Category Archive: Crazy sexy cancer

That which pertains to the megacancerocracy, as well as to Twisty Faster's own first-hand experiences with this most crapulent of diseases

May 14 2007

I said who put all those things in your head

Susan Mitchell, writing in Salon on the oft-smirked-at phenomenon of ‘chemo-brain’, describes it nicely. Memory holes, addled wits, the “quite frequent inability to name common objects […] : ‘Book.’ ‘Envelope.’ ‘Cup.’” And when I say she describes it nicely, I mean she is nice about it. She betrays little sense of outrage or crapulence when …

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May 04 2007

What the middle-aged nihilist is thinking this season

If you follow the news — and I pity you if you do — you have already heard that post-menopausal women can supposedly cut their risk of dementia in half if they take HRT (hormone replacement therapy) immediately after the onset of the pause. But the findings are merely “observational,” so don’t go running off …

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Apr 28 2007

R.I.P: dignity, shelf bras


Ripped mercilessly from their tankinis, these former over-the-shoulder-boulder-holders are destined to hang limp forever more. It’s like this: as of last July, I ain’t got no boobs. So today I initiate what is certain to become an annual ritual: the Spring Shelf-Bra Slice-Out. I expect to complain about it every year, too, so don’t be …

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Apr 24 2007

Sticker shock


The FDA just approved this drug for patients with mondo HER2-positive breast cancer. Lucky for Glaxo-Smith-Kline! And lucky for the 4 or 5 women on the planet who can fucking afford it! My insurance company doesn’t feel like coughing up. I’ll be on it for a year, assuming it doesn’t kill me, to the tune …

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Mar 17 2007



I know how you all look forward to these close-ups of my fresh incisions. Me: I always forget. How long does this stuff take to work? Anesthesiologist [depressing syringe plunger]: You probably won’t even remember me saying th– Me: What am I doing with this Taco Cabana taco wrapper in my hand? Why am I …

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Mar 15 2007

Vernal meditations on the vivisectional life


What is springtime without the traditional Sewage Back-up in the Pink Shower? Spring is in the air here in sunny Austin, TX, and that means it’s time for my bimonthly surgery! How time flies. In October of 2005, a few days after I got my cancer diagnosis but before I’d started any treatments, I listened …

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Jan 26 2007

Good news, bad news


A little lite reading at a DC bus stop. Photographed and originally uploaded by techne, some rights reserved. First, the bad news. Get a load of this poster, photographed by DC blogger/photographer techne at a Washington DC bus hut. The poster features a faceless young woman’s body, its physique of porn-approved dimensions, clothed in what …

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Jan 08 2007

Birdness as usual


I return from abroad this fine brisk morning to find that Congress Ave — Austin’s most conspicuous Ave. — is shut down from Town Lake to the capitol building. Some cops reported “feeling sick” and birds have apparently been dropping dead out of the sky, biblical-plague-like. “Welcome home, Twisty!” they seem to say. Authorities — …

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Dec 08 2006

Hey, hetero!


A bug’s death in Australia, as photographed by Deborah Kelly When Aussie blamer Deborah Kelly sent me this marvelous photograph of a giant spider eating a giant dragonfly I was pleased in the extreme, for I exist in a perpetual state of awe over the really superb critters prowling around Australia. Every bug they’ve got …

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Oct 31 2006

Breast Cancer Awareness Month Finally Over: Retailers Descend Into Funk

In these, the final hours of Breast Cancer Awareness Month ’06, it is the fervent hope of thousands of retailers the world over that everyone out there has finally heard of breast cancer, and, most importantly, is willing to buy stuff to prove it. * * * * * * * * * * So …

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