Turkey flashmob surrounds the canine compound at Spinster HQ. Cottonmouth County, October 2010. You could have knocked me and Phil, my secretary, over with a feather when we heard some guy on the radio freak out about the repeal of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell. It was the fact of the repeal, not the radio guy …
Category Archive: Keep your bias off my gender
That which pertains to gender-based bigotry, discrimination, or hate.
Jun 05 2010
Hugs, Twisty: Woman’s sex appeal is unbearable to knob coworkers
To: Twisty Faster From: maria m. miranda Subject: Jezebel: woman fired for being too sexy at job Message: I know Jezebel covered this, but I want YOU to write about it. Dear maria m. miranda, Nothing gives me greater pleasure than catering to the whims of complete strangers! Here’s my synopsis [pieced together from the …
May 14 2010
Heartwarming marsupial of the week
What a darling fellow! This gentle furry woodland creature comes around every night at 8 o’clock to frolic amid the rotting kitchen waste in my compost bin, at which point our nightly staring contest commences. He growls at me, inch-long fangs dripping with disease, for as long as I care to listen (video below). I …
Feb 04 2010
Still Life with Shatner Bobblehead and Duct Tape
Oh, no. In the picturesque Texas Hill Country, where for 2 years it did nothing but not rain, it now does nothing but rain. Remember that Ray Bradbury story where the kid lives on a planet where it only stops raining for like 10 minutes once every 80 years or whatever, and everybody looks forward …
Nov 14 2009
LubeWatch ’09
Unidentified terrestrial object, September 2009. Fellow heartwarming nature crappists will recall that, although spinster aunts are closely related to mushrooms (in terms of a shared propensity to sprout on rotting logs), my mycological chops are not, perhaps, as finely honed as might be considered ideal. Thus I will refrain from positively identifying this appealing, orange, …
Sep 08 2009
You thought I was just kidding
Announcing my new heartwarming nature crap series, “Mutant Prickly Pear Paddles of the Texas Hill Country.” I expect to turn the project into a coffee table book sometime in the future, perhaps when people can afford to buy coffee tables again. While I tootle off to Austin to buy some polyvinyl alcohol (the armadillos are …
Jun 21 2009
Spinster aunt longs to bathe lobe
Ever since the Lightning Strike of Aught Nine took out my radio tower and my satellite and the computer running the missile silos I have aimed at various undisclosed megatheocorporatocratic installations, I’ve been out of the loop. I just heard that David Letterman told a tasteless joke about Willow Palin getting knocked up. I don’t …
Jun 02 2009
Anecdotal evidence of something
The White Zinfandel Scare of the 1980′s produced lingering aftershocks of dumbassness of which I was heretofore unaware. It’s 2009, and men are terrified of rosé wines. So quoth Stingray, reporting from the Spinster Sommelier Department. Apparently, when non-oenophile men and women attend her wine tastings, men eschew the rosé without fail, but women, of …
May 22 2009
Spinster aunt emits guffaw at Sarah Haskins vid
Troubled by that TV commercial where the laundry detergent teddy bear mascot tries to drown a woman in a giant hot tub filled with pink laundry, but instead of calling the cops or trying to kill the teddy bear, the woman is grateful, and the teddy bear puts up a Do Not Disturb sign so …
May 11 2009
Hugs, Twisty: the continuing binary genderfication of America, and the introduction of the Ditwuss Awards
Blamer Kate reports via Blackberry from the West Coast: Dear Twisty, A laughably obnoxious ad cluster I spotted at the intersection of 6th and Anza in San Francisco while doing my very dudely pizza delivery work: [For those of you who can’t make out the slogans in the photo: “Save the calories for bacon.” “0 …
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