Category Archive: Junk Studies

Studies that purport to provide scientific justification for conceiving of women as “different” from men; or, studies which don’t purport to prove anything of the kind, but are construed as such by media reports; frequently from the evolutionary psychology department, where post-docs enjoy getting grant money to think up studies that will let them look at porn or manipulate real naked people.

Oct 14 2011

New study shows makeup is not optional

Well I hope you’re sitting down, because a cosmetics conglomerate has commissioned a study demonstrating that makeup makes people respect women who wear it. Ha, I was joking about sitting down, because as you know there is nothing more predictable than a cosmetics conglomerate trying to prove with number 1 science information that their useless, …

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Mar 02 2011

Spinster aunt conducts junk study of dogs and restrooms

Yesterday the Spinster Junk Studies Department promised its own junk study, and here it is! You can view the original raw data here. Blamers and Dogs 63% of responding blamers don’t know how their dog feels about them, either because they don’t have a dog, or they lack sufficient data to determine their dog’s views, …

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Dec 09 2010

Pop psych mag cites evolutionary evidence for female fickleness

psychology today december 2010

Few pseudo-entities spook the spinster butt-boils like pseudoscience, and few pseudosciences are as a hot spork in a spinster’s obstreperal lobe like evolutionary psychology. Evolutionary psychology rests on the shaky (often enpornulated) hypothesis that modern human social behaviors are actually species-preserving adaptations. Because evolutionary psychology, like all psuedoscience, is administered by jackasses who are heavily …

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Jun 12 2010

Spinster aunt registers lack of surprise

I knew it! We acknowledge that systematic meat sharing by male chimpanzees in expectation of, or in return for, immediate copulations might be discovered in future studies. However, current data indicate that such exchanges are so rare, and so different in nature from exchanges among humans, that with respect to chimpanzees, sexual bartering in humans …

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Jun 07 2010

Science dudes declare porn good, support claim with Danish graphs, flawed reasoning

woman of willendorf

The extent to which dudes just don’t get it fucking blows my lobe. While readin’ along over at the Scienceblogs, I encountered an essay entitled Just How Bad Is Porn, Anyway? Try to contain your surprise; it was authored by a dude. Whenever I see a science dude begin to muse on the philosophic value …

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Apr 08 2009

Primate week continues: the origins of prostitution

Yipes, that dang-ole BBC news feed! As mentioned yesterday, the thing infests the Twisty mainframe with a resilience matched only by the Great “Law & Order” Marathon of ’03. I allude to a dark interlude wherein my formerly happy-go-lucky keister became inexplicably fused to my lime green recliner while, according to a rigorous schedule, I …

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Apr 02 2009

Post number 1867

proboscismonkey

Your views may differ, but here at Spinster HQ the day just doesn’t feel complete unless we meditate on a study conducted by sexperts explaining patriarchy in unassailable scientific terms. In fact, we’re collecting evidence in support of the theory that sexperts — there appears to be a nearly inexhaustible supply of’em — are actually …

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Mar 30 2009

Psychologists conduct studies, or, The Boothroyd Show

It strains the lobe to contemplate what passes, in mainstream media, for women’s health reportage. BBC News, for example, has a passel of crap in the “Health” section on how women attract men, how women select men, and how women’s behavior is a function of our essential receptacality with respect to men. Check this sexist, …

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Mar 26 2009

UK shrinks suffer case of double-barbaria

Lobe been blown yet today? In the UK 17% of psychiatrists surveyed said they “had agreed to help at least one patient ‘reduce’ their gay or lesbian feelings when asked to do so.” Hey, UK psychiatrists! Enough already with the Dr Frankenstein crap. This “cure” shit is fraying the Twisty neurons. Many straight people in …

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Mar 04 2009

Spinster aunt conducts own damn survey

The Twisty Institute for the Study of Heterofemininity (TISH) invites women with boyfriends, husbands, and/or fathers to answer the following questions as honestly as possible. The raw data will be tabulated, collated, analyzed, duplicated, dipilated, notated, submitted, cited, misinterpreted, misquoted, and thrown away next week. On special occasions, or when he’s seeking your approval, does …

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