Category Archive: Femininity

That which pertains to the set of male-defined behaviors and practices the degree of assimilation of which determines the social success of any given woman, regardless of the degree to which the behaviors and practices benefit her objectively.

Sep 02 2009

Tyra wants you

tyra

Airbrushed TV hottie seeks mother with “feminist viewpoint.” Photo from tyrabanks.com Howdy blamers. You know how I am constantly getting emails from people who have no idea what I Blame the Patriarchy is but tell me it’s “great” and hope to use it for their own patriarchy-affirming ends, usually by selling stuff? Here’s an appeal …

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Sep 02 2009

Just when you thought it was safe

Julia's surgeons break out the barbecue forks.

The Blogulation Department here at Spinster HQ has been on sabbatical due to auntly apathy and writer’s block. The deadly apathy/writer’s block combo, which results from intermittently spasmodic crystalline antimatter anomalies in the obstreperal lobe — brought on, no doubt, by extended megatheocorporatocratic interference — is also responsible for my having chucked college, all my …

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Jun 21 2009

Spinster aunt longs to bathe lobe

Ever since the Lightning Strike of Aught Nine took out my radio tower and my satellite and the computer running the missile silos I have aimed at various undisclosed megatheocorporatocratic installations, I’ve been out of the loop. I just heard that David Letterman told a tasteless joke about Willow Palin getting knocked up. I don’t …

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Jun 02 2009

Anecdotal evidence of something

The White Zinfandel Scare of the 1980′s produced lingering aftershocks of dumbassness of which I was heretofore unaware. It’s 2009, and men are terrified of rosé wines. So quoth Stingray, reporting from the Spinster Sommelier Department. Apparently, when non-oenophile men and women attend her wine tastings, men eschew the rosé without fail, but women, of …

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May 23 2009

Spinster aunt disagrees with columnist she agreed with that one time

This cuntalina opines in the Daily Mail that women who don’t have kids “lack [...] an essential humanity.” That’s why she only wants “working mothers” on her staff. Her job is something she calls a “hack.” I don’t know what a “hack” is, but it apparently requires a familiarity with the experience of child vomit …

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May 22 2009

Spinster aunt emits guffaw at Sarah Haskins vid

Troubled by that TV commercial where the laundry detergent teddy bear mascot tries to drown a woman in a giant hot tub filled with pink laundry, but instead of calling the cops or trying to kill the teddy bear, the woman is grateful, and the teddy bear puts up a Do Not Disturb sign so …

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May 11 2009

Spinster aunt suffers bilious post-Mother’s Day aftermath

Mother’s Day Brunch Buffet ’09: How weak are the University of Texas Golf Club mimosas? I had to give the kid like 4 of’em before she would consent to pose with cherry-eyes. Photo by Tidy Faster. Another Mother’s Day come and gone. It seems like only yesterday. It will cause no one’s world to come …

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Apr 14 2009

Patriarchy on autopilot

Not long ago I posted a blurbette on the Saudi asshole who married his 8-year-old daughter to a middle-aged creep in exchange for $8000; the Saudi courts wouldn’t grant her a divorce because — yup, it’s true — the kid was too young to file the suit. By way of updating the case: now the …

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Mar 30 2009

Psychologists conduct studies, or, The Boothroyd Show

It strains the lobe to contemplate what passes, in mainstream media, for women’s health reportage. BBC News, for example, has a passel of crap in the “Health” section on how women attract men, how women select men, and how women’s behavior is a function of our essential receptacality with respect to men. Check this sexist, …

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Mar 16 2009

Spinster aunt leafs through Daily Mail, requires anti-emetic

dailymailyou

Hold the Batter Blaster! Down at the Spinster HQ Barfology Lab things are really spewing this morning. But before we get going, here is a handy a synopsis of the following post, for those who are disinclined to slog through the looming Twistgasso Sea of dependent clauses. Today’s exciting post will say this: The Daily …

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