Category Archive: Lobe-blowing

That which is so off da hook fucked up it blows the obstreperal lobe

Sep 26 2009

Yay and boo

From the perspective of the cinquagenarian spinster aunt-on-the-go (a dying breed, literally), this screen grab (from the iTunes store comments section; the commenter is bitter because s/he is not getting something for nothing in an iPhone internet radio application) illustrates practically everything that is both right and wrong with the Internet and the world. iPhones: …

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Aug 25 2009

Atomic penetrators, and more!

Drunk chick interviews snake assassin as he changes his socks

It’s Tuesday, and that means it’s time for another installment of Unrelated Spinster Pronouncements. 1. Poor pit vipers. My last post on the Western diamondback rattler revealed that, herpetologically speaking, many of us have something of a gaping void where our common sense and interspecies empathy ought to be. Although I am no snakespert, it …

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May 27 2009

Spinster aunt has an appointment in town, so this is all the post you get

Venomous sicariid (male) enjoying its last heartwarming moments in the Spinster Araneae Compound. May 2009. U.S. Ambassador Susan Rice said Tuesday that North Korea is “trying to test whether they can intimidate the international community” with an underground nuclear test and launching of short-range missiles. Well, color me intimidated, Susan. Whenever crazy dictators start blowing …

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Apr 13 2009

Texas state rep needs reprogramming

Texas State Rep. Betty Brown, racist tool

Not all Texans, I regret to say, are easygoing, progressive thinkers. State Representative Betty Brown, for example, is a tool. Betty Brown just can’t wrap her brain around the fact that some certified 100% Texans have Asian names. This is because her brain has the philosophical sophistication of a Thomas Kinkade painting. Texans should have …

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Apr 11 2009

Internet gasbag dedicated to ending discrimination against honkys

Things are really hoppin here at Spinster HQ, and there is absolutely zero time for blogging today. For example, I have to slouch in the lime green recliner with a cup of Fair Trade half-caf and contemplate whether to adopt a Great Pyrenees from a rescue. There are some bluebonnets that need photographing. And that’s …

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Apr 10 2009

A couple of stinky stains declare love for patriarchy, MRA-style

Somebody just sent me an email with this subject line: “Newsflash: Dr. Helen (Instapundit’s spouse) is retarded.” I. OK. Even though Liberal Dude role model Jon Stewart delights legions of adolescent boys when he uses it, spinster aunts consider the word ‘retarded’ — once a medical diagnosis used clinically to debase a class of people, …

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Apr 01 2009

That’s some catch, that Catch 22

You think “enemy combatants” are the only people who can be denied access to an attorney and thrown in prison without having been convicted of any crime? Wrong-o. In Delta County, Michigan, USA, they’re doing it to homeless single mothers. I allude to the egregious tale of Edwina Nowlin, who earlier this month was jailed …

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Feb 28 2009

“Sex therapist” to women: Just close your eyes and think of England

The blamer will kindly excuse me for today’s lack of megatwistanalysis, but there’s a minor crisis down at the Spinster HQ Ornithology Department. A certain sidekick — I’m not naming names, but it starts with an S and ends with a “ray” — left the back door open last night and this morning I’ve got …

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Feb 05 2009

Thursday vagina blogging: open sesame

Vaginismus! That’s right, I said “vaginismus.” It’s that thing where your vagina says “no way, Jose,” and clamps shut, deflecting all comers. According to one quaintly heteronormative phallocentric UK psych site, “vaginismus occurs when the vagina is unable to relax and permit the penetration of the penis during intercourse.”* Other, more progressive sources cite tampons, …

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Dec 21 2008

Father of the year

Blamer Sofia was kind enough to depress the crap out of me this morning by sending along this repellent bit of news from Saudi Arabia. The gist: Creep runs low on dough, marries off 8-year-old daughter to another creep (aged 58) for a consideration of $8000. Mother of 8-year-old petitions for divorce, but it’s a …

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