Category Archive: Heartwarming Nature Crap

Jun 23 2010

Make that Friday. Or possibly Sunday.

I am not bailing on Art Week. Not me, mang. But I must emerge from Denial Town to announce that its official commencement has to be postponed again. I am experiencing more events, circumstances, and — I’m serious — hooplas — than I had anticipated when I announced the original postponement. Did I say Saturday? …

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Jun 17 2010

Spinster aunt beats dead horse

This lone stinkhorn mushroom is the only entity anywhere in Cottonmouth County that doesn’t have a katydid stuck to it. Unsurprisingly, my award-nominated (I personally nominate all my work for awards, to compensate for the fact that, incomprehensibly, I am so often overlooked by committees) vid lampooning the anti-science lifestyle choice, has generated some jaundice. …

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Jun 08 2010

The heartwarming zubiks of Obstreperon

Jun 04 2010

Bubble-breakings of a entire fool

Remember when you first got the Internet? I don’t, but maybe you do. Maybe you remember how kooky those first few spams were? Penis enlargement! Baldness! Impotence! Bwahaha! Nigerian princes with money trouble! Bwahaha! Etc. Alas, those days are gone. Spam remains dude-centric, like all manifestations of patriarchal culture, but now it’s all banal lists …

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May 29 2010

Spiny tree pig of the week

It’s a bastard Monty Python sketch around here: Spiny Norman meets the plummetin’ sheep. My Golden Retriever Bert treed this specimen. North American porcupine roosting in live oak tree, Cottonmouth County TX, April 2010. Here’s some No. 1 Science Porcupine Information: They’re the most longevitous of rodents, maxing out at 10 years, which is longer …

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May 26 2010

Heartwarming $20 Bill of the Week

The picturesque Texas Hill Country is full of pleasant surprises. Take this abnormally tiny $20 bill, for example. I sure did!

May 14 2010

Heartwarming marsupial of the week

What a darling fellow! This gentle furry woodland creature comes around every night at 8 o’clock to frolic amid the rotting kitchen waste in my compost bin, at which point our nightly staring contest commences. He growls at me, inch-long fangs dripping with disease, for as long as I care to listen (video below). I …

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Apr 05 2010

Spinster aunt backslides (but can quit anytime. Really.)

Springtime at El Rancho Deluxe. These goddam bluebonnets are everywhere. Longtime residents of Savage Death Island will recall that this Internet feminist once had a pretty hardcore BBC news feed habit. I sat around all day transfixed by the horror of the Beeb. That habit caused my butt to fuse with my Aeron chair, and …

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Jan 24 2010

Rednecks vs hogs

Do you often say to yourself, “I wonder, what does a feral hog track look like, anyway?” Look no further. Behold the goods. This track was huge enough that I have no wish to encounter the hog what made it. It probably has giant venomous fangs, spiked tail, and 6-inch claws. Texas has more feral …

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Dec 04 2009

Feel-good post of the week

The other day I rode a horse bareback for the first time in 30 years. This horse. It was just like riding a bike, if the bike were 6 feet tall, 1300 pounds, and would spook like a deer at the terrifying sight of a cigarette butt on the ground. I had to get a …

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