The other day I rode a horse bareback for the first time in 30 years. This horse. It was just like riding a bike, if the bike were 6 feet tall, 1300 pounds, and would spook like a deer at the terrifying sight of a cigarette butt on the ground. I had to get a …
Category Archive: El Rancho Deluxe
Tales from the Faster country seat in Cottonmouth County, Texas
Nov 14 2009
LubeWatch ’09
Unidentified terrestrial object, September 2009. Fellow heartwarming nature crappists will recall that, although spinster aunts are closely related to mushrooms (in terms of a shared propensity to sprout on rotting logs), my mycological chops are not, perhaps, as finely honed as might be considered ideal. Thus I will refrain from positively identifying this appealing, orange, …
Oct 26 2009
Spinster aunt laughed out of town
See this mondo fungal blob? Well, hold onto your hats, because it is the self-same mondo fungal blob a photo of which I posted a few days ago. Back then, it struck me as one of a genus of mushroom known to fungus geeks as Agaricus. It struck me thus because, I am ashamed to …
Sep 06 2009
Austin inhabitant eschews Twitter; employs extremely inefficient low-tech communication device
You know how sometimes something sort of funny happens? Something sort of funny happened to me this morning. The canids and I were out traipsing over hill and dale, like we do every morning. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, the fish were flapping, the snakes were snaking, etc. I’d found a funky …
Aug 23 2009
Spinster aunt’s adopted hometown lives up to reptilian moniker
Spinster aunts, at midnight after a half a bot of rosé, are often inclined to sluice out to the back porch, wearing attractive headlamps, to find Western diamondback rattlesnakes hanging out by the door. The serpents wait like patience on a statue, apparently imagining that mice or hunks of filet mignon are about to come …
Aug 05 2009
Spinster aunt still not dead
This just in from Spinster HQ: I ain’t dead. I don’t even have a summer cold. In fact, a team of experts has measured my vim and found it sufficient. Neither, it pleases me to report, am I (at least this time) one of those internet feminists whose real life is so fascinating or fraught …
Jun 23 2009
A deep subject
As promised: the well pump repair documentary, cinematographed with my iPhone. Five minutes of pure torture.
Jun 16 2009
Zippy, 16, dies, goddammit
Well, Zippy took a sudden turn for the worse yesterday morning. Her hind end just gave out completely. I could stand her up all right, but the slightest little puff of wind would knock her over, goddammit. The situation was untenable. I couldn’t find a vet who’d do a housecall euthanasia, so Stingray and I …
May 02 2009
Meet the beetles
UPDATE: The flowers pictured above were originally misidentified by the Spinster Vegetation Dept. as phlox. They are, obviously, rose vervain. We blame a crappy Wildflowers-at-a-Glance laminated pocket guide. But we do not apologize for any inconvenience. It is hard to imagine anyone being inconvenienced by a mistake on a heartwarming nature crap blog. A ridiculous …
May 01 2009
Spinster aunt harkens to call of the wild
Uncle! You saw it coming. It is no longer possible to resist the siren call of the drunken wood-nymphs on the bunkhouse stoop. Actually, they’re not so much calling as banging on the door and hollering. “Hey, get your ass out here and check out this awesome fungus! Bring beer!” is pretty much the refrain. …
Should you wish to flatter me with theft
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Savage Death Island Motto
Take it or fucking leave it and get the hell away from me.
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