Category Archive: Femininity

That which pertains to the set of male-defined behaviors and practices the degree of assimilation of which determines the social success of any given woman, regardless of the degree to which the behaviors and practices benefit her objectively.

Oct 03 2009

The comfortable feminist

I wouldn't let this dude into my kitchen with a ten-foot pole.

UPDATE: I slogged through David Lean’s Dr Zchivago the other night, the primary message of which film is “when the oppressed revolt they become hate-filled thugs, liars, murderers, and cold fish incapable of appreciating Omar Sharif’s doe eyes.” The guy who puts the revolution ahead of his personal life turns into a genocidal maniac and …

Continue reading »

Sep 11 2009

Hugs, Twisty: The color of womanhood, plus I suck all the fun out of a Bette Davis classic

Staffers at Spinster HQ (namely, me and my secretary Phil) are always delighted when an incoming email is brief. We’re even more delighted when it does not contain some variation on the “your head is up your ass” theme. We’re even more delighted still when its author more or less desperately confides that s/he is …

Continue reading »

Sep 02 2009

Tyra wants you


Airbrushed TV hottie seeks mother with “feminist viewpoint.” Photo from Howdy blamers. You know how I am constantly getting emails from people who have no idea what I Blame the Patriarchy is but tell me it’s “great” and hope to use it for their own patriarchy-affirming ends, usually by selling stuff? Here’s an appeal …

Continue reading »

Sep 02 2009

Just when you thought it was safe

Julia's surgeons break out the barbecue forks.

The Blogulation Department here at Spinster HQ has been on sabbatical due to auntly apathy and writer’s block. The deadly apathy/writer’s block combo, which results from intermittently spasmodic crystalline antimatter anomalies in the obstreperal lobe — brought on, no doubt, by extended megatheocorporatocratic interference — is also responsible for my having chucked college, all my …

Continue reading »

Jun 21 2009

Spinster aunt longs to bathe lobe

Ever since the Lightning Strike of Aught Nine took out my radio tower and my satellite and the computer running the missile silos I have aimed at various undisclosed megatheocorporatocratic installations, I’ve been out of the loop. I just heard that David Letterman told a tasteless joke about Willow Palin getting knocked up. I don’t …

Continue reading »

Jun 02 2009

Anecdotal evidence of something

The White Zinfandel Scare of the 1980’s produced lingering aftershocks of dumbassness of which I was heretofore unaware. It’s 2009, and men are terrified of rosé wines. So quoth Stingray, reporting from the Spinster Sommelier Department. Apparently, when non-oenophile men and women attend her wine tastings, men eschew the rosé without fail, but women, of …

Continue reading »

May 23 2009

Spinster aunt disagrees with columnist she agreed with that one time

This cuntalina opines in the Daily Mail that women who don’t have kids “lack […] an essential humanity.” That’s why she only wants “working mothers” on her staff. Her job is something she calls a “hack.” I don’t know what a “hack” is, but it apparently requires a familiarity with the experience of child vomit …

Continue reading »

May 22 2009

Spinster aunt emits guffaw at Sarah Haskins vid

Troubled by that TV commercial where the laundry detergent teddy bear mascot tries to drown a woman in a giant hot tub filled with pink laundry, but instead of calling the cops or trying to kill the teddy bear, the woman is grateful, and the teddy bear puts up a Do Not Disturb sign so …

Continue reading »

May 11 2009

Spinster aunt suffers bilious post-Mother’s Day aftermath

Mother’s Day Brunch Buffet ’09: How weak are the University of Texas Golf Club mimosas? I had to give the kid like 4 of’em before she would consent to pose with cherry-eyes. Photo by Tidy Faster. Another Mother’s Day come and gone. It seems like only yesterday. It will cause no one’s world to come …

Continue reading »

Apr 14 2009

Patriarchy on autopilot

Not long ago I posted a blurbette on the Saudi asshole who married his 8-year-old daughter to a middle-aged creep in exchange for $8000; the Saudi courts wouldn’t grant her a divorce because — yup, it’s true — the kid was too young to file the suit. By way of updating the case: now the …

Continue reading »

Older posts «

» Newer posts