Category Archive: Femininity

That which pertains to the set of male-defined behaviors and practices the degree of assimilation of which determines the social success of any given woman, regardless of the degree to which the behaviors and practices benefit her objectively.

Jun 13 2011

Anecdote mania!

The author as funfeminist rocker

Why no post today? I’ve been in church. So in the fine old tradition where spinster aunts rely on blamers to supply content while they (the spinster aunts) are otherwise ocupadas, I declare Reader Anecdote Day. I know I’m always urging everyone to make with the analysis rather than the anecdote, but I read this …

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Mar 16 2011

There’s not enough femininity on the internet, so I wrote this

It separates the men from the sex class. It’s the cornerstone of the megatheocorporatocratic oppression of women. It’s a global humanitarian crisis. It’s femininity! It sure gets a lot of ink around here! We were just talking about it day before yesterday. At which point blamer Ashley raised a swell issue. Short of wearing a …

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Mar 13 2011

Only sub-human

dove-chocolate pantyhose-fail

UPDATE: As commenters are probably aware, the So-Called Trans Debate (SCTD) is officially over. I may have mentioned it in passing in this essay, but please be advised that henceforth at I Blame the Patriarchy it will be necessary to discuss femininity without holding another painful referendum on transgenderism. On this post, as is my …

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Jan 26 2011

Death by femininity, again

If only pornography was just dirty pictures. That would still be bad, but not as bad as the real actual truth. Pornography — that is, the graphic representation of violence against women — is in fact like unto a thick, noxious gas percolating through every conceivable stratum of human culture. Take this example of multi-tiered …

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Dec 18 2010

A lil bit of twerking and lifting


Patriarchy blamers are world renowned for their (professed) eschewment of cable television, so it is possible that you have not heard of the most misogynist TV show ever conceived. As an award-nominated professional bearer of bad news, I am here to correct this situation. The history of women’s degradation is long and colorful, but this …

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Oct 26 2010



Sexy Chilean miner costume. Photo from purveyors of Patriarchy2K-compliant dudefantasy receptaclewear yandy dot com.

Aug 04 2010

Spinster aunt casts jaundiced eye at popular television show

Hollywood has long been recognized by the Global Cabal of Spinster Aunts as Ground Zero for American misogyny. Like everything that gurgles forth from that foul city, this Mad Men sensation that’s sweeping the nation has many sicko antifeminist repercussions. Never heard of Mad Men? It’s a “critically acclaimed” — which means that edgy dudes …

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Jun 05 2010

Hugs, Twisty: Woman’s sex appeal is unbearable to knob coworkers

To: Twisty Faster From: maria m. miranda Subject: Jezebel: woman fired for being too sexy at job Message: I know Jezebel covered this, but I want YOU to write about it. Dear maria m. miranda, Nothing gives me greater pleasure than catering to the whims of complete strangers! Here’s my synopsis [pieced together from the …

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May 17 2010

“The Czech-born supermodel teamed her Dolce and Gabbana LBD with bondage heels.”


Images In Modern Patriarchy Quiz Match the following captions to the celebrity red carpet collages below (or suggest your own): Caption 1. “The world is my oyster.” Caption 2. “I am paid to be your fantasy but nevertheless I feel violated by your relentless, prurient gaze.” (Alternately: “Fine, take the boobs, but you’re not getting …

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Apr 04 2010

The case for flip-flops and flowing robes


When I got a spam for “men in wedding dresses” this morning I thought, hell yeah! I sure do wanna see some men in wedding dresses. I bet men look even more asinine in wedding dresses than women do. And who doesn’t want to look at something asinine first thing on Sunday morning? Men universally …

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