Category Archive: El Rancho Deluxe

Tales from the Faster country seat in Cottonmouth County, Texas

Nov 15 2008

Wine fridge


Zippy, still hearing the call of the wild at age 16, does not need a wine fridge to survive. Goddammit, it’s been months since the initiation of my relocation to the Texas Hill Country. The move has not yet been completed. This is because the house, which has been under construction for three years, remains …

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Nov 14 2008

Internet connection, why hast thou forsaken me?


Who am I to thwart the public’s inexhaustible fascination for photographs of my radio tower? As I merge my bony old biomass with the Arcadian rhythms of the Texas Hill Country, two truths emerge. One: one of my slippers will contain a scorpion in the morning. Two: radio tower or no radio tower, one’s rural …

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Nov 08 2008

Tower of power


The new radio tower at El Rancho Deluxe enables me to log back into the abuse. Yay internet. Just so you won’t think I was blowing fumes through my snoot yesterday when I resurfaced to announce that I am back from hiatus, I am posting this here thing. This post will largely consist of nothing. …

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Aug 05 2008


Lest ye all begin reveling in another “is she dead?” speculation, I hereby announce that posting will be, at best, sporadic for the next few weeks as I try to pack up the contents of the Twisty Bungalow for our massive relocation effort. Yes. The canids and I are finally moving Spinster HQ in its …

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Jul 09 2008



Stanley eating hay: my Number 1 Jam. Nobody asked, but this is what I spend 9 hours a day looking at these days. Even if you don’t give a corn tortilla for hottt bay horses, you can see how looking at Stanley is more excellent than watching Dude TV, or reading blogs that say “Barack …

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Jul 07 2008

Keep South Austin just gimme that countryside


As is always the case when I forget I have a blog, I’ve been getting emails from concerned blamers who have gotten it into their heads that the reason I’m not posting regularly is that I have been out sick with cancer again. I am sincerely moved by your interest in my tumors, but the …

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Feb 12 2008

My main man


I do not have to be asked twice to plaster all over the internet photos of my new boyfriend Stanley. I snapped this one of us with my cell phone seconds before he stuck his nose out and lipped it out of my hand. Stanley is in many respects much more interesting than patriarchy-blaming, not …

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Aug 26 2007

Prickly pear phone home


The cactuses at El Rancho Deluxe, I swear. Hours of compelling entertainment. Prickly pears can also be made into a handy and garish pink syrup to enhance the spinster aunt’s Number 1 coping mechanism, the pitcher of margaritas.* As if their comedic talent weren’t enough! _________________________ * Put on gloves. Pick a bunch of prickly …

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Jul 06 2007

I cannot resist one more spider post


Clump of harvestmen writhing in my perpetually unfinished soffit. The reader will kindly forgive the crappy picture quality; I had only my little point-and-shoot with me, having chemobrainedly omitted to throw the Big Camera Bag into the truck prior to departure. Phalangiium sp., Cottonmouth County, TX, July 2007. Speaking of shrimp foam, the Twisty Arthropod …

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Jun 12 2007

The love song of J. Twisty Faster


Coryphantha sp. Cottonmouth County, May 28, 2007 Been unavoidably detained. Not by cops. Completely forgot I had blog! Will likely stage triumphal return later today. Meanwhile, I leave you with (a) this super-trippy cactus flower, and (b) this thoughtful comment I found in the moderation pile (the commenter flatters me, in the first part, with …

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