday at Cancerland, I thumb through a copy of People magazine. Here is what expert sexologist Bristol Palin has to say on the efficacy of magic fundamentalist christian abstinence-juju sex ed: “If girls realized the consequences of sex, nobody would be having sex,” says Bristol, sitting at her parents’ lakeside patio …
Should you wish to flatter me with theft
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Savage Death Island Motto
Take it or fucking leave it and get the hell away from me.
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