Despite an airtight defense (she “didn’t know” her license was suspended when she got busted for doing 70 in a 35), Paris Hilton’s been sentenced to 45 days in the hoosegow. Now her loyal fans are circulating Free Paris petitions. This is my favorite: “If the late former President Gerald Ford could find it in …
Category Archive: Easy Persiflage
Personal essays of a non-patriarchy-blaming nature
Apr 19 2007
The spinster aunt takes a coffee break
Because I am the world’s flakiest patriarchy-blaming blogger, I forgot to post the note alerting the World of Blame that I would be taking an extended coffee break for a few days. As a matter of fact, I’m still off duty, but that won’t stop me from live-blogging a cup of coffee from Flipnotics, the …
Apr 12 2007
So it goes
Public Galápagos tortoises of Austin. The Galápagos tortoise lives twice as long as Kurt Vonnegut, Jr, who, by the way, wrote a novel called Galapagos in which H. sapiens evolves into a species of tiny-brained cetaceanesques. Tortoises photographed at the sad, so-called Austin Zoo, a sort of repository for unwanted, damaged-looking exotic animals, March 2007. …
Apr 04 2007
sos
Posting fom blackberry … Desperate … How do you get three year old out of sandbox at burger joint wthout meltdwn? UPDATE FROM TWISTY BUNGALOW: Naturally the battery on my Blackberry went blotto about two seconds after I posted the above, so I was unable to avail myself of your advices. I ended up bribing …
Mar 20 2007
Arthropod of the week
Hand in hand with the annual Sewage Backup arrives the annual Millipede Infestation. For where stench and decay harbinge, millipedes fear not to tread. With their zillions of feet. Today, summoning the kind of millipedian savoir-faire that accrues only after years of sewage backup/wildlife experience, and using tiny tranquilizer guns, and we were able to …
Mar 13 2007
A geek’s story
According to blamer Metamanda, somebody commenting on a recent thread, perhaps swept up in the frenzy of the moment, typed this: Is there anything about being a geek that makes a person more attractive? There were apparently other unfortunate statements, such as “no social skills” and “can’t get dates.” “Those are low blows,” responds self-identified …
Mar 10 2007
It’s time for the annual link to Norbizness
Twisty and Norbizness at Woodstock. The wait is over. Behold.
Mar 08 2007
Komedy Korner
Thrashing about in a fog of uncertainty? Distressed that the most popular free online opedia is “increasingly anti-Christian and anti-Amerian”? Why not consult Conservapedia?. Using this powerful tool, you will find the following beacons of enlightenment gleaming in the darkness: – “On Wikipedia, many of the dates are provided in the anti-Christian “C.E.” instead of …
Mar 05 2007
Psst! Over here! This is the thread for sci-fi geeks.
Don’t want to talk about Shulamith? Fine. Get the science fiction out of your system here. I’ll even start it off: Heinlein is a fucking sexist knob.
Mar 03 2007
Grievance Department
You’ve breathlessly awaited the next installment of my acclaimed series Traffic Cones of South Austin. The wait is over. I present “The Lone Cone.” South Congress Ave. February 2007. [Not pictured: the tea hat] Maybe once in a generation somebody writes a comment so profound, so incisive, so utterly penetrating that suddenly you find yourself …
Should you wish to flatter me with theft
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Savage Death Island Motto
Take it or fucking leave it and get the hell away from me.
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