Watch More News Videos at ABC 2012 Presidential Election Entertainment & Celebrity News This device, invented by a woman suffering the femininity-imposed body dysmorphia typical of all 21st century women over the age of 12 (she was moved to create it “out of pure panic,”) attaches to your hair and stretches out your face. It’s …
Category Archive: Femininity
That which pertains to the set of male-defined behaviors and practices the degree of assimilation of which determines the social success of any given woman, regardless of the degree to which the behaviors and practices benefit her objectively.
May 13 2012
Gag me with a silver spoon
I am pretty sure that you were wondering whether my manure pile has produced any frisbee-sized mushrooms recently. Meanwhile, I just heard, out of the corner of my ear, a commercial for a new reality TV show called Pregnant in Heels. I thought it was going to be a dramedy about prostituted women. Nope. Rich …
May 09 2012
Hugs, Twisty: Hey I know, let’s chuck some transgenderism chitchat at the wall and see what sticks!
I don’t know if it’s because I’m feeling pretty fresh and minty after having taken a few personal days months, or simply because I’m experiencing a nostalgic hankering for the days of yore when we so often enjoyed polite, pinkies-in-the-air discourse on the topic, but I just couldn’t let this email from an anguished blamer …
Feb 28 2012
Shirt happens
If you are a lady whose heart’s desire is to buy a Boing-Boing T-shirt featuring a giant angry unicorn puking blood, the privilege will cost you $2 more than it will cost a dude. This is because, although the women’s shirts are smaller and use less fabric, women Boingers apparently must appease dudenation by spending …
Feb 07 2012
PBS: Profiles in sexiness
Longtime readers are aware that hot flashes at 2 AM often oblige spinster aunts to engage in feverish channel-flipping. Last night, in the grip this plague, I encountered on PBS a riveting episode of “American Experience,” which series documentarizes and dramatizes the lives of iconic figures in American history. The subject of last night’s re-run …
Oct 01 2011
Whoops
Forgot I had a blog. Sorry about that. But here’s a sweet little movie you won’t want to miss. Girl Fight airs on Lifetime this Monday. “Inspired” by a “true story” about mean girls who beat up one of their own and post it on YouTube for internet fame and revenge, it’s super on-trend. Although …
Jul 24 2011
This TV ad is also puke
Summer’s Eve — the douche subsidiary of Fleet Laboratories, the company that makes enemas and other crap you stick up your ass — has a new spokesfist. According to this fist, which talks by thumb-synching to a voiceover, it can “perform the miracle of birth” and “make men drop to their knees in about 2.1 …
Jul 24 2011
TV ad is puke
Whenever I accidentally ingest poison and need to induce vomiting in a hurry, I watch a TV commercial for a beauty product. Recently, none* has been as efficient in producing instapuke as this ad for Mederma stretch mark remover. The commercial features attractive young women in underwear and fuzzy socks. Light, fluffy “la la la” …
Jun 13 2011
Anecdote mania!
Why no post today? I’ve been in church. So in the fine old tradition where spinster aunts rely on blamers to supply content while they (the spinster aunts) are otherwise ocupadas, I declare Reader Anecdote Day. I know I’m always urging everyone to make with the analysis rather than the anecdote, but I read this …
Mar 16 2011
There’s not enough femininity on the internet, so I wrote this
It separates the men from the sex class. It’s the cornerstone of the megatheocorporatocratic oppression of women. It’s a global humanitarian crisis. It’s femininity! It sure gets a lot of ink around here! We were just talking about it day before yesterday. At which point blamer Ashley raised a swell issue. Short of wearing a …
Should you wish to flatter me with theft
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Take it or fucking leave it and get the hell away from me.
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