Category Archive: Mass Media

Ripped from the headlines

Jul 24 2011

This TV ad is also puke

spokesfist

Summer’s Eve — the douche subsidiary of Fleet Laboratories, the company that makes enemas and other crap you stick up your ass — has a new spokesfist. According to this fist, which talks by thumb-synching to a voiceover, it can “perform the miracle of birth” and “make men drop to their knees in about 2.1 …

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Jul 24 2011

TV ad is puke

Navel-gazing as beauty ritual

Whenever I accidentally ingest poison and need to induce vomiting in a hurry, I watch a TV commercial for a beauty product. Recently, none* has been as efficient in producing instapuke as this ad for Mederma stretch mark remover. The commercial features attractive young women in underwear and fuzzy socks. Light, fluffy “la la la” …

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Jul 11 2011

The intersectionality of menopause and male enhancement

extamax

2:46 A.M. Sudden, overwhelming sense of despair. Blast furnace embedded under skin cranks up to eleven. Hot sweats. Uncontrollable shivers. Cold sweats. Drenched and freezing. Yelling “Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck!” Toweling off, changing clothes, changing sheets. Back to the Tempurpedic for two hours of sleepless ceiling-staring/channel-flipping. 6:30 A.M. Alarm goes off. Discombobulation commences. [Open appeal …

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Jul 09 2011

Spinster aunt forgets she has blog, again

I’ve just been through the comments queue and freed those of your brilliant remarks that set off the spamulator. Sorry for the delay. It’s almost as though my assistant Phil hasn’t been doing his job! Meanwhile, about Casey Anthony: the global frenzy over her trial and acquittal says more about our culture’s obsessive sentimentalization of …

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May 24 2011

iBook Store bleeps out raunchy X-rated title of feminist classic

No time to post, but check this out: the only book by Andrea Dworkin available at the iPad store is titled “I*********e”. Yet they leave Tucker Max’s I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell intact! I’m downloading B*ss*p*nts right now. What a world.

May 22 2011

Brit royals pay homage to unidentified cartoon

royal cartoon

Origin unknown. Sent in by Tidy.

May 19 2011

Spinster aunt temporarily icked out by stupid Geraldo Rivera column

Holy shit, remember that dude Geraldo Rivera? The edgy, muck-raking journalist from 40 years ago? But then he kind of turned into a supremely annoying one-man tabloid? I hadn’t seen him around lately, so I’d assumed he’d been sent off to Joke-Butt Island, where guys with 70s porn mustaches go to die, but no, he …

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May 11 2011

Warm jets

What could be more captivating than toilet paper? Almost everything, it turns out, but for some reason I’m still stuck on advertising for Quilted Northern tee-pee. O happy day, I found a new version of the TV ad I mocked in yesterday’s post. It features “Victoria,” a TV commercial mom — 30-ish, white, able-bodied, ostensibly …

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May 10 2011

Spinster aunt mocks media

voguebikini

No time to post! It’s Guffaw At Media Day! 1. Here is an excerpt from the May 2011 issue of American Vogue magazine; a Paris fashion designer is using African, rather than Chinese, labor to manufacture her line. “Too often we think of Africa as a victimized, depressing place, so I’m trying to show the …

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Apr 25 2011

Misogyny in the news: that’s entertainment!

You can always rely on news headlines to breathe a bit of life into the Global Accords Governing Fair Use of Women. For example, today’s two most popular stories on the KXAN Austin News website are Pregnant woman beaten in north Austin and Mom finds grown man in teen’s bed. You already know what these …

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